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Original poster

Is it OK to keep a bedtime bottle at age four?

386 replies

DearDog96 · 16/04/2026 20:44

In a recent post about my MIL’s comment towards DD it was highlighted that I needed to get her out of nappies, off the dummy and going to bed without her bottle. The dummy I took away straight away and we’ve been doing well since, and nappies we’re going to try this weekend. With a baby on the way in a few months time I’m inclined to leave the bottle for now as it’s only once a day and it’s her comfort before bed, plus I feel like I’ve rocked the boat enough already! What’s everyone’s thoughts? Did any of your kids keep the night bottle at 4+?

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DinoLil · 17/04/2026 15:09

A bottle????? At 4???

verabarbleen · 17/04/2026 17:40

You can get these trainer type bottles that start with a round silicone teat d then you swap it out for a beaker lil tear although it’s still silicone so still feels squishy perhaps you could try one of those? I’ll find a link 😊

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Lordofthebantams · 17/04/2026 18:56

DearDog96 · 16/04/2026 23:02

Thank you, really means a lot! She doesn’t go to nursery unfortunately but am looking at enrolling her soon. You’re right, it might help push her along. Were they ok changing nappies for a child this old? I’m afraid theyre gonna judge me when I tell them she’s not trained at all

Is she at home with you all the time?

There really is no excuse to not have her toilet trained. You've held onto babyhood far too long. She needs to be free of bottles, dummies, day nappies and learning to be away from you at preschool?

Is she chubby? A bottle of night milk is adding an extra meal into her.

Original poster
DearDog96 · 17/04/2026 19:13

LEWWW · 17/04/2026 00:44

Honestly it will be a real issue her starting school still in nappies, you definitely need to make this number one priority over everything else. Can she get herself dressed/use cutlery/put shoes and coat on/open packets/write her name?

Yep that’s the plan staring tomorrow morning! She can do most of those things apart from get dressed if it involves tricky buttons and she can write her name just about (if you squint!)

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Original poster
DearDog96 · 17/04/2026 19:17

Caspianberg · 17/04/2026 06:44

The nappies you need to go
cols turkey on and train asap! She can’t go to
school in September in nappies unless she has some kind of additional needs.
It’s really not nice, but other children will comment on a school age child in nappies and it might not be nice. teachers won’t be able to change so you will be called in every time.

If she’s 4 now, presumably in January she was almost 4 also? Was that the first attempt at toilet changing? It’s really late. The problem you have now is she’s be trained for 4 years to go in nappy! So it will likely take a lot longer to untrain, so start now.

We trained from 20 months, so Ds was fully dry by 2 years. Its So much easier.

Ditch bottle and milk overnight. Give small cup of milk an hour or so before bed. Milk in bottle at bedtime won’t help with night toilet training either

It was our first attempt yes. I’m not sure tbh, we just didn’t see the need to change anything and we’re probably busy with work commitments etc. not an excuse although you can’t go back and change the past!

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Original poster
DearDog96 · 17/04/2026 19:22

Easylifeornot · 17/04/2026 07:42

School nursery is about education not childcare. Where is she academically? Has she not noticed about the nappies? I’m concerned she isn’t playing with children her own age or older.

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We have friends and family with similar age children. And she doesn’t mind at all, in fact when we tried training at the beginning of the year she was asking for them back!

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Original poster
DearDog96 · 17/04/2026 19:23

Iloveeverycat · 17/04/2026 08:18

Sorry but If there was always someone at home with her everyday why have you left nappies so late. Are they ready for school in other ways dressing independently, eating with a knife and fork, holding a pencil, using books.

Edited
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She was happy and we just never really saw a reason to change anything until now. But yes she can do all the other things you mentioned

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Original poster
DearDog96 · 17/04/2026 19:25

RampantIvy · 17/04/2026 10:12

Nursery or preschool is more about teaching independence and socialisation.

When DD was at preschool the children did PE, not because they weren't already running around, but to teach them how to dress independently. They learned how to sit quietly for short periods of time, how to engage and play with other children, how to make friends, how to drink and eat snacks independently and basically how to not need to rely on adults all the time for everything.

@DearDog96 did you never take your child to toddler groups or allow her to mix with other children her age? you would be doing your daughter a massive favour by getting her out of nappies and into a nursey otherwise school will be a massive culture shock.

Yeah we go to a playgroup a couple of times a week and she loves it!

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Original poster
DearDog96 · 17/04/2026 19:27

verabarbleen · 17/04/2026 17:41

Thank you so much!

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sittingonabeach · 17/04/2026 19:27

@DearDog96 has she ever been anywhere without you or another relative?

