Feb 2011 - The one where they all start sleeping through the night! (We hope)

[WanderingSheep]

Was hoping a positive title might bring us some good luck

jane poor you - I think (not that it makes it easier) what you are feeling is totally normal though. You must've had thoughts and dreams for what zoe was like and what she would become when you were pg so to have all that taken away from both of you must be heartbreaking. and what a time to be in that situation - when you're with pesky fil Did you ever find a counsellor btw? I know your gp said you are grieving in a 'normal' way but that doesn't mean that it won't help to talk things through with someone iykwim - in a way it's nice to have time off work but also it can mean that you have alot of time to think and dwell on your thoughts on your own an aeful lot. . Well (trying to see the positives for such a long break from work when in need of money) maybe you can use the summer to make lots of home made wedding favours/table centre peices - I nearly made fudge for my wedding favours - scottish tablet would be festive?

Thanks reastie no to the counsellor. I generally am ok most of the time, i think my hormones have a lot of the say at the minute.

Our favours are going to be retro sweets in a 10p mix-up kinda way with a SANDS pin badge. We already have centre pieces, the hotel are supplying candelabra things. I am going dress shopping on wed and jewellery shopping with my friend who is getting married in Sept, so only another 5 weeks to fill!

How did Alice settle last night?

reastie i am getting married here www.royal-stirling.co.uk/

jane now you mention the sweets I remember you said that before . Great idea re: the sands badge btw. I had a quick nosey at the weddning website and looks v nice - I like the look of those big light shade things in the room where you have the meal . looks like they include pretty much everything in the all inc package too - that (if that's what you're doing) will save you so much stress in sorting. Enjoy the dress/jewelrey shopping - I wore a beautiful art deco family heir loom (sp???) necklace with my dress but it took me so long to find any earing that went with it (mainly as it was yellow gold and everything at the min is silver/white gold) in the end I had to settle for a boring h samuel pair that sort of were the best of a bad bunch so i recommend getting all your jewllrey together so you know it all goes together.

another bad night settling alice - not the worst, but took me until 10pm to get her sleeping in her cot. she was in her cot earlier and kept screaming so she came in bed with me for a while (yes, I really was in bed that early!) and the only thing that would stop her crying was when i gave her lots of kisses . She seems to have developed a habit of late to bed at night and late up - didn't feed her until 8am this morning. Just wish I would stop waking up for the day at 5am or I'd do quite well . She's here lying next to me sticking her fist in her mouth and I can hear lots of gagging noises where she's prob sticking it in too far

oh, and wen i say it took me ages to find an earring to wear, of course i mean earrings - i wasn't going for the wonky one earring look on my wedding day

jane,i am a counsellor-well i did some training yrs ago,i will pm you some self help techniques for what its worth,ways of asking yourself how you are feeling etc. maybe usefull,at wedding all day today so will have ago tomorrow.
teastie just had similar convo with dh,he is off to his bros party tomorrow practically as soon as we pick up the dd's from mums,i said it was too much to do both but he is going to anyway!!!!Leaves me with a hangover and two kids to deal with plus all the unpacking of their stuff He offered not to go but i told him to still go as i have had an invite for my friends birthday in dubai next month so i my go. He was [shocked] haha
hubbard thats what ive been getting,i feel on edge pretty much all the time so cant tell hat i am unreasonable about or not,i have very dark thoughts but the gp thinks its ok to leave me like this untill next friday
I have been having a crafty smoke and am thinking i will be very sucessfull at my first ww weigh in next week as am so bloody on edge i cant eat.

Jane, wedding plans seem to be coming along well. I agree with Reastie re Zoe, she will always be part of you and it's ok to cry for her. Your FIL really does need a lesson in tact!
Reastie, I think rice etc is mixed with babies milk so the food tastes like what their used to. I'm sure cooled boiled water could be used though.

reastie and Led I know exactly what you mean about (D)Hs and not understanding that our lives have changed 100% and theirs about...I dunno...30%. DH and I had a 'come to Jesus' chat about it earlier in the week tho and have settled back into a better and more content equilibrium.

