April 2011 - silence might be golden but the April ladies are diamond so chat on

[GlaikitFizzog]

Ta Dah!

I was about to type a whole post, but basically what ILike said.

You have had no end to deal with this last year, and you really mustn't feel ashamed or a failure or anything like that.

It's good that you have an HV to talk to who you like, and be honest with her about how you are feeling. I wasn't honest for a long time after DS1 was born, he was coming up to 9 months old when I was diagnosed with PND.
ADs aren't necessarily needed, or you might not want them - I will just say that they were a godsend for me because they made me feel like myself again while I dealt with the issues in the background. I also had some counselling which was brilliant at helping me put things into perspective.

Big hugs Fizz, you will get through this and come out the other side smiling :)

Hi all, I lurk but hardly post these days. Fizz, I'll grab a body part! Hope you find talking to the HV helps and really don't give yourself a hard time. This is HARD work.

If it makes you feel better, I never clean the oven, I feel guilty going to work, leaving C at nursery, enjoying work, leaving work at a reasonable time, not cooking enough, getting shitty with DH when he doesn't do what I expect... I could have written your posts. It's how YOU feel, not what goes on around you that you need to focus on. Make sure that however it works, it works for you. You are doing a fab job. good luck!

Forgot, my joke:

One snowman turns to another, "can you smell carrots?"

Too true Jo & what ILike said too.

Even if you had 'just' had a baby, with an easy birth, the first year is a huge adjustment. You start adding in other factors and it becomes a mountain to climb. But you can (& will) do it.
Try not to let your guilt feelings get in the way of just enjoying time with B.

I never clean the sodding oven! i got someone in to do it a few years ago, was bliss if a bit when she asked how long it was since i'd done it....err never!
it's having a service this week, i'm hoping they'll clean it as part of that....

Some things are important to some people, some aren't. If you used to clean your oven every week for instance and your Dad saw you hadn't cleaned your lovely brand new one for months, it would ring alarm bells for him.
If you're more normal like me then it would have been something else.

Pondering over what would be the 'thing' for me....i'm such a slattern anyway not sure if people would notice!! Though hopefully they'd see a lack of 'spark', enjoyment in life, etc. I know people told me I looked 'grey' when DS2 was ill, so perhaps my non-stop chat, interest in life around me, etc. is the thing for me to watch out for. Though it's always easier when it's someone else to see the change than in yourself.

Right, am waffling, have had haircut & patch test in preparation for hair dyeing/grey-covering in time for my 37th (eek) birthday in a couple of weeks.
£30ish for a colour, £45ish for a cut & colour so not too bad.

Oh and jokes:

What do you get when you walk under a cow?
A pat on the head.
(DS1's fave)

Why do Kerry dogs have flat faces?
Because they chase parked cars.
(I grew up in DUblin and for some totally unknown reason Dubliners pick on Kerryfolk, apols to any Kerryfolk out there)

What did the sea say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved.

Thanks for the jokes folks! I know a guy from Kerry and your joke explains a lot!!

HV called a while ago. She is coming to see me on Thursday afternoon.

Oh and my cm was excused from jury duty today so obey less thing to worry about there!

Oh arses DS has sixth disease (probably). Any advice anyone?

I had to google 6th disease. There must be something in the air with numbers because I was wondering if ds had slap cheek and found out it is also called 5th disease (as well as parvovirus)

I wonder if 6th isn't that common here, or maybe it's just not diagnosed? After a quick google, it seems the best thing to do is control his temperature. I hope ds feels better soon.

I laughed at the cow pat and snowman joke

Am watching Evita on Sky Movies, I bloody love this film and know all of the words

Like JoEW, I've been lurking and not post much of late. I wanted to pop in and bring you a or (you choose your poison) Fizz. I think you're all out of limbs for me to hold!

As everybody else has said, this is bloody hard work and there's nothing wrong with admitting it. I'm glad you've got a friendly HV and I hope that she's able to provide some support when you meet her on Thursday.

