Feb 2011 - it's all about the shred

[reastie]

welcome everyone

tarlia at such a cute place to nap in the day. I like that IL island idea [peace at last]. We could all go to the island to visit them but then leave whenever we wanted [glazed eyes]

ems hurrah for Noah in his cot

Took me ages to get alice to sleep last night due to her self poked red eye - she kept rubbing it with tiredness which made it hurt :( but seems she's had a good night and was in her cot at 10 and still sleeping now :)

I was so annoyed at mil last night I actuallt couldn't get to sleep - I nearly sent an email to SIL (who I have strong suspicions doesn't get on with mil but not 100% so scared to bring it up with her incase I rock the boat with the family) to moan to her as she might understand but held back until this morning and this morning I feel a bit calmer so may be able to hold it in. I will have to explain to DH though but he doesn't understand and just sees it as them wanting to see their lovely gc and what's wrong with that . Nothing wrong with that it's just the way they go about it iykwim. can you tell i'm still annoyed at them for popping over when i specifically said we werebusy?!

suzy how was harry last night? hope you got some sleep

I know I've missed out on commenting on lots due to my rage, sorry

Reastie thats how i was for weeks after they gatecrashed my homecoming,behaved liked dicks and then ignored me when my baby was seriously ill in hospital.I literally hated them.My mate has had similar probs and kept telling me it would pass and it has a bit. Again i think its the having to have someone so involved in your life that you havent chosen to be that is the problem. I felt alot b etter after id explained how i felt to dh although he did make excuses for them but couldnt excuse all of it.

Bloody D woke at 5am for some unknown reason,i wouldnt mind but ive not been sleeping well and had been awake since 3 myself. She had afeed and was practically asleep but just wouldnt settle.I was fed up and stomped downstairs at 6 plonked her on the mat where she grizzled then put her in the pram where she has been sleeping since,i cant tho cos have to get Ella up.
Another day of feeling crap then only 6 more sleeps untill paris tho where i will be catching up.

Hi girls!

reastie I hope you are feeling better, im angry at you outlaws for you! I think you should have a wee word in DH ear.

ledkr Have a wee chillout day, im so jelous you are going to paris in 6 sleeps!

Oh i have booked an appointment to go try on wedding dresses! Is it bad that i so cant be assed with it?

reastie I'd say if you're still annoyed about it later today then do the email. Glad you're calmer about it now tho, it sounds so annoying.

ledkr thats not a lot of sleep for you, awake since 3 Why?! Hope you're ok, bet you (and E) can't wait til Paris, it'll be fab. I loved the image of D tap dancing in her bouncer, v cute!

tarlia at FAT?! What on earth. Actually quite a strange thing to say really?

I have a theory re: babies I came up with last night - everything would be much easier if we were given timescales with them Its the not knowing how long things are going to last for that is frustrating, for example if someone could tell me - A will need to be swaddled til she is 6 months I'd feel much less stressy about it!
Or if someone had said to me in the early days that she would be sleeping through til 5am from 7 weeks (i think it was) it would have made the early sleep deprivation much easier to bear!

Ok quite a clumsy point but hope it makes sense.

I have just done the shred, it starts today now dp back at work.

Off to shower now dd sleeping, she stared at me very seriously when I was shredding, obv not impressed

Hi jane! No its not bad you can't be arsed but it would be bad if you didn't go as we all want a report back when you've been - even me who isn't usually that bothered about weddings

Ponyo,I always say that to dh. If only someone could forward wind for us so we can see that it does get easier!
Jane, nothing wrong with no being so up for trying on wedding dresses. Can't wait to here about it though!
Ledkr, cannot put into words how jealous I am about you and E going away this week! Sorry about your lack if sleep last night. I'd give anything to actually wake up in the morning feeling refreshed!

Morning ladies, hope we are mostly feeling mostly OK.

Ponyo I agree exactly about the not knowing being the worst. If someone said 'C will be sleeping through 7-7 at this age, she will have x naps per day by this age, she will be eating x solids and x milk at this age' then it would all feel more like something I could plan for and deal with. It's the complete unknowns that drive me up the world. I am TBH quite the control freak so I guess that's why it bothers me.

reastie and Ledkr I am baffled by both your IL's behaviour. When did it become OK to act like this? MIL annoyed me (again!) yesterday. We were just leaving her house yesterday and C hadn't been able to have her long lunchtime sleep, as MIL can't speak below a zillion decibels, and C was finally in the pram and really relaxed so I was thinking hoorah she can sleep on the way home then wake at feeding time. Then MIL scooped her up (she was almost asleep) to give her a big goodbye hug and kiss. I was livid, and all I could manage was a snooty 'you've made her cry' as we left, because I just couldn't believe she would do that when C was clearly exhausted from not having been allowed to sleep earlier.

