Feb 2011 - it's all about the shred

[reastie]

welcome everyone

reastie Are you bonkers?! Don't wake her, if she's hungry she'll let you know!

Jane I saw those cufflinks too, a lovely idea. A friend at work has a necklace with her kids fingerprints on.

wiggles Must confess I thought your name must have been something to do with Fraggle Rock?! Never thought of the Wiggles and like reastie I'm a big neighbours fan and remember Karl's take on them well.

Rough few days here, R has been all snotty since the weekend and although she's been sleeping fairly well I have been sleeping awfully. I ended up having to call in the cavalry on Tuesday because I just couldn't cope-she was screaming which is most unlike her, and I was totally sleep deprived. Lost my voice totally yesterday so DP worked from home and got his parents over to look after R while I got some extra sleep.

But onwards we go...this too shall pass!

Bah. Gazzillion cross posts. and goes to catch up...

chocoroo sorry you're having a tough time. We all know there are ups and downs but it doesn't make the downs any easier or nicer. I'm actually feeling a bit fed up at the moment. Tuesday was a really cr@ppy day, and I feel like I've taken a big step backwards and ended up calling my Mum in tears which I so did not want to do because my Dad has just come out of hosp after an op so I wanted to leave in her peace to look after him (although he's doing great, which is great!). I just felt like such a failure and have been a bit teary since.

I'm actually not sure if this is just a normal slump or if I'm falling back into a hole again. I've started thinking again about how long my maternity leave is (as in, only 11 more weeks then I don't have to spend any more time doing this alone), which is not the way I want to be at all, and I had got out of that, so am a bit about feeling like that again.

I don't know if it's normal, if it's because C is difficult (she's probably not, she sleeps really well, but reflux and feeding is and always has been an issue and I'm soooooo tired of it), if I'm just wallowing and need to pull myself together, or if I'm just shit at this .

ponyo think you might be spot on with the growth spurt theory - have been googling it. She's been really tired in the day too so adds up. So it seems the incredible bf sleeping through for 11 hrs uninterrupted baby might only last a few days

choc glad you got some help in - makes all the difference doesn't it

Oh dear, how needy can one post possibly be...

d you are NOT rubbish at this. You are coping amazingly well - you have a relfuxy baby and PND - there will be up and down days - everyone here has days/momments where they want to give it all up and just go back to their past life (I think) no matter how much we love our LOs. I think it's natural - we've had to make such a life changing adjustment to everything. I have momments of loving this change and at peace with my life but also when alice is being tricky I often burst into tears, feel like I can't cope with it any more, wonder whether I made the right decision, feel fed up with the fact that I'm stuck at home so much and isolated that I don't yet know many other mums in RL with a child of the same age. I think what I feel is normal . It's definately worse when alice is a handful so having a tricky baby must be alot harder on a daily basis. I don't know how you are in RL if you know what I mean to know if you have pnd back again, and if you're worried then defo see your GP, but I just wanted to say alot of your feelings are normal (well, to me they are anyway) so don't feel you are letting yourself down in any way whatsoever.

D you're not being needy, I look forward to time alone too, when I went back to work for the day, it wasn't leaving A that made it difficult it was the actual organisation!. I find feeding really stressful and A is a good feeder with no reflux, I am dreading the weaning stage, I feel that I am really shit at it and get so stressed. I find that everyone had different baby stages that they are great at, you are finding being alone with C difficult now, I find weaning and proper interactive structured play difficult and don't get me started on baby groups I can't do them at all

I went back to work when Sofia was just short of five months it was brilliant - she was great, really happy with her creche and grandparents and it has done her the world of good apart from her new found Justin Bieber obsession It helps to get it all down "on paper" and don't worry your Mum is probably glad to be able to do something constructive to help xx

delia un-mumsnetty hugs to you, I second what reastie and wiggles have said. I hoe today is better for you x

restie has A woke up yet? You should have been tucked up in bed taking advantage of the long lie!

wiggles I don't think DF would appreciate the adopt an animal, not his thing. However i think it is a FAB idea, especially the bear, my nn for Zoe is Zoe bear.

chocco hope you feel better today

Thanks reastie and wiggles it does help that I'm not alone. It just feels like I must be really unnatural at this. I guess I sense (and probably knew before I had a baby) that I will be better when she's a bit older - I'm excited about weaning as for me it will probably be the start of reflux getting better (I hope), and I just think I will 'get it' more when D is eating 3 meals a day, sitting up playing, tottering around etc. That's what I want. But then I think it's probably really naive to think that it will be better when...when...when because each stage is going to be hard. And everyone keeps saying things like 'savour every moment, it goes so fast', which just makes me feel like even more of a freak because I really am wishing these months away. I am just seeing going back to work as 'not having to do this anymore', which really, is pretty terrible.

