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I'm a really shit mommy and i cant snap out of it!

257 replies

ilovetochat · 24/07/2009 13:51

dd is only 2 and I can't keep my cool with her and can't stop shouting at her and being nasty and i don't want to be like this as i love her so much and being a mom is what ive always wanted and im shit.
this morning i wanted to take her to baby gym which she loves and its the only class on as its school hols. we needed to leave at 9.40 so we were all ready when she decided she needs a wee. i sat her on the toilet..
dd "i need a wee"
me "have a wee and we can go"
dd "no" (raspberry)
me "do you need a wee"
dd "no"
me "lets get our shoes and go then"
dd "no i need a wee"
she was on and off the toilet laughing and blowing raspberries, i asked her if she wanted to go to gym and she said yes but then kept asking for a wee till 10.05.
i ended up shouting that she was silly and didnt deserve to go to gym and could stay in all day and be bored and i was fed up of her being silly and i went on and on at her. i just wanted to walk out the house and leave her to it as she drives me up the wall.
she then cried and asked for a cuddle and gym.
i took her to the gym and then park and we had a lovely morning out and she was good as gold and i told her i love her and how good she was being etc.
but everything i want her to do, even if its something nice like going to the park, ends up with me shouting her crying then eventually we go and have a great time.
what i am doing wrong?
Why cant i be patient with my own dd?
I feel like walking away and leaving dd and dp to it as they get on so well and im just shouting and being a bitch.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
ilovetochat · 07/09/2009 14:49

www.hsamuel.co.uk/webstore/detail/R/6339255/
what do you think of this? or do you prefer the other one i linked.

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alypaly · 07/09/2009 14:55

i think this one is more dressy but i think the other one was probably one he would wear more frequently. I think the shape of the last one is more elegant but i suppose it depends when you want him to wear it

alypaly · 07/09/2009 14:56

sorry to seem thick...what are OLs?

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ilovetochat · 07/09/2009 15:17

Out-laws, sorry, cant call them inlaws as we arent married but it is more apt sometimes anyway

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alypaly · 07/09/2009 19:35

have you made up your mind which watch to get. Hows little one tonight?

ilovetochat · 07/09/2009 19:55

i really like the one with the diamond inset but i prefer it with the brown face and they are out of stock, i think i will go for the blue face.
dd is ok, she has walked to the shop for milk and minimilk and is fine in herself, just snuffly. put nothing in her bath last night and rinsed her in water just in case its an allergy.
you ok

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alypaly · 07/09/2009 22:52

does DP like the oblong shape. the other one ws round wasnt it. If its for special occasions its lovely,but its almost too nice for every day

alypaly · 07/09/2009 22:58

Yes im fine thanks[ smile]
im getting really excited about DS1 coming home..i felt quite choked up earlier..silly me
hes only been away 5.5 weeks but i have a feeling this might be the start of a big move after he has qualified.He has had a ball from all his facebook messages.
Just finished tidying his room so that he can crash when he gets home tomorrow.

Been really busy today throwing lots of old things out and trying to sort out a temporary appartment for DP mum. They are having their house refurbished basically from top to bottom and he didnt want her living in the dust and turmoil so i have managed to a deal with a local estate agent for a 2 month rental.
So i think its furniture removal on wednesday and thursday.
Lookin forward to badders match tomorrow aswell.First one of the new season.

alypaly · 08/09/2009 11:10

hes got to abu dhabi so hes 2/3rds of the way home.Cant wait to c him. Saw his posts on facebook and he was not sure if he wanted to come home or not as he has had such a good time. Crikey..i might be loosing him to Australia.Cooking his favourite dinner for him so that its ready for when he comes home. He loves home made shepherds pie with lots of gavy and creamy mash...so thats what i am doing for him..
Am sooooo happy today.....my family will be complete again( well almost!!!!!)

How are you today?

alypaly · 08/09/2009 11:11

gravy.... my typing is bad today as i am a jibbering wreck...feel like a school kid,having him back home

ilovetochat · 08/09/2009 14:38

dp has a few watches, i think they are all round, i might go for the oblong for something different and get it engraved??
not sure what words to have or maybe just mine and dds initials?
is your son home yet, 5.5 weeks is a long time i think, glad you are all together. who in the family is missing? Did you mean your ex?

