September 2010: windy bums, weaning starts to loom!

[comixminx]

A starter for 10 on our Sept 2010 babies as their first Christmas comes nearer! Can't believe we're there already; I was barely pregnant last Xmas!

I really don't get why people feel the need to be so judgemental about other parents' choices (when it is a choice) re breast vs bottle. It just seems so obvious that as everyone's situation is different, then different things might be right for different families. Ulimately, so long as the parents are fully informed then they are the best people to weigh things up and judge what is the best thing in their context. I'm really glad that I was encouraged to stick with breastfeeding when I found it hard at first as it was what I wanted, and is now going really well for us, but if we had decided that ff was right for us, I would want that to be supported too. I've heard of so many people struggling, some having decided to bf, some to ff, and meeting with at best unhelpfulness, at worst actual hostility, it really make me .

banana I think it's fine to take him. I went to loads of funerals as a child (we have a big family) and I don't remember any issues. I'm sure your aunt would have been happy for you to bring him and I really think there's something kind of uplifting about new life after a death. Your family would probably love to see him too.
I've also found that my friends have all but disappeared. We've always tended to congregate at the pub I work in because we live all over birmingham. There've been a few times when I've been in town with my sister and we've popped up there to find they're all meeting up. I'd understand if they were going to a club or something but they're just hanging around there, which we can do too. I've only actually seen 3 of them anywhere but the pub since Orlaith was born.

melly you just brought a tear to my eye
Starting your own business might give you the flexibility you need with children. As long you have childcare etc worked out it could work out really well for you.

chelle Aswalia used to be on the antenatal thread, she actually introduced me to it. She still reads it with me when I'm on and she's around. She's joined the fb group even though she doesn't post on here.

It's funny how there are so many twins on here and in our family's. We're as common as muck these days!

Sorry maple for crossed postes!

I'm ffing now. I wanted to bf but was so exhausted after a 68 hour labour that I didn't do anything right away and didn't realise how important that was. It was 16 hours before I tried to feed her. The support I had from MW's for the 5 days we were in hospital was so varied and conflicting I actually found it unhepful. I know there's no kind of failsafe idiot's guide to bfing but it was so hard when 10 mins into trying something I'd been told, someone else would come along and tell me I was doing it all wrong. Many tears were shed in those few days! The women in the room with me kept complaining to the MW's about me and about Orlaith's crying which didn't help. Then they'd come and practically force me into giving her a formula feed. Then I was talked into expressing and they just decided that that's how I'd feed her and sent me home. I dried up after 3 1/2 weeks and have just ffed since then.
I still find it upsetting that I'm not bfing because I feel like I failed. But I know she's healthy and having formula isn't going to harm her. It's upsetting when people are so judgemental about ffing and lots of bfing mums have made me feel guilty. Although, in hospital all the ffing mums made me feel guilty too. I can't win!

Ok, rant over

I always forget, Orlaith 11+1

saoirse omg that sounds horrific, but unfortunatly there are always similar stories. I ff ds1 because i was physically exhuasted and felt forced into bf by the midwives while the rest of my family forced me into ff, my MIL was the first to give him a bottle, and then promptly stuck a dummy in his mouth without asking me... this time round i'm bf with the occassional bottle of formula too - im a much stronger person now, and ensured I wasn't dictated too by anyone

After such a truamatic birth experience you would have thought that the health proffssionals had more sympathy with exhuasted mothers, but no, they too are overworked and underpaid. I had a prolonged labour with ds1 too, so can sympathise with you, those other women on the ward should be ashamed of themslves..what a way to behave.

Don't feel guilty for not bfing, you know what is right for your child and yoursef, you know why...cos your her mum. I honesly hate all this stuff between ff and bfing, as if mums and dads dont have enough to worry about ffs

on a more positive note, my house is lovely and clean, I've found out that Samson can self soothe as long as the vacuum is on. Anyone else found that white noise helps baby sleep?

Thanks imnotperfect

I find the vacuum works wonders too, it's surprising my house isn't cleaner really!! Although I'm quite lucky that over the last 3 or 4 weeks she's got really good at self-soothing, possibly because she's so big (about 13lbs at 11 weeks). That's apart from the last few days because she's been ill. The poor things just wants lots of cuddles, but I don't mind too much !

saoirse I know it's easy to say, but please try not to feel like you've failed. I felt like that at first as I had really wanted a 'natural' birth and ended up having a cs, but in the end we're both just trying to do the best we can for our LOs .

