Feb 2011 - it's all about the shred

[reastie]

welcome everyone

ledkr have you tried just telling them, very politely, to go, you need some family time? I do that with my ILs (minus the politely).

jane haven't heard from you in a few days, was the balloon release today? Know you were planning on doing something nice after - hope you are enjoying the sun and that you are too knackered from your re-discovered libido and not the shred xxx

thanks for all the comments about my doing it in john lewis . I really should read these things back first shouldn't it

ledkr hope they've gone now - what illness have you decided upon? Do you get migraines ever (not that I'm advocating faining illness of course [innocent being led astray but world wise ones on mn]

wiggles glad bday party was good. I've been wondering about jane too - don't think she has been on since mentioning she'd been out for a jog - hope she didn't over do it

Hey all and thanks reastie for the reassurance about swaddling - she def still needs it but of course I am comparing her and myself to all the others who have managed to stop swaddling, need to stop that.

ledkr I know I moan about my PIL but bloody hell, yours are something else aren't they. I was going to say for pretend illness say you've got period pains, hopefully that might make them or FIL at least uncomfortable and then they'll bugger off?
I can imagine my MIL doing that with crying dd too, but she hasn't thank god, do you know what though I'm not that surprised with yours.
Can you say tomo you'll meet them somewhere for lunch, like carvery, but you can only pay for yourselves bcause monery is tight? Good luck

Oh and re: dp's kidney no his mum was def not joking about it, she just wanted to dismiss it and get back to talking about her twat

wiggles glad work is over for you now :)

I have been wondering where jane is, hope her balloon release went well.

Right the bloody chav house over the road has a police van outside and somethings kicking off, if they wake dd up I will not be happy

I dont mind spending the day with them but ffs there is only so much convo you can have with 2 60yr olds who are nothing like you and dh is crap he just sits there leaving me to fill the silence.Twas tres annoying earlier too,cos at my request dh told them to come about 3pm and we would do a bbq,i sent him to shops at 2 and d was asleep so i sat on sofa with netbook and coffee and taptaptap they arrived fil was peering thru the window too so bloody intrusive. When i went down after settling d for 2 hrs the kitchen was a mess and they were all sat on their arses dh included. I stomped into the kitchen and started washing the bottles then eventually mil started helping and dh joined so i left them too it. They announced at 9.45 "we will be leaving soon" as if its a bad thing.
reastie i will be considering my illness carefuly. I dont want anything that stops me eating or watching tv do i? I was thinking thrush or cystitis

Just a quickie to say S only woke ONCE last night!!! WOW!!! V happy mummy but I ACHE all over, hope it's not some vile plague...

debka good girl, hope it continues! It's so annoying when you look at the clock and only 2-3 hours (or less) has gone by and they are grumbling.
ledkr you in laws sound great, suggest a recurrence of your highly infectious impetigo that caused suppurating sores in anyone you came into contact with, especially those over 60.
reastie glad you are making the most of the great outdoors! I love John Lewis, it makes me feel safe.

N has had a cold so for the past 2 nights we have been up every 30mins due to snorting himself awake. The upside is that his lordship is much less aloof and deemed me worthy of cuddling him, and ha ha wanted to sleep next to me all night, so enjoying that anyway. I thought BF babies were meant to be super healthy!

Have not managed to decide on curtains, oh the pressure, but have bought some useless fripperies like hurricane lamps and seat cushions to make me feel better. I would like to say that I was also chatted up be a lesbian, but chatted up I mean was told to "shift your bum" and by attractive lesbian I mean "fat geordie bloke". Was also upset in a shop when I was there with my precious bundle in his baby bjorn, then a lady with a crappy yappy dog came in and everyone fussed over it, whilst ignoring N who poor thing was trying to smile at them! Horrible ladies.

well done debs baby!! You'll be awaiting tonight with baited breath.

Wobbly Its f'ing raining here so its a tough choice between us spending all day in the rain with them or them coming here again. Have decided tho that i will find something really important to do and leave dh to it cos he tends to just zone out and leave me to make small talk.
D had a cold but it didnt bothert her too much it bothered me more that she enjoyed wiping her snotty fasce on my clothes My lesbian was less than attractive tbh,they dont normally like me cos im too blonde and girly,they scowl at me instead.