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alypaly · 09/09/2009 19:08

Just have something like 'yours always' and then your initials....

DS1 arrived home at 20.30 last night and went straight to bed after a 26 hour flight. So when i got in from badminton he was fast asleep. We have spent so much time this morning catching up and looking at all his photos.
Wow he has done so much.. Melbourne, Cairns.snorkled with giant clams and sea turtles in cairns..then he parted with amelia ( his friend)for a few days as he wanted to go to Magnetic Island and she wanted to go to Fraser Island. DS1 had a wonderful time and koalas, crocodiles, iguanas,snakes .lizards and shook hands with a wallaby. Saw dingos and went rock diving in waterfall pools in the tropical forests. Thats where he encountered his red back spider.

My family [my world]is the boys, and me, but I guess it would be nice to hear the word 'dad' more often...but hey..life has to go on.
Sorry to rattle on..but i am so happy now DS1 is home and i am living every minute of his trip,with him.

Went to Brisbane,Sydney and did the 3 hour walk over Sydney Harbour bridge,where you are attached to a wire,saw the opera house, snorkeled with dolphins. He has met someone wonderful people from all over the world...he has been invited to New Zealand by a couple who took him and Amelia out for a meal. BTW they met up again after a few days to do the rest of their trip,but she gets vertigo so didnt want to do the bridge.
Been to an Australian football match which i believe is an excuse for a brawl and has visited Melbourne jail to learn about its history. The pharmacists he worked with for three weeks bought him and aftershave when he left and a meal and his New Zealand friends treated him as well. He said everyone was so generous and kind and so less stressed than here.

BTW had a good match last...but lost 12-6 which quite honestly wasnt too bad for our first match in the premier. The match could have gone either way as 4 games were so close...so maybe the next one is ours...enjoyed it even so...it was a really good standard.Dont mind loosing to better players.
BTW DS1 girlfriend has missed him so much she caught the train to london so she could sit with him on the train for 3 hours to see him...love is.......he did actually miss her too.
How are you today...DD ok now with her rash?
have you sorted out bikinis for your hols and suit for DD

ilovetochat · 09/09/2009 21:35

oh glad your ds is back safely and it sounds like he had an amazing time! id love to swim with dolphins. hope you are having fun catching up and seeing photos.

my bikinis came and they are lovely and fit great and dds sunsuit came and its pink and blue flowery shorts and t-shirt with frilly edges, its so sweet and perfect size so all good buys.

ive just been to class and it was so tiring my arms are aching now, id been swimming this morning with dd too but i dont swim when im with dd i just play with her. she wears arm bands and can swim a width now and swim on her back and today she learned to blow bubbles

debenhams have a sale on 2 fossil watches so im torn now whether to get one of those or the diamond one from samuels. ive checked dps watches and they are all round, variety of makes, all have writing on the back so not sure if engraving is possible.

ive got my dad tomorrow morning so hope its sunny so dd can play out. shes been in the sand pit today so the garden/me and her got very sandy

what you upto tonight and tomorrow. does your son have a job to go back to? glad his girlfriend was waiting, it must be love.

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alypaly · 09/09/2009 21:59

Just sitting here on mumsnet tonight...DS1 has gone out to see his friends and to catch up on the gossip he has missed.( left me all his washing. He has only got 2 weeks b4 he goes back 2 uni so he might do some work at the local pharmacy where he is employed on a part-time basis.( he will definitely need the money). He always works when he comes home...for the extra petrol money. He has had a job offer from LLoyds pharmacy for his pre-registration year and Queens medical centre are interviewing him next week with a view to his years training with them as a hospital pharmacist. He is so chuffed. He really enjoyed his pharmacy experience in Melbourne although it was alot quieter than here and the legalities are different. His dad is hoping to see him at the weekend,hopefully with another BBQ.
I believe tomorrow is supposed to be nice, so enjoy your sandcastles. I am hoping the rest of the weekend will be sunny too.

