Oh, you poor thing! Some of those bother me too! Only, my family aren't that traditional so I can get away with it!! I hate being looked at, always have, I have bright red hair and have always stood out, whether I liked it or not! And no matter what lovely things people say here, it's always the neg ones that stick in my mind.
I have a tall, blonde, slim, child-free sister! I do, in my weaker moments, worry whether she will try to 'outshine' me on the day, (she's a bit self-obsessed and looks matter type of person) even though I don't want to be the centre of attention! I can't change the fact that she's my sister, and hopefully she's there to help celebrate.
We are also having our wedding on a friday. It's a good way of ensuring that only the peopple who really want to be there are!
You need to breathe...and then write down, between you, what the most important things about the day are. If you don't want a 'do', then just get married. Simple. Perhaps a bit of a party after?
Sorry, am rambling, but I want to help!