Emski congrats on sleeping in cot, hoorah!

Dx

emski I think that Noah and Harry have been talking, as their nightime seems very similar. h woke at 5am this morning, I tried to settle him for 30 mins, but he just kept waking up so I brought him into bed with us at 5.30 and he slept til 7.30. Little monkey.

I did a dreamfeed at 9.30pm and he slept thru til 3am where i fed him then put him back down. He drank 5oz and I think he would have had more if we'd given it so might get DH to offer him an 8oz bottle tonight and I can get an early night.

Anyone elses babies downing milk like theres no tomorrow? There seems to be no filling Harry (Ive even started giving baby rice-oops!).

Just put H down for a nap (slightly awake) in his cot and he zonked out after rubbing his head on the sheet for a few mins (so thats where the bald patches come from!).

Thanks for all the sleep advice last night, I had some how gotten myself in a right old tizz!

reastie yey for Alice sleeping thru again, what a good girl

ledkr thanks again for last night. You have my sympathies today with the 3am wake up, make sure you take it easy. Just think about Paris, that will put a smile on your face!

ponyo Sleeping thru til 5am, thats brill!!!! Do NOT worry about swaddling if it gives you uninterrupted sleep!

Jane good luck with the dress shopping. Dont feel bad about not looking forward to it, it does seem like a faff but im sure you will have more fun than you could imagine!

delia what a bloody pain!!! Who thinks its ok to disturb a sleepy baby?! Im glad you said that to her, hopefully she will realise that you were annoyed!

Nice sunny day here but I am too tired and grumpy to enjoy it. Poor harry, bet he wishes he had a fun mum who knew about routines etc!

ponyo I found exactly that annoyance re: timings when I was pg - I'd keep researching when ms stopped and focused on 12 weeks, then I still felt sick so focused on 14 weeks, then still felt sick and focused on 20 weeks etc etc etc (never stopped feeling sick completely until I had her btw). I hate the not knowing and not sure what time frame to look/hope for IYKWIM. And being told every pg/baby is different didn't help

ponyo here's the exert from my baby book 'the happiest baby on the block' re: swaddling 'the age of weaning off swaddling varies from baby to baby. many parents think they should stop after a few weeks or when their baby resists wrapping. but that's actually when bundling becomes the most valuable. To decide if you infant no long needs to be wrapped...swaddle her with one arm out. if she gets fussier, she's telling you to continue wrapping her...with a few exceptions, babies are ready to be weaned off wrapping by 3 - 4 months, although some babies sleep better wrapped up to one year of age.' See - your LO might just be one of those that loves swaddling, and if it works, why worry .

jane I'm so tempted to send that email to SIL - need a moan to my mum about it and then see . Good luck looking for wedding dresses. If I'm honest I wasn't that excited by all the 'chores' of wedding shopping - luckily I just went to monsoon and got the first one I tried on . Hopefully it will be the same way for you :)

ledkr why waking up at 3? I only ask as I've been doing the same thing . I'm convinced it's just my hormones going a bit mad as I wonder if I was actually ill yesterday or just pesky hormones (and the temperature a result of hot flushes). Maybe having a baby is sending me into early menopause

I wonder if waking up at 3am is out of habit? I think thats my problem, as I am so used to waking up repeatedly thru the night (thanks Harry!) that now when he sleeps for a good stretch I am still unsettled!

Is anyone going to tell my off for giving baby rice? Harry seemed to like it, and was even licking the spoon! Dont tell my HV tho! haha

Not sure,i did it yesterday too,im not a great sleeper anyway. I maybe subconciously worried about going away maybe,there always seems to be so much to remember.
Am off to shred in a bit,am impressed that ponyo has already done it. I am dreading it as level 2 is soooo hardcore.

wow I am impressed that you are shredding after that night! I am that mine is still in its wrapper! Im actually quite attached to my jelly belly now.....

sorry for all the in-law nightmares, mine are not too bad although they massively favour their other grandson - their own daughter's baby so I suppose that's why. have read the posts but can't take them in as knackered! N up every hour crying last night, still has a cold, i'm really on my knees after the third night of this and that's on the background of his crap sleep anyway.
suzy mine has always self settled in the day, and I hear him wake up babble and go back to sleep at night, this has in no way affected how many times he is up in a night for feeds and poos though!
jane glad your balloon release went well.
reastie hope you are feeling better soon, at least I don't have the cold as well (yet).

sorry am usually quite stoic about his sleep but i just want to cry at the moment. needless to say i have not shredded!

suzy I am def not going to tell you off, sounds v cute if he was licking spoon, I can't wait to try dd on baby rice. However I'll leave it for now as she is deffo not downing her milk, I'm happy if she drinks 5oz! She's only managed 6oz a couple of times. She doesn't have much of a cute baby 'tum' just chunky thighs :) You'll prob hate me for saying this but dd can make it through til 6.30am now with the odd waking, trust me the only reason I'd be awake at 3am is if she is!

delia I must be a control freak too, although having a baby really seems to have brought it out in me, I'm usually known for being quite laid back! What on earth was your MIL thinking, how selfish of her. Don't blame you for saying something, why do people think it is ok to do things like that?!

reastie thanks for that exert - I like stuff like that, reassuring. Sounds like dd is the exception and like you say, why worry :)

ledkr not surprised if you're worrying a bit about going away, is it leaving D? Good luck with shred. When do you move to level 2?

Forgot to say, dd is 16 weeks today :) (that means dreaded jabs this wed, boo)

ponyo til 6.30am without a feed? or is there a feed in there somewhere? You are right, I am !

oh and wobblybumm massive sympathies! try and chill out today if at all possible.

wobblyplease hand him over tonight and get some sleep.

suzydd had some rice and some pear puree at about 16 wks,she wasnt too keen so am leaving it abit. Im sure its ony a matter of time tho cos she literally sucks anything,watches us eat and also has been drinking 150ml bots which is huge for tiny tum.I am hoping not to start it until back from paris tho.
Just sis day 2 of level 2 its hard but i like it,i cant do the plank jacks tho
Am trying not to eat bread but i just had soup and its flipping horrible without.
Off to baby group now to talk to women with babies constantly attached to their boobs? haha

Ponyo I'm glad you said it was selfish, that is exactly how I feel about a lot of my MIL's misdemeanours (in fact all of them). It's that she is more focussed on her own ends than on what is best for C. I know she would never do C any harm, but MIL's desire to have her for herself etc. seems to get the better of common sense and what is actually best for C. The middle of the night airport run and the police car incident both smack of MIL not wanting to 'forfeit' her time with C, even though it would be better for C.

I would be seriously be reining back her time with C except that when I go back to work we neeeeeed her for child care. Yikes, what to do?

suzy no telling off here for giving baby rice. I have not done it yet, but wouldn't rule it out if I felt it would help. When C's reflux was really bad, I needed to cling to the thought that I could start her on solids about now if I really wanted to (paed said don't wait to 6 months if she wants them earlier, just not before 16 weeks). As it is we're doing OK at the mo so will probably hang fire for a few more weeks.

Actually that's an everyone question. I know 'officially' it's not advised until 6 months, I know a lot of people do between 4 and 6 months. I'm not in a hurry for reflux purposes anymore, but I go back to work at 6 months, so I really feel like I would like to see her established on some solids at least before then. Is that me being selfish now?!!! I just feel like I don't want to wait until I'm about to go back to work then hand over responsibility for weaning to whoever is looking after her each day (my Mum, MIL and nursery) - control freakery again, but it is important. How has anyone approached this in the past? In my head I am kind of thinking of waiting until about 20-22 weeks and then having a go, giving a month of me doing it (LOL reastie ) before work. Then again we're going to be on hols weeks 23 and 24, so maybe that's just a silly time to start?

D

Ledkr interesting what you say about D only having 150ml bottles. I know she has her cleft too so I assume that makes it difficult, but what does she weigh now? C weighs probably close to 12lbs now (not weighed for about 3 weeks but she was 10lb13oz then), so is still v petite, and has between 130ml and 180ml per feed, but I think any more than this and her reflux would just send it all back up anyway. I kind of sense that getting enough milk to stay in her up to 6 months might be difficult.

