Dec 08 Ladies - LIghtning Strikes... and the usual gossip!

[Beans33]

Hope this works for everyone - I'm assuming Summer won't give birth in the next few hours!! x

And sorry about your shoulder - hope its not too bad a fix.

With dear sis, it all got a bit much when they started explaining that her weight hadn't changed before and after a BF, but 50ml of formula showed up as 50g. I can understand it, but I had to keep very quiet. BIL is a mathmo type, so its all a bit much. They even weighed her poo and he calculated that it was the equivalent of an adult poo weighing about 2.5kg.

Gosh, lots of cross-posts there. Hello Rubes and Invis. Sorry you are missing your parents Rubes.

Oh right, I see... I must admit I just quickly read your post and haven't been following the convo about it really, and then commented I really want to read the book now though!

It's good on family dynamics, so it will def strike a chord with anyone who's had IL trouble!

Crosspostastic....
That's full on Invis......

Hi Avo.... I always get like this - in fact I've known you lot for long enough, that I'm sure you've experienced my sadness when my family visit and go home. It's better these days, but I get so down for days on end sometimes about how much it sucks that they have to live so far away. It's not Winter yet so it could be worse. I'll be ok.

Oh and I meant to say thank you to those of you who said supportive things about my phobia. SL, you asked what exactly I fear - mainly its me being sick, but as a result I fear seeing others be sick (watching it reminds me of how much I hate it and I also get scared that I might catch their bug). It sounds like I am moaning about nothing as nobody likes being sick but unfortunately I am capable of obsessing about it for hours a day. Its interesting that LadyT's MiL had the same phobia and dropped out of medical school because I also applied to medical school, and always wanted to be a doctor, but when it came to it I could not face the fear. Nowadays I never let the fear stop me doing things. Its like a badge of honor, I will not miss out just because I can't control my phobia. I will not be "that" sort of person. I make myself do everything including things that used to make me quake (e.g. I have travelled around Africa and the Middle East, I go on boat trips and roller coasters, I have got pregnant twice... all things that often make people ill). However, although i make myself do everything my enjoyment of many activities, including parenting, is marred by the fear that I might be sick at anytime.

I am fully aware that this all sounds stupid written down. Thats why I am determined to try again to knock it on the head.

On a lighter note, it was DD's birthday party today and it was a great success. I made the humpty-dumpty cake that I was wittering on about last week. Pics on FB.

Thank you very much ladies

Rubes, the cheerfulness in my hand is also straining to be at all cheerful I am so sorry the folks are gone. Must be absolutely horrid. I hate saying bye to my Ma and she is fewer than 100 miles away so can't imagine what it's like for you - or for those whose Mums aren't around. I hope you have got some nice little things planned for the week to take your mind off stuff. The shoulder complaint - what is it precisely?

I find it hugely funny that Brits are considered stingy when it comes to bringing stuff along to bbq's etc. Ha! I didn't know! I love being English but simultaneously I can laugh wholeheartedly at what a bunch of dicks the English are (sometimes far worse than that too, mind you, not so funny then) and I do always enjoy a joke at my compatriots' expense. I think any English person who takes himself seriously would do well to consider the Dark Ages, when the Romans cleared off and scarcely a vestige of culture or civilisation remained amongst the indigenous population So shaming.

You are both right, in that I am sure I will feel better soon, so thanks again for the kind words. Just got to grope my way through the next few weeks, to the light at the end of the tunnel. And as for the work stuff, I won't realistically be able to improve that situation until the New Year so I need to stop torturing myself about it.

Oh, and Effie - hope the boys are better.

Oh, LadyT, you just need to be eavesdropping on a room full of middle easterners on the subject of anglo-saxons - the stereotype is tight fisted alcoholics! But I think that comes down to different ideas of what amounts to generosity. And human kindness is human kindness wherever it comes from. Having had a mixed up kind of upbringing, I do find culture clash fascinating - its just people at cross purposes on the whole.

And of course you'll be fine. But do allow yourself a mope or a cry on a friendly shoulder if you need it in the meantime.

Ah, hello Avo, I have x-posted with a stack of posts there. Good heavens, I had no idea your phobia impacted on your life so comprehensively. Brave you, for doing all that stuff that could cause you to have to encounter it. Yes, in the 1950s, not that many women got into university to do medicine so it must have been very galling. I do so hope you can find someone really good to help you. It takes such courage to confront these things.

Going out - well, DP has a lot of work on until DD2 is born. This means that my getting to London in the evenings can be a little complex. We were only discussing it this morning. He has to be home to take me to the station, or I have to take DD to where he is to handover, so unless he is in Oxford or Reading it doesn't work - and then I have to either get a late train back which means he has to drive to get me and leave DD in bed, or I have to get a train back at 6 in the morning. But yes, I do need to sort something out, even if if it's just a couple of nights before DD2 is born. As to Mum...I can't bear her worrying about me even for a second so I always tell her everything is fabulous, whether it is or isn't.

