August 2008 - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

[TwilightSurfer]

Our Toddlers' Birthdays
24JUL Alittlebitshy-H
30JUL MrsMiamla-T
31JUL DizzyDixies-D
01AUG CaptainCaveman-O
03AUG GladioliBuckets-K
04AUG VintageGardenia-E
08AUG Singaporesling-S
08AUG Pertelote-M
08AUG PoppySocks-E
08AUG HotterPotter-I aka THOR
12AUG CrispyTheCrisp- E
12AUG LuckoftheIrish-T
13AUG RedLentil-E
13AUG LWFH-T
15AUG Foghornleghorn-L
18AUG TwilightSurfer-R
22AUG No1putsbabyinthecorner-M
23AUG LittleNutTree-G
29AUG PetitFilou-T
30AUG Oopsandbabycoconut-P
30AUG Steaknife-I
01SEP Cyteen-J
04SEP Sambo303-F
13SEP Ataraxis-L
16SEP QueenofDreams-S

It's true, we are lovely . Right back atcha LWFH, it was a real pleasure to meet you and the littlies, and your mum and your friend L are lovely too. I always find it odd how easy all you Aug 08 gang are to get on with in rl. You'd think we chatted a lot or something . Seriously, if you haven't met lwfh you are missing out, coz she's fab . Apologies for the picnic fiends I bought along with me....

vg i'm glad it didn't pass by you without you noticing!

as for DD's name.... calm down girls, its by no means definite yet!!!! but its good to hear you all approve...but its not as if you'd dare disagree with a heavily pg hormonal woman

but no, her initials will not be PEAH! she would never forgive me!!

just back from the mw's appt, she had trouble finding her position because my 'tightening' was so strong and had to wait for it to stop before she could feel where Pea was. She's very much engaged She asked if i'd been having many of them ooh, having another one now!

pleased you had a good picnic girls

want to come to the meet up too Longway do you not fancy a wee trip to Bonnie Scotland?!

Miamla - L's initials are ARCD which said in a Scottish accent is arsed

ooh we're going to have another baby soon, we're going to have another baby soon YIPEE !

i need a break. reese half napped between shops and is not crying for exhaustion in her room. dd1 has been a pain in the butt most of the day. i wish i could just go "shhhhhhh!" and everyone would fall quietly asleep for a restful hour and wake lovely birds.

what on earth could be going haywire with my dd1? has been rude and nasty and shouty and hateful and angry and OH i could go on and on and on. we went to her requested spot for breakfast. we went to the stores she want to go to. we bought clothes we really didn't have to JUST because she like them. in every store she fussed because we weren't there to buy her a toy or even look through the toy section. she through a modified controlled fit at one store because she wanted MORE SHOES. the one pair she wanted were not even close to her size but that didn't matter she said she could MAKE THEM FIT.

i hate doing nice things for her because she's so bloody hateful. i'm lost because i can't seem to find a punishment that works and is considered civilized.

i love my daughter and she does have some good moments. it's just her bad ones are more often than the good and seem to overshadow everything.

she gets stuck on things too. she wanted her sisters meal toy. i said no but her sister handed it to her. the toy is a cheap piece of work and doesn't connect as it should. she fussed and fussed because she couldn't make it snap together. i explained that it's cheap and not properly made. she still wanted it and she continued to complain or better yet WHINE about it. i took it away and said i couldn't handle all the fussing. she fussed because she wanted it back. she's asked me 10 times since 2PM if she could have it back. i have told her 10 times that i am not giving it back to her. she just asked again and all i could say was do you NOT understand me.

it's insane!!

off to rock in the corner.

sorry ts, i've got no wise words for you but just wanted to know that i'm sending you a virtual hug and some more biscuits

miamla thanks for the biscuits. i don't want to bring the thread to a low point on friday evening after a wonderful meetup and a delightful name announcement (maybe announcement). i just needed to dump so i could get some perspective as well as share in case others are in the same zone. i've been hiding my issues for a few weeks hoping it would all just go away. it hasn't. she loves me so much she can't stand to be away from me but then beats me to a pulp with horrible behavior if things don't go exactly as she would like.

i am currently sitting on my king bed in the middle of a pile of unhung old clothes and new clothes that need hanging. why did i think we needed to go buy more clothes???

