Thread 39 - Covid Cohort - Our Adult Children Now Post 18

[CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and support to be had !

@EspeciallyDivided
Oh ED, I hope you are ok. Try not to worry. Remember there is nothing to worry about, yet. You can text him and phone him today. See how he goes for 2 days. He will tell you how he is feeling?

Fingers firmly crossed for you, @EquallyDivided. Keep us posted!

Yes, he does talk although sometimes needs a bit of encouragement and I have said call me or text me any time (luckily the nature of my job means I can nearly always take calls). Sadly one of his friend's mum passed away recently and that has upset him too, worrying in case anything happens to me.

 for you @EspeciallyDivided
I'm dreading next weekend and my dd doesn't have an social concerns.

@EspeciallyDivided its a big deal moving away - still remember the feeling on the first day over 30 years later …

@EspeciallyDivided i think prep for a short trip to him next weekend but if he has plans by then fit round them

@EquallyDivided - that sounds really tough for DS and you. Hope he has a good day today. My DS is getting anxious I can tell. Gone very clingy. Still almost 3 weeks to go here. We are staying around for a few days holiday in cambridge ourselves to do the museums but dont plan to see him unless he needs us. Then we wont see him until end of term.

Thanks all, I remember my first night and day vividly too and I am a lot more outgoing and confident than he is. The RAU is a very small uni with a great reputation for student satisfaction and I have been very impressed with the student support coordinator so fingers crossed. Keeping next weekend free in case, luckily it’s only 90 mins easy drive away.

Hope he settles ok @EspeciallyDivided and the others who’ve already gone.

Dd was feeling calm as a friend was going to be in the same hall so they could go to meals together, but the uni messed that up and now her friend has been moved. We picked dd up for a meal with us last night and she was quite tearful and stressed. Still 2 weeks to wait here! 😬

Just signing in after a weekend away with DD back to Swindon where I meet family and friends, I'm looking forward to reading all the posts this morning.

@EspeciallyDivided 💐
I think I’d keep the next couple of weekends free if needs be.
I’d also ‘find something I’d forgotten to pack for him’ and ask if he wants it posting or brought down?

You have really tugged at my heartstrings EspeciallyDivided. My autistic dd couldn't cope with university at the moment but I like to think that one day it could be on the cards.

Really hope he settles, enjoys his course and finds good friends quickly. Everything crossed for you.

@EquallyDivided I so hope things settle down. It is such a worry for you!

I'd be doing what ProggyMat suggested as well if possible.

@EquallyDivided id do what @ProggyMat suggested. If it’s only 1.5 hrs you can pop over during a weekend. Better to pop there than let them come home too early

@EquallyDivided I feel for you both. Love Proggy's idea.

ED When DS1 felt low in first year I sent him random things like micro Lego kits or card construction things. Maybe a painting by numbers. Little mindfulness things which let you draw in and re-charge. Or you could send him a box of donuts to share with flatmates. Hope he makes some friends this week.

You lot are bloody brilliant 😍

He has got a full morning of introductory meetings today (he's left a copy of his timetable) so I will text him at lunchtime. @Monkey2001 he doesn't get on very well with most of those sorts of thing as they are too fiddly for his dyspraxic fingers but he did take a world cup sticker album with him so I am going to send him some stickers. He doesn't have flatmates as it's an old fashioned rooms off a corridor hall but they have lots of communal areas to hang out in.

Thinking of your ds and hoping that he feels more settled when you contact him today.

It was dd's second night last night and I had a midnight FaceTime because she had cut her finger quite badly with a sharp knife! She's fine and managed to stop the bleeding, clean it and dress it with the help of her friend but hopefully there won't be too many panicked calls like that!!!

Great idea from Proggy
I hope he has a good morning and you get positive messages today ED.

It sounds like they are looking after him @EspeciallyDivided , it is a worry but once he settles into routines hopefully he will feel much better and you will too🌷

Good luck today @Volterra

@Oblomov22 DS will only be getting £50 a week. I think this should be enough as it will only be for socialising really. He was supposed to be saving money from his job over the last 4 months to give him that nice buffer for Freshers month but it appears he has spent almost everything. I am very angry about this but now he will have to live with the consequences and budget accordingly. I will not be bailing him out, he was reminded and warned too many times.

@Piggywaspushed Notts won't let you put hooks over the door for fire safety. It's odd that Brum don't provide at least one or two coat hooks. I did by some of these for DS2's door which have stayed put for the past year or more with many many heavy things hanging off them.

@EquallyDivided That sounds heartbreaking, I hope he settles in very quickly and that he reps will look out for him. DS was meant to be going with a very good friend but they didn't get the grades and are now going somewhere else, this has made DS feel slightly less enthusiastic I think.

Quick update, spoken to DS briefly and he seems much more his usual self. Didn't say too much but he was just on his way to get lunch so I've left it at that. Thanks for all your kind words, it has really helped me

Just logged in to have a catch up and so many have gone or are about to go. This will be me next year! DD definitely needs this gap year to mature and find her feet. Had her first driving lesson today with a new instructor and she loved it as this one was so much more relaxed so she's feeling better about that. Has her theory booked in next month and only last night downloaded the app to help her revise.

I also have a similar app (Life360) @PhotoDad and DD is most happy for us to continue having it... of course it helps if she has her 4G on as often it will say she's at home when clearly she is not.

@EquallyDivided thinking of you and your DS as he settles in and I love @ProggyMat's idea about forgetting something as an excuse to pop down. I will definitely be using that next year if we need to.

How is your DS now @Piggywaspushed? Shame he missed his brass band concert but i believe he's due at Uni this Thursday. Fingers crossed you've avoided it again as you were so poorly the last time.

No boosters for me and DH as under 50 but we may pay for a flu jab again as last year.

DD due in London on Saturday for a birthday present show so I really hope it's not too crazy and that the trains run well.

Excellent news @EspeciallyDivided so pleased to hear that he sounded more settled today! Hopefully each day will be better and better.