What are your views on smacking?

[DevilwearsPrada]

I was smacked as a child and I am of the view that it hasn't done me any harm. Before I had kids I was certain I wouldn't smack. When I had dd1 (5) I didn't smack her (PFB and all that) but I think if I had she would be more disciplined now. Hindsight and all that.

With dd2 (19 months) I wasn't going to smack either but now she's into toddlerdom and getting up to all sorts I find it's the only way I can stop her doing things. I nly lightly tap her on the bum a couple of times and she is wearing a nappy so won't really hurt. But the shock of it stops her being naughty. I do give her a warning before I do it. I tell her no but she just laughs and does it again. I have a 3 strike rule. With dd1 because I've never smacked her I don't intend to start now. I can reason with her and punish her with taking away things which is hard to do with a 19 month old. I intend to stop smacking dd2 when she reaches an age she'll understand punishment.

I don't really want to smack them both as they get older but I won't rule it out if they're terribly naughty.

What are your views? And how do you discipline your DC?

Nagapie - how did you know I had that one too!

Perhaps your children hope that you would know better too!

But how does smacking teach right from wrong? What does it teach? Are you suggesting teachers are allowed to smack in schools and nurseries?

So just to take this argument on in the direction it seems to be heading.

If your DH hits you once perhpas on the arm or the leg - that's okay? That's not domestic violence?

What about if he threatens to hit you? He's done it before, so you know he might, you are scared that he will - frightened of him - is that okay?

I just cannot see why expecting adults hitting and scaring each other is seen as bad behaviour, but hitting and scaring children is okay!

Sheena - smacking is NOT teaching someone right from wrong. You're just teaching a child that if someone does something you don't like or don't want them to do it's OK to thump them.

i never said anything bout thumpin them i basically tap my dd's arm and she listens

I don't get how a tap could get your child to listen.I just tapped dd (4) on the arm and she didnt even notice what I'd done.

Oh god - we're back to the tapping euphemism

Yes but when you "tap" her she is too young to differentiate between levels of hitting. (And I think tapping when referring to smacking is stupid word, a tap on the arm is not a smack. I think people who say they tap their kids when they are smacking them are deluding themselves that what they are doing is OK)

Dd still doesnt realise I just 'tapped' her. It's taught her nothing!

How is it different? A lot of parents of my parents generation used to pull their kids trousers down to give them a smack on their bottoms. Were they child abusers?

If they are symbolic then what is the point? I still dont get how your dd understands the symbolism and is taught something by the symbolism.

So as a teacher can I do this do the children in my class. It would save me sooo much time.

i've smacked a couple of times, not planned.

once was when Dd2 ran away from me and towards the road.

i regretted it, but she scared the pants off me and i just reacted.

also to Dd1 once as she was pulling a chest of drawers down whilst i was trying to get dd2 changed. i'd warned her off and she just shrieked, 'NO!'.

had to feed ds

At the end of the day everyone is intited to there opinion and i have mine as much as u all have yours peoples disapline technics are different from others

If that is what we said about all topics there would be no discussions on mumsnet. That is why we discuss and ask questions of each other. I am still interested in your views on teachers smacking.

Sorry that was worded badly. I didn't mean you I didnt think you were entitled to your opinion.

I personally dont think teachers should smack but should have some more powers of disapline

But surely if you think it's acceptable and actually very effective to smack as a parent why would that change if done by a teacher? Surely if a teacher who has 30 kids at a time could enforce discipline far quicker and more effectively by smacking than other techniques at least some of the time then discipline in schools would be improved?