April 2011 - silence might be golden but the April ladies are diamond so chat on

[GlaikitFizzog]

Ta Dah!

this thread I was on (old name back then)

I'm watching Murray too!! I have cleaned the kitchen though since my last post! I took some of my SPD codiene. That seems to have worked!

Good idea Fizz - i'm not one for being in pain if I have a painkiller handy.

Have you got snow?

Looks like Murray is hanging in there...

You know when you think things can't get any worse?... then they do :( 2 wake ups before midnight, then awake midnight til 2am with an hour and a half of feeding interspersed with screaming. 3 hours sleep then another 40 minutes feed at 5am.
I still took her swimming this morning hoping it would encourage a long nap.

At least she ate some lunch :)

No snow here yet, but I think it's coming! It's actually quite nice here. Clear and crisp!

Chilli that is rubbish. Maybe try grab some zzzzs while she does? Sod any housework you have to do.

I was going to make DH a birthday cake (birthday was yesterday, but he has had a cake from his mum which he took into work). I know if i tried to sleep her nap would be 30 minutes, as it is she's been an hour and a half and counting. I've put the breadmaker on for pizza dough but other than that I'm taking it easy - I really need to stay in the room as she's on our bed and I obviously don't want her to wake and crawl off. So more mumsnet... :)

OutMe A bit late, but a Huge congrats, im soooo excited for you, hows things going ? have you told any one in RL yet ? I cant wait to re-start thinking of names again !! Make sure you give us all the updates so we can share in the excitement !

Fizz My nickname is Monica too !!(im assuming your mums is also because of friends) DP is forever saying it, ive started my lists for when i go away and i check mark them with a "Tick" ha ha

Cycle Hope today has been a better day today !

NotBobbysGirl My new boss(she's been my boss for about 2 years now) is horrible too !! Was crap during my pregnancy, you may remember me bitching about my last week at work worked until 3 days before due date and wouldnt let me leave early for the last week !! She was based at another office but my office has closed while ive been on ML so now going to be based at the same office as her. Pooooo, at least they have agreed to my new part time days after a bit of coaxing !

Ali Hope something bettter turns up for your DH

Punchthosecalories Hope your feeling ok & if ya wanna vent, do it here, sometimes just writing it all out just helps.

Ok, sorry if i missed anyone ! Well I know most people this would be old news but its taken me awhile, have finally DTD !! Yes, the 1st time since DI arrived, firstly i wasnt in the mood, then we werent getting on great, but things have been really good with DP & I and it was really good, be it a little fast, but Goooood !! (TMI) Might even do it again soon !! he he

My Oz trip is next Sunday, im sooo excited and super nervous about the 24hour flight with a 9month old ! Am I crazy to consider bringing cloth diapers for the flight ? My reasoning is, she never leaks through, they will probably last a bit longer (her night nappy is on for 12hours overnight & never leaks) Ill using disposable liners so nappys should only have pee on them, which ill rinse in sink and ring dry before putting in my WN wet nappy bag so shouldnt be smelly. Loads of people have mentioned leaking through disposables so you need to bring loads of outfit changes anyway. Plus i was gonna bring them in those rollable vacuum bags to reduce the space they take up. Opnions ??

DI's 2nd tooth has come today, well the corner of it, she has started giving me kisses, she opens her mouth and goes "arrrrrrrrr" and plants one on me, its sooooo nice. We still have no crawling, just backwards wriggling which she does super fast, ya cant leave her ! Youll find her backed up into some corner ! No words just this really high pitched "arrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhh" very loud, long & constant and some throaty "grrrrrrr's" Her lips move like a word is forming but never makes one, we did have a "ba, ba" once !! but not since. I really want to hear a ma, ma, ma !!

Anyway, hope everyones having a great weekend, next time i write, it might be from my beautiful, sunny, Sydney !! woo hoo !!

Aussie yes you are crazy. It's the last thing you want to be faffing with and I say this as a diehard clother. Best way to prevent sposies leaking is to put a Motherease wrap or BGflip shell on top. Never failed yet.

Aussie I agree with Frak - do NOT go there with cloth on the flight, honestly. Disposables with a wrap are the most bomb-proof thing, but you should find disposables ok now that DI is a bit older and her poo not so runny. Good luck!

