April 2009 Episode 14 "Operation Kill is standing down."

[AuldAlliance]

Voici FWs!

Hee hee

Doughnut, what's wrong with being naked in public?

Doughnut - just read your post. So sorry you're going through so much shit. I am sure counselling will help you, just let it all out. And whatever you do, do not let that man near you again. It's great that you are making an effort for George, and you should, but try not to get emotionally attached because he will hurt you again. I don't need to tell you that sleeping with him was a bad idea - but I've been there too, and oh my did it hurt. It took years for me to get over that particular guy and I hadn't been married to him or had a baby with him!

YOU DESERVE BETTER.

Just got distracted by DD1 calling from upstairs that Hazel had dropped my hairbrush into the loo...

Schulte, you crazy nude German It's amazing how many people have done such stupid things for men. We're otherwise sensible women. We should know better. & we do deserve better. But it's easy to say when I don't have to see him & he's not pursuing me. But I will have to be strong.

I hope the toilet was flushed?

Still with my family, so still on my iPod. Proper laptopping tomorrow :)

Nope - DD1 had just done a poo and Hazel sneaked round behind her and dropped the hairbrush in. By the time I got upstairs, DD1 had fished it out again.

Better her than me!

[vom]

Schulte- EEEeeeeWW!

Respect- you need to find a way to close the door on that part of the relationship... I took the chicken's way out when I was dealing with my X and played the actual part he had suggested I had been playing (when I most certainly had not been), and basically told the big most horrible lie of my life...I would not suggest doing anything so silly or juvenile. But I admit that the door closed firmly between because 1. Acted the part of a 'typical' female. 2.I told a terrible lie that he believed and 3. I told a lie so vile that I was way too embarrassed and sick with guilt to ever go back on/be able to correct. I still cannot forgive myself completely for telling it. I needed an out and I was desperate and not thinking clearly; it's no excuse, but I use it as such because it did in the long run get me away from a bad relationship. And I did learn a valuable lesson from both the relationship and the way I ended it.
-you're far more grown up then I was at the time, I can tell by the way you talk about things so I do not see you falling in that trap. Plus you have the counselling so that'll help you find the closure you need.

Nice!

MIL has departed :o, taking DS1 with her until Friday:(.
We have moved on from cushions... Yesterday she started going on about how we should plant potatoes in our garden. DH said, "let her talk, it's not as if we have to actually do anything she says." Ha!
She has bought a box of seed potatoes, dug three long furrows in the garden and given me a 15 min lecture on how to plant said potatoes. She will call me early April to tell me when the moon is waning and I can plant the buggers.

I don't even want potatoes in the garden.

Since her 2wk visit after my knee op, I have learnt that she scolded A's lovely CM, complete with wagging finger, because she smiled at sth MIL said when in fact it was deadly earnest. And the mother of another wee boy the CM minds, who is pregnant with her 3rd child, the eldest being from a first marriage, told me MIL talked at her in the street for ages, saying how hard such setups are for kids, how much they suffer from it, etc. The mother trudged home in gloom. MIL had never met this woman before that day.

I am ashamed and embarrassed.
Why can I not be mature and zen about her? She winds me up soooo much.

x-posted, bebe.

The "nice" was in ref to the poo-besmirched hairbrush, not to your past behaviour, obv!

If there was a way to be zen about MIL's they would package and flog it on here. And then perhaps they could get rid of the annoying ads. Has anyone tried ad blocker?

Yes...MILZen sounds a good idea...mine is making digs at her own son because he's not paid his sister (we currently have no access to our accounts because the cards!!! have gone missing...Things keep going missing in this apartment and it's really bugging me!) She knows we have no access, and yet she's still making jibes abt the money -without the cards we cannot do standing orders and when dh tried to use his telephone banking code it did not work either grrr.

So do any of you children get 'caught' on a phrase or word and keep repeating it over and over and over? Also sounds, like Moo will say 'Look k k k k...' and repeat the 'k' for ages...

It's a nice sound to make k k k k though isn't it?

it is a nice sound... but like anything once repeated too often you begin to grit your teeth

I heartily agree

Hello lovelies; back on my laptop.

I'm not even going to look at my iPod / drunk typing. The combination is not good

I can't bring myself to read all of the lovely things you said again to comment on them right now. But I will when I feel a bit more stable. The fact that you even took the time means so much to me, never mind the content.

I started divorce proceedings today. Hideously costly & a bit traumatic, but I left feeling quite relieved, amongst it all. Like I'm taking back control. That's passed now & I feel crap again. But at least there was a brief moment! I think that'll be how it is - moments of things being not so bad occurring more often & lasting for longer, gradually. Until I'm happy again! Or that's the theory. Now I have no money, after paying her & my rent today :( That doesn't help either. But at least it's started & I'm one step closer to moving on. I have no idea if I should expect him to contest it. He won't at first, but he has a few months to cool down & anything could happen.

Practical question - I want to get rid of my engagement & wedding rings. They were not originally expensive anyway, but I'd rather have the money (however little) than the rings. Does anybody know the best way to get rid of them?

Auld, I love hearing about your MIL. I seriously feel for you, but she's like a comedy character. You're so lovely & normal & try so hard, & she just wafts in with her insanity & insults & passive aggression. She's scripted to perfection

Bebe, Moo is so much more advanced in her speech (& learning another language now, too!) than G that I can't really compare. I can imagine that it gets a bit wearing (!) but I seriously doubt it's anything to worry about. They're just playing with sounds at the moment. G makes all kinds of bizarre foreign-language noises within his English words, because he can He's part-French, part-Spanish, I think! & my sister asked him what he wanted to drink with his dinner in German yesterday & he answered her (in English, he's not that good!), which scared her a bit. I don't have any explanation for that one. He's clearly been Skyping Moo

Schulte, any word on your niece? x

Respect- good job getting thru today! You're so wise and amazingly level, I am in awe of you. I'm sure you'll be ok, but it'll be as you think with a few days all going ok, then maybe a night. And slowly the tears will not last as long, and then they'll all but go...And then it'll just be an ache in your heart now and again. (hugs) I hope you come to that part quickly.

