In the vein of "Chester draws"

[ShatnersWoodwind]

On a local selling page:

"Chabby Chique bedside tables".

😂

Also “ Free reign “ is seen a lot on here- it’s “rein”
Free rein - eg giving a horse it’s head to do what it wants.

I used to drop the reins on my horses’s neck after a gallop - it meant to slow down and relax

Our local Facebook selling sites are full of people selling foot stalls.

A lovely restaurant we used to go to offered Aborigines cooked in tomatoes and olive oil. No cannibalism, just can't spell aubergine .

A friend emailed me to have a moan about someone who wasn't really that bad, so she said "but give her a jew......."

"Clique" pronounced "click" (looking at you Traitors).

A Londoner friend talking about her upcoming wedding. I still don't know if we're getting free drinks or three drinks. I'll take my purse just in case..

There’s the ever popular Rest Bite

And I like one I once saw on here, someone who couldn’t sleep for tossing and turning had had a wrestler’s night.

This really really irritates me. Hear it all the time.

I remember someone at school writing about a ‘damson in distress’. It was in an English class too so the teacher spent the whole lesson laughing at her and making fruit based comments.

CharlotteStreetW1

"Clique" pronounced "click" (looking at you Traitors).

Oh yes!
And groups of people who are "clicky".

(I used to live on Charlotte Street a long time ago)

@ShatnersWoodwind recently seen:
mindfield
pedalstool
condescending tumble dryer
risk adverse
chaise lounge
unchartered territory

Bran new
Tea Shirt

also have a friend who says “pacific” instead of specific

When people write my beloved angle instead of angel 😂

“Right of passage” annoys me. Your Dd is going to a prom not navigating the Panama Canal. It’s rite of passage.

The Smegma fridgefreezer
😂🤣😂🤣

An estate agent's description of a lovely old house included details of the large fireplaces with 'ingle nuts.'

Wait, what? Is that not what is is? A fine toothcomb?

This one isn't getting the recognition it deserves - smegma fridge 😂😂😂😂

Damp squid is my contribution 🦑

There was a childminder near me who called her business (Her Name’s) Angles. I always assumed it was meant to be Angels! 😂

Trickle treat 🎃

It's a fine-tooth or fine toothed comb. The teeth of the comb are fine.

Noooo. Not a tooth comb, why would you comb your teeth? It’s a fine-toothed comb. I.e. the teeth are close together so it’s more effective in teasing out tiny things.

So-and-so "woofed" their food down instead of "wolfed".

Another one I see here a lot is "tow the line":
<heave> "Where do you want this line towed to?".

I have just watched a video of a garage transformation, the end result is described as "sheek"

"Chester draws" is my favourite though. I love it when I see it on an advert

Anyone like to buy a puffy?

I've been getting it wrong all these years!!!!! 😱

Mind blown!