Is it OK to keep a bedtime bottle at age four?

[DearDog96]

In a recent post about my MIL’s comment towards DD it was highlighted that I needed to get her out of nappies, off the dummy and going to bed without her bottle. The dummy I took away straight away and we’ve been doing well since, and nappies we’re going to try this weekend. With a baby on the way in a few months time I’m inclined to leave the bottle for now as it’s only once a day and it’s her comfort before bed, plus I feel like I’ve rocked the boat enough already! What’s everyone’s thoughts? Did any of your kids keep the night bottle at 4+?

My dc had bottles after 1 although ds4 refused them after 14 months which was a pain as he wouldn't drink from a cup either. 3 of mine were still breastfeeding until well after 1 though, they stopped at 18 months, 23 months and 2 years 3 months.

Honestly it will be a real issue her starting school still in nappies, you definitely need to make this number one priority over everything else. Can she get herself dressed/use cutlery/put shoes and coat on/open packets/write her name?

If it is any consolation, OP, my friend's sister had a bottle (filled with milky tea) on her first day of school - slugged it down in the car before going into reception. She is a barrister now.

I agree toilet training is a priority since she is so close to going to school but you do need to get rid of the bottle. Honestly it may mean more to you than it does to your dd. She'll be fine after a day or two. way better to get rid of it now before the baby arrives. Toilet training - yeah they might judge you a bit but so what.

I was going to say the same thing!

I’m in my 60s now, but I’m sure we were encouraged to try for potty training around 18 months to 2 years over the summer months as they wore less clothes and you could take the potty into garden etc to establish the routine during outside play. Certainly no milk in bottles at night past the “baby” stage as bad for teeth. Likewise dummies… mine was a sod and used to hide them from me when I was trying to get him off them. Dummy was gone before he started playgroup at almost 3 (as he was a ‘big boy’ then)
Why have you let these milestones pass without addressing them one by one? It’s going to be tough on you both trying to get these done before 2nd baby is here.

No

Start reducing the amount of milk she has in her bottle every 3 days, an ounce at a time so it’s a gradual change as you both seem to struggle with changing something.

i am sure she will be persuaded with a grownup sippy cup

All mine were off the bottle by 2 the latest, most were 1.

I would have taken the bottle before the dummy.
At 4, I'm quite shocked you are treating your child like a baby and that you even need to ask.

Are you in the UK?

Sorry just seen yout other post.

Why haven't you been doing anything about this issues until now?,

The nappies you need to go
cols turkey on and train asap! She can’t go to
school in September in nappies unless she has some kind of additional needs.
It’s really not nice, but other children will comment on a school age child in nappies and it might not be nice. teachers won’t be able to change so you will be called in every time.

If she’s 4 now, presumably in January she was almost 4 also? Was that the first attempt at toilet changing? It’s really late. The problem you have now is she’s be trained for 4 years to go in nappy! So it will likely take a lot longer to untrain, so start now.

We trained from 20 months, so Ds was fully dry by 2 years. Its So much easier.

Ditch bottle and milk overnight. Give small cup of milk an hour or so before bed. Milk in bottle at bedtime won’t help with night toilet training either

Why are you waiting until the weekend to start getting rid of the nappies, you’ve already said she’s not at a nursery?

hi, well done, having just gone through similar with my DD!
She is stubborn and was refusing toilet training - but that was how I knew we could do it. She was holding it in, for hours. For me, it was finding what talked to her as a bribe. Giving her a 'big girl' toy, but with the promise that she would now go to the potty. She was scared of the toilet.
With the dummies and bottle. a couple of months after the toilet training I started talking of a specific date that we would throw them out. She was very excited at first. I spoke about it regularly, but not too often as I didn't want to scare her. On the day she happily threw them all out. She then got another 'big girl' toy - inexpensive, but she loves it!
It was harder to put her to sleep for a bit, but we quickly settled into the new routine, and she is actually sleeping better now, as she is not reliant on the milk to settle, so when she wakes in the night now, she can self settle!!
It is hard, but I found it was my mindset that was teh difference. When I decided it was going to happen, rather than focusing on all the difficulties, it happened.
Good luck!

The nappies I would say is priority. 4 is awfully late to be toileting training when there is additional needs. Why didn't you do it years earlier?

School nursery is about education not childcare. Where is she academically? Has she not noticed about the nappies? I’m concerned she isn’t playing with children her own age or older.

Definitely too old for a bottle, i’d get rid.

In my opinion not that you’ve asked for it I’d of got rid of the dummy and the bottle way before now but I’d work on offering a cup of milk instead whether that be a drinks bottle or a open cup which shouldn’t cause too much stress im assuming she’s drinking other drinks normally through out the day. I would also go straight for the toilet and remind her or ask her every 10/15 minutes if she needs it and just extend it as she improves. 4 years old is too old for any of this and you would most likely be told and asked by the school to change these.

Sorry but If there was always someone at home with her everyday why have you left nappies so late. Are they ready for school in other ways dressing independently, eating with a knife and fork, holding a pencil, using books.

Well done for cutting the dummy. I would focus on toilet training as a priority and stop the bed bottle once that’s established. Too many changes at once may upset DD. When you do change the bedtime bottle maybe try going to a sippy type cup first.

Bottles, dummies and nappies at 4 is unusual (despite what MN says).

I would start with getting out of nappies before considering the dummy or bottle. It’s not dignified for a child that age to be using a nappy.
Loads of kids in my four years old preschool have dummy’s (not UK) and all seem to have okay teeth. I don’t see loads of adults with awful teeth either and I can’t imagine these are the first generation to be walking around with dummy’s age four.
They do however have to be toilet trained to start mandatory preschool at age three.

If you were in Scotland I wouldn’t start that child in school. No chance. I’m starting my 4 year old just before he turns 6 and he’s long toilet trained since 2, no dummies etc, can read simple books and can write his name and letters. I don’t understand the rush for school, especially a child like this. She’s not even had the experience of nursery yet.

Nursery or preschool is more about teaching independence and socialisation.

When DD was at preschool the children did PE, not because they weren't already running around, but to teach them how to dress independently. They learned how to sit quietly for short periods of time, how to engage and play with other children, how to make friends, how to drink and eat snacks independently and basically how to not need to rely on adults all the time for everything.

@DearDog96 did you never take your child to toddler groups or allow her to mix with other children her age? you would be doing your daughter a massive favour by getting her out of nappies and into a nursey otherwise school will be a massive culture shock.

Mine is a bit younger (2.5) but so stubborn about his milk.

I’ve let him keep it but earlier in the routine. So we do bath, PJ’s, milk from a baby bottle, teeth, bed. He has happily drunk water out of cups / toddler bottles, anything, since he was 1 but won’t budge on the milk!

Planning to try replacing the milk bottle with a milky “supper,” instead (warmed weetabix or similar) - perhaps that’s worth a try?

I would really focus on daytime toilet training as that’s the thing that she could be teased for at school. Although in some ways it might be easier to do dummy/bottle/nappies all in one go with a big reward/bribe lined up than a dropped especially as you’re pregnant.

good luck
!

She’s 4 and you’ve only just got rid of the dummy and she’s still on bottles. She’s not a baby anymore.