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September 05 - lots of smiles

474 replies

milward · 04/01/2006 13:18

Here it is!!

Pcircus - hope your appointment goes well.

Mummyhill - wish I could help out. Happens to me as well.

ds is getting his first tooth as well. Just needs to come through the gum.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
beatie · 02/02/2006 09:23

Wabbitintheheadlamps ~ I'm so sorry to hear your sad news. Men can be such shits. I wish there was something I could do. What's going to happen now? Is (not so)DP sorry? Has he decided to stay with the other woman? How can men do these things to their children?

I'm Catting you! Look out for my email.

mummyhill · 02/02/2006 09:26

You can have real hugs, tea and sympathy if you need them on the 17th

beatie · 02/02/2006 09:54

Good news ~ Alice only woke up once last night. She has been getting progressively better. Do you think this is a turning point or a fluke?

Simplyred · 02/02/2006 10:11

Morning xxx
Definate turning point Beatie.

Feeling down - its the time of year - and sadly I know of too many relationship breakups.

You may recall my moral dilema I said I might have! A good friend asked me to sell her engagement ring on e-bay (after her relationship ended just after christmas) I was wary as the ring does not look real to me - very large diamond (or reported to be) As there is no way I could sell a fake - I took it to a jeweller to get the professional verdit. The good news is it is real - and thankfully I do not have to tell me friend that her ex is not only a low down dirty dog - but also a fakey cheapskate!!

HeyBaby · 02/02/2006 10:11

Dear All

Happy New Year to everyone. Haven't written for a while coz I have been busy busy busy!!! (That doesn't sound like the life of a new mum does it ?!*&%^!) We are planning first holiday away with DS and I have to admit I am a little nervous but I figure that you just have to bite the bullet and get the inaugural event over and done with!

Unlike Alice, my DS has done the reverse - he was sleeping through (or at least from 11pm to 5-6am) for a few weeks but this last week has gone back to waking anywhere between 2-5am (sometimes more than once!) and then again at 7-8am. I have tried giving him the dummy and holding his little hand but more often than not I have to feed him. And he isn't fooled when I try to give him cool boiled water either. Not sure what to do as at his 11pm top-up he often won't take more than 100ml.

My DH gives him his 11pm feed and call me nasty but I do sometimes feel that he would try harder to give him a bigger feed if HE was the one having to get up in the middle of the night!!!! Anyone else had that feeling??

Anyone have any advice on how to get DS to sleep through again like the good old days ...?

HeyBaby · 02/02/2006 10:28

Sorry - just had a quick read through the thread and boy there's a lot going on!

Sallie (again) and Wabbit - so sorry to hear. Hope things are working out. Can't believe SR's friend's story either. What is it with these guys? I hope this is too personal a question (if so please ignore) but do you think it is a pregnancy thing (ie. DPs not being attracted to the pregnant female body) or lack of sex (coz sex was the last thing on my mind during pregnancy and things haven't changed that much after birth - ouch!) or need for escapism from commitment/pressure of family and kids etc or what?! Sigh ... I hope it all works out for the best no matter what you decide to do ...

Nolonger.... etc - Congratulations! You are one brave woman - hat off to you!

wabbitintheheadlamps · 02/02/2006 10:39

Hello eveyone - and thank you all so much for your lovely vibes winging over here... In answer to the question as to what I'm going to do I really don't know yet. The yawning ommission from everything he's said is 'but I really want put this behind us and start afresh'

I'm just so sad. And having to put a face on for the 'rest of the world'

xx

Simplyred · 02/02/2006 10:49

Really sorry wabbitintheheadlamps - wish I could do something to make you feel better - but sadly I cant - take care xxx I could make another voodoo doll? - what do you think!?

bubbles2904 · 02/02/2006 11:12

good morning all, lo longer got broadband at home as dp has started a new business and we've had to cut all costs so i'm logging on at his office now
WABBIT, so sorry hun, if you want to talk, you can email me on [email protected], i would be glad to offer you a sympathetic ear and shoulder to cry on. Same goes for everyone else too
NOLONGER, HUGE congrats to you, df and noah. who would of thought it eh?!

well, my 1st day back at work on monday and i nearly lamped a lady. she adked what i'd had and when i told her a girl she said, and i quote, "but you already had a dd, never mind, when you try again, you may get lucky and have a ds" STUPID COW fancy saying that to me, i have 2 beautiful dds, how on earth can i be disappointed with any of them?????
MUMMYHILL, hope you're feeling much better soon xxx

Simplyred · 02/02/2006 11:45

Bubbles - people are strange! My friends mil said similar to her straight after the emmergency c-section to deliver her second son ! - what an idiot!

sarahhal · 02/02/2006 12:17

Happy New year all! Goodness, there's lots going on isn't there?