Hello all, hope you are all having good weekends.

deb am really pleased for you, long may it continue :)

wobbly at John Lewis making you feel safe, I know what you mean there! Poor N with the cold, can you give him anything for it? Am a bit clueless about Calpol etc.

ledkr hope you find something important to do today (like shopping) meant to say, how weird about the other mn'er, enjoy the meet up.

I am tired despite a good night from dd (musn't complain ) and trying to muster up enthusiasm to start the shred properly tomo when dp goes back to work

Hi Girls,

wow so much to catch up on, you have been a busy lot!

ledkr Grrr at your PILs, i would make them stay out in the rain while you wave at them through the living room window whilst eating a huge feast! Although you could just fake a case of the runs?

ponyo sorry to hear about your DP, his parents sound so lovley and caring .

wiggles hope you have recovered after your day at work.

Sorry if i missed anyone else out, i have a fuzzy head today!

I have had a fab weekend, the balloon release yeaterday was very emotional, i met up with 2 ladies i have been speaking to on a netmums bereavement thread ( please dont shout at me, i love you ladies too). It was so good to speak to people in the exact same situation, DF also had a good chat with their husbands. We then went to lunch, cinema and then for a few drinks. FIL appeared at the balloon release, i had words with DF over drinks pretty much told him everything about his dad and how i felt about him now. Poor bloke was so embarrassed.

Anyhoo, hope you all have a nice day, im off out with mum for her birthday.

Ps ledkr i hope the outlaws piss off soon!

Jane what a lovely positive day you had,how nice for you all. Good for df to release some feelings too.
ponyo Why do you want to stop the swaddling btw? I would have carried on cos its so sweet.but i moved to the bag which she wasnt keen on so never went back to re swaddling.I miss it tho seeing her like a little bug.She seems fine in just a baby gro now or her fleece suit if its cold.She is sleeping well at the mo touch wood i just hope dh doesnt bugger it up when im away in gay paris.

grr my pesky computer just deleted a post :(

jane so glad the baloon release was good and you managed to tell df about fil - bet he was

I know this is nothing compared to the misery of ledkrs PIL but I am sooooooooo at MIL today - she's said a few times she's free this week end in the hopes of seeing A. I've explained to her we are busy all week end and have told her exactly what we are doing so she knows we are busy, and told her we are not free this week end but maybe next. So, imagine my when she rings up this morning to say they are popping over at some point today to drop something very unimportant and non essential off . I told her we wern't free to see them a couple of days ago but she's started doing all this via DH to get more of a chance and still insists on coming. I offered her some times on her week off last week to see A but she was busy on those times so it's not like I haven't tried and I feel like if we say not this week end then they shouldn't turn up. I was all ready to invite them over for a whole day next week end since they won't have been for a couple of weeks and to sort of be nice to them for respecting the fact they have left us alone but that's out the window now. Everything has gone to pot today anyway as I'm ill :( so all plans cancelled and have been in bed all day (ledkr not fake illness - actual illness) - yet that won't put them off and they'll still come over. I feel so at them. I'm prob being unreasonable in my altered feverish mindset . Sorry - it just helps that this is the place I can vent anger about this and people actually understand.

Can I induldge in one further rant? They said they would come over to drop sth off, so they come over and see DH is out with A and decide to go away and come back later to drop off the very unimportant item that they just have to deliver in person as opposed to leave at the door/entrust with me . So, they are down stairs now having a 'very quick' cuppa (I'm counting the time to see what very quick means -so far half an hour). Meanwhile I'm feeling rubbish and in bed. I did come down to hand over A to them and got quickly asked how I was but I got ignored as soon as they had A. I just feel annoyed at them for turning up when I had told them we wern't available this week end and at DH for giving them a tea when he knows I feel rubbish (I broke down in tears in the kitchen a few mins when they were here and feel really about it). The only thing that makes me slightly is A has been making lots of unhappy squirking noises these past few mins. I think it's been EVERY WEEK END (and sometimes in the week too) aside from a couple when they were on hold they've thought of a reason to come over since I've had A. It's sad as if they stopped inflicting themselves like this and making me resentful I'd be so much more inclined to want to organise things with them. I expect led will come on and make me at even mentioning such trivialities but, if nothing else and if no one else reads this, it helps me to get it all out as no one else seems to understand the PIL thing.

