Does any over 50s feel like this?

[ssd]

I guess im just tired. Not physically, im fine that way. But more mentally.
Im tired with bothering about the house, the housework, the food shopping, whats for dinner etcetera.
Ive done all the bothering for years and i guess im out of bother!!
I was reading the threads about what are you up to today and i love them, but its mainly thinking about what to cook for the family and sorting stuff out. Maybe they are all younger than me. My kids are grown but one still at home. He can cook but im aware theres veg needs turning into soup lying in the fridge and chicken needing used and frankly i cant be arsed.
Id eat toast for the rest of my life and it wouldn't bother me.
And dh can see to himself.
I once read on here about a poster saying she'd like to just be an old car sitting at the window staring out.
That's exactly how i feel.
My enjoyment at keeping house has gone.
Anyone else?

An old cat lol

I quite like the old car 🤣

And yes I agree.

Oh God yes.

I find myself cooking more than I thought I would now ds has gone. Mainly due to weight- I don't want to become so big I need a bariatric bed in hospital etc. If I buy bread I will eat it all in a day so toast isn't really an option.

But quite often my dinner is a raw carrot and a tin of kidney beans in chilli sauce and I absolutely love not having to bother.

I’ve never found enjoyment in keeping house and yes I’d happily eat toast/croissants/cinnamon whirls for every meal 😁

Absolutely agree.
But, your lack of energy and disinterest in everything sounds like menopause symptoms. I was like this until I started on HRT and my energy levels rocketed. I finally understood that this was how ‘normal’ people felt.

The thing is to get onto HRT but then direct your new found enthusiasm for life into things the YOU want to do.

Just don't do it then. You're not put on the earth to serve others. Go and find something that fulfils you. Your son knows how to cook so let him. Bin the veg. Fuck it. Go and do something fun.

I've never really had enjoyment from "keeping house", or cooking or meal planning etc.
I mean it's nice to live in a nice house, and I like the idea of a redecorating project etc, but the day to day has always been grind to me.
Therefore I limit it as much as possible & spend more of my time doing what I want (which might be not much 😆).

I don't read the what are you up to today thread's, but so far today.
8am: got up, let the dogs out, fed the hens and came back to bed.
10.35am: I'm still here, reading and now MN.
I'll probably get up shortly and plan to have no more than an hour sorting out DIY in my 17yos bedroom (he has decided to recorate and has cleared the room and I'm going to fill the holes while he is at his dad's).

What do YOU want to do?

God yes the interminable cooking 😩

Oh yes - totally relate! Just can't be bothered with anything. Mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted.
Lockdown didn't help. Went from fairly independent SAHM to 2 older teens busy doing taxi runs, school events, extracurricular drop offs etc, whilst very part time WFH and DH very much at the office long hours at the start of lockdown. By the end I had 2 DC at uni and DH WFH full time and never leaving the house.
Throw in a very traumatic first term at uni for DC2, resulting in coming home to restart next September and two elderly Mum/MIL and I really would love to spend a couple of months just watching out the window eating toast 😁

I liked the ‘old car’ analogy 😁

I think we’re all probably a bit mentally knackered after raising kids for what seems like forever. I’m on my own now, youngest at Uni and the house is so tidy and quiet… it’s like an old people’s home, never gets messy and I hate it, reminds me of my Nans as a kid 😄but it’s like that because I haven’t got the get up and go to even make a mess!

However I do try and eat well and exercise everyday as I have health issues and I do have to be firm with myself over this, but hate the shopping and meal planning that goes into it, so dull and like you would live on sourdough toast everyday if I could.

I hate saying it but have to mention the M word.. do you think maybe the menopause is playing a part? Just a thought?

This 😆

I do bits of housework in bite size chunks during the day. I eat a lot of easy food and ready meals.

Chuck the chicken and veg into the slow cooker. Minimal effort there! I hate cooking, never been a big fan but 20 years of cooking for kids really did it for me.

There was a really good thread about this..last Summer maybe? Parents of teens who can't be arsed or something. It would be great if someone with a better memory could link to it!
I think this feeling is really common to women with older kids. and not energy bloody thing is down to menopause.
I read the posts chirping on about " sorting the packed lunches, ferrying to rugby, deep cleaning the patio" and want to lie on the floor. Maybe 18/20 years of domestic servitude is most of our limits?