Sallie and Wabbit - hope you are both OK and hugs to you both.

NLSTM - that was quick!! Must admit I had a pang of envy as I'm having a wobbly moment at present that I'd like a third. I'm almost certain that we won't have another baby but I can get pretty tearful thinking about it. How great will it be for your two with such a small age gap!!

Heybaby - know exactly what you mean about DH just letting them have a small amount at 11.00pm - "He just wouldn't take anymore and wanted to sleep" Who wanted to sleep!!!! Fingers crossed we have cut out that late feed now as Tom slept from 7.00 til 7.00 for the last two nights now that the solids are filling up his huge huge tum!!

Hope that dreary January and February are not getting everyone too down - just think, last year at this time we were all sicker, tireder and grumpier than we are now!! ( I think!!)

PiccadillyCircus · 02/02/2006 12:55

Wabbit - so sorry for you .

There seem to be a lot of stupid men around at the moment .

I would love to meet up some time; if it is July then weekend probably best as I'll be back at work then (unless I win the lottery in the mean time).

Congratulations NLSTM . Does this mean you could have two children in the same school year?

Rhumba · 02/02/2006 13:06

Wabbit, so sorry to har your news. Sound eally tough right now so lotsof hugs coming your way.

Hey baby - Know where your coming from I used to spend about a hour expressing every last drop for DH to feed DS at 11.00 only to find half of it in the bottle the next am (oh yes and left for me to wash up!!)When I watched him his concertration was on the TV no the baby gentle falling asleep!! Gabrieele is waking much ealier and now sleeps 5-7 hours rather than up to 10 in one stretch. Just going with it at the moment as don't want to wean yet but may start giving her a few oz of formaula after her 7pm feed.

Mummy hill - hope you get the help you need this time.

Bubbles - I found when I was pregnant everyone kept saying "oh you'll want a girl this time" as I already had a son. Whilst I was delighted with my wee girl it wouldn't have bothered me in the slightest if she'd been a he and I felt quite annoyed by the assumption that I wouldn't want another! Bit envous of you being back at work, think I will go back even though about 80% of my salery will go on childcare!

Sallie · 02/02/2006 19:20

Wabbit - so sorry to hear that you, too have been horribly let down. Big, big hugs to you - hope that your darling children are being a comfort to you during this very sad time. Mine are certainly my lifeline and the moment and when I look at them I realise that I must carefully consider my options and not rush into any snap decisions about what happens to me and dh. Do you think your dp is being completely honest with you now? I still don't think my dh is. He insists that the other woman is loopy/depressed and that she thought there was (is?) a lot more going on than there was. As I said, this explanation doesn't tally with the intimate communications I found between them. I feel very cold towards him. We are still sleeping together but feel nothing and am so upset that the trust I had built up again is completely shattered. He probably knows that with three children and a huge amount of pride, I will probably stay put to make things work. Deep down I still completely love him but just how do you emerge from all this? He just refuses to talk about it now and skirts the issue. And his phone is on silent all the time (they used to text each other a lot). She must think I am a complete doormat. Grrrrr
Wabbit - do keep chatting as it really does help. The messages I have been getting here have been a real comfort. BIG HUGS and big hugs to your kids too.

wabbitintheheadlamps · 02/02/2006 22:37

Thanks Sallie - I know (reading between the lines) he's only been honest with me because the colleague was threatening to make his infidelity known at his workplace and also threatened to bring an indecent assault claim against him! (I know, she sounds completely off the rails!) She was also threatening to confront me with the 'truth'... As they're both in law enforcement - he's a detective she's a lawyer - he didn't really doubt her being able to find me (this unfortunately makes me wonder how much they've discussed me and my situation... you know, my student/economically inactive status - It makes me feel worthless in 'their' terms )
SO - his telling me is not really out of concern for me, nor a gnawing sense of guilt in him. It's more a damage limitation excersise.
Yes he's telling me nearly the whole truth... I feel I can guess the rest, the time frame and his level of committment to her.

I've tried to keep the seriousness of this from dd but at 14 she's far too perceptive and has half guessed and half wheedled it out of me. She's wonderful and my tiny boy is just so precious.