reastie rant away, I don't blame you for being they are being out of order. You told them you were busy but they still 'pop over' - well in my book popping over means just that, 5mins no cuppa. I bloody hate people coming over unannounced or with 2 minutes warning, its rude in my v humble opinion. Grr I feel a bit on your behalf!
Plus its not like they havn't seen A by the sounds of it. Your dh needs to sort it out too. Good on A for squeaking (that does not make us mean mummies for saying that does it I was a bit pleased when dd cried at PIL)

ledkr do you know what I prob only want to stop swaddling b'cos I think I should if that makes sense - people on here have so I feel I should be too. Stupid I know. And its one more thing for me to worry about I shall have to chill and stop when she's ready - they do look very cute like a bug in a rug don't they. If your dh buggers up D's sleeping let him sort it out when you're back

jane so pleased to balloon release went well and happy for you that speaking to other parents helped. Was thinking about you yest wondering how you got on, plus the weather was lovely (i think - it was here?!) at your FIL turning up - at least you managed to have a word with df.

Am watching the tennis after waking up from an hour and a half 'nap' on settee Come on nadal!

ponyo I know what you mean about the swaddling, I feel like i am holding H back somehow! But he really does sleep better with it.

Do most people now put their LOs down for the night when they are still awake? I have to cuddle H to sleep tthen pop him in his cot or else he screams, not sure if this is to do with swaddling as he cant really self soothe all swaddled up!

reastie I am at your PIL!!! Bloody cheek!

Reastie,sorry you are ill and pil'd out too. Im sorry i never answered you by pm i just dont seem to find the time but it goes without saying im in your corner,i so know what you mean about plans to be nice and then they go and piss you off so you dont. This is my theory after musch musing. The in laws are the only people in life who we dont choose to spend time with,rather they are thrust onto us and are involved in very personal aspects of our lives too.
So they maybe very unlike us and have different views and mannerisms and attitudes.
When babies arrive we are expected to be even more involved and unless you happen to be very similar the clashes will happen.

I went clubbing with my dil on Friday cos we are quite similar iyswim?

I wish i had anawers,i feel so sorry for dh and really want to make things better but it never gets easier and i think someof it is my intolerence.

We have just been for a meal with them before they went home.They actually paid for it too
D woke up just as we had our meals (of course) and i started to feed her,they finished their food well before dh but didnt offer to have her.I had to sit and watch my food go cold until dh took her. (he had offered before btw)
After the meal we just sat there for about an hr,not eating just sat there. Dh was nodding off. D did a pooh and fil looked horrified and was turning his nose up,he also does this when milk comes out of Dillys nose due to her cleft.

I dont know how to deal with it,I often think id rather be on my own than have to deal with it all for years.The only thing is when D is older he can chip off to Essex and take her and me and Els can have some peace.

I think if you are naturally a private person and a bit protective of your dc's then it is hard to have pils popping in,think yourself lucky tho they done have to flipping stay over and eat.

Vile points this visit. Fil sucking his weasly fingers after eating cake.
Fil allowing Delilah to suck his hairy hands!!!!! How do you stop that politley?

Hello
Glad you had a good weekend Jane and that you came clean about fil

Hope peace has resumed once more in the ledkr household.

I did L2 of the shred today - she's kidding right? mizk that last one with the press up jumpy things slayed me!

Anyway after canceling a night out with my bezzies as I was just too frazzled, I am now in A&E with Mikey who has pulled his elbow. Poor mite is asleep on my chest now after the nurse dosed him up with calpol. He was with dh when it happened and cried for ages butthen calmed down in the car so can't be too bad...(hopeful) dh feels terrible. And my roast was in the oven!

