October 08 - the 3 year old thread.

[CantSleepWontSleep]

New thread just for you star!

Well, hopefully not just for you, or it could get a bit boring talking to yourself .

Thanks CSWS [hsmile]

Star I agree with CSWS it is much easier to deal with other peoples children than your own. I find the nursery children's tantrums much easier to deal with calmly than J's because they aren't my child I suppose so don't push my buttons as much.

Sometimes J has huge tantrums that neither dh or I can deal with and it is exhausting and horrible. I loose my temper easily with him which makes me feel evil and The worst one recently involved him not wanting to get dressed in his pjs so in the end after many attempts to defuse the situation and tears and shouting from me dh and I left him alone in the hall with his clothes and put the tv on in the living room so as to pretend to ignore him. The little bugger got himself dressed again in his clothes and then when he realised we were ignoring him came in for a cuddle I've found though that the same thing doesn't always work, with J sometimes ignoring works, sometimes time-out and sometimes distraction. I just try all really

As for needing a timetable for the day, I do this with J too and he talks it through a lot. I started this from an early age because he seemed to find changes in the day, e.g. stopping playing to go out, easier to accept if he had been forewarned about it. I think all children like to know what's happening don't they so I don't think it's anything to be concerned about and if it is then I should be too

Finally yay to the referral!

Lots of trick-or-treaters tonight. My SIL brought my niece over (6 months) in a pumpkin costume and she 'helped' J open the door to hand out sweets. Very cute! Such a great week off with J last week what with his bday and party etc, very to be back at work today.

Thanks, csws! :)
PP glad to hear it's similar for you.
I guess that's it. I just need to let some things go and not get so worked up when Q does these things... But sometimes, like getting dressed in the morning. It needs to be done. Q would LOVE to stay in pjs all day and wouldn't give a hoot about kids seeing him turn up in them, so I doubt that would work... So I struggle through it most mornings as he resists. It's awful.

pistachio. Sorry it's been so difficult. You have made me feel better about my own child's behaviours of late, though!
He's an angel at preschool as well
I don't understand why they hit. Why is that an instinct?

of pistachio, that's a tough day. I know exactly how you feel. Sometimes I dread having to ake them somewhere perfectly normal, like food shopping just for a few bits as the boys are so hard to control. They'll skip around, hitting each other, tripping up innocent members of the public and completely ignore threats/reasoning/bribery. Makes you feel like the worst parent in the world.
Comfort yourself with the fact that today is over, everyone is still alive
I have come down with a truly stinking cold. Borderline man-flu if truth be told .
Off to bed after dinner.

Pepper I hope you get some rest tonight.
I am now convinced that I could never handle an additional child.

The reality of having three children in all its glory. Mostly beautiful some times pure misery.
Ds is much better than he was but still pushes all my buttons. We were in WHSmith last week and he refused to stand sit walk. So I ended up screeching at him some nonsence about him being a dog and I dont like dogs. Rather crappy parenting technique I feel.
Then later he comes over and gives me a big hug with a lovely kiss and tells me he is sorry and he loves me!

Remember ladies the small monsters grow up into beautiful well rounded individuals, even if we do give the chips sometimes and let them watch too much Ben & Holly.

I love Ben and Holly! Every time Pops puts it on she says "is this your favourite?".

Been back to paed finally this afternoon. He can't tell me the extent of the allergies as he's too young but we don't need to have an egg-free house. I started ntroducing new things every 3 days but vomiting seemed to increase with the wheat so didn't introduce anything else... Paed said to resume tho. So I'm now back on soya [soy sauce woo hoo!]

Made home-made garlic breAd with Pure Mary tonight then realised I hadn't checked the Ingredients of the french stick So rang Morrisons and they said it would take 10 days to get the ingredients to me AND they don't have a list of their dairy or egg free products. It's not good, I may complain.

PND still not great, pops birthday party yesterday was a big stress and I haven't been great today. DS still a crap sleeper, I've been up since 4.45. Early night Again for me!

Excuse errors in post, Phone playing up.

Pure marg ha ha!

Why so down, myjob?

:( I'll fb.
Q has a sticker chart for doing what parents, caters and teachers tell him for a week or so. He's being so stubborn. I am not a sticker chart fan as it totally does not foster any sort of intrinsic motivation, all extrinsic, but I'm desperate. I'll let him swim in and eat chocolate if he will outgrow this phase. I love him and I enjoy him when he's being lovely (a lot of the time if I'm honest!). But this boundary pushing and stubbornness... It's horrid. I have endless patience with my students but get so frustrated when Q misbehaves and I feel awful about it.

