April 2009 Episode 14 "Operation Kill is standing down."

[AuldAlliance]

Voici FWs!

Auld that is truly terrible. hugs

heaven help me!

Hello everyone,

Gingersarah here ? I?ve been posting under this name as well for a while and thought I might as well merge the identities.

Schulte ? best wishes to your niece and her family.
Auld ? So sorry to hear about your friend.
Bebe ? did you get the Doppler? How are you?
R the D ? stay strong. What a lot you have been through. I think the best thing you should do is put in some very formal processes for George to see his father which make it super clear that the pair of you don?t have a relationship any more. Easier said than done but I really think you need to give yourself every chance to get well clear of him. Is there any way that someone else could be the handover person when H takes George and brings him back? At least for a while?
The blatant lying in the face of your perceptions is very strange ? very immature and also if you don?t mind me saying so, rather creepy. He has done that before, if I remember correctly? He is going to cause other women a lot of heartache in the future if he carries on like this. Please, please don?t let yourself be one of them ever again.

I am 34 weeks pg today and getting very tired. V is hilarious and very strong willed ? and (in my extremely PFB opinion) adorably creative with her tiny vocabulary ? a bus splashed water all over the buggy this morning and she pointed at the stains and said ?oh dear! Picture on the pram!? which I thought was very cute. Hope you don?t mind me gushing, it?s unforgiveable really. I thought she was oblivious to the new baby coming, but actually I think she might be deliberately oblivious. At the weekend when the baby was seething and writhing so you could almost see 3D hands and feet, she completely refused to look and averted her face. In the supermarket, when I put little nappies in the trolley saying, ?for the new baby? she picked them up and threw them out. I think I need to buy a book, a nice unthreatening book with dear little pictures about a new baby coming to a family. (That?s my solution to everything ? buy a book ? you should see the state of our house)

Best wishes to all FWs

vezzie, 34 weeks already?! I know that for you it will have felt like a lifetime, but to the casual observer... Bless little V trying to ignore the new baby into disappearing. It's all just so unknown at the moment - she will adapt. I'm like you with the books, though. I have books for everything, including homosexuality. Highly relevant to a 1 year old

The arrangements with G are pretty good anyway. I only have to see H every other Sunday, because the CM is the middle man the rest of the time. I have G every Sunday though, so that's the only thing. A brief handover once a fortnight should be okay. At the moment we each send one text a day, saying that G is at the CM, or that we've picked him up. That is the only contact. I'm getting used to it now, but it was very strange for the first few days. I'm just going to have to accept that I'm not going to know what George is doing when he's not with me, instead of having a commentary like we used to. George will be able to communicate more soon anyway, I suppose.

Auld, really sorry to hear about your friend :( It must be awful to feel that desperate. I hope you can find some understanding of the situation if that's what it'll take for you to move on a bit. It must be very hard to take in.

Bebe, G is like that - he'll get in his wardrobe & shout 'hidiiiiiing!' until you knock & he opens the door like Lord of the Manor: ' hellooooo? ' - & we went to a different soft play than usual on Sunday & he spent a good 15 minutes sitting in a locker rather than playing on the many toys. They're odd little things, aren't they? I'd not really thought about him climbing into dangerous things. G wouldn't climb into a fridge or freezer anyway, because he hates being cold

Vezzie, make sure the baby brings her a big, fat, extravagent present on arrival.

Broadband working now - run an old wireless box as a slave and now it's doing most things I want. I don;t know why I had to spend 3 days working that out when I paid Virgin to.

Bicnod, thanks for asking. Due on July 26th (race you!). I'm feeling 100 times better now and starting to get little rummagings from within. How's things with you? How's the wee man sleeping?

Puzzle, are you feeling any better? If it is a muscle strain (and I must stress I am diagnosing you on t'internet here - you must go and see a proper doctor if you're not sure) it can go on a good few weeks. Intercostals are tricky because you can't rest them and you tend to keep pulling them turning suddenly (lugging about toddlers?). Have you been taking paracetamol/ibuprofen as often as you're allowed? Hope it goes away soon.

Happy Birthday Bebe! Hope you're feeling better.

Schulte sorry to hear about your niece. How awful for you all. How is she doing now? Sending lots of healing thoughts.

BB are you still sick. I don't think I realised how crap I felt first trimester until it all went away!

RTD, you are doing the right thing. He is being a manipulative shit because he can. I'm glad you're not letting him any more.

AA, I know I've said your MiL is mental, but I feel it needs said again! Good luck for the long drive on Friday. Practice your smile in the mirror. I do that when I'm going to see my own mother!

Hello WFH and Boff.

Vezzie, lovely to see you. I'm watching your posts with interest as a guide to what I'll be doing in a few months time! And gush away - our toddlers are all utterly gorgeous.