DH had a big row with MIL last night about her loose canon-esque behaviour with C. I would probably...errmmm...not have approached it that way myself. He was going on more about C not being kept to 'the routine', whereas I was really more bothered about having left C in MIL's care, to later discover she had then left her with someone else, and I didn't know about it. So anyway, it finished with her saying 'if you don't trust me to look after her then I won't have her ever again'...yikes, and with my KIT days starting this week that's just perfect timing! Hope there is a detente before next week .

reastie as per Emski I think it's with milk so that it tastes like what they're used to, in fact, so that it tastes of anything at all. I think it would just be nothingness without the milk TBH, it won't do any harm, but will literally taste of nothing. C won't have water anyway, so I wouldn't be able to trick her with that. Also, consider that with milk, it is still quite nutritious (as in nutrition from the rice which is tiny, and from the milk, which is massive), but with water, it will be only the nutrition from the rice, which is not much. Won't matter for tiny amounts, as long as A doesn't fill up on it and stop her having her normal amount of milk.

jane poor you, of course you're going to feel the way you do, and with TOTM at the mo then hormones will be doing their bit too. Am glaring at your FIL on your behalf.

Ledkr what you describe re being on edge all the time and dark thoughts, is exactly how I felt early on. For me it was from really about 3 weeks to about 9-10 weeks and then it did start to feel better. Glad you've seen the doc tho. I felt better once I had, I never took the anti-ds in the end, but glad I had that as an option, that I had been taken seriously, but also, because my HV was great, I was on her list of people to keep an eye on and she would just ring or text regularly to ask me how I was getting on and if everything was OK or if I wanted a visit etc. I mean not in an intrusive way, but it was reassuring to know that somebody was looking out for me. Hope you feel better soon, but keep posting/talking about it, that really helped me and everybody here was fab (and made me feel like less of a freak).

D

Morning all, well very good sleep from baby ponyo last night - she went to sleep without her dummy, and I woke up at 6am realising I hadn't had to get up once :) So of course dashed in to check she was still breathing Then got up a couple of times to do the dummy run and woke up again at 7.45!! What a little star, the only thing we did differently was not give her a bath before bed as she was too tired Maybe she likes going to bed grubby...

reastie you basically described how I feel about dp at the mo, he seems to think when he's pissing about on internet he can just put the dummy in and say "oh Anya" when she starts whinging.
Yest I went out for half an hour so asked him to change her nappy as it felt a bit full of wee, got back and he was still sat on laptop and hadn't changed it so I did, then made him feel bad as she'd pooed (only a little bit but I didn't say that).
I think maybe the dp's havn't had the realisation that ther lives have changed yet?!
Let us know how you get on with baby rice if you decide to give it a go, I will be interested to hear.

jane nice to hear your FIL being his usual sensitive self Really feel for you, there must be so much to remind you of Zoe. I remember when I spoke to someone at mc association (not comparing btw) she said its the loss of all of your hopes and dreams for that baby, everything you imagined for them.

hubbard hope you're ok after anxiety attack, look after yourself. F sounds like she's doing well, now I may sound a bit thick here but do you mean baby rice and puree together or seperate?!

ledkr hope you;re ok too - get yourself to dubai next month! Can you demand gp appt if you're feeling rubbish? Hope tonight (it is tonight isn't it?) goes well.

Got to go and feed baby back later :)

Jane big hugs. And to those feeling wobbly mentally. I found things extremely difficult after having ds1. I got lots of help from my gp and counselling team.

emski about picking bits off the carpet rather than hoovering.....snap.my dh thinks I'm potty when I am crawling around the living room picking up bits!

Poor ds2 off school with a temp so he is camping on the Sofa with a duvet watching animal planet. So am housebound today. He is lovely company and it is nice to have his company!

wiggle you have three beautiful girls, very envious of sunny holidays. We went to menorca last year but are staying put this year. Prob go again next year but I think it would be to much like hard work with a 7yo (with extra needs) 6yo, 20 mo and 4mo!!!!! At least next year Imogen will prob be out of nappies and Archie will be on solids and not permanently on the boob!