I bet I have cross-posted lots again. Thank you again, ladies, as you have genuinely made me feel better. And Invis, I had to smile at the poo-weighing.

Tightfisted alcoholics! The awful thing is, it's probably not a bad generalisation! I don't think we are a nation of good and generous hosts. Same as the old chestnut about Brits being all repressed

Lady - sub-acromial Impingemen (pretty common basic shoulder injury apparently) Can happen without really knowing what the initial cause was and then just gets worse and worse. Apparently it happens when the space between the ball and socket joint becomes aggravated, often through trauma but sometimes with no identifiable cause (In my case) but once annoyed, becomes inflamed, and swells, then gets compressed again then with any arm movement and a vicious cycle formed. As you continue to use your arm you continually feed into the inflammation cycle and the condition perpetuates.

Wow Avo, didn't know you had that phobia. Hope you can tackle it. I have a friend with that, but also has / had OCD quite badly.
Hope you can tackle it. I know all about phobias - not ideal.

Lady, nothing planned except 6 week check, and shoulder Xray plus REST ds /dd permitting

Oh ladyT am so sorry you are feeling so sad. Wish I could give you a big old squish. Things do seem to be a bit of a fog for you right now. All I can say is keep ontalking to us all we are all here for you whenever you need us. Xx

Rubes bit of a squish your way too rubbish saying bye to family.

Avo your cake looked super. Also it doesn't seem silly having that sort of phobia it is a completely understandable prob.

Jump how are you gettig on?

Spot knew you would like the flat.

Had an afternon in town on my own today. Trying to sort out an outfit for this ruddy wedding. As it turns out the bloody store I got the jumpsuit from do not give refunds so I though sod it will wear it with some very high heels and sod anyone who raises eyebrows at me wearing something for people under the age of 25. Oh also had some much needed waxing why she thought after waxing my nether regions I would then want her to pluck yes pluck the few stragglers. Ouchy!

DH just grunted what are you doing so best sign off.

Ooh, I have heard of an impingement, one of my cricketers had one. It sounds excruciating.

Jam, I am telling you that jumpsuit will look cracking with killer heels.

Must drag sorry ass off to bed. Goodnight lovely ladies.

ladyt - sorry to hear you are so down. and the situation with dh's friends sounds very tricky. you will pull through - just keep going, as you say.

rubes - sorry you, too, are feeling down. it is v hard to say goodbye to people who are so far away. when i had an ex boyfriend who lived in israel, i found airports the worst places in the world. hang on in there

avo - i've heard of that phobia, and it must be terribly difficult to deal with. i have been so grateful in my life that my vomming reflexes are well and truly in working order - helps physically with so many things. well done for tackling it. good luck. and well done on that cake - you are all domestic goddesses. i made my first cupcakes last week - there were cases, but no cupcake tin, so they spread a bit, but, my, they were delicious. even with the wrong sort of sugar, lumps etc. will do so again.

kiwi - no advice here re: insomnia (see time - been up for 2 hours now and promised dh i would get up with madam as he's done it 4 mornings in a row). sometimes cheese on toast helps, sometimes crap telly, sometimes just insisting on lying in bed and going through some relaxation techniques. i do know that you can get in a habit of waking up and you have to break it. i use benylin original (i.e. not non-drowsy) to break a cycle, but apparently i'm not supposed to take it in pregnancy (whoops, done so a few times already with no.2). i think the secret is keeping calm. also, knowing that however bad you feel now, you'll be ok. i've always been amazed at how much i can get done on how little sleep - as long as i am feeling perky in myself, sleep doesn't matter so much - it is the misery lack of sleep brings with it which is the killer.

sure i had something to say... dh's new radio series is being recorded next week - he is working every hour given him - he was asked to write the series in 3.5 months, when normally it takes him 5. he is right up against it. so last week i took myself and madam up to my dad's for 3 nights to give him some space. tomorrow we're off to visit friends in kew for 2 nights to do the same. taking madam out of the equation helps, i think - no worrying about whether she is going to sleep or not, no getting up at 6am, and having to do bath and bed in the evening. even if i do those things for him, i know he feels guilty, so i'm taking us both out of the equation so he can do his thing. oh, if anyone wants tickets for the recordings, on 11th, 16th and 19th sept - let me know, i'll get you on the guestlist.

i love the idea of the brits getting dissected by other cultures - being half german, there was a fair amount of this going on when i grew up.

night night all, or rather, good morning!

Eurgh, T didn't sleep til 8.45 pm, up 4 x in the night, awake at . Me up 4 separate times for a wee. Joining ranks of undead today, convinced it's cos he's not eating anything.

ok so i missed a whole page of posts! catch up later.

Oh dear Spot. We had an early wake up but have returned boys to their room with a banana and a biscuit . The benefit of sharing a room .

Lady: I take my hat off to the way you cope everyday with all that's going on. I would be hiding under the duvet whimpering. I think ex-friends should be banned from writing books. May all those who are being gits be stung by wasps (is it me or are they everywhere at the moment? Wasps not gits).