Oh, and at the other mums in the hospital. There was a lady with a very cryey baby across from me, and all I wanted to do was crawl across to her and give her a big hug (when Louis wasn't howling himself that is).

I remember that well. I had twins and they stuck me in a room where none of the other ladies had had and the their babies yet!? And it was the night that Jacob decided to stop breathing, go bright purple and i had to press the emergency button. MW came bounding in, took one look at him and rushed him off to resus. As you can imagine, I was in a right state and not quietly! Said to Mw next morning, these poor pregnant women probably hate me!

The problem is, you can't say why you have chosen bf or ff, without someone thinking that you are saying the other is the wrong choice!I'm all for saying how you feel but you don't have to be so bloody mean and judgemental about it. I wouldn't ever bother having a debate with them about it, it's a circular argument that goes on and on and on. People should just do what you want to and let others do the same. Not difficult really. I think women are their own worst enemy sometimes.

The whole bf v ff debate really annoys me because it always seems to make people (including me) feel like they have to explain themselves. Its a very personal thing & often there are feelings of guilt & failure if someone doesn't bf. I know I've done the right thing for my boys & nothing anybody can say will make me think otherwise.

Ds1 fell asleep eating his tea tonight! So so so funny!

Feeling a bit better today. Am going to get together with my friend tomorrow & sort things out. I hope if we have an honest chat about how we both are feeling then we can stay friends.

I know what you mean sassy34264 I was induced with both mine but with ds1 I had to stay in so was in labour in the antenatal bay. When my waters broke the pain seemed to quadruple and I was quite vocal. Heard a woman behind the curtain say ' I dot want to do this let's go home'!!! I felt very guilty but I did get moved to the delivery suite soon after.

saiorse86 I'm amazed someone would complain. Sounds like you didn't get any help with breast feeding let alone bad advice! It's terrible that midwives push bottles on mums who day they want to bf, sorry you didn't manage to feed the way you wanted to but you really shouldn't feel guilty at all!!

Luke 12w+5

How did you get on without the dream feed chelle1986?

When I had ds2 the hospital was only just opened and it was awful. Women were labouring in rooms where there were new born babies and visitors! My cousin had someone moaning about her baby. Lucky it was not her first so she was quite ballsy and just laughed it off telling said first time mum that her first born was v quiet so keep her comments to herself she may not be so lucky next time round! Some women can be so ignorant! I always wonder how they would feel if the shoe was on the other foot!

On the ff v bf note. My sil had to ff due to cs complications. She was really hoping to bf as hadnt worked out with ds1 cause of latch issues. Would you believe one of her best friends wouldnt talk to her for weeks (would actually phone her husband to enquire after her but not talk to her!) because she was so 'disappointed' she couldnt bf!! I just find it astounding people can act like that in this day and age! My poor sil was already gutted about not being able to, had a horrific labour experience and was then in agony to boot!

White noise - both Phoebe and Max would sleep when I put on either the hoover or the hairdryer! Great when you are in a jam!

Lovely day today - visited old friend and introduced her to Phoebe. Brought the boys to santa - just a nice day!

banana my family are funeral directors. Not an issue at all. Actually have never heard anyone complain about it unless child is roaring and family dont remove them.

Hi guys, just catching up - had a bit of a hectic day and DP still at work meaning he's done a 8am - 9pm shift today poor man. On his way home now. Was supposed to finish at 4pm!

Cinnamon - well we have just put him to bed again now and the previous 2 nights we didn't do a dream feed (last bottle at 8pm) and both nights he slept for 9 hours!!! Straight! No waking up or nothing!! Lazy sod! Not that I'm complaining of course - he did 8:30pm to 5:30am both nights! Am hoping for a third night on the trot!

I didn't sleep well last night on the other hand as there was a rather large bang somewhere in the house at about midnight and I couldn't get back off to sleep properly!

On the teat note - I've tried size 3's today but he absolutely wolfs it down and doesnt settle as easy afterwards? Am thinking of using size 2's at night and 3's in the day - does anyone know if this will be an issue??