They often say you meet your wife at uni and she is a lovely girl. She is not full of herself like alot of girls are these days and she is really chatty with me when she comes round which is nice.
sunsuit sounds lovely

ilovetochat · 09/09/2009 22:08

looking forward to our hol now, dd keeps saying "im going on holiday to yorka on a meoum" and signing aeroplane to us, she is so excited, i hope she doesnt get scared.

she is going through a growth spurt so ive been sorting her clothes for charity and good ones for the loft along with a few baby toys and her travel cot. she will fit in some nice new clothes for the holiday which is good.

my swimming cossi has virtually fell apart so need another but money is tight this month with car insurance, dps new tyre, euros, holiday shopping plus normal bills.

OP posts:
alypaly · 09/09/2009 22:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

alypaly · 09/09/2009 23:09

got to take DS1's car to the garage tomorrow,windscreen washer motor has gone, it needs a new bulb in the headlight,also tracking needs looking at as it drifts slightly.
Why does everything cost so much and why does it all come at once

ilovetochat · 09/09/2009 23:21

did you mean to put a name in your thread?

i typed in dds name the other day without thinking and then had to delete it.

im glad im a sahm but its hard moneywise, we are still running 2 cars just about but extras like holidays/clothes/birthdays/xmas are hard. im paying this holiday as a birthday treat, its a one off though, we have lots of work on the house to do when we get back so will be really skint then. no spending at all.

i feel calmer mostly, dd still gets to me most days when she wont listen, wont hurry, twirls and lands in her dinner etc but i am trying to be more light hearted, more calm, more happy and we are having fun.

im excited for the holiday but unfortunately i know that my personality will get very down when i get back as i cant handle the emotions, i get very high but its followed by a low.

i like having you to chat to,

OP posts:
alypaly · 09/09/2009 23:22

didnt mean to, how do i delete it

alypaly · 09/09/2009 23:33

just seen that you have to report it to MNHQ, so i have done that.
I think i felt as though i was just talking to you and it just came out. Thanks for noticing

Its nice having you to talk to too.
I like helping other people on mumsnet if i can with my medical knowledge but i do feel that WE have a lot in common.and you are easy to talk to.
Glad you are looking forward to your hols, i think we all get down when we come home.
Ive got lots to do on the house too,i have a handle missing on the bathroom door and my bedroom definitely need decorating from top to bottom. Still got to tile my kitchen as it has been redone but i have not found the tiles i want yet...not rushing it cant rush it as no pennies at the moment. I like being a SAHM depite having a 16 year old

alypaly · 09/09/2009 23:37

hope ive done it the right way. Hopefully speak to you tomorrow. Going to bed soon as i am shattered. Done all DS1's washing and half his ironing today...he gets away with murder and im daft enough to do it.
Night night

alypaly · 09/09/2009 23:39

how long did it take MNHQ to delete?

alypaly · 10/09/2009 11:54

thanks for the prompt on the name....as you can see, they have promptly deleted it...i dont mind you knowing as its nice to talk to you, but i wouldnt have been happy for lots of others to know...you never know who gets hold of it.
thx

ilovetochat · 10/09/2009 13:04

glad they removed it for you, its a lovely name though, one we considered for a boy.

well i had my dad round this morning and he came in with a big bag and said to dd whats in here, so she went over to look and he put his hands in and obviously put on 2 hairy monster gloves so when he pulled his hands out he had hairy monster hands and dd ran to me shaking, he said its alright they are monster gloves and she said "i dont like them" so he put them away. why does he do these ridicuous things is it me or does everybody know that isnt a good idea with a 2 yr old, he sees her weekly but always misjudges things.

then i went to walsall and looked in samuels at the watch with a diamond in, it looked huge but a man tried it on for me and it looked lovely so ive ordered it with a brown face and its being delivered next week, also found an engravers who can engrave the clasp, the back has writing on, so im pleased thats sorted.

got dds feet measured but she is still a 5.5 so no new shoes , she wanted trainers but she wears dresses mostly and would have looked like lily allen

its a lovely day again so ive done all the towels, swim towels, our bedding and dds bedding and the rotary is swinging round for its life

dd has grasped days of the week, she knows what day she does things on or sees people and knows saturday and sunday are the weekend, it amazes me how she learns things.

OP posts:
ilovetochat · 10/09/2009 13:05

sorry i didnt come back to you last night about the deletion, i went to bed.

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