hey don't be silly, you're not lowering it at all. would some one to one time with her (without R) help do you think? perhaps she's missing having you to herself and is noticing it more now that R is interacting more and becoming her own little person

TS I have a 6yr old who can behave just like that too. I think they are testing the boundaries. I know with ds1 we spoil him and he gets pretty much what he wants (within reason), to the extent that now whenever we go shopping its the same as you describe - i want, i want, i want . With ds1 we have had to reign in his treats and learn to start saying no. For him, the biggest threat is saying we will tell his teacher! He's horrified that we could actually do that, and it makes him behave in an instant. Anything similiar to push dd1s button?

Hey dizzy, how long does it take to drive to yours?

it'd only be 8 hours and 9mins for me to drive to dizz's from here

oh and TS, if K has now got some new clothes, could you encourage her to sort out some of the old ones to give away to a charity or something?

lol! captain i've actually used the threat of telling her principal (that's the head of her school). sometimes it works but during the summer months without school it doesn't hold much weight.

i wish i could teach her to meditate. she seems to require constant stimulation. when she's not getting the stimulation she is making the stimulation be it good or bad (typically bad). she's not dumb but tells me all the time, "oh i forgot." seriously you don't forget something you've been told 10 times in a hour.

she stays frustrated and that can't be a good thing as you grow. i want her to find happiness in what she has not sadness in what she doesn't have.

i know that's all too much buddha but i need her to realize she is in control of herself; she can be happy and satisfied or she can be sad and fussy.

miamla how's the belly now. still tightening??

miamla that's a good idea but R gets all the old stuff.

Just popping on on my way to bed.

TS - these are the ones I used to use with the kiddies at work especially when the DD was about your DD1's age. they are very sinple and you can do them together initially then read them onto a tape for her to go and do instead of a timeout.

hmmm, no words of wisdom I'm afraid ts, I wish i did though.

Blimey TV is shite tonight . Dh is out with one of his old uni friends so I have the tv to myself, but its all crap!!

Perfect! Thanks Oops. I may sneak out to the bookstore after the girls are asleep and DH is on duty.

The sitting meditation worked best for her as she needed to think of someoone else not just herself.

oops, that's a really nice website. TS I hope that it helps. No wisdom at all really, although lots of thoughts. When things get tough for me I get my parents to pray for me - I don't think that you are religious, but could you get some specific people to think some positive calming thoughts for you all if this is more your kind of thing than prayer?

PS - when DS is very noisy in public (he has the loudest scream I know, with a small silence beforehand) I find that big relaxed smiles to anyone looking, along with a "I'm really proud of him, he's such a good kid, just a bit out of sorts today" helps me - I know that he is fab, but at these moments other people need to be reminded too.

TS just passing through on my way to bed but I am thinking of you, wise lady. Isn't your DD1 coming up for 7? From general reading on MN it seems to be a truth universally acknowledged that 7yos are utter hell - I'm sure ALBS had some stories to tell about her DD recently.

FWIW, K always looks lovely and relaxed in your photos (but I realise photos don't tell anything like the whole story). If she's temperamentally frustrated, as opposed to being frustrated by a specific thing, then all you can do is what you're doing now: loving her, setting boundaries, providing a great example of how to behave and how to treat the ones you love. She sounds very bright, which can be frustrating for small people who don't have the emotional maturity to go with it.

Thanks Oops will try some of that with my DD.

TS We don't have the public PITA stuff so much, she just goes moody teenager, but at home DD works herself into such a state. I totally see how you feel about wanting her to be happy, it's painful seeing them so unable to calm themselves down. But then the idea of us wanting them to be happy is quite a pressure in itself when constant happiness isn't real anyway so they might see not being able to attain it as a failure on their part (much like being 'a good girl'.) I feel I should be doing more to find DD some kind of relaxation training, I don't want her to develop OCD or freaky (freakier) eating habits or anything anxiety-driven that controls her life. Then again maybe I was lucky to meet DH so young, perhaps I wouldn't be so laid back if I didn't have my soulmate with me all this time. Life is just so hard for little folk, I was just thinking about how physical contact drops as they grow older too, am going to make more effort to cuddle DD.