Sorry I have ignored many posts, even more frazzled now than earlier!

suzy,d started to self settle a while ago,i discovered it by accident when took a while to go to see to her when she moaned. She makes a fair old deal of it mind,head thrashes from side to side legs kick,then suddenly she's asleep. It does take the pressure off abit. I rock her untill she is relaxed but nearly asleep and then put her down,i practiced it in the dsy before trying it st night. Before this she was a hardcore rock to sleep girl

ah 40 i hope hes ok,how di it happen? I did level 2 and have been in agony in my tummy since,will resume torture tomorrow.Let us know hes ok.

suzy we try and put alice in asleep but it doesn't always work. We usually start off putting her in with the curtains drawn nice and dark, then, if she moans for a while we stick a sooting baby classical CD on (actually works quite well - think she now associated it with sleep). If that doesn't work then we stick a dummy in. If all that doesn't work I end out lying her next to wherever I am until she drifts off and very ocassionally I've had to rock her to sleep. If that helps.

Alic decided to poke herself in the eye earlier - what a scream . She's now got a really red looking eye. Just hope it doesn't turn into a black eye as when hv comes on wed I'm sure she's going to look when I explain it's as she poked herself in the eye

ponyo I was watching tennis too - can't wait for wimbledon

and of course when I said PIL been here ever weekend except when they were on hold I meant on hol as in holiday . I think I've asked this before but does everyone else see their ILs every weekend at least if they live quite close (as in inviting themselves over on an excuse every week end when they arn't invited over)? I feel really :( as if they didn't do this all the time I'd be happy to make longer arrangements to see them at week ends but the more they try and pop in like this the more I don't want them to and the more of an issue it becomes and the more I want to avoid them and make myself busy at week ends (which clearly doesn't work as they come over anyway when I say we are busy). I'm just feeling so darn can't you tell . Where's ledkr so we can share some rage? . Tbh I think mil is just that my mum lives down the road and I see her really often, but then, it's different with your own mother isn't it (and I do that during the week when dh isat work, not when dh and I have time together which isn't often as during week nights we are both so shattered after putting A to bed)? and mil seems unable to do down time with A so I get scared about her spending too long as A just gets so over tired and a nightmare.

man I must've spent so long getting there I'm so xposted...off to back check the led update

Oh and even though Ds1&2 spent yesterday at pils, fil still found time to pop in unannounced TWICE this weekend, so am in the Anti Pil camp too!

40 poor mikey hope you get home quickly and doesn't mean he'd up tonight

ledkr I know what you mean re: people doing disguisting things and you so want to tell them not to but it seems really rude. Things looking up with them paying though

Thanks reastie and ledkr I bet I sound like a broken record keep going on about routines etc, but I seriously dont know any of this stuff....why does no-one tell you??!! H is pretty crap at self settling and I am sure thats why he gets up at 5.30am, he wakes up and cant get himself back off to sleep. I know its not hunger as I have usually just fed him at 2am, zzzzzzzzz

Gonna try a dreamfeed tonight, not sure if it will work but the lack of sleep is really getting to us now. DH and I have had an awful day of snapping at each other and competitive tiredness :-(

reastie my PIL often pop in at 7pm on a week night when we are trying to get H settled for bed I almost wish for a weekend visit as at least then it would be at an acceptable time! So annoying tho, who calls in at that time when you know its baby bed time? I know what you mean about them getting overtired too, H is always passed around and then gets into an overtired frenzy just in time for them to leave, grrrrrrrr

I think it is the intrusion isnt it? Show somw respect for peoples time even if they are your family. That is what phones are for no?
Reastie what i would do when they drop in unannounced when dh not there is go out after a quick chat saying " sorry but i promised id -blah blah blah i didnt know you were coming. If dh is there leave them to it and have a bath or a mn.
Suzy i just got on with the girls bedtime and ignored them.If they choose to be hear at those times then so be it im not changing things. The baby whispere hads a nice section on sleep.I would like to be cool and say oh hes ok but i have to be honest and say D's early waking stopped when she could self settle.she was waking anytime from 4am and not going back to sleep,she now goes until 6 or 7. Theres no rush tho,i put her in the pram for day naps and leave her until she cries and then push the pram abit,i have reduced the pushing as time went by and she practically does it herself now.
At night you just have to be brave enough to let them have a tiny fuss,i think the rule is pat and reassure if upset or pick up if desperate but put down when calm. I have to be honest tho i left D to cry (tired feeble cry) for about 5 mins the first time she did it at night.and she's been fine ever since. She is one of the older babes tho 4.5 months.
Reastie did you see i replied