Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parties/celebrations

Whether you're planning a birthday or a hen do, you'll find plenty of ideas for your celebration on our Party forum.

Original poster

Tillyscoutsmum's brides and wedding chat

736 replies

teafortwo · 16/09/2008 11:50

Thread one was in chat - so lost and gown foreeeevvvverrr

Thread 2 is here...
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/2401/558352

Thread three is below... chat away brides to be, chat away!!!!!

OP posts:
MerlinsBeard · 17/09/2008 10:33

miamla: where do you live? People will prob be willing to travel

miamla · 17/09/2008 10:36

we're london but the problem is that the welsh guests include grandparents so its not so easy for them to travel any distance
not sure i want to get married in wales though

Original poster
teafortwo · 17/09/2008 10:38

clayre - we x posted!!!

Actually I discovered once you chuck everything traditional out the window the choices of what to wear and what to do become so vast you feel quite overwhelmed!!!

Good luck - you will have lots of fun - I am sure!!!!

We decided to have a professional photoshoot afterwards - Not 'wedding photos' but a 'photo shoot'. We ended up spending the most money on this out of all the wedding costs BUT I would seriously recommend it!

We are giving a photo to each of our Mums who weren't there on the day and our witnesses too to say "Thank you". And keeping a few for ourselves. Our photos are due anyday and I can't wait to see them!!!

It is really nice for our Mums and nice for us too to have such good photos of the day.

OP posts:
beanieb · 17/09/2008 10:39

mind if I do add myself

NewlyWeds

DifferentID - 28th June 08
Teaofortwo - 5th July
Smallships - 11th July
Babyinacorner - 11th July
Beautifuldays - 24th July
Panicpants - 26th July
Callmeovercautious - 1st August
Dropdeadfred - 9th August 08
Oopsadaisy - 30th August
Foxymolly- 13th Sept

brides to be

SalBySea - Sept
Saralou - 30th Sept

Ppie - 4th October
Smurfgirl - 11th Oct
Stretchmarkqueen - 24th Oct

Bluedragonfly - 29th November
Tillyscoutsmum - 29th November

Lizzer - ? 2009
Swiftyknickers - May 09
Beanieb 24th July 09
Lovemygirls - Sept 09
Fruitynnutty - Sept 09

Fifisworld - Nov 09
Flamingnora - Winter 09

Tiredemma - 2010

--------

I am having a dilemma. My best friend has 3 kids aged between 13 and 4. I am their god mother. After our registry office wedding we want to take close family and friends out for a meal, max of 20 people. I need to find a way of telling my best friend this. I want her to come but not the kids and her husband. Is this terribly rude? It may well be the first time my mum meets my OH's mum properly (MIL to be llives abroad) and I want to keep it as small as possible, and as cheap as possible.

I will be inviting her husband and children to the evening thing.

Am I being really mean?

stretchmarkqueen · 17/09/2008 10:39

MOM, we're not buttering sandwiches, at all!! We are just having lots of fresh bloomer loaves and french stick, all cut up, and some butter portions so the lazy feckers guests can do it themselves!! We're then putting out platters of cold cooked meat, ie ham, turkey beef, that everyone can help themselves to and make their own sandwiches!!

Welcome to all newbies!!!

Oh. we are NOT bridezillas!!

oopsadaisyangel · 17/09/2008 10:39

Hello!!

Am now official a "mrs" yeah hey!!! have put a couple of photos on profile!!

Disaster - we didn't have real or sugar flowers on our cake but the cake had sparkly icing on it so didn't need anything else!!

I was going to do a kids corner thing but in the end decided against it. The kids had an absolute ball just running around and playing amoungst themselves - although our singer did a few games with them that they loved!

Congrats to all the brides-to-be, enjoy the planning and the day because it really does fly by so quickly!!

Oops xx

MerlinsBeard · 17/09/2008 10:45

oh SMQ you have just saved me HOURS of work the night before

I can't believe i didn't think of that! Where are you getting butter portions from?

stretchmarkqueen · 17/09/2008 10:45

oops, are you my fb friend? I recognise the pics?? I don't remember the mn names of everyone on fb!!!

Looks fantastic btw!!! Hope you enjoyed the day!

MerlinsBeard · 17/09/2008 10:46

Oops you looked gorgeous

ANd you hughjarrrrrrs (did i already say that?)

stretchmarkqueen · 17/09/2008 10:52

We're getting them from makro, 100 portions for about £3-4.

MerlinsBeard · 17/09/2008 10:54

Actually i think we have one...somewhere....in a box....i really should get round to unpacking the rest of our stuff!!

oopsadaisyangel · 17/09/2008 11:22

stretchmarkqueen - i might be - I've just joined FB (last few days) but I know that some of my friends have the photos on their pages!! At the moment I think i only have my sisters as friends but have invited loads of others to be my friends!!!

stretchmarkqueen · 17/09/2008 11:34

Oh, you probably aren't then!! Feel free to add me though, I'm in the mumsnet group, on the 2nd last page. Name S H

oopsadaisyangel · 17/09/2008 11:37

Oh there is a mumsnet page!! Will be having a look when I get home (can't get on it while I'm at work!)

Original poster
teafortwo · 17/09/2008 11:47

Oopsadaisyangel - you look beautiful - congratulations on your wedding - good luck for your future with your lovely family!!!!

