Feb 2011 - it's all about the shred

[reastie]

welcome everyone

40 i hope M is ok. Accidents are so easy with these little munchkins.

Yay C. Hope you get a repeat tonight deb.

Aww, restie, so sorry you are feeling poorly and down in the dumps with the ILs. Mine don't come over every weekend but they try to. We end up seeing one of them every week though as they are split up and OH's younger sis - apparently anyone coming together is just not good enough! Why is that?? I really don't blame you for being upset, they are stealing your family time right when you really need it. What does DH say?

led urg at Poor Dilly sucking hairy hands!! And MIL yesterday, what on earth was that all about? Poor little mite crying like that, how strange. Babies do tend to know who to trust..

ponyo and suzy really if little ones still need a swaddle then keep going, there is really no hurry, they won't need it at 18. Though may look funny & cute .

Jane so glad you had a nice day yesterday, hope the little angels caught the ballons. I can't believe FIL arrived, what an arse!!

I've got IL complaints too! Seems like it's a weekend for it! I've got loads of complaints and MIL and SIL were in fine form as usual, but will only bore you with one. I keep being told that Z is, and I quote, FAT! He is a big boy, but so is his dad! He was stunted by my pre eclampsia, so is catching up. Actually has only put on 400g in 6 weeks! I'm then being told I'm making him fat as I'm breastfeeding by eating the ice-cream that was put in front of me for pudding, which all 8 of them had too. I know it's untrue, but it makes me feel so sad and guilty! :( It makes me really want to come home to the UK to get away from them.

Urg, I got destracted mid post so probably cross posted loads - sorry

Hi all, Suzy, we try to put Noah down drowsy but awake, doesn't always work as after his last bottle he is pretty much out of it!! We've had quite a few nights where he's cried when we've put him down and we've then had to rock him to almost asleep.
I have to say guys my in laws are fab. Werent so when Ben was born and dh had the pleasure of putting down the rules several times. Now whenever my mil is here, or the boys are at hers I know she will do exactly as I would want. She's fab and we've become quite close, especially as I'm not close to my mum. I see mil at least one day a week, and maybe one on the weekend. They do live about 40 minutes away which helps though, as they can't just pop in!! If they ever turned up or overstayed there welcome I would just leave the room and make it clear that I wasn't happy, I was probably seen as quite rude at the time but did not give a monkeys!! They soon learned.
40, I really hope Mikey is ok, what a worry for you. Will be thinking of you all and waiting for an update.
Jane, I'm so glad your balloon release went well and that you've met some people you can talk to. It will really help that they have been there too.

ledkr do you mean you pmed? If you did, I didn't get it . btw maybe I'm making PIL out to be worse than they are - they do ring first, but it's sort of 'we're just in the area and will drop this off' type thing and then expect to see A and never used to do this with really non essential things (esp as DH usually pops in to visit them during the week). I just felt when they did this today and saw DH and A were out together went away and came back when they were back - clearly they wern't just intending to be dropping off something

Also, Reastie sorry your poorly and having to cope with your in laws, and sorry to hear everyone elses in law stories. A few years ago that would have been me!

yep ledkr I really feel that self settling might be the answetr to our early waking hell! problem is....I dont know where to begin! We have been trying to cuddle after hsi last bottle, and then put him down sleepy, but a bit awake. Also, for naps I try and out him down awake, but usually end up shush, patting etc and sometimes resort to a dummy. Im hopeless :-(

tarlia ignore them!!! Babies are meant to be chubby, its cute! And breastfeeding burns calories so you needed the ice cream

Suzy that is 3.5 hours, is it possible that he could be hungry as approching a spurt. Z does a 6hr stretch at night now, but from then on he feeds every 1-2 hours. He used to always cluster between 7-10 pm, but of course he is in bed at that time now so it's 5-10 in the am!

It could, but he usually falls back to sleep for a couple of hours if we bring him into our bed, so that makes me think hes not hungry. very confusing!

How many people on here do a dreamfeed? Think I am going to give it a go tonight as Ive got nothing to lose really. Even if he wakes at 4am, instead of 2am! i am grateful for any sleep he will give me!

Also, is anyone else having trouble with naps? H is now refusing to nap for longer than 45mins at a time....nightmare!

id have a plan suz, like the baby w or the no cry sleep solution,otherwise you will be all over the place tbh. It was entirely painless for ds i felt confident i knew what i wanted to do.
tarlia i think thats bollox btw,my ds1 was bloody huge,he was on solids by 3 months,he is a slim fit and healthy young man now,how rude,im afraid i would have had another ice cream. Skinny pils were being all carefull with the carvery,me and dh had about a thousand roasters D has chubby cheeks and people comment but she's on the 25th centile.
Oh yes,put D in the door bouncer today,absolutley hilarious. She was sort of tap dancing whilst watching her feet and grinning for all she was worth,i love it.Only allowed her ten mins as i am fed up of bouncing her up and down on my lap and getting arm ache haha

Yes Dilly only has 3 short naps,she makes up for it at night tho,you cant have it all I didnt like the dream feed but many swear by it,give it a go.

haha le4dkr ive had H in his door bouncer, the look of shock on his face when he bounces is priceless!

