Thread 39 - Covid Cohort - Our Adult Children Now Post 18

[CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and support to be had !

Thanks @Fiddlersgreen . I can’t get to a branch until Saturday.

Congratulations on your new home, Volterra. I hope you’re not in too much chaos and will be very happy there.

icanbe, your DS sounds EXACTLY like DD. She accuses me of speaking harshly to her, but it’s always in response to how she talks to me first, or otherwise after I’ve had to ask her repeatedly to do something (the first hundred times of asking, I use my “ indoors voice”.

Thanks for asking, singing. She seems to have run out of steam a bit today, (possibly because we sat up until 1am trying to talk her down about everything) so I was able to persuade her to go with me to TK Maxx to buy a last couple of bits. Not exactly overflowing with the milk of human kindness but at least she isn’t tearing strips off me.
DS also said sorry for his behaviour, via Whatsapp, so I’m feeling a bit better tonight.

Yay, @Volterra : congratulations and hope you are able to relax and pop a champagne cork tonight?!

Im eyeing up that new skins stuff nervously - I can’t decide if it sounds great or awful ;-)

@Oblomov22 the Henry Guest House is nice. Not super luxurious (we’re talking practical showers rather than marble baths) but clean, nicely decorated, and well located (especially if you go by train). Cracking breakfast too.

Communications with DD so far have included the fact her student ID arrived here the day after she left, and her asking for how to get the AirTag I gave her to register with her phone. More excitingly, a photo of the 1.25 A4 pages of additional modules she has to choose from, and musing whether it’s a good idea or not for that module to be BSL when she’s already learning a language from (near) scratch.

@Fiddlersgreen SH rang the lost and stolen line at HSBC and waited 20 mins but we got to speak to someone and a card has been sent today! Coincidence?

It’s exciting to hear how those who’ve gone already are getting on! Dd has signed up to a Christian Union pre-term freshers event next week, which means I have to take her up to somewhere north of Nottingham on Monday - good job it’s a bank holiday! It’s a 2 night thing, finishing Wed lunch. I’m hoping she’ll at least then have a few more familiar faces when she gets to uni the following weekend.

She’s managed to spend £90 of my money on things ‘for uni’ over the last few days! Mainly underwear and bits of clothing.

@Benjispruce4 that’s really odd, I guess we both much have been stuck in the system somewhere. Glad you managed to get though and get it sorted too. Hopefully we now don’t wait too long for these cards to arrive!

Update: DD has collected ID card (photo uploaded in advance), equipped her room and found the charity shops for a new retro-wardrobe (a better range in Cambridge than in the suburbs of Newcastle...) Because she's fanatical about budgeting, this means existing on rice/pasta for a while. She is still feeling a little wobbly but has gone out for coffee with some of her course-mates met through facebook/WhatsApp. As she's often shy/anxious this is a very positive step! First actual classes are tomorrow, as is Freshers' Fair.

The Art School (maybe not the wider uni?) has arranged that Mondays' classes are all rearranged over the rest of the week to make a good start to the term, which is above and beyond and I'm grateful to the staff. (She has three days of classes each week, and the rest of the time is expected to be working in the studio. We'll see.)

Oh, and the light fitting in their dining-room started leaking! 😱But the maintenance team responded quickly. One shower now out of operation.

Looking forward to reading other stories of settling in, good, bad, and ugly...!

DD having a wobble tonight and actually said she wasn’t sure she wanted to go. We had a good chat and she just feels like there isn’t enough time left over the next few days to finish packing, see friends, sort out admin stuff etc but what’s pushed her over the edge is finally logging into emails and finding out she needs to do an audition next week when previously they said there wasn’t any further auditions. Apparently it’s new for this year and she has to email by 15th with what she’s playing having nothing suitable prepared (she has unaccompanied pieces but typically the instructions say it must be accompanied). I’ve managed to arrange a lesson on her last evening with her old teacher so hopefully they can find something suitable. Oh and King Charles is visiting Cardiff Friday when we will be checking in just to add to the stress of a 5 hour journey.