No advice on the sixth disease Frak. I'm afraid that I had to google it to even find out what it was! Hope M isn't feeling too rubbish with it though.

Ha - Xposts ILTMIMI. Glad I'm not the only one who had to google it! It's not something that I'd ever heard of either.

Fizz I'll hold a toe as long as you have hold of mine, I could have written exactly what you posted earlier. At the moment I feel like I'm plodding up a very big hill, never mind the odd bump.

Is it just me or does anyone else feel like now the babies are older they can't say "Everything is just a bit shit, I want to run away and hide (and sleep) for a bit"?

Frak I had never heard of 6th disease but having had a google it looks and sounds just like S had the other week. Once he was over the high temp he was fine.

Right, joke time. This is the camel joke, it was the joke of my high school years! I have a very good friend who as the perfect comic timing and I have never managed to tell this (or any) joke as well as he can. (I hope this doesn't offend anyone, and a apologise if it does.)

A nun and a priest are passing through the desert on a camel when the camel drops dead. They haven't enough water to walk to the next town or back to the town they've just left. As such, they resign themselves to their fate.

After a while the nun turns to the priest and says "Given that our time has come is there any last request that I could grant for you?" The priest thinks for a moment and says "Well, umm, I've never seen a woman naked...". So the nun strips off, he has a look and then she gets dressed.

Some time after the priest turns to the nun "You've granted my request, is there anything I can do for you?" the nun responds "Well, I've never seen a man naked..." So the priest strips naked and stands in front of the nun.

"What is that?!" asks the nun, "This, this is my penis" says the priest, "it is the giver of life!"

"Well for goodness sake" says the nun, "stick it in the back of the camel!"

Grabs.... Ummmmmm bum cheek for supportive pinch?

Don't worry Fizz, I'm sure I'm not alone when I say I sometimes get to the 'shutupshutupshutup' stage when H is fussing and grizzly. I try to keep it in then I feel awful when I hiss it at him but I have come to the realisation that no one is perfect and it doesn't mean I don't love him. Nor does it mean I'm a bad mother, I just need sleep!

Ok, so joke...

Fish swims into a wall...dam!

What did the policeman say to his chest? You're under avest!

Hahahahaha, a friend just sent me this My new pink button

Labia dye anyone?

OMG is your friend an MNer? Becasue there was a thread about that on here earlier!

Eurgh is all I have to say about it!

Here's the thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/1396217-Never-mind-toothpaste-bum-bleaching

I think it's become a FB phenomenon. My favourite bit is the comments under the listing...

Yet another disgusting example of how women are made to feel ashamed about their bits. Sigh....

Enough with the serious! Last night DH talked in his sleep again (we bit do it a lot), this time he laughed and said 'You dirty bastard!', chuckled then said 'ok, arms up', put his arms bolt upright in the bed then went back to sleep

Thanks for making me cycle, i've had a bit of a shit 12 hours or so.
I took my mum to see cliff at the O2 in October, and we bumped into my ex fiancees dad and his wife. My ex and i parted friends, we were only young (21 when split) and just werent meant to be. So when he told me my ex was going to be a dad i emailed him (we email every now and then) and sent my congrats. i emailed him yest to ask for an update as his daughter was due in November, and he replied straight away. Sadly she didnt make it . I dont know the details. But i just feel so absolutely awful for him. You see his younger sister died of cancer when she was about 12. And his stepbrother (who was a twin) died in a motorcycle accident when he was 26. His email said 'how's my luck eh. My sister, my brother and now my daughter'. I cant even begin to imagine how him and his wife are feeling.
And S isnt sleeping. The night before he woke 2 hourly til 2 then slept til 5.15. We had to tag team to get ready for work. Then last night he slept 8.45-10.45 then woke hourly all night. I bought him in with us at 4 so i could get some rest but he is such a fidget.
I spoke to MIL about changing his diet Monday night. I want him to start eating proper food, and she said to experiment and let her know. I said she was welcome to too, as she also looks after DN. I have asked DH to see what they have been feeding him as i suspect he could be hungry. If it's not that poss more teeth poss a cold on its way. I didnt cope with it very well last night cos my mind and hormones were all over the place and i think DH has the hump with me but i couldnt explain why

