In the vein of "Chester draws"

[ShatnersWoodwind]

On a local selling page:

"Chabby Chique bedside tables".

😂

😂😂

Years ago, a uni friend said one day ‘guys, do you know it’s actually GRAPEfruit, not GREATfruit?’ I couldn’t believe she’d never seen it written down.

I work in healthcare. Lots of people are interested in restbite for family members. There was also concern for a young person - a colleague suspected he was a county lion and documented this concern (I was roaring with laughter )

Someone on our local FB group is selling a jacket with a sinched waist

I always like it when people go through things with a toothcomb

(Sometimes the only way to work out what people mean is to try reading it out loud very fast phonetically and then try very slowly - sometimes that helps)

Someone on a local Facebook group was selling a walldrope earlier this week.

I was looking at the Wayfair website a few days ago for a Chesterfield, and as I started to type this in the search box, I was very amused to see that when I got as far as 'cheste' the auto search actually gave me the option of 'Chester draws'. 😆😆

Strickly Come Dancing

Holy Reefs are available near Mum’s house.

To put on your door during the festive season.

My best friend of 30+ years wrote trickle treating in a text to me last Halloween. We used to bloody go trick or treating together as kids so how I've never noticed she's been saying it wrong all these years is beyond me.

But then she also says chimley (when that song "what's she gonna look like with a chimney on her" was out showing my age here she asked me what's a chimney)

Saw this sign a couple of years ago on holiday

Keir Starmer is the priminister.

Lots of kitchen stalls on FB marketplace

One seen on here earlier this week. Something had fallen on death ears.

Or as KS himself pronounces it: primister.

Plate wrack
winning the pooh picture frame
Slay bed
Lord loom chair

All on market place.

I can’t believe some of these! A place we go to in Greece regularly has Lamp on the menu. Lamp chops sound particularly intriguing.

Seen on MN today: "he wasent that into Carrie" & "she wasent the love of his life".
Not seen that one before.

One of my recent favourites from a FB selling group.

Just remembered another...for a long time an older relative kept asking if I'd seen Keef (Keith) Sharma on the telly and kept saying how well Keith was doing and that lots of people supported Keith and said he spoke a lot of sense. Kept asking me if I thought Keith Sharma was going to win. I assumed she was talking about Dragons Den or GBBO or something popular I didn't follow. It went on for over a year. Then the penny dropped...

"Everyone is saying that Keef's gonna beat Ritchie. Ritchie's definitely on his way out. He's got a bonny looking wife as well, Keef Sharma. I mean, Ritchie's wife is bonny too but I'm just saying she wouldn't be out of place with all the big wigs."

"Wait...do you mean Rishi Sunak?"

"Yes! The Prime Minister! Ritchie Soonack."

"Is KEITH SHARMA, Keir STARMER???? Is that who you've been going on about all this time?!"

"Keef Sharma, yes! He's going to be the next Prime Minister. Who did you think I meant?"

The whole time I've been imagining a stout, middle aged Asian man from Bradford in a pinstripe suit on Dragons Den. He'd become quite real in my imagination. I can still see him now.

Absolutely howling

I'm ringing about my emotion heater, it needs fixing.

A long time ago now but one of my pupils wrote a story which included a very dangerous "deftifying" drop...

I ve come to sign my Arthur Davies ( affidavit, divorce proceedings)

My neighbour works at Mataland.