Feb 2011 - The one where they all start sleeping through the night! (We hope)

[WanderingSheep]

Was hoping a positive title might bring us some good luck

delia i am exactly the same! I was always adamant that I would not have a strict routine, baby would fit in with my plans blah blah blah. Now I have discovered that a bad night usually follows and off routine day. Also, Harry needs his proper naps or he is whingy and then I get all stressed. The routine is starting to rule my life actually which I dont want, when someone invites us somewhere my first thought is "How will H get his nap?" "will I be able to feed him at the set times?" etc. I think I am becoming a bit of a bore and DH is fed up with it!

I too am back at work soon delia and I think that will help, as I wont be so obsessive about Harry. At the moment I am totally focussed on him and I dont really think it is healthy for me. Work will be a nice break!

I think you're right suzy probably going back to work will be good for me mentally, give me something else to focus on.

Actually, can I be a bit self-indulgent for a moment (as if I'm not normally LOL), I am also a bit worried that I am sinking a bit back to my blue days which I had for the first couple of months. On paper, everything is a lot easier, C is a lot easier, giggles, smiles, 'talks' etc. and we do have fun together, but yesterday and today I have just been blubbing for no reason. I feel stupid as there's really no reason, but I can't seem to help it. I suppose it could be just hormones again. As I say I have no idea where my cycle is up to at the moment so it could easiler be that. I just feel like I have had a couple of months if feeling much chirpier and like I had 'made it' through the really tough days, and I have, but why am I just randomly crying?

I think the not wanting to be bothered to do stuff in case it messes things up or is just too hard is a little like I was in the beginning as well, although I don't think I actually have the anxiety that I did then.

Sorry for blurting all that out, I feel a bit stupid talking about it in RL as I have been 'well' for a couple of months now so it's a bit unexpected and I'm really not sure what to do.

D

Hi delia didnt want to leave that post unanswered, but not sure I will be much help! I too have days when I cry for no reason, today being one of them . I seem to feel anxious about everything, when Harry cries my stomach goes into knots and I feel sick! I also find it hard to eat as my throat just closes up at most mealtimes and Im losing weight rapidly (dont hate me everyone). Writing it down it does seem like I might need help, but I also think that anxiety etc is normal for such a huge life change as having a baby. So in short, not sure of the answer, but you are not alone!

suzy I have the same situ, C sleeps better (and for longer) in her cot at home, and is just nicer and more fun if she has slept well. It's not that she won't sleep when out, I just know it's not the same really good deep sleep so she doesn't sleep for as long and is more whingey sooner as she is not as refreshed. I do think this is probably made worse by my blue-ness as I am finding myself weighing up whether an outing is 'worth it' as in worth the hassle, which I used to do when I had depression-type stuff going on pre-baby (over 10 years ago)

Have I made a (hate this phrase) 'rod for my own back'?

I long to be able to just think 'that sounds like fun' or 'yeah why not' when someone asks me to go and do something. Will that ever happen again?

D

suzy sorry cross posted with your last post, wasn't just blithely ignoring!

Sorry you're feeling like this too (and a bit more by the sounds of things). It is horrid, and I'm not very good at judging what is 'normal' and what is not. And also, when I was like this (and worse) at the beginning, I still didn't want to commit to a long course of meds if this would be a 'comes and goes' thing. I did see a (crap) Dr who gave me a prescription but I didn't ever get it filled, and am glad I didn't, as I've had a couple of months of feeling quite good. I just hadn't expected this just now so not sure what to do.

The other thing I feel now is that I have less 'right' to feel like this as people expect you to be hassled and stressed etc. in the beginning, but people start to expect you to be chilled out and doing great now.

Hmmm, it's as puzzle. Sorry you feel rubbish too. Have a 'un-mumsnetty' hug from me, sounds like we both need it.