You know what, this is what ante-natal classes should be about, this.

D

Thanks also jane (x-posted, wasn't ignoring), really needing hugs today, and am yet again in awe of your strength in being able to offer support to self-indulgent people like me.

Dx

Oh crikey I've done it again, with the needy post thing.

Sorry, I have in my former life been...you know...nice, and clever and interesting and funny etc. Now i'm just a whinge-bag.

Am now feeling a bit better after getting that off my chest tho and am seriously going to pull myself together, I'm sure I can't just sit here and cry ALL day?! Even babies don't cry for like...a whole day...or do they?

D

Shutting up now.

D in my former life I was funny, slightly more exciting, out all the time and possessed an expensive bag collection, albeit all on the never-never Sometimes when I read my posts I even bore myself!!

Delia, I must reassure you that we all go through stages of what your going through. I have been avoiding Noah napping in his cot this week as get so stressed about it! I've also quite naughtily tried Noah with baby rice to get him to sleep through the night and tried hungry milk in his last feed yesterday and he threw up really badly. I was a complete mess, crying in front of Ben, blaming myself for it all as I'm so desperate fir a decent nights sleep! It's such a lot of responsibility I'm sure we all want to walk away at some point or another!

Delia You are definitely not a whinge bag. I have the easiest baby in the world and I came so close to losing it the other day. I'm just grateful I could call on people to give me a break. And I also find myself looking forward to going back to work...I just need some part of the old me back.

Thanks for the good wishes Jane. I'm loads better today and have just cheered myself up more by ordering a highchair for R and a door bouncer thing...I'm a danger with a credit card!

D whinge away, if it makes you feel better. I have started to write a diary thing, and it really does help to write down my feelings as a way of release.

choco you should be cheering yourself with new shoes, not a highchair

Do you all want a laugh? After i dropped the kids off at school this morning I went for a jog, oh what a laugh, me trying to run!! I really should have thought it through, no sports bra and my big boobies do not mix! My jog turned into a brisk walk

d if it helps I'm a bit the opposite as I love alice now and I don't want her to grow up - I'm not looking forward to weaning her and I'm scared about how I'll cope when she can run around and I can't control what she does (control freak emoticon). Whereas you can't wait until the next stage I'm dreading it - we all have different times, like wiggles said, where we enjoy parenting the most - look at it from the position of how much you have to look forward to in the future - visualise all those fun play times you have to come (and, yes, they will all be as perfect as you imagine )

well, alice woke up after 11 hours

I'm thinking of backing out of the baby group today and starting next week. My rationale is 1. I have an ear infection and can't get drops until tonight so not in the mood 2. dodgy back from attempt at aerobics - don't fancy sitting on an uncomfy chair for a couple of hours which will make it worse 3. it's not something I've told anyone there I'm going to go so I'm not letting anyone down 4. you can drop in any week, it's not like the beginning of a term have to go type thing 5. don't actually know if it runs in half term . I've done a really good job at talking myself out haven't it . I know all the points bar the last one are trying to get out of it type excuses though . Only thing is if I don't go concious (sp?) will get better or me and I'll ring MIL to see if she wants to come over see A

well, lucky you lot as I have never been funny, interesting or exciting

jane well done you on the jog - do you feel better for it? When I was learning how to jog (there is a nack ) I used to do a min jog, 3 mins walk etc etc and gradually increase jog time and decrease jog time until I could jog about 10k with pretty much no walking [eyes glaze over at wonder that I was once sort of fit] . Of course now I could barely even walk the 10k

Jane There may also have been an emergency dress purchased last night for me....hem do on Staurday and none of my black dresses (which is what we have been instructed to wear) fit right.