RoseField1 · 17/04/2026 19:28

DearDog96 · 17/04/2026 19:17

It was our first attempt yes. I’m not sure tbh, we just didn’t see the need to change anything and we’re probably busy with work commitments etc. not an excuse although you can’t go back and change the past!

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You didn't attempt potty training before your child was 4 because you didn't see the need to change anything?
I am sorry but this is veering towards neglect. You are responsible for helping your child to develop appropriately in line with her age and development. Just leaving her in nappies as well as with a bottle and dummy because it didn't occur to you that you needed to change your care as she gets older is bizarre.

Original poster
DearDog96 · 17/04/2026 19:29

Lordofthebantams · 17/04/2026 18:56

Is she at home with you all the time?

There really is no excuse to not have her toilet trained. You've held onto babyhood far too long. She needs to be free of bottles, dummies, day nappies and learning to be away from you at preschool?

Is she chubby? A bottle of night milk is adding an extra meal into her.

Show quote history

I probably have a bit I’ll admit. And she will be, that’s the plan. Just gradually I think is better than all at once.

and yes she is a little, but I doubt it’s the milk. I think it’s just puppy fat cos a bottle of milk is what, 50 calories?

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Original poster
DearDog96 · 17/04/2026 19:30

sittingonabeach · 17/04/2026 19:27

@DearDog96 has she ever been anywhere without you or another relative?

Yes she’s been to friends houses

OP posts:
hahabahbag · 17/04/2026 19:30

Bottles should be gone around 1, as soon as they can drink properly from a cup, by 4 they should be drinking from an open cup not a sippy cup. Special needs aside you aren’t doing them any favours keeping them on bottles

Perfect28 · 17/04/2026 19:31

No

Nickyknackered · 17/04/2026 19:31

DearDog96 · 17/04/2026 19:29

I probably have a bit I’ll admit. And she will be, that’s the plan. Just gradually I think is better than all at once.

and yes she is a little, but I doubt it’s the milk. I think it’s just puppy fat cos a bottle of milk is what, 50 calories?

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100kcal +

PoppySaidYesIKnow · 17/04/2026 19:32

Just go cold turkey on the nappies. Don’t buy any more and tell her they have to be left in the shops for younger babies and toddlers to wear. Buy her some knickers with her favourite characters etc and be prepared for a hard time, accidents and objections. But you’re the parent and you owe it to her to ensure she develops age appropriate skills.

Bryonyberries · 17/04/2026 19:32

You could try bedtime milk in a cup, brush teeth, then water in the bottle so there is still the comfort of sucking but without danger to teeth. Without the milk in a few weeks they may not want the bottle any more.

That said, four year olds can be very stubborn and you may have some meltdowns doing this but it is worth persevering so that by time baby comes it is long forgotten. Try introducing older activities, praising them for being so grown up now and being able to do x/y/z to help their mindset change about being older.

Original poster
DearDog96 · 17/04/2026 19:35

Nickyknackered · 17/04/2026 19:31

100kcal +

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Oh wow I never realised that! Sometimes she has 2😳 will definitely start cutting it down

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sittingonabeach · 17/04/2026 19:37

@DearDog96 how is her eating? What does she drink during the day?

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 17/04/2026 19:47

It is neglect 🤷‍♀️

Dummies, bottles and nappies at age 4yo is really lazy parenting.

It’s good you’re doing something about it now op and hopefully you’ll be a more proactive parent in future.

TinyMouseTheatre · 17/04/2026 19:56

DearDog96 · 17/04/2026 19:29

I probably have a bit I’ll admit. And she will be, that’s the plan. Just gradually I think is better than all at once.

and yes she is a little, but I doubt it’s the milk. I think it’s just puppy fat cos a bottle of milk is what, 50 calories?

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Depends too on what kind of milk and how many Floz she’s having. So if she’s having say 200 ml of First Steps Growing Up milk it’s 134 calories.

There’s a good guide on feeding 4 year olds here. It’s useful because it suggests menus and gives information on portion sizes. I found it really difficult to get information on portion sizes when I started to look.

If she’s got a bit of puppy fat does she get much exercise like going to the park, swimming, scooting or riding a bike?

UnicornMamma · 17/04/2026 19:59

Unless there are some additional needs, then this all should've been done 2.5 years 3 max!

At 4 school is in September and the transition will be a lot now as she is essentially jumping from baby to school

TheBlueKoala · 17/04/2026 20:01

DearDog96 · 16/04/2026 22:52

That’s exactly what I’m thinking. I know overall it’s not ok, but given the other battles we face is this the least significant?

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It's not the bottle per se- It's the moment you give it. Don't give it before she goes to sleep because it will make her pee at night.