Dx

d I'd be exactly the same as you re: pox - even if the lo had had it a month ago and defo not contagious just the sight of the scabs would bring me out in a hot sweat (prob pfb too). We need a holiday desperately too - haven't had one since our honeymoon last march and usually we do 2 a year :( I was going to book a place last week but then someone beat me to it and it was already taken . Think a change of scene can do wonders. I hope you find/book/go somewhere. I remember you had a hold planned that mil was NOT going to be invited on (contrary to your dhs ideas ) but can't remember why you now arnt going . d I know you are a bit obsessive control freakish like me - do you worry about how c's routine might go awol when you are back at work? Not trying to add pressure to you, just wondering how you are approaching it in your mind iykwim. I'm quite routiney but not to a gina ford extreme and I'm quite relaxed in general so long as alice feeds at approx certain times and sleeps when she looks tired but I wonder if I'd have better results on a strict routine, i sort of want to do that and thought the opposite of suzy - that i would be strict routiney but I always worry then about taking her out and it interfering with if i had a strict routine. Also d pnd can come on later too (not wishing to depress you further!) so don't beat yourself up and if you feel down for a while then see that gp/hv of yours. Do you think it might be pmt stuff like ledkr gets? is it at certain points of your cycle? x

Totally unrelated but when do babies start dreaming? I am sure C must be just now. She is making cute little quiet 'talky' noises but is fast asleep!

D

Suzy That tray sounds very handy, I'll be getting one ASAP. Just thought our Oyster was broken so had to borrow a buggy for buggy fit and then rush it back to shop when I should have been showering...turns out basket was trapped. I was a bit when they fixed it straight away.

ledkr You're doing well on the weight loss. I've had a few days off to celebrate birthday but after tonight's champagne dinner I'm going back on it big style!

wiggles Late morning here too. R woke at 6, then back to sleep in our bed til 8:45 making me late for the whole day. I'm taking her for a sleepover at PIL this eve and I've not even started sorting her stuff. Agh.

American Oooh, WW crisps for cheap. I need some in my life!

Reastie We have a Baby Sensory for two weeks, hope we get the space one when we're back though. Oh, and I took R to cinema...she wasn't the best behaved ever but there were plenty of babies louder than her!

Right. Better go and get R sorted for her sleepover. I'm a bit worried it'll take me so long to get her ready I won't have time to beautify myself!

ledkr BRILLIANT weight loss, good on you, very jealous.

wiggles we bought swingball and the boys are totally uninterested, glad your wasn't a total waste of money!

ponyo microsports is a class they go to which does simplified and different sports each week; football, cricket, tennis, basketball - it's good for their hand eye co-ord and they can now catch a ball! Only down side is that Ds2 has a strop every week and shows me right up

reastie (went to type angels and then remembered and deleted!) I really feel for you, M sometimes takes a while to settle and it's either wind or still hungry- is she due a growth spurt? Have you tried teething powders before her last feed? Might be worth a shot......hope it improves soon. I used to go to baby cinema, loved it. If you sit at the font you can always bring a play mat and some toys. Rest assured you won't have the only wriggler!

Ignoring the 8am-ers.....

Just went up to M is his co as he was crying, bless him he had rolled onto his front and was in a right old panic!

In other news, ds2 opened the front door while I was on the look this morning...to Jehovah Witnesses! Needless to say they won't be back for their copy of Watchtower!

The loo! Not the 'look'

reastie the hol was cancelled due to alarmingly expensive tyres, of which I needed 3 a once. We were only going to drive to our place in Austria, so it was going to be a cheapish hol anyway, but £700 on tyres wiped that out. However, we are going to my aunty's caravan in Abersoch in a few weeks so that will be nice (and no MIL!).

No idea on when in my cycle this has happened as no idea where it is at right now.

Re routines and work etc. in some ways I am panicking, but in others I am kind of feeling like it will be nice to 'wash my hands of it' for the days I am at work so to speak. Which sounds horrid, I don't mean wash my hands of Claudia, just that there will be no point in really thinking about it as I can't keep ringing nursery saying 'how many times has she rubbed her eyes? Three you say, right you need dummy and twinkle twinkle NOW!'. Also I do wake C from naps sometimes and I know MIL doesn't (even when I ask her to), so I know things might go a bit haywire. I kind of think though, that if it doesn't affect her night time sleep, I'm not going to be that bothered, but if it does, I will start being more prescriptive with my 'briefings'!

I am worried about food and weaning tho as feeding has never been easy with C and I am a bit about losing control of that.