Much chat going on in our house and an alarming amount of evolving. Although I'm finding that TW requires much less in the way of cuddling now which makes me a bit . Maybe he'll have a relapse when the new baby arrives!

Love to all xxxx

Good plan, Boffin - I have a meeting with the Peppa Pig toy man next week so maybe he can sort something out for us. ("PIIIIIIIG! PIIIIIIIIIIIG!!!!!!!" Sound familiar to anyone else?)

Hi Zulu! Glad the sickness is subsiding - it is really horrific.

I think I need to start a thread in preparation for my maternity leave entitled: Things To Do With an Almost Two Year Old When You Are Barely Mobile.

A good play-dough recipe?
the best easy healthy biscuit recipe?
good websites where you can download colouring type activities?
What else am I not thinking of?

Fortunately there are good children's centres that do Stay and Play where you can batten off other people's energy for an hour or two. Who knows for how much longer...

Oh gosh - 'PIIIIIIIIIG! PIIIIIIIIIG!' sounds very familiar

Other things that G likes in that vein are simple jigsaws (you could sit at a table so you're as comfortable as possible), splashing water between different containers (messy, but perhaps put a shower curtain or something down with a washing up bowl of water & some cups?), dressing up - bangles are a big favourite - & playing hairdressers, that sort of thing. You can just sit still & make encouraging noises & get your hair 'brushed' every so often (you can mostly direct the attention towards any dolls / teddy bears!)

I'm seriously impressed with you pregnant ladies with your toddlers. I can barely keep mine in one piece - last night he jumped off his table head first into the tv stand & made a huge egg-shaped bruise on his head. This morning he bruised his ear. Yes. His ear. It's a good job my CM knows that I'm not beating him, because SS would be on to me like a shot if someone felt like reporting me! He just flings himself around & won't be told. Even after the big one last night, while I was still debating whether or not to take him to A&E, he was climbing back on to his table & jumping off with no regard for anything he may have just learned. Sigh.

Also, H's phonebill just came out of the (still) joint account. It's a good job I checked, because it would've stopped the CM's cheque from clearing - it's more than double what it usually is. I'm trying not to think about it :(

BB I have PMd you.

Vezzie, tbh I would use CBeebies a fair bit, but I am a dreafully neglectful mother ...

I know I am being really pathetic and overemotional about this but I am feeling a bit tragic about the lack of understanding about how difficult and painful it is when you can?t walk. I was forced to pull out of a concert I was really desperate to do, because I attended the first rehearsal last week and it completely broke me for days. I apologised as fulsomely as I could to the director, and got no acknowledgement at all except a curt little message days later from his administrator telling me where to send the music back to. It is obvious that he is furious with me. Now I have just made an idiot of myself by bursting into tears in the street with a colleague when I was supposed to be going to an external meeting ? she said she was going to order a cab but I didn?t know till the last minute that the FD had nixed this and suddenly I was out in the street watching the other people disappear into the distance while I hobbled and I completely panicked remembering how messed up I got when I went to the rehearsal last week and burst into tears. A man came out of a restaurant and asked me if I wanted to come in and sit down, which was very kind, but because I am such a self-pitying mess it just made me feel even more tragic that strangers are kinder than the management of the place where I fucking well work and drag myself into every fucking day in increasing pain. GRRRRR

I know I should be saying something to someone about this but I am so crazy at the moment I can?t decide what so will have to stop myself firing off emails about being DISCRIMINATED AGAINST or something.

You need a visible symbol of incapacity IMO - crutches, a wheelchair, mobility scooter, something like that. People will start being more considerate.

washable painting suggestions for dd?

Milk does a body good... woke up this morning to find I'm obviously lactating again...
Dh said, OOOOOooh! Gooood Morning Mommy! (men)

Hope this morning has found you all uplifted too.

Vezzie how are you feeling today?

Vezzie that is truly terrible to have to deal with such rude, thoughtless behavior from people you work with on a regular basis. I am really rather speechless on your behalf and I think I would have burst into further tears when the stranger tried to help me... I do not know how or what to suggest, but Boff may be right some crutches or something that you can beat them over the head with might do the trick. (I'm assuming that's what she meant )

As for what to do with your child while taking it easy... What's V like in general? Is she doing a lot of play yet by herself, or does she need lots of attention?
TV need not be a bad thing, talk to her about what's going on and make it as interact as possible.
Get a number of totes together of art supplies, small toys, train track, etc which are easily dealt with by V and does not need your person hands on experience, just you to make sure things don't go awry.
If you don't already have things available to play with near a comfy spot for you, I'd strongly suggest it. I'm finding with Moo for instance I can even be laying in bed for about a half hour but we play with her dolls or little petshop toys, hiding them in the blankets or changing their nappies...let me tell you 'changing' a dozen animals nappies can be very time consuming, especially if you get your lo to wipe and do the 'work' of the change (sometimes I even get Moo to bring me a little 'tub' and we 'wash' the animals because they were just too poopoo )
We do a lot of make believe play too, where I make forts with the clothes horse (and she plays house) or we sit on the couch and pretend we're in a boat, or we throw all the cushions on the floor and pretend it's an island or a big boat and she gets all her toys and they play together.

