Does any over 50s feel like this?

[ssd]

I guess im just tired. Not physically, im fine that way. But more mentally.
Im tired with bothering about the house, the housework, the food shopping, whats for dinner etcetera.
Ive done all the bothering for years and i guess im out of bother!!
I was reading the threads about what are you up to today and i love them, but its mainly thinking about what to cook for the family and sorting stuff out. Maybe they are all younger than me. My kids are grown but one still at home. He can cook but im aware theres veg needs turning into soup lying in the fridge and chicken needing used and frankly i cant be arsed.
Id eat toast for the rest of my life and it wouldn't bother me.
And dh can see to himself.
I once read on here about a poster saying she'd like to just be an old car sitting at the window staring out.
That's exactly how i feel.
My enjoyment at keeping house has gone.
Anyone else?

Oh that sounds lovely - enjoy! 😊

I'm with @MissyB1 and @JJ8765 for a city apartment (although would need its own parking space with EV charger). My DH was seriously ill a few years ago and in the HDU for a week, and I was close enough to be able to visit him twice a day some days. That made me realise I wouldn't want to live too far from a major hospital, which rules out the rural hellhole idyll approach. I would, however, want amazing soundproofing. And also by the sea would be nice.

Thank you so much! Yes we get some breaks so it is manageable. Just the tedium of cooking etc etc like everyone else here is a major negative in life!!

I have a cleaner. £25 a week. I'd make savings elsewhere before I gave her up.

TBH 100 quid a month isnt something i can spare if i give up something else. And i really dont need one, small house and dh and i share everything. If i had a lot more income i might consider it but i probably wouldn't bother.

Thanks, it was fab. We went a walk on the beach and listened to the sea coming in. I could listen to the sea all day. And the drive home after dusk was peaceful and relaxing.
Just what i needed.

Please may I join the commune for fucked off women? Currently so fucked off with family life that I have locked myself in the loo and left everyone to sort their own sodding dinners.

Welcome, @Lentilweaver . Stay in there as long as you want to (at minimum until someone knocks to say they have made your dinner)

At 59 I think I am about to graduate as I simply have no fucks left to give. Its absolutely liberating. Dont do any ironing any more, putting away consists of opening bedroom doors and lobbing stuff onto beds from the doorway.
I often cba cooking. When young adult ds asks whats for dinner I just say,I'm having a sandwich,sort yourself out.
The ever growing pile of unclaimed socks went into the charity rag bin the other day. No socks? Not my problem.
Stuff doesnt get picked up or put away? I take it to charity or dump and lie that I havent seen it.
Finding yourself after years of servitude is brilliant.

Come in - you are very welcome!

Oh yes. I have absolutely hit a wall.
I’ve just booked a cleaner as I just can’t clean floors and toilets any more. I feel tremendous guilt about it but I just cannot do it anymore. As for cooking.. I wish I never had to do it again:

I feel tremendous guilt about it
Why? If you're confident that the cleaner is being properly paid , why would you feel guilty about it?

Good for you!!

I just feel it’s lazy. I know that’s stupid but it’s how I feel.

OMG!! I have found my people.
I'm 61, retired and my 3 sons have left home. Just me and husband.
After 30 years of cooking endless meals I have no cooking energy/inclination left. I cook no more. I am an ex cook. Husband has to cook ( 30 years of coming home to tea on the table) or he can have a bowl of cereals. I could happily live on cereals so cared not a jot at when he howled in protest.
I also only clean if we are expecting visitors ( lockdown was a joy on the no visitors front) and don't iron.
I give no fucks.
May I join the no fucks club?

I'm only 49 but I feel like this!
Divorced, 2 older DC at Uni now. Just me and DD12 at home now. I used to literally not sit down all day, I was constantly on the go. Get kids up, dressed and to school, work full time, pick kids up, do tea, clubs, homework, bath time etc.
I never got my mojo back after lockdown. I never thought I'd want to retire but I've had enough of everything now🤷🏻‍♀️

I'm done.
20 years ago, it would have been nothing to cope with, now, I'm fucked.

My only mode of transport fucked.
Might be mended in 10 days or so ( I've been walking everywhere for a week now).
I'm supposed to be meeting an old friend in a lodge next week that ive spent £££ on. I will need need to hire a car , right? Can I find my driving license? Can I fuck.

I have a husband who spends his life sitting on his arse. He has a car..... but no, he might need said car next weekend, even though I will leave him with everything he could desire foodwise and even dosh for taxis should he need them ( he wont).
I'm looking after grand daughter tomorrow ( my reason for living), but again, constantly jumping to the needs of others.

So fed up of breathing.