Olly - 11 wks 2moro.x

Oh and banana - re the funeral I took Olly to our Uncles funeral a few weeks ago. I hovered near the back during service so i could run out if need be - but the family requested that we bring him. He really cheered people up at the wake - know that sounds weird but he kind of took peoples mind off it?! Sorry for your loss.x

saoirse Ditto I feel much the same about ff Jack. I can't believe the hassle you had with mvs in hospital. Well, Spose I can really as my whole time in hospital was laughable it was that bed my hv is still ringing to see if I ever complained!
Jack is absolutely thriving on formula and my mum ff all three of us and I swear for all the 33 years she's had us, the worst any of us have had is the flu! So I would always question people who say ffing isn't healthy.
banana I'd definitely take him to the funeral..... I think people would appreciate the joy he'll bring!
I'm wondering if the size 2 teats are what's keeping Jack from drinking more than 4 oz but he does splutter a bit at first which makes me think the flow is plenty quick enough?? So hard to know what's right to do!
I'm absolutely shattered although DH slept downstairs with J last night so I could catch up and then work today
Will definitely be back with abundance soon and chelle I feel the need for a fb chat! .... oh and friends called their boy 'Noah' x

that bad! Hahahahahah

Morning all,
Just thought I'd share. We had DP's uncle staying this week. Isn't it amazing how a 75 yr old man who's never had children/step-children or worked in a child-related field can have so much helpful advice to share . Cue much tongue biting from me and DP. I get lots of brownie points for being good though .

chelle at the 9 hours. Long may it continue. We went back to 3-hourly feed last night

malple I win, we went back to hourly feeds for the last three nights! [fsleepymummy]

I find it seriously annoying how everyone seems to know exactly what your baby wants. Orlaith literally does nothing but make general baby noises and movements and according to pil's she's in pain with wind ! They tell me all the time how much worse everything was when DP was a baby as he cried ALL the time. I'm not surprised with the way Orlaith gets chucked about by them. They have her in all kinds of uncomfortable positions that apparently will help her with her 'wind'. So she starts whinging and it just fuels the fire. Leave her alone!

All quiet on the western front today guys? x

saoirse, it's funny, both my mil and mum think it's wind every time arlo starts crying. He's not even that windy after he's fed! If he's crying he's either hungry, tired or bored, but immediate reaction from both is 'oh dear, a bit of wind/tummy ache'! Definitely a generational thing!

Arlo just napped in his cot for the first time - he's still sleeping in his Moses but normally just naps in bouncy chair or on mummy during day ! He woke 3 times but to be fair it's his first time sleeping in that bed and that room. Think we will get him sleeping in his cot after Xmas but want to keep using Moses for now as we'll need him to be happy in it while we're away over Christmas.

Arlo - 10 weeks tomorrow

Hello lovelies, had such a busy wknd celebrating my DD's birthday, it's actually tomorrow but as DP working all day we decided to spread it out over a few days and also so it's not just a mass of pressies all at once!

It's been lovely I am so proud of her and I can't believe 3 years have passed. We got her a dolls house which she loves and she's had lots of other nice bits and bobs and she'll have some more stuff to open tomorrow.

Knackered now night night

Hi all! Can't believe how quickly this thread moves! Haven't had chance to catch up properly, sorry and just in a break during Xfactor so thought I would post my news:

Harlyn slept in his cotbed last ight for the first time and slept from 12 till 6:30 without making a peep! hoping for the same tonight fingers crossed x x x

Happy birthday little mellymooks!!

Update on the great gran christmas money for those of you who remember she'd given us it twice. I couldn't keep it so took it back to her today. Before we had chance to give her it, she tried to give us more! I told her she'd already given us it twice & tried to give it back! She wouldn't accept it! Just said she was sure the boys would want something in the future, clothes etc! My conscience is clear!

Had a good chat with my friend too. Told her I felt she'd been treating me badly and I was very sad! She hadn't really realised & all but admitted that it was her way of coping with their problems. I know people will think that thats not fair on me but as long as I know thats the reason I'm fine with it. You always take things out on those closest to you & there's absolutely no other way I can help her.