Jam: I think you will look great in the jumpsuit. Why is it only suitable for the under 25s? Not as if it will reveal your knickers, unlike many of the outfits I have seen in N Essex.
Phone going funny on me' so better post this quick!

Avo - you poor love. Horrible to have a phobia. I used to be bulimic, so for me, trying not to be sick is quite a big battle some days - I used to be phobic about not being sick!!! V odd how people are so very very different.

Lady - I'm so so sorry you're feeling so low at the moment. We all think you're marvellous and funny and kind and generally lovely. And hoping some of this reaches into RL as well as just on here. We can come and see you now - I'm much more with it than I was - do you want a visitor at all in next couple of weeks? Would love to see you. And I want to squash in a visit to Rubes and Syb and Kiwi and ooh, everyone really! Try not to worry too much about everything and focus on the positives. I know this is your usual state of mind - you strike me as such and "up" person and I do admire you for it. Wish I wasn't such a big whinger as I am, when actually things are pretty cushty for me. I am thinking of you loads.

And to everyone else - meant to do big post, but DD2 wailing. She's been up a lot of the night. YAAAWWWWN!

xx

They weigh her poo! They are really going to have to chill out, that is too much, way too much.

Lady I think feeling blue about you DH is just something you need to kind of accept (for want of a better term). You were supposed to have a life with him & that was taken away from you both, & it really sucks. Don't feel bad that you have there feelings accept them & let yourself feel them. As far as being a failure, well you may not be where you want to be career wise but you have a beautiful, beautiful daughter & another on the way. The rest can wait for now. About those friends, I feel sorry for them as they are missing out on you.

Bugger I meant to send this last night.

Rubs sorry you've had to say goodbye to your family. How about you & DD & DS have some snuggle time together. Also I'll be with you on the winter blues, I'm starting to get nervous already.

Wow so many posts. I wrote that message last night just before I went to bed and the last post I read was from Invisible on the weighing poo thing.

Jam I think you will look gorgeous, however, the shop may have a policy against returns but it is in fact not legal and they cannot enforce it. If you could be bothered pushing thr consumers rights side of it you could get a refund.

On the view of the English abroad, I have to admit to being one of those Australians who put a flag on my backpack so as not to be confused by the locals as English. As annoying as Aussie backpackers are the feelings towards the English does seem to run de3ep in some countries. However, some cultures could def learn a thing or two about manners from you lot, not naming any names....Surfbird!

Gosh Beans, I didn't know you had bulimia. Is it still a struggle? Strangely I am slightly less freaked put by the idea of making myself sick. What I hate is the nausea before and the uncontrollable element of vomitting. When I had CBT they made me stick my fingers down my throat to confront my fear but as I was alone and in control and it was a short, sharp exposure I coped. Sorry you are tired.

Quick question for everyone. DD2 hasn't had MMR yet. Scheduled for tomorrow morning. However I am now worried because I vaguely remember some of you talking about delayed grumpyness after MMR. Cld she still feel off colour 10 days after the jab? If so that's when we are off to my friend's wedding in Italy and I need DD2 to be on top form. When did your DCs react to their MMR.

Surfbird!!!! That was meant to be Dutchies.

WG I would so love to have tickets to all the recordings and even for a moment thought maybe I could organise a cheeky little trip to London by myself for it. But I've only just been, it costs & unfortunately that weekend is DH's birthday weekend. Would have been a nice present for him actually a weekend away there together, but no one to look after these two. If your running out of places to escape to so he can work you can always come here, you could take madam over to the old country .

Oh Avo, thank you thank you! You just reminded me DS2 has his last HepB jab tomorrow, would have forgotten. DS2 was a bit grumpy about 5 days after and it settled after a day or two.

Hey Avo - yes, definitely still a struggle. Yesterday I had to talk outloud to myself to stop myself being sick. But I stopped doing it (almost completely!) before we got married. BUT I have had the odd relapse, but not something I want to do any more!!! Find talking out loud makes me more rational. I just need to find the time to exercise more, then I won't get this grim fatty feeling that I have at the moment!

Re the MMR - DD1 did have some grumpiness, but I think it was more a couple of wakeful nights than big rage. And think it was 2 weeks after the jab. But I think it does just vary baby to baby...

Off to do a disco with DD1 now. I feel a bit of Take That coming on. DD2 watches happily. Probably marvelling at how ridiculous I look! We've been to the common already this morning and now back waiting for lunch really. DD1 has words like "snack", "cake" and "Biccie" in her vocabulary. Oh dear!

Just had text from DH saying he's got a terrible hangover after a great night on this stag in Blackpool - ended up in a casino. My heart bleeds. not. But so glad he'll be back tonight - but not til 8ish, so DDs will miss him again. Sob!

xx

Beans I think you might be due a spa day on DH to say thank you for all you've put up with lately with him going out so much!