Chilli I really hope you get some better nights. We had a bit of a shocker with T last night, he went down just before 8pm and slept until just after midnight, and from then on he was in with us. He was sleeping fine until we tried to move him back to his cot, and then he would wake up. So DH and I were stiff as boards this morning from taking turns to hold him. Hoping for better tonight...

Thanks Ali, better night last night - with a 4 and a half hour stretch. She ate and napped well yesterday - I think that has something to do with it. Today's been good with food, but I just accidentally woke her from a nap, though it was getting a bit late for napping. Fingers crossed for tonight.

Dh and I are at the cinema! Monica and dad are sitting for us! Then we are going for a pizza! Whoop!!

Enjoy your time in Oz. Gawd I could do with an injection of sunshine. Just to add to everyone's comments about the nappies. I don't use cloth at all, but I have heard that the pressure in the cabin can cause havoc with lo's bowels, and poo explosions are not uncommon.

What are you watching Fizz? Enjoy your night out and your pizza.

I had my hair cut and my grey hairs dyed today. To complete my transformation I have painted my toes and finger nails. I'm sure I haven't painted my nails since ds was born

Wow ILike - I'm impressed I am seriously thinking about dyeing my greys, is it the first time you've had it done? How much did it cost? How often will you have to do it? I can't see myself going to the hairdressers every 6 weeks if that's what's needed.
Might try a grey-covering home dye instead. (not that I'll get round to that every few weeks either but it'll be a cheaper experiment!)

Aussie - have a fab trip, i don't envy you the flight though I think you'll find the 9month old trip easier that one in a couple of years...I personally wouldn't go with cloth on an aeroplane either but then i'm lazy though we did take our bucket & cloth nappies to Normandy with DS1 once

DH has lit the fire, it's lovely but too hot! We actually got out in the garden today, seems mad when lots of you are having snow.

I have my hair done every 8 weeks, otherwise my grey hairs get out of hand! I have a cut, colour and highlights and it costs £50, which is very cheap. There is a lady in our village who has set up a salon in her house. She is a good cutter and a great colourist. When I had the same done in a 'proper' salon it was twice the price, which meant I couldn't have it done as often as it needed to be done.

I did used to home dye, and the coverage was ok, but I couldn't compare it to having it done professionally. Also having the highlights keep my hair looking multi tonal, rather than one block colour. I also adjust my base colour and highlights depending on the time of year and whether I have a tanned face or not.

I have been playing Scrabble on FB with my nephew ............... and he beat me. He is 11

We went to see the decendents. it was really good. George wasn't looking at his best but you could still see it was there!! Pizza was heavenly! It was like a date!!

I home colour my hair but its flat colour now and it fades on my greys quite quickly so I'm getting fine highlights next time I go to my Hairdresser and a lighter base colour. I think it will be about £50 too at my little village Hairdresser. I have spent. 3 times that before on my hair. one day I'll go grey gracefully but I'm not ready for that yet!!

Have a great time Aussie and thanks. If it's a girl it's the same name we would have used last time. Isabella. Currently middle name is mia. If it's a boy we have no clue! People dh knows I've told r a friend at work and a friend that stayed yest. I've also told my sil and another friend.

I just home coloured my hair today. Greys were terrible.

Sure I wanted to say other stuff but can't remember or scroll on my phone.

So it appears when DH & I went to the cinema on Saturdya, my parents took it as their opportunity to snoop round my house and discuss how untidy it was. My dad has juys phoned with a list of things that I hadn't done. Thing he's upset about most is I haven't cleaned my oven. Fucking oven! I am so upset. I know I'm not a neat freak like my mum, and I know it gets on her nerves, but FFS cleaning my, brand new BTW in november, oven, that's meant to be self cleaning, isn;t at the top of my list right now. If they think they'll be comeing to stay here again they can fuck right off. How dare they come into MY house and do that. There is always something for them to "mention" because they "care". Its usually my weight, but last time I told my mum to never mention it again or I would stop talking to her. So this is the new thing to pick on. The house isn't unclean, it is untidy, but a mimimalist house is cluttered to my mum. She even mentioned all the photo frames I have on the shelves with photos of B and various dead relatives as "dust gatherers".