D

Sorry Delia and Suzy I must have missed your posts. Sorry you are feeling down. I think Suzy is right though in that motherhood is such a massive life change that it's bound to have repercussions. I often have blue days and then I feel selfish because I know I should count myself lucky but motherhood can be soooo hard and so unrewarding at times (no the long haul but you kwim) you go through the same routine every day and yet it still all needs doing again the next day. Not like work where you cross something off our to do list and feel a sense of achievement! E drugging is about the baby/kids and it's hard to feel like 'you' - and the tiredness is a killer!

All I can recommend is trying to get out of the house each day, see friends when you can and if it gets worse, see your gp.

E drugging!? I am not sure what that is exactly, I meant something along the lines of 'our days are all about the kids'

Ledkr, wow on weight loss!
Reastie, can't see anything wrong with your routine, maybe limit how long she naps for? Could be she's hungry, or overfull? Noah has been s bit of a ness on an evening before when I've kept giving him food as if to say stop it woman! She might have s painful tummy? Sorry not to be much help, was hoping there would be something obvious.
Delis and Suzy, anxiety and motherhood seem to go hand in hand. I was just like you with Ben but with Noah I'm much more chilled. Could be the anti D's as realised the other day that they've made me so middle ground emotion wise I havent cried about my grampy yet.

Just reporting back about the mesh feeder...put some banana in and Harry LOVED it! he sort of bit with his gums and sucked thru the mesh, kept him occupied for about half an hour! he actually cried when the banana was all gone! Think I will try some cucumber tomorrow, that will be nice on sore gums

really as wrote another super long message to d and comp went and lost internet connection and only just got it back

40 it can't be a growth spurt as this has been going on for well over a month! She slept for over 2 hours at lunch time though and was only awake for an hour and got tired again and is asleep again - she doesn't usually sleep this much in the day - maybe we can put today down to a growth spurt

d yes I remember the tyres now - how could i forget as i was . You don't have a website and rent your austrian place out do you? I heart austria - I think we had this convo ages ago.

uh-oh, just read ems comments on limiting naps and alice seems to have slept most of the day - seriously no way i could keep her up today though - it was eye rubbing and yawn central. must be that tiring trip into space this morning

suzy great re: mesh feeder - bet we'll all end out buying one now

Only other thing I can think of then reastie is the teething powders is to take her out of her room when she starts yelling, distract her and start over again - I noticed that M was getting distressed each time I put him in his cot and thought he might be associating it with being left/ crying. You may have tried this already - you have all our sympathy

I bought one of those mesh things last week, havent tried it yet though as not weaning yet. Suzy I bought the nuby one, is that what you have? I reckon cucumber will go down well!

Hello ladies, suzy mesh feeder sounds fab! How much was it? Might have a little trip to Asda tomo.

reastie I don't think you know quite how much I like hearing about baby sensory, your descriptions really makes me chuckle :) Can I just say you've done so well coping with a month of difficult bedtimes.

delia and suzy yes yes yes to the routine and worry, I never thought I;d be so stressed about a routine when I never really planned to have one.
The other day we were in town and dp said why can't we just wait half an hour to feed her, I said no b'cos it messes up bedtime etc. Thinking about it now, its only half an hour fgs!
I think dd is what baby whisperer woman would call a 'textbook' baby, especially with the having a bottle every 3 hours.
I suppose a good thing is babies (apparently) like routine don't they?!

Sounds like there were some very early babies this morning, naughty.

dd and I have been into town and then the park whilst it was still sunny, sat under a tree and she looked up at the leaves, think she liked it :)

Yes Ponyo and DHs don't get the routine thing as much! I think I am mainly like this because a) we have very civilised evenings and nights, b) C is more fun to be with when she has had the 'right' amount of sleep in the day at the right time, and c) in the back of my mind I suppose is still weight gain/loss, although she is gaining now, if I literally 'demand fed' (although am FFing), i.e. just fed her what she wanted, when she wanted it, she would have about 3 ounces about every 5 hours and would get smaller and smaller. So anyway, yes, I think getting back to work will be good for me in giving me something else to focus on.