As for Moo and her language I had a talk with my mom (who's a primary teacher and has done loads of child development courses) and she said as you suggested (see you ARE so intelligent!) that it was most likely her playing with sounds...she suggested the circling phrases was her probably trying to figure something out in her head about the phrase, whether it was sound or rhythm or even a more abstract idea having to do with the objects or events involved. She reassured me that when we came to visit there was nothing that flagged to her that Moo might be a bit too obsessive (as was my worry). She did say it she was still doing it at 6 or 7 that would be cause for concern.

Auld why your MIL being so very helpful!!! From the outside it is rather funny, but I dare say I'd be and I have to say the fact that my MIL tends to stay away is a very happy thing. I think they mean well, but where does their tact go in old age??? (Something to file away for when I'm an old lady)

I intend to be even more tactless in my old age than I am today

Doughnut, thanks for asking. Niece is doing okay, she was moved from intensive care to cardiology today. What they did on Tuesday should have been a quick investigation but because her heart stopped, it has taken a long time for her to recover this far. She's drinking from a bottle but can't quite master the breast yet and I am in awe with my SIL for expressing all the milk for her every day, for the second time. They are trying to treat her condition with beta blockers and need to get the dosage right so she won't be allowed home until it's all working as is should. It's so lovely to know that you people are following this saga, and care... she's only so tiny but there are people who know about her already.

Doughnut, divorce proceedings are wearing, I initiated mine but it still hurt. Keep going, one day you'll look back and it won't mean much any more. I can't even remember properly what happened on the day we had the court hearing.

Dinner is ready! More later. Lots of love to all and Auld, your MIL is clearly nuts.

RTD - You are fabulous. I want to take you out and drink tequila slammers. In fact let's do that in the summer?

Schulte - Is it your brother or DH's? How are he and his wife coping?

RespectTheDoughnut - can't help on how to get money, but when my friend got married for the second time she had her wedding ring from her first marriage melted down and made into a ring for me as my present for being best woman.

Seemed like a very fitting use for it.

Just saying a quick hello before I go back into the study and try to persuade nasty Virgin broadband to behave. Been at it three days now.

Schulte, thanks for the update on your niece. Fingers and toes crossed.

RTD, sorry I have no advice re rings. You sound in control, though, which is great.

I feel even worse for moaning about MIL when others are going through upheaval.
I have just learnt indirectly and very late in the day that a friend from where we used to live died "in dramatic circumstances" in January. Puts it all in perspective, really.

I am going to stay with MIL (with the boys but w/o DH ) from Fri eve to Tues morning. I have to pick DS1 up, it's a min 5hr drive one way and I need to see my FIL (her ex-husband) as he is giving me his old laptop since mine died recently. I am full of resolutions to be nice, zen and graceful.

RTD - Melt it down and forge a bullet

Thank you again for all the kind words & support. You're lovely women. Lovely, ingenious women with ideas of bullet forging. Now that would be apt The best woman ring idea is sweet though. I'm not sure if I'll ever get married again after this debacle. I may become either a nun or a lesbian. I'm not sure which yet - they're more or less the same, right?

Auld, please don't worry about moaning about your MIL! Everyone's worries are equally valid anyway, plus she's highly entertaining. You've put me in mind of that poem about 'When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple...' hang on. This one. I think it's something to aspire to, although I don't see a line about being psychotic over cushions & gravely insulting strangers. Perhaps you could get her to modernise it? I have images of the two of you sitting down to pen a little something over the weekend. It could be a fabulous bonding activity What kind of 'dramatic circumstances' caused the death, if you don't mind me being nosey?! Were you close? I hope you're not too upset & I'm just picking over your grief for a bit of gossip

Bebe, you have the curse of a precocious child. If she carries on as she is, you'll always have something developmental to worry about because she simply isn't 'normal' You'll just have to lock her in a cupboard without stimulation until the other kids catch up a bit

Boff, I hate when my broadband plays up - it's embarrassing how much I rely on it. I break out in cold sweats if my router takes too long to connect after it's been off for the weekend when I'm away (& being very cheap green & turning my power off).

Schulte, I'm glad that your niece has been moved out of ICU, but obviously there's still a long road ahead. She sounds like a proper little fighter, though. & your SIL is doing amazingly to still be expressing so much, under all the stress & without any direct boob stimulation, too! They're obviously a family from good stock. Hopefully they'll get the drugs right & she'll be home soon. That's half the battle. I think about her a lot (life might seem tough, then you think about having a tiny baby in hospital... :(), so please keep us updated.

& most importantly of all , let's get our diaries out for some tequila scheduling, Puzz

Speaking of locking her in the cupboard... She decided she needed to take a rest in the wardrobe yesterday and brought in 'pi-yos, banky, and teddy bear and bunny, and joos' She then promptly closed the door (ni ni Mommy) and disappeared for 15min...(I stayed on the bed laying there until she popped back out). Wasn't sure if I should let her play in the wardrobe like that...worried about being locked in fridge's and other terrible places...

RTD, the idea of MIL and I penning anything together is unthinkable, really.

I love that poem, though.

When I posted last night, I didn't know how my friend died, and my googling only dredged up that "dramatic circumstances" phrase.

This morning I have learnt that she killed herself, but know no more than that.