Oh and Jane the hotel wedding venue looks lovely.

i'm okish now. Just find the world a little bit hard at times. Most of the time i'm fine but sometimes it all gets on top of me and i have an attack and i have to spend a couple of days trying to get everything back to normal.
ponyo i mix the puree and rice together as then the fruit is alot creamier and palatable. She like apple and pear, and banana might try some veggies nxt week but we'll wait and see.

reastie just done something that reminded me of you! On Facebook my heavily pregnant friend put on her status that she was nesting and had been cleaning out her Hoover with a toothbrush, I posted 'i hope it is your dh's toothbrush?' will wait and see if she is a mner and understands!

hubbard I think you described the feeling perfectly, sometimes everything just feels a little too hard sometimes. I suffered from anxiety/depression a long time ago, 8 years or so and thats exactly how I felt. I always needed as few days to almost wipe the slate clean and start again and this was before I had any kids to deal with as well.

ledkr go to Dubai, seriously, or at least price the flights, hope you enjoy the wedding.

jane if its any help my friend who lost Gracie, just started crying today at the induction day for the nursery, her youngest daughter and Olivia will be in the same class. Gracie would be 4 this year and I think all the talk of nursery just made her realise one of her children would never go. Gracie was her third daughter, she then went on to have Ella, xxxxxx

four4me hope ds2 starts to feel better.

Induction day at nursery went well, Olivia was really quiet, unsure of herself for the first 10 minutes and then decided to take advantage of the much more superior nature of their toys

Don't tell anyone but Anna had some ice-cream, well a lick on holiday, she nearly took Mr Ws' arm of for some more, am going to give her something next week, she's still just on the formula and she practically leaping out of her chair when she sees anyone eating

Hey everyone you chatty bunch of slatterns (apart from reastie who is a domestic goddess)

I love hearing you moan about your DHs when mine is the EXACT SAME, makes me feel a little better oddly. They have no sense of urgency do they?

jane of course you cried :(

I've never suffered from any kind of depression so I can't really comment on that but I have a lot of sympathy, I've friends who've been through it, one had PND so bad she's sworn never to have another child.

Not allowed to start weaning yet but TBH S is sooo not ready for food, she is a baby baby still I think apart from the genius sitting up abilities. I let her taste a piece of melon yesterday, she pulled a face, choked then spat it out!

Being house bound with poorly ds2 (not too poorly just sofa, duvet and tv poorly!) has meant I've had time to research something I've been thinking about for a while. I guess it will get many different reactions from people but I've been thinking of breast milk donation. I have loads frozen (more than we'll need for cereal etc) Archie has his last feed at 7pmish and then I express at about 10pm so I'm not so engorged in the morning. I have been freezing it in proper bm freezer bags. I have emailed the bm milk bank. They collect I think and it eventually goes to poorly/premie/etc babies. What do you all think? Thought I'd run it past you guys first, most of my rl friends are past the baby phase of motherhood.
Am far to squimish for blood donation so I feel like this is my chance to 'do my bit' iykwim.

That sounds utterly brilliant 44me. My mum used to do it, she left the milk on the doorstep apparently and they picked it up. I imagine it's done a bit differently nowadays though! I would but like reastie i'm too lazy busy to pump. Good on you though.

Afternoon all, a pause in the tennis now Laura RObson has lost so time to post...

4For Your BM donation idea is fab. My mum did it when she had me 31 years ago and it's so needed for the small babies. You're a star for thinking of it!

deb I had a choking incident earlier this week. Been giving R baby rice with pear and she gagged and projectile vomited all over. I mean everywhere. Have paused for a few days but she did have a piece of cucumber to lick yesterday for about an hour!

What a naughty mummy you are wiggles....

Hubbard I have no real advice other than try and get out and get lots of daylight. It always seems to help me.

Yay for sleep ponyo! it makes such a difference!

delia I guess at least your DP is acknowledging the issue with your MIL. Not ideal timing though!