Sorry, taking the opportunity to dump too.

Buckets I think of that hug issue too. That's where I get all torn up inside trying to set boundaries and not look like a weakling. I do hug on DD1 once she's calmed down and tell her how much I wanted her and how happy I am to have her and on and on. I know she'll hit that "don't touch me" phase probably sooner rather than later.

Cyteen I've been tempted to post a "moment" picture just to balance things out. Today I couldn't snapped a hundred.

All I have to say is PARENTING MY OLDEST IS WORK!

now on to happy topics: DH brought me chinese takeaway for dinner.

could've not couldn't....sometimes this spelling corrector thing isn't worth crap!

dd1 couldn't sleep so after my nightly walk i had her come outside and walk with me a few extra laps around the neighborhood.

we chatted.

she is so darn smart it's scary. she went off on a tangent talking about summer/winter solstices and daylight hours. the kid is 6!

she ALWAYS knows what day of the week it is and usual the date too. that all started last year in her classroom.

she also chatted about how she behaved today regarding the toys. she said i should have let her look at them because she didn't have very many items on her santa list yet.

she's also formulated a plan to have a yard sale so we can sell all the things we don't want so SHE can then go buy all the new toys SHE wants.

dh mentioned after dinner that last weekend, after i left for pilates, she asked him point blank if she could be the boss while i was gone. he said no, of course, but asked what she would do if allowed to be the boss. she said she'd go buy all the toys she wanted then make folks clean up her room so she wouldn't have to. THIS IS A SIX YEAR OLD!! boy to we have our work cut out for us with this one. LOL!!!

TS big hugs...

no great advice here either.. my dd1 is 4 almost 5 and we do have some similiar problems.. alot of it stem from the fact that thanfully like your dd1 she really is quite clever and always seems to know what she wants and how to justify it!!!

You are just coming to the end of summer breal aren't u? and dd1 has spent most of the time with u? with my dd1 i could not have her day in/day for a long period.. not trying to sound like a bad mummy but she gets incredibly bored being at home and gets very demanding and cranky!!! she currently goes a couple of days a week to a playscheme for the summer holidays... she really enjoys it, it uses up nearly all here energy so that the days she does spend at home, she is happy baking/playing with her sister or go out and about with mummy!...

not saying that what i do is a solution and i know that you are constantly entertaining her but maybe for nxt year?

anyway enough waffling from me

tightening MrsM OOOOOOOHHHHHH

So pleased meet up went well..

i think we should hire a mini bus to pick us all up and take us to dizzy's house ..

finally little rant from.. havig bbq on sun.. dad over today which is great.. got a text from step d asking if she could stay tonight as she is still having bad morning sickness and her bf is playing cricket on sun..

now i am going to be so busy 1. don't need to entertain anyone else til the bbq 2. its not my fault that her bf is playing cricket and cannot bring her down at the actuall bbq time 3. my complete sympathies re ms but if she she is feeling that bad i need need here moping about when i am trying to entertain/feed the masses.. aibu to just say sorry but i cannot accommodate u tonight???

Loti you are not being unreasonable at all, sounds like you have plenty going on as it is!

5.40 wake up call from O has resulted in me napping on the sofa whilst the boys watched tv

Ladies, there is a handsome man in my spare room!

Morning

Lovely time at the wedding. A little squiffy by the end but i reckon that is polite

DD1 was looking forward to dancing, but when the music came on it was too loud . bless her. DH ended up taking her onto the terrace outside and dancing with her there

TS Your DD1 is adorable and sassy and clever and quirky with the hard work which accompanies that. It sounds like your walk was good for her to open up to you (in 1 to 1 time). Her idea for funding her toy purchases sounds fab. Maybe when she disagrees with you in future you ask her to come up with a solution (such as the yard sale) rather than an imposed no?

miamla am LOLing at the name suggestions but will keep buttoned here as i don't want to upset the preggy hormonal lady . Hope the tightenings continue and the engaged one makes a smooth entrance into world very soon

LOTI put your feet down and say no if you think she will be a hindrance rather than a help with the preparations. Tell her to ask her dad to come and pick her up.

Glad you ladies had a lovely meetup, and please book me a spot on the DizzyBus grand tour