To hate the phrase "No Thank you"

[Wishingplenty]

I really hate the phrase "No Thank you" often said to a very young child, usually in a high pitched condescending tone, often when said child just wants to interact in a friendly manner with whoever is saying it's child.
Case in point, my 10 month old baby who has just started crawling, crawled up to a child about 3 and wanted to look at her boots. Mother of said child says loudly in a really high pitched condescending to tone oh "No Thank you" to my baby son.
Why say this to a baby? and why are you teaching your toddler to be totally unpleasant to a much younger child?
I have encountered this a few times to varying degrees with other children and just find it so utterly rude and nasty and most of all completely unnecessary!

No thank you

Actively bully a baby by saying no thank you 🤣🤣🤣

Seriously get a grip

Thank you for this! I am finding the responses here very odd and not natural.

Venomous contempt? Are you maybe overegging the pudding a bit?

A 3yo reacting to their boot being grabbed or gummed on or anything else a 10m old baby does with something they are interested it?

Yes! Definitely yes!

Not viciously, but in a moving away or shaking bit off manner. 3 years olds are erratic, impulsive wee souls.

The mum was demonstrating to her toddler how to say No in a way that’s very common in nursery and similar environments.

@Wishingplenty - so far in this thread No Thank You has been passive aggressive, condescending, rude, nasty, with venomous contempt, and bullying a baby… meaning they should “stay home” and you are “nicer and kinder.”

I think I speak for many other posters on the thread when I say
No, thank you.

Agreed. But the response will be an entitled "why should she have to explain herself?"

The same attitude being taught to the 3 year old. As if life works that way that you can just announce "no thank you" whenever you please.

This. The mother wasn't teaching her child boundaries at all. What a load of rubbish. If you don't want children interacting with your child, don't take them out where there will be other children. Jesus people are getting weirder and weirder by the day. And anything said with a tone can be rude, people are getting too hung up on just the words said. Tone or emphasis can completely change the meaning of a phrase.

Agreed. The woman was ridiculous.

Also maybe the 3 yr old had had a bad morning with lots of stimulation, maybe the mum knew that the 3 yr old doesn’t like people touching her/ her stuff (perfectly normal), and the mum was worried that the child would either react badly or have a melt down. Either way the child and mum are entitled to say no to your baby- how would you prefer they do it?

I absolutely hate "You're Welcome"

Also wanted to add that 3 is an assumption that might not be right. My 22 month old is constantly mistaken for being 2.5 - 3 years old. He's much much bigger than other children his age and people often express that they can't believe he isn't even 2 yet.

He's constantly expected to behave as a 3 year old instead of a 1 year old. He's actually socially doing well for his age but not compared to children a year or more older than him.

Perhaps he was younger than you thought?

Then don't take her to baby groups.

"No thank you" is fine. It's firmly but politely communicating that she/her 3 year old doesn't want the baby touching the boots.

I don't know how one would say it with venomous contempt. Something I'll have to try and practice.

Would you have preferred she said to you "Excuse me would you remove your baby please?" Or would you have taken offence at that too?

I disagree with your premise that because they were at a toddler group they should have interacted with any other baby or toddler who approached them. Maybe they just wanted to get out of the house, maybe they enjoy playing with the toys or doing some of the activities that are there.

So what should they do instead? Just pick your child up and move them away? I think 'no thank you' is far more polite than 'oi piss off!'

Your child does need to learn to respect others' personal space.

So you have a problem with the way it was said and not the actual thing being said?

“Please” really pisses me off.

😂

Tbh I hate babies near my feet too. Yucky, sticky, drooling things, but I would have thought you would prefer your child not to directly touch items that could have dog poo on them shrug

No thank you is fine. Just because it’s a baby group, it doesn’t mean that baby can crawl over another child and touch them.

You’d soon be complaining if the toddler kicked your baby because they found the touching to be annoying.

It's literally the most polite thing you could say!

She said "no thank you" in a condescending, venomously contemptuous and passive aggressive tone?? That is IMPRESSIVE!

Don't get me started on 'excuse me'. Absolute bullying fuckers.

If my own 3 year old were to say this and actively bully a baby, which is what it amounts to I would tell her off.

You are completely insane.