To hate the phrase "No Thank you"

[Wishingplenty]

I really hate the phrase "No Thank you" often said to a very young child, usually in a high pitched condescending tone, often when said child just wants to interact in a friendly manner with whoever is saying it's child.
Case in point, my 10 month old baby who has just started crawling, crawled up to a child about 3 and wanted to look at her boots. Mother of said child says loudly in a really high pitched condescending to tone oh "No Thank you" to my baby son.
Why say this to a baby? and why are you teaching your toddler to be totally unpleasant to a much younger child?
I have encountered this a few times to varying degrees with other children and just find it so utterly rude and nasty and most of all completely unnecessary!

Bullying a baby?! 😂

This thread has got to be a pisstake.

Assuming the baby didn't actually crawl onto the 3 year old, these answers are absolutely mad and, imo, indicative of societal breakdown.

Of course personal boundaries are important, but so is kindness and understanding. Greeting babies at a baby group with "no thank you" is the height of wankiness.

The parents are normally nearby and a simple 'I'm sorry, my little girl doesn't like...." would be loads better. The baby won't have a clue what they've done wrong.

By saying ‘no thank you’ 😳

But 'no thank you' in this context = 'oi parent of this small crawling baby, please remove them from the vicinity of my child's feet because a) my kid doesn't want her new boots dribbled on & b) I am worried your baby will get accidentally or not so accidentally kicked'.

But with a veneer of politeness.

I mean, take a hint. Just pick up the crawler, switch them 180 degrees & set them off towards the actual toys. But watch because at that age, they'd much rather poke at the heating vents or tangle themselves in the curtains.

Crawling babies are annoying & need supervising 🤷🏻‍♀️

I'd have thought that the very next step in 'baby crawling up to admire boots' would be 'baby leaning down to try to get as much boot in mouth as physically possible.'

I would have removed baby at 'admiring boots' stage, before it ever got to the approaching, because babies will try to put EVERYTHING in their mouths and boots has got to be way way down on the list of things you want your baby to suck.

Which was probably what the mum meant by 'no, thank you.'

It is her manner you are upset about, not the phrase and I can understand that. If using pleases and thank yous offends, the world really has went to hell in a handcart!

Because some people are swines. Born like that. I would be thrilled if your baby crawled up to my dcs, my dcs would have loved that! He is not a dog, to be discouraged like that. If a toddler is scared, which I doubt it would be, then it is a different matter. But friendly interaction like that is just wonderful.

It’s not rude. It’s asserting boundaries regardless of the age of the children involved. Its also about challenging the entitlement that is so prevalent nowadays

God people are such miserable fuckers. This is a baby at a baby group (which tbh was pretty clear at the scene setting in the first post) trying to interact with another child.

If that mother is entitled to say "no thank you" to a crawling baby being inquisitive, then OP is entitled to feel offended by it.

No wonder people moan about how unfriendly baby groups are on here. I can imagine one full of the people on this thread all sitting alone with their kids and shooing all the other kids away from theirs because boundaries.

Is this a joke? No thank you is bullying?

The whole point of a baby group is for babies and toddlers to start to learn terms like “no” and realising what they mean. Not everyone wants your baby touching them at any given time, and “no thank you” is a perfectly acceptable and polite way to stop an unwanted behaviour? What would you have preferred her to say? Assuming that you accept that there is an option other than letting your perfect baby do whatever it feels like at any given time regardless of how the other person feels?

What other absolutely benign phrases do you object to when they are said to your children I wonder? How do you feel about, “not at the moment thank you”, “please could you stop doing that” etc?

Most pre schools teach this.

Couldn't find it in me to waste a thought over it!

Why do you think you and your toddler is center of the universe?

Others are not there for your entertainment.

Don't encroach on others, you can't moan they where rude when it wouldn't have happened if you weren't rude in the first place.

Would you just prefer her to shout NO or GET OFF.

I would say No thank you too

Lol @ a polite 'No thank you' being described as 'venomous contempt'! 🤣🤣

Gotta love Mumsnet ❤

You have no idea about the woman or her toddler though.

Perhaps he's going through a biting phase. We are always told that's normal and a developmental phase some kids go through and you have to help teach your child and take them away from situations that might trigger it.

Maybe the child hates their shoes being touched ("MY SHOES! MINE!") and she wanted to model how to decline nicely and wanted you to get your crawling baby away before they became the next victim of her 3 year olds vicious toothy attack.

Perhaps he is autistic and has sensory issues about being touched which could result in him screaming for the next 45 minutes.

Perhaps on the way here he stood in dog poo and she had to get him to stamp it in a puddle and wipe it with a leaf. Or perhaps she thinks shoes are dirty anyway and doesn't want a baby touching it and then their mouth.

Perhaps he's just had a baby brother and is having a really hard time adjusting so she took him to group to play with him 1 on 1 while dad keeps baby at home and the last thing she wants, in their precious hour of time together, is to have to make him spend his time interacting with a baby he doesn't know instead of playing with the cool dinosaurs.

I'm genuinely confused, in what way is no thank you venomous and contemptuous? What's she supposed to say? It's better than "feck off you wee snotbag".

No thank you is perfectly polite.

Her 3 year old doesn't need to tolerate your baby.

I find the opposite. So many mums are too gentle/lazy to enforce any boundaries on their kids at all and let them climb all over anything with zero respect (from the parent) of the person who is trying to do something. I am thinking of organised activities like songs at the library here, with lazy parents letting their kids disrupt the group and do nothing about it.

I'm waiting for this thread to be deleted...

I certainly wouldn't trust my baby's face to a frustrated three year old's depth perception or impulse control.

Venomous contempt?! Really

It is literally a polite response to unwanted contact. You're not really showing the kindness you claim to have as a quality.

And you're overthinking this massively.