D

delia can I just nosy in on this and ask how many bottles C has a day? dd weighs just over 11lbs and is on 4 -5oz per feed (120 - 150ml) and I'm not sure its enough. She has 5 bottles a day but today I'm trying to give her a bit more (bottles, not amount of milk).

Some people are selfish when it comes to babies, dp and I have got better at saying "no" to people who want to hold her when we don't think its right, we learnt our lesson after she was woken up when nearly asleep by some (elderly) relatives who then tutted when she cried

suzy yep without a feed she is very petite tho. One night she fussed and wouldn't take her before bedtime bottle, so went to bed not having had a proper feed since 4.30 and still slept til 6ish

I don't have a clue yet about starting solids or anything yet, don't think dd is ready so will leave it a bit longer. I'm a baby first timer so will be relying on help and advice from you lot!

ledkr is this your first trip to baby group?! Do report back

I've had such a lazy day today - have done bugger all. Quite enjoying it :)

Hello!

Way too much chat for me to respond to evryone...that's what you get if you don't post for two days!

Hope the PIL traumas arent too bad. Do you ever think theyre magnified by the fact we're all not exactly ourselves at the moment? I know I'm still finding motherhood pretty hard-going and I'm definteky mourning the loss of "me". So when PIL's stick their oar in, by turning up or offering "opinions" we take it all quote personally?

Not ready for weaning here yet although we have started getting the stuff ready - bought some bowls and spoons etc and a High Chair. I suspect we'll be doing it about 5 months. R is 16 weeks so probably another 4 weeks or so if she'll wait that long.

Delia Ponyo Not sure it helps your thinking but R had 4 x 210-240 bottles a day. We worried about the amount of fluid she was getting when she first dropped the dream feed but she seems to be doing okay on that and is growing well.

Hi everyone,

Have read all posts but can't remember enough to respond to everyone.

ILs vile lot, many sympathies to those suffering. Mine live a long way away and don't bother visiting us, which is a mercy. Saw them at the show during the week and I pretty much blanked them.

suzy you are the best mum Harry could have, don't fret yourself please. You love him and want the best for him and all will be fine.

Re weaning because of the EAT study we're not meant to start till 6mo with S, which I'm more than happy about. They say if we do want to start sooner it's ok, but talk to them first. If you start before 6mo it's proper faffy with purees and all that malarky, just can't be doing with it all.

ON THE SUBJECT OF WEANING prepare to be - did I tell you about my friends who have a DD exactly 1 month older than S, so she's just short of 5mo now, and they are incredibly PFB and put EVERYTHING on FB?? Well, she's been in a forward facing car seat for about 2mo, weaning started a month ago, and yesterday there was a photo of their 4 month old DD eating a Mr Whippy!!!! Imy only had her first Mr Whippy this year and she's TWO!!! Today there was a photo of her first shoes, proper full on shoe shoes.

I am bloody cream crackered today, S was up three times again last night, then would NOT settle for her morning nap and ended up sleeping for 2 hours in the car, missing a feed in the process. It is just so knackering, was it you emski who said you'd give anything to wake up feeling refreshed? It's 2x as hard when you have another one, today S slept in (in the kitchen) till 8, but Imy was up at 7.15 so I had to drag myself to consciousness to see to her.

Who is it who has nice weather? Raining here today and yesterday, first time for MONTHS, don't know what to do! Put nappies on the line yesterday and when I brought them in they were wetter than when I put them out! House is now festooned with steaming Terries, and there's a beef in beer in the oven, feels like February!

eek, need to read up on weaning, time just seems to be flying. i think i will attempt to go with what debka says and try to stick it out until 6 months to avoid the faff. i don't think Nate's guts are in any way mature, he still poos about 5 times a day and often in the night so I don't think he'll manage solids any time soon. the guidelines seem a bit unrealistic for most though, same with the sleeping guidelines for SIDS - i think they are difficult to stick to and then people end up feeling guilty because they can't manage to follow them. likewise with the no alcohol in pregnancy rule (because women are too thick to understand what a unit is apparently), might be more sensible to have a range e.g. from 4-6 months for weaning. surely if our babies are rolling/smiling etc at different times they will be ready to eat at different times too?

anyway, speaking of mr whippy i think i have a magnum in the freezer somewhere......