Reastie I was going to go to a new baby group on Tuesday but used pretty much all the excuses you have just mentioned and didn't go. I will go on Tues next week though....

Jane I've been for a couple of 'runs', the worst was when I bumped into some friends walking their dog while I puffed up a big hill! Thinking of going for a big walk in the park this pm though after I've been and picked the car up from the garage. £180 for two bloody tyres!

i mean increase jog time decrease walk time

reastie that is an impressive list of reasons not to go! You don't HAVE to go to baby groups you know, it's not the law or anything, and to be honest when I went to a few, it was in a trying to convince myself I was getting 'out and about' type thing. And there nodding and smiling and kind of pretending that it was all fine when really it all felt a bit lame. However, it was kind of a means to an end, as I did meet the two other Mums who I am doing water babies with, and I would never have gone on my own, so in that sense, it did its job, but it does feel lame.

wiggles handbags and shoes, yes they are all gathering dust at the mo! And I have one (not very close) friend who is still all about the handbags and shoes and I really just don't know what to say to her anymore, not because I now think that is all too trivial for words, but more because I can't explain how the yearning would make it all harder. It was actually weird at C's christening because all our friends who have kids (who we previously thought had become a bit dull and baby obsessed) were the ones who we could now relate to, and the couple who were our fellow childfree friends (who we went on loads of exciting holidays with and spent ludicrous amounts of money living the high life with) were the ones who we just couldn't relate to. We have crossed the great divide that people like to think doesn't exist, but actually totally does. I am now one of those dull baby-owning people aren't I?

Also for C's christening I wore an outfit I had worn once before, but with dull flat ballet pumps, when the last time I wore it I had some beeyootiful Pedro Garcia's that I wore with it. Such is life.

PS I sometimes type whole posts then just delete them as they are too boring for actual web space. I nearly did that with this one.

Anyway, you've all made me feel better so thanks for that, this has been like some kind of therapy session this morning. I honestly don't know what I would have done without you lot!

Dx

D glad you're feeling a little brighter.

jane I first attempted the Shred without a proper bra - bloody jumping jacks nearly resulted in black eyes

Ponyo meant to say - saw your thread in feeding - Anna does this the odd time too, I don't think there's anything wrong with her but I find if I get up and walk and rock her and try and slip the bottle into her mouth after five minutes she calms down, but she really screams, is quite unerving but I can tell she's not in any actual pain. Over-tired as the car ad used to say

D your posts are never too dull for web space. I admit to doing that too though , and, given how long and boring my posts are you can only imagine what rubbish gets deleted . I'm only really going to baby group for same reasons as you - I want to have friends in RL with babies the same age just can't be bothered to go through all the politeness of doing it IYKWIM. You also have to chat to quite a few people before you find one that you click with and just can't be bothered . I will go next week though...

Left a message with MIL at their home to see if she wants to come over to see alice (MIL has the week off and keeps asking if I have any spare time). Didn't try her mobile, she's got the message at home and if she doesn't get it in time then she will miss the opertunity (I'm such a bad DIL ).

I am lol at the thought of wiggles explaining how she got black eyes

delia you're really not alone with this and talk away if it helps, I think the main thing that's helping me are the tablets! Anyway, want you to know I'm thinking of you.

wiggles brilliant! Thanks for making me spill my tea, I knew there was a valid reason to resist shredding!

reastie hope you get another good night tonight, make sure you make the most of it and sleep. I understand the feeling of not wanting them to grow up and will join you in the control freak club!

I'm off to have coil fitted today, dreading it. Oh and to make it better thought I'd throw in my smear for luck. I have a confession to make in that oh and I haven't dtd since b was born as 1) I'm too tired and 2) I'm petrified of getting pregnant again.

well, I'm glad I didn't go to baby group as I'm feeling rubbish now with ear infection :(

needto are you having copper coil or hormone one? Please keep me updated with how you find it once its in as I've got an apt to have one fitted later this month and am feeling about it. Btw - I tried to have one inserted a few years ago (long story) and took nurofen about an hour beforehand and it really helped as I did get periody cramping afterwards.