Hope wedding is fun ledkr and the hangover not too bad.

reastie You could make it with water but I doubt Alice would be impressed. it uses hardly any milk so maybe the formula isn't too much of an issue.

Right. Need to unpack my John Lewis goodies. Bought a lush picnic set in sale...it even has napkins! Hello to anyone I missed!

wiggles I at the thought of anna looking so desperate to eat real food. Alice has been getting a bit that way too but I'm trying to hold off until 6 months (I say try as I have no idea how long/if I will cave)

44me what did your fb friend say to dh? thats such an incredible idea re@ breast milk donation - I had never even thought of it myself. Maybe I should try and build up a supply in the freezer and then try and get some extra too (if I can overcome the laziness) - tell me, does it matter how old your lo is? (I know they say breast milk changes over time ). where do you get the bags to freeze in btw?

deb I have lived up to my domestic godess image today by hoovering and reorganising the playroom and getting everything in the new sitting room sorted, polishing some of the wood furniture, also just put home made pizza in the oven. Was going to make cupcakes for dh but then alice woke up and spared me the bother of something else to busy myself with

I think that's it deb - dh have no urgnecy or realisation they should live their life around someone else in the way we do. i'm leaving him alone with alice for first time tomorrow as I'm getting my hair cut and I secretly hope she is a pain for him so he realises he can't just do what he wants when he wants

choc you are making me dash off to look and possibly buy from the john lewis sale - if I spend our life savings I'll tell dh to blame you

Reastie most of them were bargains for R to be fair - some
Long sleeved bibs and next size sleeping bags for half price.

reastie freezer bags are from mothercare made by Lansinoh. I read some where you have to start donating before baby is six months. Will update you when I hear back. Off to check Facebook!

chocoroo - I LOVE R's animal babygro in the 5 day old photo! Where did you get it? Lest you think I'm not also a slattern, I've not hoovered in ages (desperately needs doing too) and I've dusted once in the 6 months we've lived here.

jane - hugs to you. Your FIL is such a twunt.

I think we're going to start weaning at 5 months. L likes to eat every 3 hours round the clock, I'm hoping a bit of solid food will help him sleep longer. Honestly, I'm counting down the days, would do it sooner but I'm a bit at the increased risk of asthma, allergies, etc.

Is everyone using a highchair or what? I'm shopping for one and completely overwhelmed, just want something that's adjustable height and folds for storage but not too expensive. I've been through the MN reviews, it seems the best rated ones have all the bells and whistles and are £££.

americanexpat We're getting a highchair this time from Ikea - just the cheapo £11 one, I had a "whistles and bells" one for S & O and it was a real pain in the arse - it was big, hard to clean etc. What about getting one of those hard seats you put on a real chair, I suppose it depends if you want a tray or not. I was nosying at them today, we got Anna a walker today, now to build it

Anna is still fascinated by the dog, she is staring wide eyed at it whilst playing with her new fave toy - she's obsessed with soft, blanket type books, she really started to take an interest in toys when we were away so I have run and got her a few bits and pieces - she still hates Sophie

American I think they were from Mothercare, can't check as they're up in PIL loft now just in case I ever get over the birth trauma enough to want another!

We have a BabyDan Highchair. It doesn't fold but fits right up to the table where a normal chair would go. It does clean dead easy though which as a slattern I really appreciate!

four4me what an amazing idea re: the breast milk donation, just think how much it will help little babies become stronger.

Again, thank you all for your kind words and bad words to fil!

reastie making cupcakes for DH? Jeez you spoil that man! My DF is lucky if i make some toast

ledkr that would be fab, thank you! I hope you enjoyed the wedding and don't suffer too much in the morning. Dubai sounds like a plan

reastie i didn't think you wore just 1 earring . We went for the 80 guest all inclusive package, i would have went for the 40 guests but DF had his gromzilla moment

expat i have a highchair from toys r us, it does't change heights but folds up well for storage. i will try post a link later.

chocoroo meant to say - great photos. Your other half is scrummy but not a patch on Mr Donald . I can see a slight resemblance but I think it might be a height thing!!