Teacher called after my seven-year-old asked a very upsetting question

[Woewyd]

I’ve just had a phonecall from my child’s teacher to inform me that today at school they asked their table to put up hand their if they wanted xxxxxx to die? Wwyd. They are 7.

I have asked if anything happened or had been said before they asked this question of their table, no. I asked what on earth possessed them to ask such a question, don’t know. Had a chat about how that would make someone feel, how unkind it is etc etc. There was remorse, my child was upset but I feel so disappointed and unsure as to whether I should do anything more.

I this this needs some more context? What prompted your DC to ask their table a question?

I can't really understand your post @Woewyd

Did the teacher ask the upsetting question or did your daughter?

is xxxxx a person, animal, fictional character or what?

Who are the “they”?

Sounds like daughter, call her Summer said "put your hand up if you want Autumn to die?" (autumn being friend)

Would that be right op?

what is the xxxxx - fucking die?

You’re over thinking this. At 7 they don’t have much of an understanding of death so I’m not sure they would fully understand what
they were asking.

You’ve had a good chat with her. I’d leave it at that.

I understood the Op and I’m dyslexic 😆

I also understood the OP but without knowing who xxxx is, it's hard to give much useful info.

Were they talking about one of their classmates, OP? Or a member of staff?

Or a public figure of some kind?

Because my response would be very different if they're saying that about another person in the room vs someone who they will never get anywhere near.

So it sounds like your 7 year old was attempting to unite the table if children against one particular child.

It sort of doesn't matter what he said, some kids might have said 'hands up if we all hate Toby/Harrison/Josh/<insert name>', fundamentally he was just being pretty unkind and trying to assert dominance by uniting everyone against some other poor kid. Not nice behaviour, I would be very careful OP as what seems a bit strange now, where you just don't understand why he did it, can become your child bullying others later on.

Where are you that children are at school this week?

Yes this is exactly what happened. xxxx is the other child whose name I didn’t want to post.

My kids are at school this week. I’m in Rutland.

HTH.

This is my concern. We discussed bullying when I spoke to them about it but unsure if there is something else I can/should be doing at this point.

What else was said? Did you have a wider discussion with the teacher about how your child is interacting with their peers, their general behaviour in class and at school? If not, you may want to make an appointment to try and get to the bottom of what might be going on.

Thanks, this does make me feel better. I do have a tendency to over think things. I’m just so sad that they would say something like that.

Not really it was a phonecall after school. I didnt really know what to say other than that I would speak to them and thanks for letting me know. Thanks, I think this might be a good idea.

I work in primary. This game of ‘putting your hand up if’ is played all the time. I would think at the age of 7 it was just said without thought. They just need a good talking to hence why you were informed . At that age the concept of ‘to die’ is a bit abstract.

What’s that got to do with anything? I’m in West Midlands and have one primary and one secondary, one is off, one is still at school. Are you shocked not all schools are the exact same? 🙄🙄

Why does your dd not like the other girl? Has something happened there?

So what? children's relationship with the concept of death is different to adults - it was probably meant in the childish rather than literal sense - non event really, can't understand why the teacher bothered phoning home!

xxxx is a classmate 😔

Are they watching stuff online or gaming online? There’s all sorts of “pranks” that YouTubers play on each other that are just straight up bullying and would easily set a precedent for this kind of immature and cruel language. We had to completely ban YouTube because of this.

Our kids at school in the south west this week.

Your child is a bully - plain and simple! And yes at 7 they understand death is forever and understand how upsetting it would be if someone died!