Agree that I need a plan, but just dont know where to start, feel like im obsessing and getting all anxious about it. Should I start with naps do you think, or bedtime?

I did naps cos i get so fraught at night but as i said the night thing happened when she had been rocked to sleep then woken when put down-as she did often-i was busy so left her for a bout 5-10 mins crying but not hysterical and she went off and has done ever since. Have you got a book cos if not id get one for guidance.
Ps,i also felt like when i gave myself a talking to about things not being the end of the world cos we were all healthy,had a nice life etc it becsame easier.aia also confessed to dh just how shit felt on no sleep and he said it didnt bother him as much so he would take on a lot more of the night stuff. He hasnt had to cos she's been ok but could your dh do that? He was going to sort it untill early morn then id take over but hes lucky cos works shifts.

btw it still takes about 5mins for her to settle,she has alittle moan thrashes about and yawns noisly then gose quiet,are you leaving him to see what he does?

i can spell btw

Thanks, I have read that they take what they need in the milk, it doesn't become strawberry milkshake . But ooooh the guilt. This was after she told me "you are not having wine!" erm, I've not had an alcoholic drink in over a year now, but it's my choice!

Aww, nice to hear D likes her bouncer, ledkr. where is the time going? They are growing so damn fast!

Suzy I have no idea, it was just something to throw out there. Z has a dream fed at 10, then usually sleeps until 4 or 5, but on occasion he grumbles or cries between 2 - 3, I don't feed him here, I stick a dummy in. If he is hungry boy does he let me know it, but usually he snuggles back down and nods off.

Thanks for the advice

yeah i sometimes leave him, but he cries and it escalates into a scream so i end up picking him up. Maybe i should just try patting.

I think my problem is that I have ALL the sleep books, so dont know where to star or what to do. Poor Harry with me as his mummy

thanks tarlia gonna do a dreamfeed and see, fingers crossed!

Listen suzy,i am a mum of 5 they have all been different. I am also a child protection sw and would have no concerns about you as a Mum. Bad Mums dont ask questions or get worried about doing the right thing.
How about you have an easy few days just mothering him and then start your plan of action. I read that babies get very anxious around 4 months and need extra Mum contact,that kept me going for D's 4 month regression.

oh yeah and Tarlia,when i bf my ds1 26 yrs ago there was no firm advice,i used to smoke and drink and eat what the hell i liked.

Thanks Ledkr, dont know why Im getting in a state over this, must be sleep deprivation. think I will have an easy few days and then try and tackle it. He does settle for naps when not in his cot, e.g. in his chair, or lying next to me on the sofa, so maybe thats a start.

Hello all
reastie sorry you had such a shite day, my pils in law only live 5 mins away but they don't call in unless invited. I take the girls to see them once -twice a week, sometimes Mr W takes them depending on shifts. See depending on distance I think its much easier to visit them, you only stay as long as you want, no mad tidying to be done and they make the tea!! I quite like my in-laws, it was very difficult when I first met Mr W, I was very young and he had a long-term girlfriend at the time, it was a long hard slog but twenty years later its all ok

Tarlia How very dare your in-laws suggest Z is fat, he's just a baby, he can't be fat!!

40Weeks How's Mikey?

Debka well done Sabine, fingers crossed for tonight.

tarlia take no notice of your mil!

reastie sorry to hear you are ill and feeling crap hugs to you x

ledkr boke at Dilly sucking your fils hairy hand!

Hope all you other ladies and babies are well.

hello wiggles
Yes suzy have abreak from it all and be all mother earthy and weave some lentils,make sure he is getting the correct amount of feed according to his weight (look on net or formula box) and enjoy him for afew days.Can dh do a night or 2 or get up really early so you can go back to sleep,i am very very irrational when dont sleep,dh would rather get up than deal with my nonsense.

Thanks, ladies. You always make me feel better. Maybe we should ship all our crazy ILs off to an island together and leave them there

Suzy if only our babies read books, we'd all know what to do. They are all so different, it's so tricky to know! I'm sure you are doing an amazing job.
Ps- Z also hates his cot during the day, but weirdly fine at night. His favourite place to nap is in the sitting room rug on his tummy on a patchwork quilt my mum made for him (so padded but not puffy).

Suzy, I know exactly how you feel re sleep etc. I have abandoned cot naps for the last few weeks as I get so stressed out by it and it can ruin my whole day! I would def take the others advice and leave it a few days and just enjoy him. Noah is hard to get down for naps if I dont get to him at the right time! Also it's around the four/five month mark that they start to link their 45 minute sleep cycles so it's quite normal for them to wake at 45 mins at this age during nap time.
I've just been reading the sleep sense book and it's fab. Its taken the pressure off for me and helped me to relax about sleep.
Noah spent the hole night in his cot last night and didn't wake until 6.30am! So I'm very pleased. I found that when I brought him into bed with us he wouldn't need to feed but if we left him in his cot when he cried and fed him he would go back to sleep for a few hours.
My new thought is anytime after 5.30am I bring him into bed with us but any wake ups before that I feed him.
I hope that helps Suzy. By the way, Noah also screams if left to cry in his cot. We always say that he goes from 0 to 100 in seconds!
I hope all our lovely babies slept well last night