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Parenting

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Original poster

What are your views on smacking?

208 replies

DevilwearsPrada · 03/05/2008 11:51

I was smacked as a child and I am of the view that it hasn't done me any harm. Before I had kids I was certain I wouldn't smack. When I had dd1 (5) I didn't smack her (PFB and all that) but I think if I had she would be more disciplined now. Hindsight and all that.

With dd2 (19 months) I wasn't going to smack either but now she's into toddlerdom and getting up to all sorts I find it's the only way I can stop her doing things. I nly lightly tap her on the bum a couple of times and she is wearing a nappy so won't really hurt. But the shock of it stops her being naughty. I do give her a warning before I do it. I tell her no but she just laughs and does it again. I have a 3 strike rule. With dd1 because I've never smacked her I don't intend to start now. I can reason with her and punish her with taking away things which is hard to do with a 19 month old. I intend to stop smacking dd2 when she reaches an age she'll understand punishment.

I don't really want to smack them both as they get older but I won't rule it out if they're terribly naughty.

What are your views? And how do you discipline your DC?

OP posts:

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Heathcliffscathy · 04/05/2008 22:26

prada if someone called YOU barbaric i don't think that was called for at all.

please don't get defensive, no one is perfect and I for one am not so sure that my non-smacking but lots of shouting is any better...

that doesn't mean we shouldn't try and improve the way we parent does it?

juuule · 04/05/2008 22:27

I don't think that having other kids to deal with is an excuse for smacking - it might be a reason if you get out of control yourself. I don't agree with the naughty step either so don't do that. I do think that you can remove, distract, and/or talk to the child. I also don't think that the type of smacking you seem to be talking about is barbaric either, just not necessary and the other ways are more effective long-term.

juuule · 04/05/2008 22:29

Meant I don't do the naughty step, not instructing you not to

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kittywise · 04/05/2008 22:32

I don't like the naughty step either

AbbeyA · 04/05/2008 22:34

I don't like the naughty step-glad I'm not the only one.

Original poster

DevilwearsPrada · 04/05/2008 22:45

Thank you Kittywise. Wow I got some people to agree with me down with the naughty step.

OP posts:

seeker · 05/05/2008 06:26

It was silly of someone to call you barbaric.

But I am so puzzled by this word "tap". If you tap someone on the bottom when they are wearing a nappy, they wouldn't feel it, surely - and what's the point of that?

I tapped someone on the shoulder yesterday to attract her attention because I wanted to tell her her bag was open.

BumperliciousNeedsToSleep · 05/05/2008 10:19

Seeker, that was exactly my point earlier, if people who smack say "it doesn't hurt, it's not hard" then what exactly is it achieving?

And what if you smack a child and they still don't do what you want them to do? Do you smack them harder? Where else is there to go after smacking?

hercules1 · 05/05/2008 10:21

I don't smack and I don't by default use the naughty step either. I tried tapping dd on her arm earlier in this thread and she didnt even notice so I'm really not sure what tapping a child achieves especially through a nappy as I tapped her on her bare arm.

hercules1 · 05/05/2008 10:22

crossed with bumper. I guess if I'd wanted to 'teach' her something I'd have had to apply far more pressure ie to hurt her and that would be more than a tap.

Anna8888 · 05/05/2008 10:27

DevilwearsPrada - how can you claim that being smacked by your parents did you no harm?

They treated you badly... you now think that that is "normal" and you let yourself be treated badly by your DH and don't know how to stand up for yourself.

Think about it.

FluffyMummy123 · 05/05/2008 10:29

Message withdrawn

FluffyMummy123 · 05/05/2008 10:29

Message withdrawn

seeker · 05/05/2008 10:31

I am tempted to point out that people who say being smacked did them no harm don't seem to realize that it has turned them into the sort of people who think it's OK for big people to hit little people.

But that would be inflammatory - so I won't.

BumperliciousNeedsToSleep · 05/05/2008 10:38

Cod, not sure that DWP is the same poster as TDWP?

BumperliciousNeedsToSleep · 05/05/2008 10:40

But I could be wrong.

Heathcliffscathy · 05/05/2008 10:44

[neeeeeeowwwww]

sound of all this going straight over sophable's head

FluffyMummy123 · 05/05/2008 10:45

Message withdrawn

RubyRioja · 05/05/2008 10:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WinkyWinkola · 05/05/2008 10:51

I don't use the naughty step either but what's wrong with it? I'm curious.

I don't like smacking and don't do it myself but I'm of the thinking that there's an awful lot worse things that happen to children that I wish more people would get excited about.

Acinonyx · 05/05/2008 17:09

My mother used to say that being smacked never did her any harm.

But then she also talked a lot about how cowed she was by her father and how this had made her fearful and submissive all her life.

Funny that.

sfxmum · 05/05/2008 17:21

sorry for doing the usual just skimming over thread after reading OP

personally I am completely against smacking as I feel if things get to a point where I would feel like smacking is the thing to do, I would have pretty much lost control of the situation and would have to re think step back start again

don't use naughty step either, it seems like time out for parents and of not much real use, long term, for the kids

but I have picked up dd kicking and screaming (she was but I was close to it) taken her out of a situation to a calm place for both our sakes.

Original poster

DevilwearsPrada · 05/05/2008 17:24

I'm sorry Anna8888 but I have no idea what you're talking about. My parents did not treat badly at all I had a very good and loving childhood better than most people actually.

And as for my DH I have no idea were you got the impression that my DH treats me badly? (really puzzled about that one) I've never said anything about my DH, we're in a very loving trusting stable relationship and have been for the past 13 years. I think you may have your wires crossed somewhere.

OP posts:

Heathcliffscathy · 05/05/2008 17:25

DWP i htink you're being mixed up with a poster called THEdevilwearsprada.

Original poster

DevilwearsPrada · 05/05/2008 17:26

Cod you've definately got me mixed up with someone else. I don't know who you're talking about. I only started posting here a few months back.

OP posts:

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