I am 30 years old, married with a child, when do I stop being a child to them?

Jaysus fizz that is totally out of order. Have a BIG HUG. They had no right to do that. It's entirely up to you how you live (which sounds the same as me except my oven has no excuse)

I had the same problem with my mum re weight too. I didnt talk to her for months and she was ill at the time. When we did talk i had it out with her. She makes the odd 'im not allowed to mention your weight' comment which is much the same as mentioning it eh!. Massive grrrrrs on your behalf

I don't think you ever stop being a child to them tbh.

My mum's 'thing' is constantly worrying about our finances - which are fine btw, but it's none of her business. In my mum's case it is her projecting her fears on to me. Things were extremely tight when she was a child and she has a fear of being poor. All she ever talks about is money. How much she has made, what their pension forecasts are etc etc. But then saying that she is generous with her money.

I think what I am trying to say is, it sounds like it is more their problem than yours. Does that make sense?

I have had my oven for a year and it has never been cleaned

Fizz I know just where you are coming from. I don't have issues around my house, because I'm much more bothered about dirt than my Mum is, but my weight is another matter altogether. My parents are so much part of the problem with my relationship with food and my weight, that I just can't talk to them about it because I will end up reeling off a massive list of all the times they upset me when I was a teen - and actually not overweight I now realise looking back! - and that will just cause such a meltdown I can't cope with it. I have had counselling about it and am considering more.

Mine are a bit on our case atm because of DH's lack of job. We are fine for money for a good few months, and he is looking at this as an opportunity to do something different and more lucrative - but more risky because he will be self-employed. My Mum is having kittens 'what about your pension' is her constant cry, and I have pointed out in stiff terms that what you get from a company these days is nothing like what she and Dad have from the NHS (final salary, very generous). She is doing my head in, and ironically sounding exactly like her own father who used to upset her hugely by interfering and treating her like a child when she was 50...

God sorry for the rant and total hijack Anyway, that is bang of out order for them to snoop in your house - does your Dad feel entitled because he put the kitchen in? ((hugs)) It is horrible, but I have noticed that since I've had the boys I've learned to stand up for myself a bit more.

Ali, thats exactly it I think. That and the fact he won't let us give him any money either for it. We have the money as we'd been saving to do it for years and my grandad left me something too. I don't want to be beholden to them, because then they will always have the moral high ground. I feel like just transferring the money to them.

Re the weight its exactly the same as you too. I remember distinctly being told to lose my puppy fat when I was about 10 or 11. My mum was and still is constantly on a diet and she is fine, a size 14 at most. It used to be, "you'll never get a boyfriend if you are fat" then whenI met DH it was "He'll not want to marry a fatty", then "you don;t want to be a fat bride" and then "you won't be able to have children if you are fat" Her last gem was that my SPD was caused by my weight.

I don't know if my mum knows my dad called, he said he just wanted it between me and him and that he didn't want to upset me. I really want to fire off an email putting down everything, how I feel, how they make me feel etc, but I know that will be a huge masive argument that I just can't have right now. They love B so much and are so good with him and to him, to stop talking to them right now would stop all that. Although it's the way to hurt them most, I can't do that.

No you can't, and tbh I don't think it helps really. Occasionally I think 'oh fuck the pair of you we won't see you', but actually it would be cutting off my nose because most of the time we have a lovely time with them and they adore the boys, and are actually very supportive in lots of ways. It is just occasionally that they get right up my nose.

Yes my Mum did that 'well you know that being overweight won't help you conceive, don't you'. Raaahhh.
I'm actually losing weight atm, but I don't talk to my parents about it and I'm quite frosty at accepting their compliments about it, because I don't want them to think that I'm doing it because they've told me to! Which I am aware is v.childish.

I got that to re wedding fizz my bm's were tall and slim. Grrr. You can choose your friends... get it all out on here and bite your tongue there! It's still not on tho.