Oh @PaddingtonPaddington thats not really fair. Surely that’s someone that could be organised when there, with musicians in abundance to accompany? Just added stress. One foot in front of the other is my mantra when it all gets piled on you.

*something

I’m not surprised there are so many wobbles. I didn’t go to university. I just knew straight away it wasn’t for me, I wasn’t ready to move away and gap years weren’t really something I had considered/heard of. I’m in awe of our young people. I can’t imagine moving away from everyone and everything I know, to a strange place!

That’s really tough, Paddington.
The King’s visit is already proving to be a bit of a headache - the road to the cathedral and the cathedral itself has been shut since the visit was announced, and the poor residents got an hour’s notice to move their cars elsewhere for the week. They are cleaning the whole area up, filling in pot holes etc!

I’m sure the audition must be more of an assessment than an actual audition, otherwise they should have given more notice. I’d advise her to play an old favourite - something she’s really happy to perform, that doesn’t stretch her so that she can handle nerves etc.

I keep meaning to say, as I did to cinnamon, that if you’d like an emergency contact for your DD, please DM me and I’d be more than happy to give you/her my number, even if she just wants to know things like where to get her instrument fixed, or someone to talk to about musical worries etc, or wants a home cooked meal. 🥰

@Alsoplayspiccolo that's really lovely of you. I wish my dd was going there now!!

That all sounds very positive @PhotoDad .

@PaddingtonPaddington that's how DS was last week, wanting to see friends before he went, running out of time on the admin front etc. That is a pain about the audition and unfortunate timing for the visit of The King (which still sounds weird).

DS has just phoned and sounds as though he's enjoying himself. I am very relieved. DD is settling well into college now too.

I have decided I need to hide the WIWIKAU Fb group, it is just too busy at the moment and doing my head in a bit.

Great news @Volterra , what a relief.

Also really good to hear that ED Junior is happy and Also's DS is back to being a good human being. Hope your DD gets her head in a better place over the next few days.

@PaddingtonPaddington I can't remember if we know your DD's instrument, but it could be that they need to put ensembles together, so just want to hear them so they can get them right.

@EspeciallyDivided i know what you mean about wiwikau. I'm feeling hugely guilty about not doing this 'open me when you...' envelopes because of that. I think they're more likely to make you homesick!
There's a current post on there about backpacks. Can't be from a member on Mumsnet

Sorry not been around much..work!

new thread here

I saw that NCT and like you immediately thought can't be a MN'er.
My ds would think the envelopes were ott and soppy.

He is driving down to Chichester to stay with my mum for 2 days. Ahhhh. Makes my heart flutter.

I wouldn't have liked the envelopes thing either but the relationship between me and my mum has never been like that. I think part of the problem for me is that I think some of them are oversharing under their (presumably) real names and partly because some of it is just so trivial.

.

Thank you are you all so kind and encouraging and with sensible suggestions when I can’t see the wood for the trees. Plan of action this morning, have made a massive list and cracking on with the last bits of packing and admin so DD can go out tonight and tomorrow with friends. DD definitely feeling less overwhelmed, has found an old piece to play as suggested and will practice later. Positive thinking and energy replenished.

I think random gifts 🎁 when they are not expecting are more fun - DD loves all post !! So will send her the odd chocolate bar or tiny thing like I did her brothers in the post ….. no envelopes in a gift box here! She’d open them all on the first day 🤣😂🤣😂

Can assure you I haven't been on WIWKAU.

If you want to send stuff to your DC I recommend Parcel2Go, you can send loads of stuff for about £7 and track it, I sent several parcels in Covid days. I will be sending some suction fixed bathroom hooks and cookies to DS - I make peanut butter cookies and freeze the dough in cookie size balls so he can pop them in the oven and have fresh cookies.