October 2011 - our happy, chatty babies!

[GroovyRach]

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Edward I've meaning to say for ages that I was over the moon at your news regarding DH. I hope things continue to look up for you :)

DD wasn't a sucky baby, didn't stop her being a fussy baby I find I only get stressed about her food because of what other people think (and in the case of ILs actually attempt to force feed her), it all makes sense to me and we're happy with it, it's just when other people interfere. Same with DS's sleep, it doesn't bother me but having to deflect people's questions or being forced to give detailed answers/justify things etc. I'd say I'm a firm middle line between comforting and tough mummies, e.g. we had to leave DD to cry it out to sleep as any interaction continues to overstimulate. We didn't do until around a year and it was hard to accept that this resulted in the best for her, but we were led by her. Of course, I can tell when she needs us, but I think she's always needed a cry before sleep (she does must times take herself off quietly now). Anyway a long winded way of saying, you may set out on one path but be prepared to follow another and be adaptable.

Penguin why do your IL try and force feed your DD?!

Also on things been meaning to say for ages Groovy have you heard from DD's dad recently and have you had any luck with milk supply?

I typed a big reply but I don't know why. The get obsessed with sleep/feeding/weight/how she walks and finding a way to worry. Upshot is, I can't trust them with food and DD so they can't spend long periods of time with her. Was the same with sleep but she's got a good easy to follow pattern now. DD didn't eat porridge for over a month once because MIL forced some down her. I had put the bowl down and she picked it up as I turned around (yes most of the time when we're there she literally stands next to us as we fed her). They thought we should see a pediatrician because she wasn't sleeping through and they think the same with DS. Crazy people.

I'm learning to assert power over them though. Let them get away with it as I felt guilty about moving away, so figure it's going to take a while to set the rules. So please don't let things pass e.g. PIL taking crying baby and not giving it back under a passive aggressive front of helping you otherwise you'd end up where we are.

ok concurrent skying with DM over latest family fiasco is over so off to bed for me.

bb3 so sorry to hear about your ds. wishing him a speedy recovery and hopefully you will all be home very soon :)

littlepebble yeah things are non existant with S dad. He got in touch just before xmas saying how he was sorry for not showing up that afternoon when he said he would and understands how pissed off i was but he would like to come and see her to give a gift and for us to talk. i said back to him that i didnt want to hear from him again until he grows the f**k up and stops messing us around cos im not standing for it anymore. this was on the 17th dec. nothing since then . im past caring now. i dont want anything from him. ive proven to him and more importantly myself that i can manage just fine without his help. ive also deleted him from fb, i dont think he should get to see her in photos when he cant even be bothered his backside to visit hher in person. she is now 13 1/2 weeks old and he has seen her twice. says it all really! the last time i seen him at the end of nov, he gave me a bag of clothes that he had bought through the summer for her. some lovely little things but of course, perfect for the summer not coming into winter and all size newborn... so i took them all back to shop today and got almost £30 to spend on new things for her. she doesnt need any clothes for now so got lots of tops and a pair of jeans for this time next year! shop had a huge sale on to, so it worked out well!
with the milk thing.. yeah i tried but it just wasnt happening like i had hoped. then the time that i had spent 2 days expressing an oz only to knock it over just kinda hit it on the head for me. i think i needed to try it just once more in order to put my demons to bed over the feeling of guilt. i am more than happy that she got my milk to start with, but she is thriving on the formula and thats all that matters i guess! thanks for remembering tho!

Engelsmeisje do you mind me asking, your in holland right? anywhere near amsterdam or do you know the city well? i ask as me and 3 friends are heading over for a weekend in feb for one friends hen night/weekend! needing a cheap(ish) but decent hotel if there is anything you can recommend? we arrive at the IJmuiden ferry terminal (if thats any help) but really we would like to be central. thanks :)

bb3 sorry to hear about ur ds Hope he's better soon and twins/milk supply are ok.
Yes wind damage in Glasgow was terrible went to visit my mum today and a 6/7 foot wall around a graveyard was blown downit was shocking I'll see if I can post a pic on FB was unbelievable!

BB3 you must be worn off your feet :( I hope DS is feeling a little better today and he can come home hopefully tomorrow.

Groovy it is shocking that he has only seen her twice since she was born, I cannot imagine not seeing P now she is here. She makes me want to adopt aswell after watching Panorama the other week. It sounds like he is not worth wasting your energy on and worrying about though, you are doing the right thing by getting on with things yourself. Good that you can afford to be independent of him. I have a bit of a weird obsession about girls being independent! I feel very strongly about it so good help P if ever tries to rely on anyone.

Had a 3.5 hour sleep stretch last night. Luxury! :)

Thanks for your post Scheh That's exactly how I feel - wanting to support him, but at the same time annoyed that he's not able to support me more, and then guilty that I feel that way.

Groovy Am only an hour and a half from A*dam...but then NL is pretty small! Don't know it very well (haven't stayed there since an interail trip when I was 20) so can't really recommend anywhere to stay. Public transport is pretty good, so if you end up not right in the centre then check if a hotel is on a tram/bus line.

can't give any advice on comforters Scheh. M very occasionally has a dummy before he nods off but normally he's awake when I put him in bed and is away by the time I've walked back downstairs.

Like someone else said above, all babies are different. M was only waking once every night but has been a bit less settled this week. I'm so tired that actually can't remember if I got up with him once or twice last week..wondering if I dreamed the 5.45 feed!

Penguin my MIL is slightly obsessed with the fact that M does not sleep through the night (I also mentioned earlier that she kept loudly wondering if my milk was giving M enough nutrition). On NYE while I was adjusting the straps of my top she asked me (in front of the whole family) if I was leaking I out it down to the fact that she's Dutch (they're pretty blunt) and has also got stuck into the rose .

sassy sometimes tough love is very necessary...I'm a complete wimp so every now and then I need a proper kick up the arse (and a reality check!)

last week? I meant last night! [snooze emoticon]

Thank you all for your msgs, ds is now off oxygen and managing to support himself with a little bit of help here and there when he has a bad coughing fit so big improvements yesterday x

Also got to see girls yesterday and give them lots of squidges xx

Penguin - I think it's easier for me not to compare because I had a singleton boy and then twin girls and the girls themselves are so very different - I almost compare them to each other rather than against ds. Ds was extremely early physically (crawling at 4.5/5 months, walking at 9 months) but then he doesn't speak at 2.8. Edie is trying to pull herself up and roll over whereas Ayse-Rose is not fussed at all and just smiles at you. If you put them on their front Ayse kicks her legs like she is trying to crawl with her head stuck on the ground and Edie just lays there and looks like she is thinking 'bugger off I'm not shifting this lump anywhere!'. Ayse will also have a conversation with you in shouting gabble whereas Edie just giggles at you! so very different it's almost impossible to compare the three x that's not really helpful for you but I think it's normal to compare the two!"6

Sassy - lovely name - dh is Turkish and ds has very Turkish name (Karahan) Ayse is also Turkish but sounds a mix of both and Edith-may is obviously not Turkish x

Pacifiers - girls hate dummies but i make them take them (bad mummy).

groovy he'll regret not being in her life but it's his choice - I'll never understand people that make these choices.

Edward also great about dh, good that he decided on his own too it means he wants to do it for you all

Scheh I'm also a wimp (particularly with ds who still has me wrapped round his little finger!), I'm much stronger with the girls than i ever was with ds

and at mil and leaking comment - I'm quite lucky mine are in a different country

My family so seem very keen for me to pit girls on formula though -constantly keep saying things like 'they can always have ff' at every opportunity - - I've learned to ignore people's opinions!!

engel i wrote through instead of throw and advise instead of advice- ive stopped correcting myself now or my posts would double!

groovy sorry about your ex being a dumb ass over his daughter. i cant believe that anyone would want to miss out on seeing their kids. eva slept for bloody ages yesterday daytime and i had withdrawal symptoms. i had to selfishly go and wake her up, using my milk supply as the reason.

pebble ha. i'll remember you said that and i'll feel free to be a big bitch with my advice!!

penguin very at the force feeding! does she not like kids?! i get on really really well with my mil, but i still wouldnt leave the babies with her. she seems to have no concept of safety- ive caugt isobel sucking her lighter, she puts open cans of pop, beer, and her cigs on the floor. gives them chocolate and pasties at a very young age and lets them suck on her keys and mobile, that must have a trillion germs on them. THEY HAVE TOYS! Argh. i just move them all the time but she still does it.
its just resulted in me not letting her look after them. she has had them once for 2/3 hours at my house (where i know its baby proof) while we went to dp's nans funeral, when there was absolutely no one else available and i panicked the whole time.

bb3 glad your ds is improving. you amaze me with your posts. you always sound so upbeat and breezy. i' d be an absolute stressed out, sobbing wreck. you must have a good support system. x

Sassy everyone always says that to me but it's just the way I cope with things (ignoring it and filling my day with things to occupy myself!) I do eventually crack -normally when kids are in bed and dh has to deal with my sobbing mess!!! But I like to keep busy and basically ignore things

I did cry this morning though kara had a good night and must have forgotten where he was. He's petrified of hospitals and drs and he woke up, realised he was still here and started sobbing his little heart out which started me off x x

Your poor.boy bb3 :(

Oh I'll happily join in the mil hating! Mine is lovely, but never EVER shuts up, constantly giving crap advice; Luke telling me to give him weetabix at 12 weeks. She claims to have bf her two, then goes on about having given them bottles.

I love my MIL she does more for me than my own mum, but she's the same with crap advice and has trouble biting her Tongue at times. She once told me I was gonna make the kids sick because of dampness, this was because I dared to hang wet clothes on a clothes airer inside the house and on radiators I have a small house and no space for a dryer! How else can I dry clothes FFS!

Everyone's parents in law stories are making me laugh! Lol. I just have my mum and gran, but they dont usually say much.. Think they know that I'll do what I want anyway!

Thanks all for ur comments/support with S dad. He is a fool and I hope he does kick himself in months/year to come that he missed out on so much. I went out with friends a few nights before Xmas but after a few hrs I was missing her so much . It took me a while for that bond to come through.. But I can honestly say now that I would go to the end of the earth for her. I think children are the true meaning of love. God, getting soppy again!

Taking S down to be weighed in a few hrs. Been about a month now so curious to see what she is now. Last time was 10lbs2oz, I'm gonna guess 12lbs something. Little chunker

Right, I'm starting today, no more using the boob to get to.sleep, hving proper nap times upstairs in his cot.

I just fought with him to get him to.sleep now, he wanted boob but as soon as I realised it was for comfort I took him off and then had to rock, put down, pick up + rock, put down process about 10 times,.but it worked.and he's now asleep! Joy!

Groov, you think 12lbs is bad, Cyrus is getting.weighed tomorrow and I'm expecting him to be 15+! Well into 3-6 month clothes now

Sucking a lighter Sassy!! What the hell!! No wonder you don't trust her

Engels rubbish over your birthday, sending birthday and hoping your DH feels guilty now ;)

Yet again today I have received a gift piece of shit from my Gran. FFS she says it cost £3 for this piece of Tommee Tipee (or however you spell it) material which I am never going to use.

Also between MIL, my Mum and my Gran they all keep printing off photographs and sending them to each other and then trying to send us copies too. Even though why the hell would we want copies when we took the bloody pictures and we have them on our computer and if we wanted to could print them off anyway, rather than they keep going to the photo shop and paying for printing them off.

Scheh Weetabix!!?? I think "in the old days" they didn't actually bf (my Gran's era) because my Mum told me she had said to her the other day that she wondered if P was hungry because I was feeding her (that'll be yes then) but that she probably needed ff as she probably needed more food then. I wouldn't mind she probably only fed for about 10 minutes poor baby. There is no way I will leave P will my Gran, my Mum says she used to feed her sugar butties AND my Gran whitters on about Gripe Water. I don't know what it is but I always want to wretch when she mentions in - feel sick typing it actually :)

Gripe water is good for getting up wind, has a very odd smell tho..

Oh yes, you mix the.weetabix in with the milk and cut a bigger hole in the teat for it to pass through apparently...

Reading the things that some of you are going/have been through makes me realise I am a very lucky lady and need to give myself a good kick up the bum sometimes when I moan about relatively nothing!

Glad DS is on the mend BB3, hope he gets better very quickly so you can go home to your girls.

My mum and MIL have both been pretty good so far. I sometimes think that they are bursting to comment on something but keeping it to themselves but maybe I'm just being paranoid. My mum did pull a face when I was talking about baby led weaning so I'll look forward to that!

HE IS ASLEEP IN HIS COT WITH A DUMMY! miracles do happen!

Well, he's woken now, but he managed to suck the dummy for the first time. Perseverance pays!

Mrsp- my mil is against baby led weaning too. Child of the seventies I guess, its all about processed, fake 'inventions' -formula, angel delight and plastic flooring....

BB3 goo to hear your DS is feeling a bit better, hope he continues to improve.

Think I must have got lucky with my MIL she's lovely and actually goes out of her way to make sure she doesn't tread on my toes, always asks before she buys W anything and has never taken him from me or picked him up without me offering although she clearly wants to cuddle him. Actually hoping she might relax a little as he gets older and she learns a bit more about how we parent.