To hate the phrase "No Thank you"

[Wishingplenty]

I really hate the phrase "No Thank you" often said to a very young child, usually in a high pitched condescending tone, often when said child just wants to interact in a friendly manner with whoever is saying it's child.
Case in point, my 10 month old baby who has just started crawling, crawled up to a child about 3 and wanted to look at her boots. Mother of said child says loudly in a really high pitched condescending to tone oh "No Thank you" to my baby son.
Why say this to a baby? and why are you teaching your toddler to be totally unpleasant to a much younger child?
I have encountered this a few times to varying degrees with other children and just find it so utterly rude and nasty and most of all completely unnecessary!

So in a baby group setting you think no baby should go near your 3 year old?

Well I have a 7 year old, 3 year old and a baby, and I have never once spoke to someone else's child with such venomous contempt. It so rude and horrible, especially at a place where you are supposed to be nice to each others children. I guess I am just nicer and kinder than the majority of people especially on here.

So in a baby group setting you think it’s ok for babies to crawl all over anyone they choose?

Yes because they are a baby. And that's what babies do.

It is modeling that the first decline of an unwanted touch or advance can be polite because the person may have violated boundaries inadvertently. If the trespasser does not respond, the parent should model a more forceful second response.

teaching children, especially girls, firm boundaries about body autonomy is more important than a child’s need to explore.

I'm not sure that's entirely true.

Venomous contempt, rude and horrible? She said "no thank you!"
Get a grip!

Saying no thank you is venomous contempt?!

Have a word with yourself.

To be fair I said this to my good friend's toddler a couple weeks ago when she was trying to touch me with yoghurt and snot all over her face. I don't want that on me!

Don't be so bloody pompous.

Excellent response.

My 3yo DS would have been extremely likely to kick a baby in the face if they touched his feet 😬

He's autistic, which we didn't know then. No matter how much I modelled kind hands/feet, and tried to pre-empt every scenario, he would still unpredictably and frequently lash out if a child touched him when he didn't want to be touched.

So I'd have been the mum saying, as sweetly but firmly as I could, "no thank you" and trying to physically prevent your baby from touching my 3yo.

Nice to know you'd have thought I was condescending and unpleasant for trying to stop your baby being kicked in the face though!

Yeah, I see why you didn't think it was friendly / nice. But maybe she knew that her child wouldn't respond well.

If my toddler was in an irritable mood and a small child started touching them I might say the same as a precaution incase my child did something that could cause upset, like push them off. You wouldn't like that either I'd imagine - neither would I. Just one of those things.

Side note - I have stopped my toddler and older child playing with a baby who is snotty and dribbling.

This.

If you think that's rude, you live a sheltered life

and this

It’s a sad state of affairs when people are started to get offended by “no thank you”…dear lord!!

I would think the ‘no thank you’ here - was to notify you that your little one is touching shoes and you may want to carry her off.

This

I can’t remember ever letting my babies crawl all over strangers. If the stranger is receptive and wants to chat/play with the baby then great, but this child didn’t and that’s fine too.

You would be rightfully pissed off she said fuck off.

Really people need to stay at home in that case if a baby is so easy to take offence to.

The irony.

It's a baby.

I have a 3 year old and I would say "look, the baby likes your shoes. Shall we say hello to the baby?" or something along those lines.

I've been to hundreds of parent and baby/toddler groups and playgroups and never encountered such nonsense. Why would you do anything other than encourage kindness and friendliness.

If a toddler came up and tried to snatch a toy or some such on the other hand, yes I would teach my child to say "no" and walk away. But a crawling baby?

I'm glad I don't mix in the same circles as the majority of posters on here.

😂

I have encountered this a few times to varying degrees with other children and just find it so utterly rude and nasty and most of all completely unnecessary!

Really people need to stay at home in that case if a baby is so easy to take offence to.

Oh, the irony.
When you are the one who is being offended by another parent teaching their child they do not have to let anyone touch them or their things, especially a baby who might dribble on them, or be a little bit sick on them, or maybe damage them as they are still learning and don't have control or understanding yet.

How is 'no thank you' venomous contempt?

No thank you is venomous contempt??
Give your head a wobble.