Upset and bothered.

[JollyRoseSheep]

My husband and i went to our nieces wedding and my husband was giving her away. At the reception we went into the restaurant and the lady seating everyone told us that we were on separate tables. Hubby on top table and I was seated with five other people who I did not know and they all knew each other. I spent a lot of time staring at my plate tried to get my hubbies attention but failed. I really felt walking out and I am still so angry. I am right or wrong.

Why did you spend so much time staring at your plate?

If he was giving her away then I would have expected him to sit on the top table. Did you expect to be there too?

Why didn't you just make small talk with the people on the table? If he gave her away he was part of the wedding party so I'd expect him to be on the top table.

I found the situation totally unbearable as they all knew each other and talked excluded me. Also had remarks made as to what I drank and one was such a smArt arse saying was I taking my Dad to bed. Just hated it.

It's fine to be a little disappointed that you didn't know anyone at your table but surely you had considered the fact that your dh would be at to top table. Still being 'so angry' strikes.me as being a huge over reaction.

Does DH know you are angry about it? Presumably the sit down meal was only part of the wedding - how was the rest of the day? Do you get on with DH’s family?

I am supposed to be family not a friend attending. We had no warning that we would be at separate tables even hubby is upset about it and thought it was thoughtless of them.

Is it really that much of a big deal?

Did you not know any of the people on your table?

Him being at the top table is fine. Not putting you with other family is a bit odd though.

The church part was fine and we did meet up with them the day before so something could have said about the seating plan. Sunday morning was just as bad we were left on our own in restaurant for breakfast. Just we wish we did not go now.

This is where a bit of perspective and social grace is helpful.

Yes, a heads up might have been nice. But you presumably enjoyed the rest of the day. And you had the chance to meet some new people to pass time with over dinner.

Honestly, how do people even get so upset by stuff like this. You were still in the same room, chat to the other people on the table rather than staring at your bloody plate!

Can you really not cope without your DH next to you for one meal?

What do you mean on your own for breakfast?

I think thoughtless is a good word for it. I'm sure they didnt want you to have a bad time at the meal but didn't really think our the table plan properly however your husband as giving the bride away was always going to have a higher profile on the day than you. You didn't belong at the top table.
Honestly I'd forget about now and move on.

I can't see what the big deal is to be honest. We've been to a wedding where my husband was the best man and he was on the top table and I wasn't, I think it's to be expected. The meal is only a couple of hours, I'm guessing you spent the rest of the evening with him?

I've also been to several weddings on my own where I haven't known anyone. Do you have anxiety OP? If you do then did the bride and groom know this is something you'd really struggle with? As I don't really understand otherwise why it's so difficult to spend a couple of hours on separate tables.

We were supposed to met up for breakfast but brides mother (cow) moved to table with 2 other couples and her daughter and hubby and left us on our own. I just knew we should have left the bloody place early.

Does any of this really matter?

Usual manners of this side of the family but so rude to others.

Honestly op .im getting a sense of what people might be giving you a wide berth.
You were the brides aunt in law . It wasn't all about you know.

I think there are a lot more issues here than the first post suggests.

Ok I think the fact you're calling the bride's mother a cow answers a previous poster's question as to why you weren't sat with other family...

It's done now, nothing you can do about it. I think you need to let it go.

This, did you honestly expect to be on the top table? Fact the bride didn't have her dad there sounds a sad story, but yes, make it drama llama and wail about how you weren't treated as the most important person there!

Op, you should have been seated with your DH. It was rude to put you elsewhere.

It was not a pleasant evening at all. The others at the table talked amongst themselves most of the time. Still I do not have see them ever again. It has always been like this with my sister in law, she cold shouldered me the first time we met 59 years ago. She did not like another female around and oh boy she showed it.