Thanks for all your love and hugs everyone xx

wabbitintheheadlamps · 02/02/2006 23:31

Oh and NLaSTM - What wonderful news for you and your Df and Noah xxxxxxx

Simplyred · 03/02/2006 11:56

Morning - just!!! xxx

Nolongersingleteenagemum · 03/02/2006 12:58

heybaby - i'm afraid i'm having to disagree with you on the men and pregnancy thing. i met my df when i was eight months pregnant and VERY HORNY

Sallie · 03/02/2006 13:00

Huge congrats NLaSTM - great news. Have to say, despite all thats happening to me at the moment, I do feel a tiny bit of you. Have always loved being pregnant and would have liked to have four. DH is not keen and given he is struggling with fidelity, it would not be a good move!!

Nolongersingleteenagemum · 03/02/2006 13:07

Hugs Sallie. I want a whole football team, think df would have something to say about it though!

Wabbit - sorry about your news. I know how you feel. My ex was a b***d like that, but i think my life goes to show there is light at the end of tunnel.

RedZuleika · 03/02/2006 13:17

Hello hello.

Pooka: re the breastfeeding threads. Yes - I got sucked in to the debate surrounding that ruddy extended feeding programme on Channel 4. Which I recorded and haven't watched yet because Himself doesn't trust me not to start shouting at the television.

Regarding my parents, their attitude to the birth is part of it, although if you've perused the 'mad mother' thread in the Chat section, you'll realise that's just part of it. Their actions surrounding the birth have made me reach my tipping point - and things that happened over New Year have exacerbated things. I went to their house because I wanted them to have time to spend with their grandchild, but I just don't feel that I want to expose her to that kind of toxic environment in the long run, without some fairly major changes of attitude occurring. At the risk of being a cliche, I have found - as some pregnancy / parenting books suggest - that having a child makes you examine your own experience of parenting.

Incidentally - does anyone think that two and a half weeks is quite a long time for grandparents to wait before coming to see their only child's first child...?

Re the Gina Ford thing. Each to their own and all - but I think one can be just a bit too rigid. I met a woman the other week who saw my daughter sleeping against my chest and said that she didn't 'allow' her son (same age) to sleep on her - because she didn't want him 'developing bad habits'. ??!!??? Apparently the same child used to scream all the time. Possibly because he wanted a cuddle?? - I'm tempted to think.

NLSTM: Bloody hell. Congratulations! (Although I think I'd run screaming at the prospect of doing it all again just yet...)

Serious case of toy envy here from the dog's direction. A friend brought a Fisher Price thing at the weekend which is meant to encourage a child to crawl. All bright colours, noises and whizzbangs. AND it moves across the floor! Perfect for a terrier to chase! Much grumping when he WASN'T allowed to chase it. So the little %$"& managed to steal one of the soft creatures from her baby gym instead - which was filthy and a bit chewed by the time I found him and prised him from his jaws.

Wabbit and Sallie: so sorry to hear about your problems. Sallie - I obviously don't know your DH, but his saying that the other woman is / was loopy and depressed rang bells for me. I used to have a male friend who said this about girlfriends he was trying to finish with - when the reality is that he just hadn't communicated with them properly. Later, he told me that he couldn't finish with another woman because she was 'unstable' etc. This was when he and I were becoming romantically closer and I didn't know he was still going out with her (needed my head examined, really). It doesn't matter whether they've got some beef with a lack of sex, or a problem with the pregnant form, adultery is wrong. And such an ugly word.

beatie · 03/02/2006 15:25

RZ ~ I read the mad mother thread and I am so sorry to read about what sort of childhood you (and others) had to endure.

pooka · 03/02/2006 15:52

Me too RZ. And having your dd and loving her and knowing that you'll do anything to make her happy must be a further wake-up call to quite how destructive and negative your parents are/were. Like my having my babies and realising how hard my mother worked to make us happy and how lucky I was and how I never really appreciated her properly until now. I don't think I can ever be a better mother than her and for that I am grateful (although there's a lot to live up to!).

Simplyred · 04/02/2006 11:13

Morning!

Very down in the dumps today. Dh has worked 12 hour shifts all week - thick with cold and very fed up. Hes at work now (and doing a full 8 hour shift tomrrow)

milward · 04/02/2006 21:39

Hello All - about to grab a cup of tea & catch up on all the news xxx Here I've not been on mnet for what seems like ages!!

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