What are your views on smacking?

[DevilwearsPrada]

I was smacked as a child and I am of the view that it hasn't done me any harm. Before I had kids I was certain I wouldn't smack. When I had dd1 (5) I didn't smack her (PFB and all that) but I think if I had she would be more disciplined now. Hindsight and all that.

With dd2 (19 months) I wasn't going to smack either but now she's into toddlerdom and getting up to all sorts I find it's the only way I can stop her doing things. I nly lightly tap her on the bum a couple of times and she is wearing a nappy so won't really hurt. But the shock of it stops her being naughty. I do give her a warning before I do it. I tell her no but she just laughs and does it again. I have a 3 strike rule. With dd1 because I've never smacked her I don't intend to start now. I can reason with her and punish her with taking away things which is hard to do with a 19 month old. I intend to stop smacking dd2 when she reaches an age she'll understand punishment.

I don't really want to smack them both as they get older but I won't rule it out if they're terribly naughty.

What are your views? And how do you discipline your DC?

Personally I don't smack and I was smacked as a child and remember it vividly. I can understand people smacking out of frustration and anger but not as part of a plan. SOrry, you did ask for views.

We've always disciplined by talking, redirecting, distraction. Never had to punish ds (now 12) and dd can be a handful but usually because she's tired so tend to try to avoid this situation.

DP I have never smacked and am firmly in the camp that thinks it is wrong
I have used time out mainly with ds1 when he was a toddler ds2 is only 10 mths but very frisky so I just move him away with a firm no from anything I don't want him to touch

tbh I have more sympathy with those who smack in the height of anger than the planned smacking seems a bit cold and calculating to me

I was, I don't.

never did me any harm, hasn't done any harm to not smack my two either. 3yr old so far pretty well behaved.

I have no strong feelings either way. Each to their own.

I smack every now and then

I think it's fine

I've been teaching for a good few years a wide range of ages and never smacked...

I also would not 'plan' it into the discipline tactics either though.

I was smacked as a child.

I have never smacked my children.

I remember being smacked once of twice, but don't feel scarred by it. I think it definitely kept me in line, as I remember a few times at bedtime, when mucking about upstairs, as a little girl hearing my dad's footsteps thumping up the stairs (he's a lovely calm caring man by the way, still is) and I ran hell for leather back to bed, stuck my head under the duvet and did not move til the next morning.

The threat of it did the trick more than the act obviously. And come to think of it, I remember my mum once smacking me on the bum, but never him.....

Oh, I lose it all the time. Which is why I have to have an absolutely iron rule not to lash out.

I deeply resent the smacking my parents gave me. Still.

I was smacked as a child, only by my mum. I don't believe that it did me any harm; we have a fab relationship.

I did smack my eldest as a toddler, I think due to lack of parenting experience and knowledge of alternatives. I'm certainly not proud of it and OTW don't advocate smacking. ds2 was smacked very occasionally and dd never. Ds2's behaviour would have tried the patience of a saint TBH and I tried everything with him - ignoring/rewards/naughty step (he never, ever stayed) you name it.

However, some of the alternatives offered these days I don't find any better than smacking. The shutting in the room and holding the door which is advocated by some parenting gurus is one I find particularly cruel and just as 'abusive' (and in no way do I mean that everyone who smacks is an abuser).

I was smacked and it didn't bother me. However my reasons for not smacking my DDs are:

1. Can't tell my children it's wrong to hit and then let them see me hit them.
2. Losing my temper to the point of hitting a child frightens me and I would get more upset than the child.
3. Not convinced it works anyway.

I thin it's lazy and inadequate parenting to smack. Other strategies are more effective and less damaging imo

As a foster parent you are not allowed to hit children in your care and we could be prosecuted/struck off if we did.

Why should children in natural born families be different. I understand why some parents do/have but I think it's wrong to hit anyone, not just people smaller than me.

Saggars, completely agree with you about the shutting the door one. I tried it once with dd - never, ever again. She still mentioned it occasionally for about 3 years after it happened

I find the door-closing quite effective myself.

Agree with staranise that I would be quite scared of myself if I lost my temper that much that I lashed out at a three year old. Guess that is why I find other ways of dealing with dreadful behaviour.

if it shocks her then it must hurt her to some extent.

by smacking you are teaching your child (all beit subconciously) that if someone is doing something you dont like -hit them.

If i was in teh street and started shouting would it be acceptbale to hit me? no. because i am an adult.
it should be no different for a child.

I was smacked, by my dm, and occasionly smacked my dd's when they were younger. I don't know when I last did it.
I've never smacked them when I was in a temper, as that's what's my dm did. She knows now she was maybe a bit ott, but it never really bothered me.

i was smacked (well more like beaten) as a child and it did do me a great deal emotional harm for many years but i did go on to smack my children on occasion.
i think it is personal choice whether a parent chooses to use smacking as a form of discipline and i would never judge anyone either way they choose.

I was smacked - never did me any harm. I'm going to try not to smack DD unless she's going to harm herself.

Running into the road, poking fingers into electrical points etc. Even then i'm hoping it will only be a tap on the hand depends how much danger shes' in and whether I can control my panic. lol

I was smacked as a child

I have smacked my children on the odd occasion and it has been more due to my own frustration and anger and not a plan to smack (probably happens once or twice a year) - I don't obsess about it, I apologise we move on.

I was smacked by my mother, then she moved on to telling me to hold out my hand, "hand" she'd say, and she'd smack my hand, until I was 13/14, when I smacked her hand back. She never did it again, or apologised.

My father never touched me. But he used to smack our cat

I used to smack both ds but then heard of that anti smacking charity, EPOCH??, and there was quite a debate about whether schools could do it. Other countries just don't do it, so I gave it up in fits and starts. I was horrified at myself when I gave a double smack. That shocked me into trying and trying and trying to give up. And I did!

I don't hit/smack or do the grounding thing, or time out, though I used to go off to have a bath on my own if I couldn't stand things.

I was smacked as a child there a re a few times I can remember having the outline of my mothers fingerprints on my legs (sorrounded my red of course) I remember friends saying they got belted or kicked as well.

I have never smacked my children and hope I never lose it so much I do smack them.