Dx

reastie yes I do have a (not very good) website at www.austrianapartment.com . I need to put new photos on tho as we have done some work on the apartment since then. I don't keep it very up to date as I am lazy I have a very good agent in Austria who gets 99% of my bookings so I have never needed bothered to 'market' as such. It's a lovely place tho, Zell Am See is just gorgeous, I heart Austria too, spent my year abroad there and had to keep going back.

D

Gosh what a lot to catch up on,excuse me if i dont do personal replies.
I couldnt find the mesh feeder at asda.Ill look on line.I bought her some jars of fruit tho.Speaking of routines i am a bit of a stickler but had to vist Nan today so dh of course messed it up,gave a bottle instead of rice and now she is asleep.Tbh i cant be arsed at the mo as she wakes up at 5am no matter what we do so cant get any worse.
D im sorry you feel down again and suzy-was it suzy? I have to say i feel loads better on the prozac,nothing is such a big deal anymore.
ex h had her so no nursery.I have a year off if i like,i am taking it if i csn manage to. D will have her op after 6 months but could be as late as 8 months so im not goign back untill after and she has learned to cope with her new mouth iyswim.Oh shes awake back later.

40weeks no I just got the asdas own make one, ponyo it was £2.50, worth every penny altho its a bugger to clean! I also bought some steriliser tablets to soak it as I bet bits of food will get trapped.

I also bought a table seat high chair thing as we have a breakfast bar so too high for a conventional high chair.

ledkr what time do you give baby rice? We used to give bottle and then rice at 6.30, then bath then bed. But have started giving rice at 6pm then bath, then bottle just before bed at 7.30. So hopefully that "meal" will get earlier and more savoury and eeventually become a tea. I have no idea how people move towards 3 meals a day and hope I am doing it all right!

Listening to H groaning down the monitor now and laughing my head off, his sleepy noises are so funny (but not at 4.30am!) haha

Hey everyone, feels like I haven't posted for ages, you've chatted so much without me!

suzy and delia I was just like that with Imy, plus being neurotic about her sleeping in her cot. I've never had PND but I do remember those feelings of anxiety and waking in the morning and worrying- will she sleep, is it worth going out, what am I going to do with her when she's awake. Like emski I'm much more relaxed with Bina, although I still try and plan things around her sleeps. I think it is so much easier having 2 of them TBH, first because you know what you're doing a lot more, but also because there's lots more going on, Imy plays with Sabine quite a bit, or I'm busy doing the 10th load of washing this week, so there's less time for fretting.

Cor all your babies eating proper food! S is so not interested in it yet. I'm happy with that though as we'll do BLW and she's not got anything like the coordination to get banana to mouth yet (rubbish baby, Imy was waaaay better!)

No opinions on her cough?

reastie best of luck tonight....

Haven't heard from wanderingsheep for a while- or irishqueen

Right, off to National Lottery website to find out how I claim my millions

Hello, sorry we are having a bit of a poo day.

deliaskis I suffered from depression/anxiety about 8 years ago, and I always felt worse when I felt less in control of things, I know you said that you feel that you should be feeling better because C was getting older and maybe easier but I always find these few months between 4-8 months a bit harder. I dread weaning, can't explain why, am strangely nervous over it I think its easier when they're very small (there's only so much they can do then I also think the lack of holiday is a disappointment, if you think about it, we were pregnant this time last year, so that's a whole year where we have been completely overtaken and ruled by our babies, who are bloody fantastic but we still need to be us.

I am the least routiney person I know but even I have to be home for 3 hours in the morning so Anna can sleep for a couple of hours and I don't stay out later than 6.30pmish. I was up at my parents this evening and didn't get home until after 7 and I felt everything was a bit squew-whiffy!!

suzy I like the table seat chairs, was looking at one yesterday.

debka Anna came back from Ibiza with a cough, thought it was a mixture of air conditioning, change of temp, but it hung about for a few weeks, just realised that she hasn't had it for a few days (how crap am I )

Fight you for the Euromillions, bought a ticket for the first time today. If I win, I will buy Greece for us all, and we can all descend on byronicheroine and raise the babies in a big commune and partners can visit for the odd week!!

Did the world a favour and de-greyed my hair, I am sleek and shiny and ready for Idris in 30 mins