Sorry a bit belated Fizz but hugs from me and R too :)
I agree with what many people have said, having a baby is bloody hard going, regardless of how easy/difficult your pregnancy/labour etc was. I've certainly found it very hard work and have had to make major adjustments. It has affected my relationship with DP in ways I'd never imagined, think my expectations of newborns, motherhood etc were a bit high and I came down with a bump! Doesn't help when you have other factors to deal with - family members being ill and passing away in your case, DP losing his job on numerous occasions in mine. I just felt really annoyed that all these shitty things kept happening and were ruining my lovely rose tinted vision of how R's life should be!! Then I gave myself a shake and remembered that shit does happen and you just have to get on with it!

Dairy I'm joining you with plodding on at the mo and totally agree that I still would like to run away and hide at times because even though R is no longer a tiny non-sleeping, feeding machine, she can still be hard work!! She seems to have become a grizzly, whining monster recently, think she's teething again and is also learning new things and can nearly crawl, so I know it will pass.

Frakk I'm also having to google 6th disease and I'm a nurse!! Hope M feels better soon.

Jo The snowman joke is one of my DPs favourites :)

OutMe That's awful for your ex :(

Cycle Gads at the pink button < sick face!

Well today is my last day of ML back to work tomorrow, I'm not sure my brain can cope with the new organisational skills it's going to have to master in order to tackle this logistical nightmare!! Having to juggle work, childcare, transport, DPs work, having DSS, the list goes on, just thinking about it is freaking me out! Am sure after a week of two it will have become second nature but blaaaaaah!! I just want to be a SAHM!! Actually that's not strictly true, I'm looking forward to going back to being "normal me" for a bit!!

R can now clap and thinks it's great to clap at anything and everything! Crawling isn't far off either and I'm terrified that she'll do it when I'm not there so I'll miss it!

Just realised what i've done. how do I get rid of that post? I'm so sorry.

Hi all,

Sorry, got confused about names!

Outme, that's so very sad. It's no surprise that you feel dreadful for them. I feel so lucky to have my healthy little man. Hope you get some more sleep soon. I think you asked ages ago about what our LO's eat. C eats quite a lot now, he'll have a whole weetabix for breakfast and some fruit. Lunch is usually a bowl of mushy food, pasta or one of the stage two packets, if I'm being slummy mummy. He'll have a biscuit or something snacky in the afternoon, at nursery they give him fruit puree and at tea he'll have something similar to lunch. He also still have 4 bottles a day. Is everyone else still doing as many milk feeds? He doesn't feed at night.

I don't know what colour my labia is! What if it looks old?? Actually, it would be nice if my face looked pink and perky for once, not grey and tired. Never mind my lady bits.

Cycle, I love tales of sleeptalking. Suitably random.

Frak another one who has never heard of it. Hope M is on the mend.

Fizz, I can't think of anything very helpful to say, so have a hug. It's perfectly understandable to not want the world and his wife to know that you are having a tough time and your family should respect that. Like you say, you don't want people to treat you differently.

NBG good luck tomorrow. Having a cup of tea in peace is bliss!

I've just taken C to physio and she was completely happy with his development, i'm so pleased. Couldn't help have a few worries in the back of my mind.

right, I had better do some work today.

S has three bottles Jo. one in the morning, one around three and one at bedtime.

Yep, good luck tomorrow NBG i was a she bitch from hell the day before i went back to work with all the anxieties i had! But it all worked out fine :)

Good luck tomorrow NBG. Not long until I'm back now either. Eeek...

JoEW I'm BF so I've not got any idea how much milk P actually takes but she's dropped down to 3 or 4 feeds now (3 in the day time - only 4 if she wake up during the night).