April 2011 - silence might be golden but the April ladies are diamond so chat on

[GlaikitFizzog]

Ta Dah!

Whingy Mememe post alert.

DHs gran died on Thhursday night obviously he wanted to be there ASAP but he had a work thing yesterday meaning he couldn't leave til this evening and we were supposed to be spending the weekend in a nice hotel anyway for his birthday which is today. I had organised loads of stuff which I then has to reorganise around work and then flights including a surprise party which was cut stupidly short. So DH books himself in a flight for an eye watering sum of money then bloody Mil organises the funeral for tomorrow morning, that he has no chance of getting to although he should make it to the crematorium if everything goes to the minute. So one wonders what the bloody great rush was now [hardhearted] My credit card has mystically stopped working so I'm now cashless and everything will be done by cheque. My family are supposed to be visiting, well, are visiting next week and are jyst so needy (they don't speak French) I'm cracking in anticipation. And I have no time off when they're here. At all. I fly to the UK for a wedding Thursday night and am working from 7-5.30 pretty much every day til then so out for about 12 hours a day. I don't know how I'm holding it together and I have nothing prepared for tomorrows lessons. The marking will bloody well have to wait but I have 4 classes and NO ideas. And I've not even sent the stuff we covered last week round yet.

Aaaaaaaaargh. This week was going to be hard enough. And now I have to put my own emotions in a box too she was such a wonderful, special, lady - tough as nails, first member of his family I met,

Oh Frak :( I hope the week goes as well as it can. Don't forget to breathe - it all sounds really busy.

We've had a nice afternoon in the park with friends M and their baby crawling around on the grass. She had a great time, although didn't want to keep her hat on. We then went for a drink in the pub :) And somehow I've also got most of the stuff done I hoped to this weekend, mainly buying things for M's birthday party next Saturday.

Oh Frak what a nightmare for you all

We have had a fabulous day for T's party, the weather was amazing so we were able to sit outside, the kids played in the sandpit. It was lovely, and I am shattered!

And in other news, T is walking! He has been taking the odd step or two unsupported here and there for over a month but hadn't got any further, and then suddenly this weekend he is walking around the room!

Frak I'm so sorry to hear that. if you want I'll hop on a plane and visit! Although its a balmy 20 ° here today and I'm plotting in the heat! Not sure I'd cope with tropical!

B has mastered proper crawling on our wooden floors at last! Although his favourite thing to do now is push his walker and crash into the sofa!!

Just back from a lovely walk round the village. went to the post office and the chemist. had a wander around the library too. I actually love where we live. its taken 3 years but I really do.

Frak I'm sorry to hear what a rough time you're having. I think that when you are grieving yourself it can drain you so that other things in life that otherwise would be extremely annoying are instead so much more difficult to deal with and respond to. Go gently with yourself.

Fizz That doesn't sound like you got an awful lot out of that appointment. It might help to work through your feelings about B's birth with someone especially if you feel it has contributed to your current difficulties. I'm here if you ever need me.

NBG Ouch that sounds very sore indeed. I do hope that you're getting plenty of help!

Outme Sounds like an interesting visit!

Very glad to hear of nice walks and appreciation of environs being had by Aprilites.

Sorry to hear about your DH Gran.

Yay for walking T . Glad the sun shone for your party Ali. I'm on all systems go to get ready for P & A's joint party on Sunday. I'd better keep this brief as tonight's task is to prepare 30 layers of pass the parcel.

Ali I missed that T was walking...wow that is big news. I'm really glad that all this is happening for our Aprilite babies whilst the weather is so good and we can have nice parties.

Hi gang!

I'm so sorry Frak, I've discovered that funeral planning can bring out the worst in families. Hope all goes ok xx

Ireland was lovely. The wedding was beautiful, mum had a nice time squidging H and being our domestic lackey

I can see why so many people have nannies, it was bliss. To be honest, returning has been a bust. The house is a shit pile, I'm tired and H is being hard work this morning. Then DH said I was being grumpy when I pointed out my greatest achievement today would be getting to the supermarket.

Tell me I'm not the only one who feels like a continual failure...

Oh frak I'm so sorry

Yay for t Ali and for b fizz

Glad you had a lovely time cycle

We are home now. S was a star. Glad I'm off all week as is dh.

So sorry to hear about your GMIL Frakk. It's hard when you have conflicting emotions about what is going on, you can end up feeling a bit shit about yourself, guilty and of course you are also grieving - it's a horrible mix. I hope things find a way of resolving themselves {{hugs}}

Hurrah for walking! Glad the party went well Ali

Did you get the 30 layers of pass the parcel wrapped Gsy? sounds like a fun way to pass a Monday night

cycle - to a stop myself from focusing on everything that I haven't done, I count the day as a success if the boys and i are happy. Sod the housework, it will be there again for me tomorrow. Of course having an untidy house does get me down at times, but I just have to remind myself that it isn't important. Plus I don't see housework as part of my day to day job. If I get things done on top of caring for the boys, then that's a bonus. I am a stay at home mum, not a stay at home cleaner.

I had a lovely surprise yesterday. I thought my sister was coming over for lunch, but Dh had secretly booked the day the day off of work and gave me a wedge of cash for us to go and blow in Cambridge. So blow it we did The weather was glorious, the shopping was fab and we went to Jamie's Italian for lunch - which was lovely,i didn't know what to expect after a few threads on here slated it.

Cycle - I hear you on the nanny front! We had my parents here all weekend and they went home yesterday afternoon. I got so much done while they were here, it was great!

I agree completely with ILike about how I rate my day. Are we all happy and fed and wearing cleanish clothes? This time of year I add spending some time outside to that list.
Anything else is a bonus, and I try to prioritise the things that make me happiest. So I have made T's birthday cake because I knew that if I ran out of time to do that I would be upset, but there is a pile of paperwork that needs attention that can wait for now.
Having said that, I do hate it when the house is a mess so I have some coping mechanisms like T going in his highchair with a cup of milk and Cbeebies on for 15 minutes so that I can get a few basics done to keep the show on the road!

OutMe - enjoy your week off together!

My baby is a year old tomorrow! This time last year I was like a whale, and very nervous about my ELCS.

Oh, why did that whole sentence come out in bold?

It's birthday time here today! I can't believe she's 1 already. I feel much better than this time last year when I'd just had 2 days in labour not being able to wee and with no sleep ending in EMCS :o We've been to soft play with friends this morning, it was quiet as it's so nice outside but better surface to crawl on than grass and twigs in the park. She's having a nap now before GPs come round later with present and then other presents will be opened when DH is home from work (she slept in too long to do it this morning).

Sometimes an achievement in the day is just getting something out of the freezer to eat! Other days I somehow manage to get a list of stuff done (those are the days of long naps!)

Hi Ladies
Can i join you but with a less happier problem....
I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl on 14.03.2012 by ECMS she was born at 36+5 happy and healthy and gaining good weight etc now. But, i seem to have gone into a state of 'depression' (cant think of what else to call it)
For the last 2 days i have felt very low and crying a lot. I feel like i am not going to be able to cope as i have a DD who is 11 months and a newborn. I have completely gone off my Dh and feel like running away instead of seeing or talking to him. Even tho he hasnt really done anything wrong apart from not supporting me the other night when i was crying and could explain why he just went off in a strop saying i shouldnt of had the 'kids' if i couldnt cope. I just took myself off to bed we havent really spoke since then, things are very awkward between us at the min the house is full of tension. Not nice when i am already feeling low. I know some of you are going to say talk to him but i cant bring myself to do so.
i told the MW how i feeling and she said it was to be expected but i just feel so low and i am constantly crying if i sit and start thinking about things.
its not helping that i had a CS and the weather is so nice, I feel trapped in my home as i cant get out and DH has gone back to work so i am on my own with the 2 babies. I didnt even get dressed yesterday i felt so dirty but i didnt care.
Can anyone suggest anything to help me feel a little bit better, i love my 2 girls but i feel so alone.
Thanks
:)

Gosh riamay, that sounds tough.

I've only got the one and sometimes I want to scream with stress so I can't imagine how haricot must be.

Definitely talk to someone, if the mw won't help perhaps talk to your GP. It could be the baby blues but it could be pnd and, even if it is baby blues, they can be horrible.

Sounds like your DH said exactly the wrong thing but perhaps he's equally stressed out. My DH and I had all kinds of arguments at the beginning because sleep deprivation and stress was so stress inducing.

Have you got any family nearby to take the 11-month-old for a bit?

Oh fabulous Ilike

Hi rimay. sounds like you are having a tough time. Try not to be too hard on yourself. I have one and one on the way. When s was born I lived in my dressing gown for weeks. Do what you need to do with the children and dong worry about anything else. I think we forget the early days. And we are hard on the ones closest to us. Talk to your gp or even hv? Maybe join a baby group and see of there are others in a similar position. As cycle says your dh may be struggling to and doesn't know what to do. I hated it being house bound after the cs and didn't start to feel normal until I could get out. You might just need a change of scenery. Hugs.

Happy Birthday MiniChilli, I can't believe our babies are having their first birthdays

Hi Ria, welcome I'm sorry if I am just going to jump in with two feet, but I don't think that I can say what I would like without being diplomatic. I basically think that your DH is being a complete arse. He should be helping and supporting you at the moment, not stropping like a child. You will need to talk to him and sort it out, if you leave it he will think that that sort of behaviour is acceptable, and it's not. It really isn't.

Except from serious illness or bereavement, you probably won't experience a harder time in your life than what you are dealing with at the moment. Please don't underestimate what a tough situation you are in (2 under one and just having had major abdominal surgery) and think that you should be able to cope.

If you can, rope family and friends in to help. Also, when you are recovered from the surgery, get out of the house as much as possible. It really doesn't matter what you look like, what matters is that you get out and socialise.

chilli - Happy Birthday to M!

rimay wow 2 under a year really does sound like hard work! Are you able to get out in the garden even, just to get some fresh air?
Do you have a double buggy? I was managing to get out pushing DS2 in the pram at about 3 weeks post-section, with DS1 (2.9 at the time) on the buggy board. But, that was after an elective, which I know (having had an EMCS with DS1) is a completely different thing in terms of recovery.
Don't be hard on yourself, and do go to your GP because that midwife sounds a bit dismissive to me.

And yes, your DH is being a complete arse. How bloody dare he speak to you like that. on your behalf.

Happy birthday mini chilli

Happy Birthday miniChilli and Happy Birthday Eve miniAli! :)
I can't believe some of our little ones are 1 either. Still six weeks until we celebrate a birthday here but crikey, where has this year gone? This time last year I was winding down at work, assembling furniture for the nursery and packing and unpacking my hospital bag!!

Hello riamay - honestly, I can't imagine how hard it must be to have two under 1. I still struggle with one, so think you deserve a medal rather than a mouthful from your DH. I'm afraid that I haven't got anything helpful to add that Ali or Ilike haven't already said, but please stick around. Sometimes it helps just to let it all out and you find you can say things online that you can't say in RL.

This glorious weather has really cheered my mood up. We had a lovely day at a nearby National Trust place earlier. Lots of roaming around, stuffing ourselves with ice cream and playing with DD. I wish every day could be sunny!

Hey all!

Hello Riamay, I haven't gotmuch useful to add either, except I am in awe at you with two under one's. You are amazing!

Well, this time last year I was being transferred to the big hospital in an ambulance, during transition. I remember asking the midwife for an epidural when we got there, and she just laughed at me! She was right though, all was fine when they unstrapped me and let me move around again!

We've got an enormous pile of presents to take upstairs in a bit.

Unfortunately I've got parents evening tomorrow, but hopefully I'll escape early enough to see F before bedtime too.

F will have a lovely day with DH and DFIL though.

Happy birthday miniChilli and T

Morning Ladies.
Thank you all for all the kind messages! I dont feel like I deserve a medal, but i wouldnt say no to a stiff drink.....(currently cant as BF :( )

My friend came over last night and i managed to chat to her whilst Dh was out and it did help. It also helped coming on here this morning and seeing the support from all of you. It has put a long a waited smile back on my face.
I am going to try and get out today even if its for a walk around the block. It is only 2 weeks since my op so trying to take it easy with the walking. Dh said this morning if i feel ok why dont i just drive.... im sure he wouldnt be saying the same if i was to have a accident and wasnt insured!
Your right starshaped coming on here to rant really helps. I do feel very alone at the min. All my friends are at work and dont have babies, im only 24.... so some are even still at uni living it up and im stuck in doors with 2 babies! and my family live miles away and my dad is working in China at the min for 3 months. So its just me myself and i. It was nice yesterday i managed to get both babies off to sleep and i was able to watch Deal or No Deal instead of NickJr! I actually thought there was a fault on the TV as Noell wasnt animated..... far too much kids tv at the min.
Well, im gonig to sign off now as little one is up for a feed so the udders are out!
Thanks again ladies, you have really made me feel positive today. I seriously cant thank you enough.
x

Also, i have uploaded some photos of the girls for you. x

Riamay - nothing wrong with a glass of vino if you are BFing