Fizz That sounds awful. It's horrid when folk you trust project their own concerns on you and cause you hurt. I grew up with my gran and Dad saying things about my weight (my dad still does, quite hurtful public comments) when I was at primary school I remember "dieting" to go down a hole on my school white summer belt when in reality I was quite a skinny child. My gran died taller than me and just over 5 stone :( This business of weight and a spotless house being the ever lasting problem is projection, nothing more. I'd be angry and feel upset too in your shoes. The shame they are making you feel is not for you to take on, as it's nothing to do with you, it's their own perceived problems being projected onto you. It sounds to me like (and in pictures I've ever seen of your place) that you have a lovely home. Your Dad saying "let's keep this topic between us as I don't want to hurt your feelings" strikes me as him not wanting to bring your Mum and DH into it, by saying that he knows that he shouldn't even be saying those things. Sigh. Parents can be bloody complicated and hurtful eh? Have a cup of tea and later if you feel like putting a well thought out email together to them which you wont regret, maybe saying something along the lines of "Did you mean for your opinion of my home to be so hurtful?" and "I suggest that unless I have a messy house worthy of calling social services that you keep critical comments to yourself and trust that you have raised a woman who can be trusted to run her own life" and "we could all be critical of each other in the military white glove test kind of way but really it's not terribly helpful and only pushes us apart, which I dont want". Ali I feel you situation with your parents too. FWIW I don't think it's childish to not be gushing over their compliments about you losing weight. I think that it is a self defence mechanism of you maintaining that it is not a topic you want them to discuss which perhaps you need until you are ready. Outme blinking parents and their sneaky ways of still sniping :(

Aww Fizz Hugs from me as well, how awful for you, I would be furious if my parents had done that to me!! What right do they have?!! My oven has been cleaned about once in 2 years if that makes you feel any better and even then it wasn't by me My mum would have no room to speak about house cleanliness etc etc as hers is a midden anyway. Not dirty as such just v. cluttered!

My dad is obsessed by finances too ILTMI and used to be on my case 24/7 about money probably because he's had to bail me out a few times in the past but he's not so bad these days as I seem to have taken over with my own obsessiveness!!

Well since we're ranting about parents can I have a moan about my MIL!? She has f*ed me right off DP and I went for a night out on Saturday in Aberdeen with his sisters for ones birthday, we asked MIL to babysit as we were staying away overnight and she was going to stay at ours. It was DSS's birthday party on the Saturday too so we went there first and then basically dropped R and MIL off at ours then left. Before going I was trying to tell MIL about meal times, feeds, bath time etc as she doesn't look after R very often and she was just totally disinterested! I'd written a list anyway and stuck it to the fridge so was hopefully she'd just refer to that if she wasn't sure about anything. When we came back the next day she said that R had had a massive tantrum at tea time the night before and refused to eat anything (she has been known to do this before but you can usually calm her down and start again) She's apprently never met a baby with such a terrible temper on her in all her life (and she's had 4 of her own don't you know) R seemingly woke 3 times in the night crying (unheard of) but slept til 9am amd gave grandma a long lie (bullshit!!) We got home at bang on 12noon an fully expected R in her high chair having lunch, which according to my list should have been cheese on toast, fruit and a yogurt. She wasn't in the high chair and she wasn't eating anything. I enquired as to what she'd had for lunch and was told "she wolfed down 2 yogurts" I left it at that but when I discovered the evening meal hadn't been touched from the night before I asked again about lunch and again 2 yogurts was mentioned and then half a slice of toast was thrown in as an after thought. So basically from 4pm on Saturday til lunchtime on Sunday all my child was given to eat was 2 petit filous and half a weetabix I was totally raging, does she not realise that R eats 3 full meals a day on top of her milk???? I think my list might have given the game away, no?? I know R can be difficult at times but even so. MIL then proceeded to take her for a walk to the shop and came back with R eating a bag of crisps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I nearly blew my top but just took the bag off her and said "that's plenty" I can hardly start ranting about crisps when DP had given her a few mini cheddars at DSS's party the day before! Ugh she totally infuriates me, se has no idea about what a healthy diet is and think I'm snobby because I feed R organic things and because I don't want her eating sweets and crisps!!!!! AIBU to think she;'s a complete moron!??? On top of that she is potentially looking after R on a Thursday overnight when I'm working but if that's the case I'm going to have to speak to her about food etc and make sure she bloody listens......she is one of the most pig headed unreasonable people I have ever met, so that could be fun.

Ok rant over