I’m heading for 60 and can totally relate. Two adult kids out of three still at home, I have no problem with that - they are both at Uni and easy to live with - but I just cannot be arsed any more with most of the things I used to do cheerfully. Cooking, meh, housework, when I absolutely have to. To be fair part of it was a life changing cancer diagnosis and a year of extreme treatment, three years on I have no boobs, my long term medication leaves me exhausted and I have various other issues like not being able to feel my toes, but mentally I have totally shifted and now spend my days pretty much like the cat you mention. Luckily DH encouraged retirement and is just so grateful I’m alive that his expectations of me are zero but tbh I think even without that I would be checking out.

I’ve never been interested in domestic stuff. Thankfully we have a cleaner.

I also have zero interest in cooking and loathe food shopping with a passion. My husband does all that side of things and the kids are 19 and 23, so well able to cook for themselves if they are home.

When my dad retired at 52 (after 30+ years in the police => full pension) my mum told him she'd had 30 years of cooking and cleaning and it was his turn now. She'd had enough - plus she was still working full time.
They are now late 70s, and she's said recently that actually a lot of her 30 years were for a family and his have just been for the 2 of them, so he should do 40!

If you've been running your household for your adult life, not surprisingly you might have has enough.
Can you look at sharing the load?

Although, as others have mentioned menopause, I wonder if its a time of life thing. I'm fed up & uninspired atm, but thinking it might be time of year, rather than time of life, for me and waiting to see what the Spring brings.

It might be worth exploring HRT. How long before it starts making a noticeable difference?

I don't think HRT creates enthusiasm for cooking and cleaning...being bone achingly bored with domesticity seems to me like a totally normal reaction rather than a condition that needs treating. ( Not that I'm knocking HRT, it's great but it doesn't make me want to batch cook..)

I am so bored with cooking. DH is away with the dog and frankly I'd rather they didn't come back. Ddog is needy, mucky and requires a lot of walking and frankly DH isn't much better. He'll likely want sex too < sigh>.

It's my job to force DS 16 up to move to huge bag of wood on our driveway that DH saw fit to get delivered when he was away and if he doesn't then I'll have to do it or endure DH getting angry with DS when he gets home.

Oh and I need to dedicate half an hour to phone my elderly DPs and listen to whatever they want to talk about today.

On paper my life is perfect, but frankly at the minute, I couldn't be bothered with it all.

I'm thinking more general enthusiasm for life, certainly wouldn't be using any additional energy to clean and batch cook!

🤣 No, I don't suppose I'd want to take HRT to better fulfil a cooking and cleaning role. A little more enthusiasm for life generally might be quite nice though.

@Chasingsquirrels I love your Mum's ethos!

Yes, me too OP. I have an adult daughter with learning difficulties living at home and much less support than pre pandemic. I hate cooking and would happily live on toast, crackers and cereal. We do eat more easy meals and ready meals because of this which does help. I think I have caring/compassion fatigue. I've recently started HRT and it is helping with sleep and mood and will definitely channel any new surges of energy into me stuff.

I know exactly what you mean. I've delegated cooking at weekends to DH - although it took him a while to grasp that asking me what he should cook made me cross as it wasn't the cooking I hated but the thinking of what to cook.
Then adult DS cooks once a week. So that's taken the pressure off me a bit. I've slowly delegated the ironing of shirts to them - I'll iron other things but hate shirt ironing especially button down collars. They wear them they can iron them.

My DM clearly reached the same point when I was still at home. Her strategy was to buy M&S ready meals for her and DF and I'd sort myself out. She said she'd had enough years of cooking - although in fairness her own DM died when she was 16 and she took on the role of her mother as she had 3 younger brothers and a working father who believed it was a woman's job to keep house (I'm talking late 1940's early 50's) so she'd had many years of cooking.

God absolutely. I'm fully loaded on HRT and gave up fancy pants cooking ages ago. I eat out of pickle jars straight from fridge with my fingers, dip gherkins and matzos in pots of kefir and YES!! eat sourdough toast. I might push to boat out and have beans on toast later. Fuck it.

Furthermore, I have a gang of friendly crows and magpies that are the lucky recipients of any leftover food that I can't be arsed to do anything with. They enrich my life, these corvids, with their antics, as I watch them like a curious cat out of my bedroom window.

@MMagpiePi , done the whole hrt thing. This isnt hormonal to the extent i need hormones , this is just a woman sick of the kitchen.