Does any over 50s feel like this?

[ssd]

I guess im just tired. Not physically, im fine that way. But more mentally.
Im tired with bothering about the house, the housework, the food shopping, whats for dinner etcetera.
Ive done all the bothering for years and i guess im out of bother!!
I was reading the threads about what are you up to today and i love them, but its mainly thinking about what to cook for the family and sorting stuff out. Maybe they are all younger than me. My kids are grown but one still at home. He can cook but im aware theres veg needs turning into soup lying in the fridge and chicken needing used and frankly i cant be arsed.
Id eat toast for the rest of my life and it wouldn't bother me.
And dh can see to himself.
I once read on here about a poster saying she'd like to just be an old car sitting at the window staring out.
That's exactly how i feel.
My enjoyment at keeping house has gone.
Anyone else?

This is getting exciting, looking forward to wine and choc celebrations. DH and I bought a tiny caravan for the two of us last year and went on a big summer trip. We have more planned for this year. DS1 should be off to uni and DS2 to 6th form in September. Times are changing.

Oooh please may I join? I have found my people! I think I recognise a few of you from the teenage board btw! 😀

<would do a little dance if I had the energy and my knee joints weren’t burning!😁>

DC at uni and I am now a fully paid up member of the CBA club and I can’t tell you how relieved I am to hear that it’s not just me! I honestly thought I was going mad!

I could have written every word of your op ssd so thank you so much for starting this thread. What a lifesaver!

I do think a telegram from the King is really the least this country can do for us. But I want to confirm - when exactly do we celebrate our day? Last day of A levels is a good one, or the day after dropping them off at uni? I'm determined to go on holiday (with ds) as soon as possible after the A levels end to bask in the glow of term-time travel. We missed out on this treat after GCSEs because we were all in lockdown.

Also I do feel a strong urge to buy this necklace to celebrate The Day (whenever the day is). wearandresist.com/products/fck-this-sht-alphabet-necklace

I feel a bit like this, I now feel bad about descending on my parents when they were my age, expecting my mother to reactivate her nurturing instincts at short notice and be enthusiastic about cooking our favourites and listening to every last detail of our recent ups and downs!
She now eats virtually the same thing at every meal unless she eats out for a treat!

I can resonate with this.

I'm 50 soon with two 17-year-olds and, like a pp said, years of servitude have taken their toll.

In the last few months - maybe peri, maybe the fact they're now in sixth form, or maybe nearly 2 decades of being in service when I do not enjoy any aspect of 'keeping house' or being a taxi driver - and I'm done. My interest in school, meals, house has gone.

Pre kids I was single into my 30s and had a very relaxing life, working and keeping my small flat, lots of socialising. I miss it. Nobody to care for but myself.

Now, I'm trying to spend more time on me, let the others sort themselves out. I have lots of enthusiasm for life, just not domesticity. I have started going out more, taking greater care of my health and physical appearance and giving less fucks about what's for dinner or if the lounge needs decorating.

"Lots of enthusiasm for life, just not domesticity".

This describes me to a T! I go out a lot on my own, or with friends. That way I don't have to look at my messy house.

Haha @Lentilweaver yes!

If you love the freedom that comes after they've left, beware the grandchildren!

Emma can be in our gang. Emma is wise beyond her years. I ❤️ Emma.

Identify with so much on this thread. Interesting article in the Guardian today: www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2023/mar/04/lift-the-lid-and-theres-a-well-of-rage-why-women-are-mad-as-hell-and-not-afraid-to-show-it

I'm so pleased this thread is striking a chord with so many of us!

Looking forward to the better weather, all those walks and sitting in the window like an old cat

Yeah I couldn’t care less if I never cooked a meal again in my life. If I lived alone I would just eat fish and salad ( maybe some cake - I still like baking)
I don’t think it’s hormones (I’m on HRT) I’m just bored silly with it all.
I also envy the cat (although to be fair I have always envied cats)

Its funny but a couple of people (friends even!!) have said to me recently about me having grandkids, like its something I'm missing, or looking forward to...? The truth is, I'm really not?!? I feel I've spent soooo long raising my kids, worrying about them, and now finally getting my time to just "be'...and the thought of grandkids needing attention and looking after doesn't fill me with enthusiasm.... Maybe i spent so long looking after mine with absolutely no help, apart from dh who always worked, and now having no one needing me all the time is great.

I'm sure if i had grandkids I'd love them but my god i hope it doesn't happen for a hell of a long time....

I recently had a younger friend have a baby and i think she expects me to be full of joy and desperate to babysit...i cant even be bothered visiting, I'd rather have a nice picture

@GrisleyR please take the car.

This is the first year in for ever that there is nobody sitting important exams in the house. DH and I might even go away for a week in May, if I can summon up some enthusiasm for organising a trip.
Interestingly DH ( who has almost v always been self employed) is having similar feelings about work as I do about the domestic sphere.

Happened upon this lovely thread yesterday just after counting up the number of days until younger child's last A level (108). I still work a full on full time job (but, at nearly 60, probably only for another year - yay) but after nearly 20 years of mothering I am SO looking forward to the flexibility of holidays when and where DH and I choose, going with him when he visits DFIL in a lovely part of Scotland and working remotely from there for a week or so, without thinking about my DS and his insatiable hunger/ lift requirements, and the freedom and space to think about the next part of our lives more than the contents of the fridge, the state of the bathroom/garden etc. Bliss.

I'm not expecting anyone to mention grandkids to me like it's something I should be looking forward to, because I'm not (and strongly doubt I ever will). I'm with the Original Miranda Hobbes from SaTC (god knows what the new version thinks): "I don't like any children except my own". Also as ds is 17 I should be protected from hearing those comments for a good 10 years?? I hope so.

@Wbeezer I certainly do have similar feelings about work as well. I'm fortunate to have started to shift into some work that I find more interesting, but isn't quite so well paid. Hard to balance when I also have to fund both my and DH's retirement as he isn't well enough to work.

I was quite surprised when a good friend mentioned grandkids to me. It really took me by surprise. She has also been talking about retirement.
I guess I'm older than i thought

I don't think I have ever empathised so much with a post.
That was me a decade ago.
I got through it, into retirement, managed not to murder anyone, and now I am busy turning into a reclusive nocturnal child.

I go in phases of wanting to run the house and really wanting to run away! We are formulating plans but it's 5+ years off escaping and we need the kids gone, 2 of ours have no plans to leave anytime soon and the one that does live independently (the only with a proper job) is tapping me up for childcare in 5 years time (she's organised!)

I think it’s the people wanting things from you that is so hard. It’s just so exhausting. Decades of having to provide things for others, usually whilst no one thinks about what you may need or want. I hit a wall a long time ago but just had to keep going. A part of your soul dies. I honestly wouldn’t have got involved in domestic life in the first place if I had foreseen what it would take out of me. I’m finally at a point where adult children have left and I can live for myself more. OH is majorly getting my nerves though. I’d dearly like to live in a cottage by the sea with a cat and just shut myself off from the world .

I hear all of you. 53 here both kids flown the nest they now have their own houses. Love the freedom me and DH have. A grandchild
is now in the mix, gave the kids are all don’t have the enthusiasm with our grandchild sadly, some friends have embraced it, sorry it’s not for us 🙃

Should’ve been our 🤪

I just don't see how you can give your own kids your all then when they are up and grown you start running after the grandkids.
People i know who do this have had a nice long break in the middle but thats not always possible.
I just can't think of anything worse.
Im sure if it happened IN TIME I'd feel different but not yet 🤞