I'm a really shit mommy and i cant snap out of it!

[ilovetochat]

dd is only 2 and I can't keep my cool with her and can't stop shouting at her and being nasty and i don't want to be like this as i love her so much and being a mom is what ive always wanted and im shit.
this morning i wanted to take her to baby gym which she loves and its the only class on as its school hols. we needed to leave at 9.40 so we were all ready when she decided she needs a wee. i sat her on the toilet..
dd "i need a wee"
me "have a wee and we can go"
dd "no" (raspberry)
me "do you need a wee"
dd "no"
me "lets get our shoes and go then"
dd "no i need a wee"
she was on and off the toilet laughing and blowing raspberries, i asked her if she wanted to go to gym and she said yes but then kept asking for a wee till 10.05.
i ended up shouting that she was silly and didnt deserve to go to gym and could stay in all day and be bored and i was fed up of her being silly and i went on and on at her. i just wanted to walk out the house and leave her to it as she drives me up the wall.
she then cried and asked for a cuddle and gym.
i took her to the gym and then park and we had a lovely morning out and she was good as gold and i told her i love her and how good she was being etc.
but everything i want her to do, even if its something nice like going to the park, ends up with me shouting her crying then eventually we go and have a great time.
what i am doing wrong?
Why cant i be patient with my own dd?
I feel like walking away and leaving dd and dp to it as they get on so well and im just shouting and being a bitch.

Hello ilovetochat....had a really heavy parents evening discussing all the issues of sixth form and AS and A2 levels last night> DS2 has got so much homework and they have now changed the A2 grades to include A rather than just plain A's. So he has now set himself a higher target to achieve. The unis for veterinary will now be looking for 3 A. He is doing maths with stats,biology,chemistry and latin ,but is not sure if he should drop latin after AS as 4 could be too much and he might spread himself a bit thin.

you have all this to come...

hi aly, he sounds very bright
the computer is playing up, keeps blue screening, may need looking at so apologies if i disappear.
we could do with a new thread to chat on as some of out chats are nothing to do with me parenting.
i have taken dd to debutots this morning, early years drama and she moved up to the older group and did quite well although got distracted by a toy kitchen and wandered off a bit. she enjoyed it though and got a sticker
i already feel like i need to decide about her schools as she can start nursery next sept if we choose to and we live in a grotty area so its hard, the school where the class was today was lovely, its just over the staffs border about 3 miles from here and i would prefer her schooled there but we cant afford to move. if i could find a house similar priced to ours but in stafs i would move but its doubtful as our house is ex council and cheap.
i was feeling abit down yesterday, still got pmt and dp had a meeting last night and i wanted to see my mom as they are back from hols but they were busy. mom and stepdad came round this afternoon though and it was lovley to see them and they are having dd for me tomorrow while i go to the dentist. i feel much better today, dds class cheered me up and im looking forward to our hols now.

yes you are right,we have gone off track with the thread..in a nice way though..hopefully you dont mind. Probably we should have a private thread...ha ha...

Debutots ,that sounds posh!
I would hurry up and decide about schools. I put both of mine down at 3 months old ,for the state schools just in case we couldnt afford the local public one. There was one state school, a really good one locally and i was determined to get them both to that one rather than my second than later. Avoid disappointment. Are you not in the right catchment area for the nice school or would you have to move.
I would chance asking the head and see if you can go on the waiting list.

I am proud of both my boys,they are both really bright,and high achievers in their own right.
DS1 worked really hard to get 7 A* stars and 2 a's at GCSE/and 2 a's and a B at A level.
DS2 got 4 As (having maths remarked as it is one mark off an A and 4 a's and one B.
Soory i sound as though i am boasting but i am soooo proud of them. I just want the best.

i can now tell from the way you write when you are a bit down..it shows a little bit.

You sound as if you really suffer with PMT

its not boasting, they have done very well .
the school i like is in a different borough/different county/different council so very difficult. we live in west mids, school is in staffs.
we have 4 primary schools within 1.5 miles and 1 is outstanding on ofsted and hearsay and 2 are very good, 1 is satisfactory. i will apply for an outstanding and a very good school and although her name is down you have to apply and lots of criteria apply.
im going to start a thread in chat so look out for it.
feeling sickly today but not cranky/low anymore

good idea

hi aly, there is a thread in chat with your nn in title.