Is it OK to keep a bedtime bottle at age four?

[DearDog96]

In a recent post about my MIL’s comment towards DD it was highlighted that I needed to get her out of nappies, off the dummy and going to bed without her bottle. The dummy I took away straight away and we’ve been doing well since, and nappies we’re going to try this weekend. With a baby on the way in a few months time I’m inclined to leave the bottle for now as it’s only once a day and it’s her comfort before bed, plus I feel like I’ve rocked the boat enough already! What’s everyone’s thoughts? Did any of your kids keep the night bottle at 4+?

My DS loves milk, even now at 6. I moved him from bottles to tommee tippee cups aged 1 at bedtime, then brushed teeth. Now he has a cup of milk and then he brushes his teeth. The key is to make sure bottle is not associated with bedtime soothing, so just offer in a cup instead, ideally in the kitchen or dining room, so he has the milk but not in a way that will damage teeth.

With potty training, don’t attempt nighttime until you properly crack daytime. Nighttime is a different kettle of fish and often hormonal. It’s not worth stressing and many kids aren’t dry through the night until as late as 7. But daytime toiletting is definitely something to aim for ASAP.

Get her to choose a new, special cup (open ideally, or straw if not), make a big fuss of her being a big girl and switch - don't go back! Lots of children like a little bit of milk before bed, it's the bottle that's the issue.

Yes that is too many changes in one go.

Start potty training and then don’t take the bottle away at night until at least a couple of months later. While four is a bit old not to be potty trained, there’s no benefit to your DD in making all these changes at once.

You might get lucky and she gets it in a few days or weeks or it might take months which is the more likely scenario. Even then don’t make all the changes at once, there is nothing to gain.

We potty trained at three but didn’t use milk bottles at all. Went straight from breastfed to sippy cups of water during the day, milk available from cups, and then from about 18-24 months put a sippycup-style water bottle in the cot so there is always a drink available.

I had my bottle at night until I was 6, I still remember the trauma of having to give it up. So, I let my kids have their’s for as long as they liked. They were both
about 7 when they gave them up - no teeth or any long lasting problems came
from it.

I can't believe what I am reading tbh. Nappies dummy and bottle at age 4?!! Why have you left it so late?

Whilst I agree that all three need to go I think it’s too much all at once. Yes the bottle should’ve gone years ago but you can’t roll the clock back. You’ve made great progress with the dummy. Pick one of the others to start next. I wouldn’t worry about stopping night time nappies, that’s a completely separate issue to day time. It can take some children much longer to crack night time, you just have to wait for the brain to develop. Focus on day time first and see where you go from there.

My sons 4 and still in nappies. Its so hard potty training him. Hes done wees and poos in the potty but hes just so stubborn.

I’m sorry but I don’t know any 4 year olds who still have bottles. If she really must have one then possibly a straw water bottle would be better.
I would say potty training is the biggest priority though!

Is your child going to school this year? Nappies, bottles, dummies- are all for babies/ toddlers. Yes it’s a lot of change but…. It shouldn’t have lasted that long

Thanks for normalizing things taking longer with some children. I think the parents of kids who can cope with changes early can be a bit judgy.

however, op, I found part of the book ‘oh crap potty training’ that really struck a chord with me was stop worrying if they are ready. They might never be ready. But just decide they are CAPABLE and once they’re capable get on with it. I did potty training later than some ( 2 3/4) and this method was great. I’m going to try to apply to same principle with dummy and night bottle (he still has both at night age 3 even though I know that’s ‘bad’ I have indulged him in some comforts as he has a confused life going between mum and dads house)

Looking at where you are now, I’d say bottles now then nappies in 6 weeks when the weather is reliable. It’s easier in the summer.

Of course she shouldn't have a bottle at bed. She has teeth! Stop treating her like a baby.

My three year old has a meltdown i try to give him milk in a cup. It’s his real comfort and helps him
sleep. It will be a huge battle when I decide to change this completely and I’m working up the bottle (pun!) to do so now!

I read your other post and I wanted to say a huge well done - the dummy isnt easy, so pleased that’s gone well. I’d pick your next battle - just to think about but i can see logic in going for the bottle first, explain it, go and pick a nice sippy cup together and replace it, or have a big girl treat of warm milk with a biscuit after dinner/before bed and get that gone quickly. Then in a week or so the weather should be better, the bottle will be forgotten, and nappies could be next? Well done, baby steps!

Never fails to amaze me on here how judgmental people are. Well done you for making these changes so far. You do you. For a year or so as a single parent my dd aged 3 wouldn’t for toffee go to sleep without having a packet of crisps and a banana. Yes I know it was habitual but I did what I could to get her to sleep so I could study for a few hours. She now has perfect teeth and no childhood traumas. They grow out of it all if you were posting as a mother of a teenager I’d feel differently.

Nooo don’t wait till summer. I did it in 3 days in the winter he only had one accident outside and I whisked him straight in. The older she gets the harder it gets just do it this weekend with chocolate buttons as rewards.

My children all still had a milk from a bottle at this age last at night because they loved it and enjoyed it. They are teenagers and young adults now and are the loveliest well rounded people with lovely teeth and I can safely say it had no negative impact on them. I very much believe that if something brings a child comfort then it’s not wrong to do. They’re not still going to be 20 and still doing it so who cares. In the scale of life, the universe and everything it really doesn’t matter 😁

They feel so safe when they have their little routines

Op please give me tips on the dummy its out in the daytime but still reliant on it at nighttime

so I would prioritize nappies first as that’s what friends will see then bottles as it’s ok to be a baby at night time

This. The milk is not the problem - it’s the baby bottle and also on your other thread you admitted she falls asleep sometimes having the bottle of milk and you leave it with her (not sure I understand why you’ve started a second thread on the same topic?)

Let her have the milk out of an age appropriate cup while she has her bedtime story, then brush her teeth. The teeth can be brushed in her bedroom if necessary, it is just essential that they are done after milk. You are leaving her vulnerable to tooth decay and ear infections with this bad habit of leaving her to sleep with the bottle.

I would recommend a free flow open cup rather than any bottle with a straw or ‘non spill‘ spouts just because they are nightmare to clean and will accumulate mould in the valves if they are used for milk. She will also be unable to take a free flow cup to bed with her which will make breaking the habit easier

She can’t wait til summer, her child is going to school in September

Get him a nice mug or cup let him choose a new one and give him a drink of milk then brush teeth make it as part of bedtime routine. As others have said bottle is normally stopped at 1, dry at night about 3 or 4, dry doing day around 2 to 3 unless there’s a reason such as SEN & has developmental delay (sorry haven’t seen your other thread)

My kids are in their 30s. One had a bottle until age 4.
I had a friend who was a teacher... she told me that there were always a couple of reception kids who had a (hopefully empty) bottle or dummy in their bags as a transitional object.

That’s very old for a bedtime bottle, very bad for the teeth.
With mine I switched to a drink of warm milk before bed, with teeth brushed after.
If she has done well with the dummy she will probably do well with dropping the bottle too.
Perhaps she could leave all her dummies and bottles out for the “dummy fairy” for bed and get a nice “big girl” reward for them?
That worked a treat for my DDs with their dummies