Hi all, HMM hope P loved her birthday. I'm sorry to hear that the party was hard work though. J's was too. I get myself into this flap about it all being perfect and making the cake perfect and then don't really enjoy any of it because I'm too busy flapping.

HP any news on Q's referral and any breakthrough with going to the toilet more easily for him? I've been wondering how he was getting on. No advice for stubbornish from me I'm afraid other than sympathy and much

Myjob hope you are ok, I don't like to think of you being as you are always so happy sounding in your posts. I hope whatever it is gets better soon [illegal hug]

All ok here, J being cute and lovely most of the time, demon the rest. Dh and I struggling a bit at the mo so very up and down. I have a promotion at work for 6 months whilst a colleague is on maternity leave. Great for professional development and I'm very flattered to get it not sure how great it is going to be for my working mum guilt.

Hello, dereged and am back with an additional number. How are we all?

You deregged (and how did I not know this already?!).
Welcome back into the fold!

Sorry you are down myjob, and that you found Pop's party difficult hmm. It does sound like you are making some progress with finding things that D can eat though, which is good.
I have tonight decided that I need to test a theory that J might be egg intolerant :(. He has been really miserable and screaming for hours in the night for weeks now, and whilst we initially blamed teething, his behaviour when he wakes doesn't really suggest this at all (no pulling at ears or mouth, but rather arching his back and flinging himself back like dd used to before we discovered her milk problem). I have been eating a lot more eggs since I started slimming world (at least 2 per day) so it seems the most likely culprit if there is another intolerance. He did have some dairy himself, but that was nearly 3 weeks ago now, so I don't think it would still be causing a problem if it was that.

star - funnily enough dh and I were talking about D's behaviour only this evening, and I said that maybe we should try a reward chart for him, as he is so difficult about certain things (anything he doesn't want to do in fact!). He wails if he doesn't get his own way about bedtime (he insists on dh carrying him into his room on his shoulders, insists on '2 pages' of a book, followed by '2 pages' more etc) and keeps getting up during the night and going in to sleep with dh, wailing enough to wake me (on opposite corner of house through closed thick fire doors) if dh doesn't let him stay. It really has to stop. Need to devise what the reward system would be before we start it though. Handily I bought some weekly charts from my Phoenix trader friend recently.

Hello CSWS and Myjob
Things are okish here. DS is currently lovely although that might be because I never see him! He is a bit of a Sport Billy as he now does trampolining, football and rugby. Plus he is learning to play guitar with a friend with DH has a tutor. It makes fitting in school work and having fun rather challenging! We have discussed dropping a hobby but then we have melt downs so until it affects his school work we'll stick with it. He is a happy chappy so I have no worries about him needing time to just be a child. M is a bugger of the highest order. A stubborn, defiant, bossy, smart-arse, answering back, hilarious monster of a little madam. She has her adorable moments but life is mostly just a draining day long debate. Ask me any other day and I am sure I'd have said M is delightful but today.... gah.

Reward charts have never worked for my two. They would rather misbehave or be lazy than work to get the reward. We started pocket money for DS about three months ago. He has three jobs to complete in order to get his pocket money 1) help put the shopping away, 2) bring his school uniform down from his room on a Friday so it can be washed and 3) keep his room tidy. In three months has had earned pocket money twice. He doesn't care. The idea of trying reward charts with M is laughable, delayed gratification is not a concept M will entertain. She won't even behave during lunch in order to get a bit of flapjack. :rolls eyes:

How is everyone?
So sorry to hear you're struggling with PND again HMM.

Evening.
So your back eh M sounds a bit like W.
Star charts have never worked in my house. DD1 sort of responded but we both got bored with it.
I have found through long and hard experience that saying NO and sticking to it is far more effective than any other techniques or stuff out of books. Normally around two weeks of struggle and the small ones get the idea. Although it isnt a permanent thing. I have found that the behaviour you find really most annoying is the one that always comes back most frequently.

I witnessed Myjobs super parenting a few weeks ago and I can say she is mostly marvelous (and does a cracking lunch)

HMM remember lack of sleep makes everything so much harder. Be gentle with yourself. You have had a very hard few months.

Pistachio. No one is ever the parent they think they can be or the parent they want to be.
Dont beat yourself up. Three children under 6, a college course, husband and house to look after you have every reason to be tired and stressed.
It gets easier, I promise. You have a few years to go mind you but it does get much much easier.