Is it OK to keep a bedtime bottle at age four?

[DearDog96]

In a recent post about my MIL’s comment towards DD it was highlighted that I needed to get her out of nappies, off the dummy and going to bed without her bottle. The dummy I took away straight away and we’ve been doing well since, and nappies we’re going to try this weekend. With a baby on the way in a few months time I’m inclined to leave the bottle for now as it’s only once a day and it’s her comfort before bed, plus I feel like I’ve rocked the boat enough already! What’s everyone’s thoughts? Did any of your kids keep the night bottle at 4+?

I won't tell you how old mine was still having bottles of milk because the thread will go nuts (much older than you could probably guess)

But mine was toilet trained by three, never had a dummy and left home and is independent much younger than many, perfect teeth too!

@DearDog96 For me it's not the bottle- it's about having it before going to sleep. She needs to brush her teeth after having milk and it will make her pee at night having it just before bedtime. Very bad habit especially if you are going to stop the diapers. Can't you find another comfort routine: singing/reading a story and giving her a little massage?

At 4yo you can just give them a glass of milk surely?

It sounds like you’ve struggled to move on from the baby phase (and the toddler phase!) You have a child now 🤷‍♀️

She should be transitioning out of daytime nappies now she is reception age.
Toilet training is hard but you just have to bite the bullet and do it or she won't learn.
They advise transitioning away from bottles to cups at 1 year of age, maybe give a small cup of milk an hour before bed.

My son had his last ever bottle around 20 months (he also only ever had one a day as was otherwise breastfed). I replaced it with a sippy cup initially and that caused no issues. Given your child is older, I'd just go straight to a cup of milk. While dropping the bottle is obviously important, the key thing is to make sure the milk is drunk at least an hour before bed so that teeth can be brushed between milk drinking and bed and to minimise the need for the toilet in the night.

No they were out of a bottle just after a year

No. There is no need for a bottle before bed. If necessary, swap the bottle for another source of comfort ( cuddly toy?)

Plenty of people said that the bottle isn't OK on your previous thread. It isn't, but I'd prioritise nappies. That's a harder one to fix and may need more time.

That’s exactly what I’m thinking. I know overall it’s not ok, but given the other battles we face is this the least significant?

Least significant and easily solved by binning the bottles when it comes to it.

Regarding the nappies...does she go to nursery? Cos that's what got my youngest out of them. He was just over 4 and wouldn't get on board with potty training at all. But nursery staff said to him oh why don't you try underwear in the morning? And he did, and took to it pretty much straight away. Mum's net will tell you nappies at 4 are the worst thing ever but not all kids are the same. If worried you could talk to your health visitor and possibly get referred to the incontinence team but honestly, it's not that unusual to still be in nappies. People just don't talk about it for fear of judgement.

Thank you, really means a lot! She doesn’t go to nursery unfortunately but am looking at enrolling her soon. You’re right, it might help push her along. Were they ok changing nappies for a child this old? I’m afraid theyre gonna judge me when I tell them she’s not trained at all

Have you told your child it's time to use a cup at bedtime? They might be keen to, many kids at that age relish the chance to do more 'grown-up' things and don't want to be seen as a baby. But if it's upsetting them then I'd first move the timing of the bottle, and then drop it.

Sorry not read all the posts

Re nappy is this daytime? If so yes if she’s 4 you definitely need to get her on the potty & out of nappies

If nighttime my goodness it’s totally fine at the age of 4

I find it bizarre she is on a bottle and still wearing nappies, crikey our 3 under 3 stopped dummies and bottles age 1 and day nappies around 1.5 and finally night nappies a couple of weeks after age 2. It's nothing to do with a child unless there's a medical reason it's totally down to lazy parenting and not moving on stages

If she’s 4 now and you’re in the UK, she should be going to school in September, not nursery. Have you applied for a place yet?

Could you not give her a glass of milk with her tea or warm milk before starting bedtime routine. Then have water available when they go to bed.

They do not need a bottle

Yes it’s daytime - going to start training at the weekend.

Yes we have and she’s got into the local school in our village! Nursery was just an idea for the next few months to get her ready

Was there a reason you didn’t put in nursery before now?

I would go straight to toilet, don’t use a potty

We just haven’t needed to as I work shifts so one of us is normally at home to look after her. If not her grandparents are close by

Nappies need to be the priority. Bottles aren't ideal but the focus needs to be on nappies.

At 4, if she doesn't have any additional needs then she is old enough to understand that wee and poo now go in the toilet. Don't give in.

Yeah they will probably judge you but you shouldn't be holding your daughter back and delay her growth and learning even more because you're embarrassed.

@DearDog96 but pre school isn’t just about childcare it is about preparing them socially etc.

You make a good point, probably one I hadn’t considered until this week. I’ve started to look at some nurseries for the next few months