Good morning

DH has just hobbled off to the NHS walk in centre. His dodgy cruciate ligament is playing up again. We went to Whipsnade on Friday and he looked quite pitiful shuffling behind us, poor lamb.

Whipsnade was fab. The hippos made quite a show of larking about in the shitty muddy water and had Ellen in hysterics.

Sorry to hear about your friend Auld.

Bebe - Did you get the poo out?

Vezzie - V does indeed sound adorable, no apologies needed. I hope these next few weeks are relatively comfortable for you. Do keep us posted.
And stop being hard on yourself. You may be feeling over emotional but others have hardly been sensitive. I would still consider sending an email but then I have become rather fond of taking people to task. Just ask the young man working in my local Homebase

Zulu - Still sore but as I have never had a pram/pushchiar for Holly and still carry her about quite a bit then it's my own daft fault. I'll just have to ride it out.

The poo, yes mostly. Tho I seem to have bleached the spot with just the baby wipes [can't win smiley]

Dh has taken Moo out for a walk while I try to rest and tidy the flat a bit... not exactly 2 things that go hand in hand ;) but both need to be done. So I clean for 10 and sit for 15. She's been so difficult at night waking up and wanting a drink, taking forever to fall back asleep...Wish we would have had room for her bed at home, then I don't think we'd be having these troubles. Tho once we did get her back to sleep we finally managed to have some one on one. So at least the grown-ups in the house are a little more relaxed.

Right off again.
Hoe the weekends are going well.

Hello hello

RTD / Schultes - hugs. RTD I hope this is enough to make you realise the type of person he is and the type of person you deserve and Schultes keeping everything crossed for your niece.

Vezzie - grr for horrid people, I am only 2 months and I am already furious at people that wont give me a seat on the train (as I am puking into my sick bag).

Bebe - wow your mothering skills put mine to shame. K gets a few car noises when we are playing with the garage and he gets to feed me the make-believe food he makes on the wall but other than that there are no boats or houses to be found!!!

Zulu - ah no, I still have it and it is so very much worse than with K. I am literally sick about 15 times a day. Got midwife on Wednesday so am going to see if I can get those nausea tablet things. ANYTHING to make it calm down a bit.

Boff, will look asap today.

Puzz, hope it gets better soon.

Right off to pretend to work whilst trying not to be sick in the office.

Thanks everyone - thanks Bebe for your good ideas.
Puzzle, I want to know what happened to the poor Homebase person!
Are you any better today?
Sorry to hear about all the tiredness and puking.

So I need to ask you opinions
I've not made any contingency plans yet if this next dc comes early...We're due back in the UK at 37 weeks. Moo was a week early. What would you do in my position? Hope it doesn't happen, and I get home in time (seems likely) or make some sort of plans? but what really can I plan? the biggest problem is Moo would need some place to go during the birth...you cannot bring kids in can you ...
(the only reason why I'm asking is someone asked what I'm going to do and 'what if?' and I was like??? didn't get that far (I'm only 14 weeks!) and suddenly, as is my habit this pregnancy, I'm stressing about it) :(

Hi Bebe, have you got the health insurance thing sorted out yet? Because you should be having regular ante natal checks and at those you can talk to the mw about what contingency plans to make.

You have lots of time to make friends (perhaps with kids of their own) who would be glad to make Moo in an emergency. I have done this for friends twice, for two births, and it is a great honour and makes you feel very special! I would say that the priority tho is to get plugged into a health system of some sort because even though you will almost certainly have dc2 on time as planned, you should have someone taking your blood pressure and dipping the little cardboard strips in your wee on a regular basis - and someone you can talk to about this and any other little things that might come up that would be good to go over with someone.

Still waiting for the card.
I've got wee sticks and been checking blood pressure as I wait for it to come.
(I'm not entirely sure that the ob/gyn I'd be seeing (you don't see MW here) would be someone to talk to about what to do abt Moo (assuming they speak enough English to have a real conversation with). Tho I suppose I might meet some people yet...hoping to get a working German phone soon so that I can make calls without having a massive UK phone bill. And might be able to get into a playgroup then.

BB - That sounds rotten, you poor thing. I hope you get some relief from the tablets.

Vezzie - Homebase lad got a stern ticking off and I got some free store vouchers. Now if only someone at Dyson would be insolent; my vacuum cleaner is on it's last legs.