Absolutely 100% agree @ssd Mid 50s here, and DC left home some 7-8 years ago. I CBA with anything really. I am done. Tired and weary and CBA!!! I rarely cook from scratch now, and tell DH if he wants anything fancy, or anything different, he can get it himself. I don't iron, I don't sew anything, I don't do anything I don't have to. I sometimes spend the day just reading and watching TV.

I was raised a Christian, and used to go to Church a couple of times a month, but stopped over lockdown because of covid. Then I realised how much I didn't miss it, how boring it had become, and how bigoted and judgy some people there were. So I couldn't be arsed to go back. Haven't been in a year now, despite all the snide little digs from people every time they see me, with the 'haven't seen YOU at Church for a while!' line. I just say 'no I haven't seen YOU either.'

I can quite easily just see my 3 friends - who I have known for 20 to 40 years - just once every 3 months, I don't want or like or welcome visitors very often, and I even see my DC only once a month for a day (they live 25-30 miles away.) Extended family, brother and brother in law and cousins, we see twice a year. 3 times tops. I do speak with the DC most days on social media/whatsapp, but meet only once a month.

Can't even be arsed with pets anymore, and when my one remaining cat has gone (she is 16 now) that's it. No more. CBA with the responsibility. The pets were fine when the DC were at home, but since they've gone, fuck me the cat does mither and pester me! I have given 25 years to pets. ENOUGH now!

I WFH 22 hours a week, and that is enough. Luckily as I WFH I don't have to be arsed with mixing with people.

I CBA to take in packages for people as I don't want to have to spend half an hour 'chatting' to them when they pick up the package (or when I take it around to them if they CBA to come get it.) No parents or PILs left as they have all passed, so we have no elderly parents to look after thankfully.

I have spent many years raising kids, looking after parents, and looking after pets, hosting parties, (for me and DH AND for the DC,) having a couple of dozen people around sometimes, catering for them, and giving them drinks and entertaining them. Also, I had the neighbourhood's children around half the time, around for the first 12-15 years of the DC's lives, and their parents couldn't be arsed with them.

I used to be in hobby groups and socialise a lot more too in big groups. But now, just once a month at the pub is fine, and the occasional night out for a meal (5-6 times a year) with colleagues - mine or DH's. OR the DC or friends. I prefer to go OUT and meet, as I don't want to be entertaining people at my house.

Just CBA.

Glad it's not just me!

I have gone the other way and become very social. I went out on Tuesday and I went out today and I haven't cooked the last 3 days because I cba. There is some falafel rotting in the fridge but I cannot give a fuck. Will probably throw it out.

I'm too pissed off and exhausted to write why I can't be bothered anymore It's just all too much to even put it down in writing .I would just love to be on the side of a mountain ,all on my own ,with enough cheese.bread and wine to survive for a while.

Totally. Kids now at Uni/left Uni so I'm alone most of the time. I have discovered since lockdown, that I'm excellent at a 'party for one' which I thoroughly enjoy - a glass or two of wine, crisps, nuts and a sandwich, either watching crap telly or in bed if I so desire. Also have 'duvet hours' whenever I feel like it. No guilt. Zilch.

Totally get this. I wrote a long post saying Mich the same thing, but it vanished into the ether. I’ve just had enough of everything. I find if I go on holiday now, all I want to do is sleep.

I'm 72 and absolutely sick and tired of cooking. I have felt very very tired and suffering from long covid since last year, actually I am beginning to feel better now. My husband has more or less taken over the cooking, but I don't always want to eat the kind of food he does. He always wants lots of vege "proper" dinners. I just open a tin of Asdas chicken curry, which is really good, and packet of Tilda rice, for me not him. I think we just get sick and tired of it. And we have realised that just doing general household tasks takes us long enough as it is. Recycling seems to have taken over as well.
Sometimes you just want to do your own thing and not consider anyone else.

So agree Ozy after 35 years of marriage I loathe 'proper' dinners ... my DH is retired now and seems obsessed with our evening meals - he will and does cook - but it's all such a faff, I want to come home from work, eat something simple of my choosing and either read a book or watch tv .. not have to sit at the dinner table and 'chat'!

I've found my people! 53 DD at uni, DS likely to be at uni Sep 2024. I was just thinking the other day that the day both DCs are at uni next year is the day I stop cooking forever. I can't wait. DH does cook to be fair but he'll be doing it all if he wants a home cooked meal. I'll just eat toast and drink tea.

I do housework when it needs it, not as a matter of course.

I also have no enthusiasm for anything. Used to love going out, art galleries, restaurants, concerts, theatre. Now I just can't be bothered. Feel I've been there and done everything and am just happy staying at home.

Work full time after SAHM for 14 years, not through choice. I do enjoy my job, very low level mostly stress free wfh with half day in the office once a week.