The brookers post graduate thread

[hawthers]

We've got so good at brooking no argument for no pregnancy complications and sneeze births, we're going for our Phds in big fat babies

Jaggy I know what you mean about the sore fanjo business. Did you have a tear or just an episiotomy? (I say 'just' an episiotomy, I'm not saying that's necessarily easier to recover from). It's annoying isn't it because sitting is the hurty thing and you do a lot of sitting with these new babies! I found with my second degree tear this time it really hurt at first when I was actually doing the sitting down or getting up (and was broadly uncomfortable whilst sat down) but it does get better. A d i remember from the forceps last time that they leave everything bruised too so that will take a few days to go down. Each day is a day closer to it getting better though and I imagine that the bruising / swelling from the forceps should heal quicker than the episiotomy? Especially if you've figured out feeding while lying down.

Scream - just read your posts on t'other thread and I think you make an excellent point about the skin to skin thing - surely your mum will understand if you say you were hoping your hospital time (and indeed when you get home) would be lots of skin to skin and you wouldn't be comfortable doing that with lots of visitors?

If your mum is really upset about the 2-week thing could you perhaps offer them short visits but perhaps not every day. But be clear that it's for say 30 mins mac every 2 or 3 days? A bit like hospital visiting times? I totally get not wanting to 'share' though - especially when you've been through a pg like yours! xx

hehe, scream i was out of hospital after about 9 hours and about 4 of them DS2 spent having skin to skin with either me or DH! i was lying naked under a sheet for that time so we couldn't really have squeezed in visitors! last time i was in for 2 nights but only had visitors the day after DS1 was born. he was too late at night the first day and i think i went home before visiting hours the next day. i did had one or other set of grandparents round a lot for a few days, they live quite far away and he was 1st gc on both sides.

my in-laws seem to want to make sure they visit on their own, I'll have to organise today between them and my parents!

i think i am enjoying wee squeaky DS2 so much because i really can't remember DS1's first few weeks that well. :( i was a state after long labour then emcs, took me weeks to feel better. i know it's kind of stupid but i always felt I'd done a shit job, not realising he wasn't feeding often enough/well although it was really his tongue tie.

i did get an

i did get an episiotomy biscuits but it was all very rapid, DS was close to being born by the time it was all organised and had got blood samples from his scalp etc! i guess maybe the mega swelling is maybe due to forceps.

we are having nappy and scream time now as he's just woken up and pooed and done burpy dribbles everywhere. think his wee digestive system must be v busy and he's not impressed.

A has been awake for an hour and a half now! Argh! Sleep is good babies!

dream f was rather windy and yacky on the early days but we used infacol for a bit then he just seemed to get better.

scream I would trust your gut and explain nicely to your mum that you would much rather their help when your DH has finished his pat leave so it would be better if they took time off then. Certainly the day of the cs I think it would be pretty pointless them coming as you might not get 'done' until the afternoon and you could be in recovery for a couple of hours before you make it onto the ward. There is no way I wanted to see anyone the first day.

The second day the spinal will still be wearing off, you'll have your catheter removed and be just getting mobile after probably a challenging first night. I'm not sure anything more than a half an hour visit will be possible when you factor in visiting times and the frequent feeding of mini s.

The third day again with hosp visiting times it will be tricky. You could always tell s porkie and say the hosp limits each visit to half an hour si it doesn't wear the new mums out.

Ime help in a couple if weeks time is much better than right away. And your m and d visiting should be about them helping you rather than them seeing the baby as such if that makes sense. Am sure they will understand but as you say much better to have the convo up front.

I think you are doing the right thing and can supply more arguments if you meet any resistance :)

Oh thats a good point never - about needing help after DH goes back to work. Obviously we all know that because you're a brooker, you'll be completely healed up and fine and dandy by the time DH goes back to work. But you could sort of angle it to your mum that you might like some help once he goes back in case you're still struggling from the SPD? (again, we all know you'll be skipping around enjoying your newfound mobility )

Aww you guys, thanks so much for all the advice! I will be taking it all on board and including it in my chat with my Mum later this morn.

I'm glad I didn't jump into this discussion yday when I first found out, you've all helped me to see much better ways of expressing something which was just a gut feeling before! Plus I feel 100% better today after NOT puking all night and therefore actually getting a whole SIX hours sleep! First time all week!

I do hope all the refluxy babies feel better soon. I have an emergency bottle of infacol upstairs and I can see I'll be asking you ladies how and when to use it!

I've learnt so much about mini people from you all that I just can't wait to put it all into practice! I cannot believe I should have my LO by Wed afternoon! (A little sleep has restored my seriously depleted enthusiasm!)

I was an afternoon CS and wary of visitors that day as I would only have had my babies a couple of hours before the 6-8 visiting started. Both my parents came (they're divorced). Dh wasn't there as he was obviously at home with DD (as it was my mum with her). With two after a CS I needed help picking both up n getting both on the boob/s. With one baby and no child at home I'd far rather this have been just me, dh and Lo time but wasn't to be for me!!

I had a different experience of visitors - wild horses wouldn't have kept my family away! And I wanted them to come, so that everyone could see for themselves that she was fine and I was fine. M was born at 12.24, visiting hours started at 2 and mum, sister, stepdad, sister's boyfriend and BIL were there by 2.05! Dad arrived about 20 mins later having been held up by a traffic accident on the way. It was lovely - they all crowded into my tiny room and hugged me and DH and then cooed and got all teary over M. Nobody tried to throw them out, maybe because it was a private room. When M wanted to feed the men all left (apart from DH) without me having to ask them and waited outside until we said they could come back in. I was in a hospital gown and it just pulled right down at the neck. Visiting hours finished at 4 and they all left. The next set of visiting hours were 7-8pm, but the hospital let Dad and BIL in at 6 because they had come so far and had to go home that night (BIL to London, Dad to Aberdeenshire). Mum and stepdad came back at 7, too. Then I had my sister and 4 closest girl friends in the next afternoon, and mum and stepdad in the evening. Mum and stepdad stayed in my house for a week, cleaned the whole place from top to bottom, and cooked and waited on us hand and foot. My grandparents visited on the Fri (when she was a week old) and we all went out for lunch. Mum and stepdad left that day, and Dad, stepmum and the 3 kids visited on the Sat, just for a couple of hours. That was the only visit that stressed me, because the kids were sooooo hyper and my littlest sister spent the whole time going 'can I hold her now? Can we put her in her swing? Can we change her nappy?' and poking M's feet while I was feeding her. At least it was a short visit!

PIL are coming this afternoon to meet M for the first time. I need her to go to sleep so I can tidy up a bit, but she is showing no signs of sleepiness.

Dream, you are doing AMAZINGLY with your two! I have got some colic drops and M is only a bit sick and windy, not terribly. Tbh haven't used the drops yet but they are here in case of need!

Jaggy, hope the fanjo recovers swiftly. Have you tried warm baths with lavender oil? My MW swore by them.

I can second the lavender oil recommendation. It worked wonders after my episiotomy and forceps delivery.

thanks for the fanjo sympathy! different midwife to inspect me today. it turns out my stitches are not too bad, most of the swelling is frickin huge piles. why no one mentioned this before i don't know. :( so now i need to get something to reduce them being so huge. will keep an eye out for lavender oil too, cheers.

DS2 is fine, wee bit jaundiced and has lost less than 10% of his birth weight.

i have PIL round for first visit today too. kind of dreading it, apparently the whole idea of how bf works didn't sink in last time. DH mentioned DS2's feeding lots last night and apparently MIL said something about me 'doing that feeding on demand so you'll get nothing done'

not sure how to explain that it's not a lifestyle choice, it's just a supply and demand thing! DH is wondering what we should be doing instead- letting a 2 day old cry?

oh joy, they're here and I'm feeding DS2 in the bedroom. this will go down well...

God, best of luck with the pils jaggy sounds worse than my mil's opinion of bf. I had bad piles in pg and it is horrible, hope they sort that out for you soon.

Another disastrous public bf today for me - really great ahead of the wedding tomorrow. Woohoo. Had a little weep about it in the car on the way home. I think it's because I keep ending up on normal chairs in cages rather than getting the comfy ones but I need to be able to feed in any chair!

A very sleepy today post a bad end to the night. Hope it doesn't mean another bad one tonight. Her eye is also a little bloodshot now. Results from swab back Monday.

Not a good day so far. Dd1 was ace this am per nursery so feeling like I sent the wrong one to nursery :)

Jaggy I so nearly said yesterday be careful of piles if it's all sore down there - they were worse than my stitches I think (and still are ). I had them in the pg, but pushing I think made them worse .

Get something to sort them out - they will get better (I hope!) I have one of everything from the Anusol range .

Oh and have for your PIL and their thoughts on bf! They should get together with my mum and they can discuss ways to entertain a hungry newborn until the next allotted feeding time

Pomme sorry the feeding was bad today . Is there anything you can take with you for tomorrow to help? Like a cushion or anything? Or anywhere you could go to feed in private? Is it a close family member? If you're at a hotel or something there might be somewhere you can go and get a comfy armchair? It's so hard to feed on unsupportive chairs xx

E last fed at 9:45 and then I've just fed him at 2:15, so a 4.5 hr gap, but he's only had about 7 mins and gone back to sleep

I will stop hogging your thread ladies! I just wanted to thank Dream and Too for their visitor stories. I have to say both of those scenarios, especially Too's, would really stress me out! I desperately want time for just DH, LO and I after the birth. I won't repeat my massive whinge on this thread, but basically I didn't make much headway with convincing my Mum to curtail the family visits in the first 3 days. I'm hoping we don't end up having a big argument in the hospital (I'm not overly reasonable when hormonal.... )

Lots of sympathy on the piles front! Obviously mine aren't as bad as post-birth piles, but they're still super uncomfortable. I not only have the entire Anusol range, I've also had to ask DH to replenish my supplies twice in the last week or so.

Sorry to hear about the difficult public bfing Pomme :( Soon you'll be a pro and these issues will be a thing of the past! Fingers crossed for you to have a lovely time at the wedding tomorrow, you know what they say about disastrous dress rehearsals

Jaggy I hope the PIL visit is going better than expected. Try not to let them get to you and just bask in the glory of the gorgeous little man you have created!

biscuits - so glad you wrote that. A seems determined to sleep all afternoon today. I changed her nappy, sprayed saline solution in her nose and washed her eye and only got a five min feed! Getting the night dreads now!

Wedding is my best friends and I'm sure she'll let me use a room at the house the wedding party is staying in (still slightly at timing of wedding meaning I'm not in the wedding party!). Would rather stay with friends/dh/dd1 though. Dd1 is great at weddings - she loves a good party! It's also three hours away and we're all staying in one hotel room together sat night and the weather forecast is terrible so feeling a bit worried about it anyway!

scream - with dd1 I didn't manage to control pils re weekend visit days 3-4 and it was awful and affected me for months. This time round I was very clear and got what I wanted and it was great. It is up to you and your mum will get over it.

not been out for piles stuff yet but getting on ok with PIL. :)

DS2 just snuggled in on their knees for the last couple of hours which they enjoyed, DS1 was asleep so it was quite peaceful.

as predicted FIL asked how often i need to feed him, closely followed by MIL with one about not knowing how much he's getting! they mean well, but are just clueless. i managed to do a reasonable answer about how you don't need to know, you just have to have confidence and feed lots to try and get your supply going. i usually just get flustered and gibber so that was an improvement.

DS1 now up and DS2 and i in bedroom for a feed. both boys have been brought lots of lovely presents, spoiled rotten they are.

will catch up later...

oops cross posted lots there while feeding!

what's the best product from the Anusol range for Feckin huge post-birth piles then?

Jaggy I've alway got them on prescription - I don't know if the mw could prescribe? If not the GP? Maybe the GP could prescribe over the phone to save you dragging yourself to the surgery if the MWs have looked at it at your house? I think you can get better stuff on prescription?

But in answer to your question I have one with hydrocortisone in it and a suppository version of it too