OP posts:
LoveMyGirls · 17/09/2008 11:58

Hi everyone,

keyboa d playin up bk soon

beanieb · 17/09/2008 12:11

Anyone able to advise me on the Dillema I posted?

Also - I thought I had made it fairly obvious to my OH that I wanted a small gathering of family and very close friends at the actual ceremony. I have about 10 people on my list so why does he have almost double that? What can I do about it I know it's not just MY wedding but I really don't want to be doing all the wedding stuff in front of loads of people, specially when I only have a few close friends. Bah!

we're not even officially booked in for the day yet and we're hitting 'issues' already!

LoveMyGirls · 17/09/2008 12:25

Beanieb - has she implied she will be bringing them?

Have a chat with your OH and say you need to keep numbers to a minimum, I panicked about this but when we sat down actually worked it out there was less people than we had thought there would be (I thought at least 150 turned out bare minimum is actually 120 and theres no more we would actually want there anyway, got plenty more aquaintences and work collegues etc that we could invite if we had the money but no-one we will miss on our special day)

Does he have a big family? I have 5 brothers (some are step) and a sister all have partners and children plus our parents and sm and sd plus our own dc's so that is about 30 people and thats not including dp's siblings or any of our aunts/ grandparents/ friends

stretchmarkqueen · 17/09/2008 12:35

Can you not have a pre-wedding meal with ils and your mum, so they can meet? Then on the day, have a late ceremony (around4pm), then just have a fab party in the evening and invite just about everyone!!!

We are having a working mens club, which can hold loads, is fairly cheap, and has SUPER cheap beer!!

beanieb · 17/09/2008 12:39

I think I have done the wrong thing posting about it here and the language I used wasn't right. I don't want this to be all about me me me, because it isn't - it's about him too. I feel stuck. I am not into all this showy stuff, I don't want to be looked at, I have never wanted to plan a wedding. Now I have managed to upset my OH and it's all seeming like way too much hassle, specially when I can't talk to anyone about how I am feeling without it upsetting people.

Our ceremony is at two, maybe I should suggest changing it as people will be booking time off to come and then having to leave 20 minutes later to do their own thing which may piss them off a bit, specially if we take others to lunch.

will have a think. Though at the moment I feel like I should just forget about it until May and then just organise what I can then...

I can't believe I am letting this stress me out to be honest.

LoveMyGirls · 17/09/2008 12:53

Whats important to you might not be important to others so just sit down together and write a list of priorities and whose dealing with what (says me who needs to do this with dp asap!)

For me I think

  1. Being dp's wife, next of kin, lifelong partner (basically being married to dp)
  1. I want to bring our family together legally.
  1. I want to share our special day with people who matter most to us, who love us and have supported our family along the way, I want to thank them for being here for us and keeping us together and celebrate our future with them.
  1. I want dp to see me looking absolutly stunning, I want him to gasp when he see's me and be proud he's about to become my husband. (god knows he has seen me looking rough far more times than he's seen me looking nice and he's never seen me look stunning, even im curious as to what that would be like)
  1. I want to feel special, loved, secure, happy in a room with everyone I know, dancing with the man of my dreams, eating the food I love, laughing with the people that matter.
  1. I want us to have a day we can remember forever, wqhen we think back to that day I want to smile and think how in love we were when we're having a rough patch.
  1. I want a lovely honeymoon in a warm place where the only thing I have to concentrate on is us enjoying ourselves and being in love.
Original poster
teafortwo · 17/09/2008 13:19

beanieb - breath!!!!!! I feel for you.

We truly believed our wedding day was just that - a day to confirm legally what is happening with us.

You can do that too. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do.

Could you be so kind as to write what is concerning you in a list and then we can help you tackle each point. Live your life. Be well!!!!

Only knowing what you have posted my initial thoughts are...

For a small wedding 20 is a lot of people!!! Could you quietly marry at 2pm with just your witnesses and then have your 20 guests join you in the evening for a meal????

But you maybe too far into preparations to make big changes like this! In that case we can work with what we can. It will be nice. Let us help. x x x x x x x

OP posts:
beanieb · 17/09/2008 13:30

Nothing is set in stone but the plan is 2pm ceremony, then meal nearby with closest family and friends. I assumed it would be all the people in the ceremony but now the amount of people has increased so I don't know what we tell them when we go for the meal... (none of them will be travelling far)

My worries about the day are:

  1. Being looked at
  1. being less glamorous/more ugly than all the guests
  1. Not taking it seriously when other people are all 'emotional'
  1. The fact that it's at 2 on a work day and people will be invited to the ceremony so will have taken a day off work but then won't be coming for the meal so will have to bog off and entertain themselves for the rest of the day.
  1. Having very few friends compared to my OH so looking like a twat
beanieb · 17/09/2008 13:38

oh 0 I missed no 6, there are propbably 7, 8 and 9 too.

I'm just being an arse!

Original poster
teafortwo · 17/09/2008 14:06

beanieb - You are not 'just being an arse' I had those kind of thoughts too. You need to construct the day and your own thoughts to make sure you and dh to be have a fab day.

Now we have the full picture... Lets slow down a bit and jump each hurdle when and if it needs to be jumped!!!

First the ceremony. Some people feel special by being 'the bride' for others it is awkward. Who do you want and emotionally need to be there to watch you get married?

(I had one of my my best friends and one of dhs best friends who brought his family along to keep my dd company!)

OP posts: