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Original poster

Neighbour complaining about my poorly baby crying at night

217 replies

PhoebsmumX · 17/04/2024 13:00

Looking for a little bit of advice.
I have a 9 month old little girl who was born with Strep B. She was extremely poorly at birth and spent a week in ICU. We were so very lucky that she made a full recovery and thankfully has no lasting effect from the infection.
however, since starting nursery 3 months ago, she has been constantly poorly. She’s had every cold, cough and runny nose and hasn’t been sleeping great at night. This last week, my little one has been to the doctors twice and admitted to hospital with an extremely high fever which we now know is a viral infection.
seeing her so poorly is heartbreaking and we as parents are doing our very best.
which leads me to what other mums think to the below.
my neighbour knocked on my door this morning, for reference they have no kids so they don’t understand. However after being awake every hour in the night with my poorly baby who keeps getting temperatures of 39 +, already emotional and exhausted. He proceeds to complain about her crying and keeping him and his wife awake. He then told me to seek support and now I feel like the worlds worse mum because my poorly baby is crying in the night!
i admit that she has been crying a lot however I am doing everything in my power to help her, she’s started sleeping with me again so I can get to her as soon as I hear her murmur. I’m personally in shock, as I would never complain about a neighbours baby crying. But I’d like to know what other mums think and if I’m being unfair?!

OP posts:
Shiveringinthecountry · 17/04/2024 16:10

Is your bedroom next to theirs? If so, can you move to a different bedroom when she's unwell? Obviously we'll all sympathise with your difficult situation, but if you sleep in the next room to them they're not going to find it easy to be regularly woken up themselves. Moving rooms could solve the problem.

I'm sorry to hear your baby hasn't been well, and I hope she begins to get stronger soon.

SirChenjins · 17/04/2024 16:10

misszebra · 17/04/2024 16:07

why should they get ear plugs? not his fault the child is crying. they are entitled to the right to sleep - how would you feel if someone next door was being so loud it was waking your child at night?
taking him ear plugs is absolutely ridiculous and I would be offended if I was him. you are being beyond unreasonable.

Show quote history

They don’t have to, you’re absolutely right. Far better to be awake all night long stewing and working themselves into a froth about something that no-one can do anything about (unlike his loud music and motorbike). Great idea.

siameselife · 17/04/2024 16:15

Poor you OP.
He is clueless and frustrated.
Ignore him, if you had a magic wand you would wave it.
You don't so much though it sucks everyone just needs to ride it out.
It is horrible but will pass.
You aren't doing anything wrong.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

6-9 months old 9-12 months old Antenatal & postnatal Babies & sleep
HornyHornersPinger · 17/04/2024 16:16

Post some earplugs through his letterbox then ignore him from now on. A reasonable person would not complain about a baby crying, do they not think it disturbs you more?!

Doseofreality · 17/04/2024 16:16

Why are people calling the neighbour a “nob”, “cunt” and “twat”? The poor bloke is being kept awake by a baby that’s not his, he probably has to go to work on little sleep and anyone would have the right to be pissed of about that.
To put it bluntly, your crying baby is making his life harder.

Maybe they don’t have children, becaue they don’t want to be kept up in the night by a crying one.

You should have been a decent neighbour, and pre empted this by going round and apologising for the noise. Would have taken the same amount of time as what you have spent on this thread.

Soubriquet · 17/04/2024 16:16

ALL THOSE WHO ARE SAYING SHE IS UNREASONABLE, WHAT IS THE OP SUPPOSED TO DO?!!!

siameselife · 17/04/2024 16:19

Maybe they don’t have children, becaue they don’t want to be kept up in the night by a crying one.

Then they should have bought a detached house.
If you live near neighbors there will be noise and nothing can be done about crying babies.

OooohAhhhh · 17/04/2024 16:21

You sound lovely yet so fragile as this sounds like a tough time for you.
For reassurance, we've all been there with a crying baby, that's just what happens.
In regard to him complaining tho, yes he is a complete arsehole.
Me being me... next time he knocks at the door complaining, hear him out and just as he is about to leave I'd say "oh by the way whilst you're here, could you please keep the noise down when you're having sex, its very disruptive. 🤣
This will have him paranoid as hell!! He won't know if you're lying or telling the truth.

Sux2buthen · 17/04/2024 16:23

Comparing a human baby to a dog barking 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️classic Mumsnet
The difference is the dog can be removed by the council if it's a nuisance but a baby crying is what's supposed to happen.
I swear some posters on here like to be deliberately awkward

Lijay · 17/04/2024 16:23

Doseofreality · 17/04/2024 16:16

Why are people calling the neighbour a “nob”, “cunt” and “twat”? The poor bloke is being kept awake by a baby that’s not his, he probably has to go to work on little sleep and anyone would have the right to be pissed of about that.
To put it bluntly, your crying baby is making his life harder.

Maybe they don’t have children, becaue they don’t want to be kept up in the night by a crying one.

You should have been a decent neighbour, and pre empted this by going round and apologising for the noise. Would have taken the same amount of time as what you have spent on this thread.

Because he's gone round when OPs partner is out, and even after explaining her 9 month old is ill he has made her cry. He lives in a terraced house. He's a nob.

And no, if my baby is teething or ill I don't go round knocking on doors apologising in advance that would be mad 😂

vanillafudgecake · 17/04/2024 16:23

It's 💯 harder for you! Sleep deprivation is the absolute worst along with caring for a poorly baby

Please don't even entertain your unsympathetic neighbour! You are a great mum and no one has a right to tell you any differently.

You won't be in this stage forever, it will get easier Flowers

LiesDoNotBecomeUs · 17/04/2024 16:24

Much sympathy OP - you are being a good parent and it is tough.

Your neighbour deserves no sympathy - and in fact deserves the sleepless nights for making you feel worse.

You could tell him comfortingly that she'll only be living with you for 18 years or so.

He must have missed the bit in life-lessons when they explained that, unlike computers or the TV, babies come without an 'off' switch.

HornyHornersPinger · 17/04/2024 16:24

OooohAhhhh · 17/04/2024 16:21

You sound lovely yet so fragile as this sounds like a tough time for you.
For reassurance, we've all been there with a crying baby, that's just what happens.
In regard to him complaining tho, yes he is a complete arsehole.
Me being me... next time he knocks at the door complaining, hear him out and just as he is about to leave I'd say "oh by the way whilst you're here, could you please keep the noise down when you're having sex, its very disruptive. 🤣
This will have him paranoid as hell!! He won't know if you're lying or telling the truth.

Love it 🤣🤣🤣
Get your partner to say this when he pays him that visit OP

Doratheexplorer1 · 17/04/2024 16:25

PhoebsmumX · 17/04/2024 13:09

@Soubriquet I agreed and told him it must be hard for him but I think he was extremely rude in his tone considering I was stood there with tears feeling helpless. Our babies room is the back of the house and as far as I’m aware his bedroom is the front of the house so other than me sleeping in the living room there’s not an awful lot more I can do. I have the calpol in the syringe next to me for the minute she wakes and her bottle prepped to give her. She’s usually a happy little girl but it’s just unfortunate that she’s been so poorly lately and nothing seems to console her.

He’s a complete moron. If he wants to live in absolute silence he will need to buy himself a detached house in the middle
of a field. (Preferably where no has to listen to his nonsense).

We have extremely noisy neighbours. The bloke is a prize prick. But a baby crying - there’s nothing you can do and you don’t need the added stress of now worrying about what they are thinking next door.

So with respect - f*ck him. You’re doing the best you can. Don’t let him add to the stress you already have going on with baby being unwell. Deep breaths. Sending lots of love. ♥️

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 17/04/2024 16:25

You say that her bedroom is in the back, as far away from his as possible, but you also say she's in with you at the moment - is your room next to his? Could you move back to her room?

It's not your fault at all that she's waking crying (obviously) but I don't think he's completely out of order to talk to you about it.
Maybe it came out wrong because he's tired and grouchy, I'm sure he could have broached it in a far better way.
Equally, it could have bothered you more because you're tired, worried and feeling fragile.

I don't think anyone is in the wrong here, it's just a shit situation.

I hope she's feeling better soon.

SirChenjins · 17/04/2024 16:26

Maybe they don’t have children, becaue they don’t want to be kept up in the night by a crying one

Maybe they chose to replace children with their loud music and motorbikes instead that the OP has put up with for ages now and hasn’t complained because she understands that’s what happens when you live beside other people. Don’t see him apologising for his behaviour. .

biscuitcat · 17/04/2024 16:26

Oh this sounds awful, poor you and your poor baby. Something very similar happened to a friend of mine when her baby was a similar age and had a dreadful ear infection - their neighbour came round and told them off for sleep training! They were too stunned to say anything in particular, but it was the end of them doing helpful neighbourly things as the woman had been so unsympathetic.

I'd totally ignore him, there's nothing you can do apart from wait for your little one to be better, and it sounds like you're being really responsive and loving to her which is exactly what she needs. Yes it's rubbish for him to be kept awake - but it's not like you're poking the baby just to keep him up!

SirChenjins · 17/04/2024 16:27

Me being me... next time he knocks at the door complaining, hear him out and just as he is about to leave I'd say "oh by the way whilst you're here, could you please keep the noise down when you're having sex, its very disruptive. 🤣
This will have him paranoid as hell!! He won't know if you're lying or telling the truth

That’s brilliant!! 😂

Doratheexplorer1 · 17/04/2024 16:29

PhoebsmumX · 17/04/2024 15:38

no, I am not horrendous. I am a new mum of an extremely poorly little girl who is doing nothing but her best to make her better and comfort her, who also has had very little sleep and is nothing less than exhausted. My neighbour could see I was crying and devastated and also that my poorly child was in fact poorly yet still decided it was okay to make me feel even more helpless than I already do.. I know if my partner was home he wouldn’t have even thought to knock the door so that is exactly why my partner will be visiting him. And as for the ear plugs, that’s me being kind offering him something to block out the noise of my crying baby so he can catch up on some beauty sleep. So please don’t call me ‘horrendous’ like you know me.

The bloke is a bully. Any normal well adjusted person would have seen you visibly upset and asked if you were okay. There are a lot of arseholes in the world. I’m sorry you had to even deal with him. Don’t answer the door to the creep again.

Gettingbysomehow · 17/04/2024 16:31

Shut the door in his face next time. What an idiot.

HesterPrincess · 17/04/2024 16:33

She'll grow out of crying. He won't grow out of being an arsehole. You win.

Hang in there, it gets better Flowers

Gettingbysomehow · 17/04/2024 16:33

Next doors baby cried pretty much all the time for a year because she was high needs and had medical problems, I never once complained.
In fact I asked if there was anything I could do to help, poor parents looked shattered.
I just got a pair of earplugs.
What are you supposed to do? Gaffer tape the baby. For God's sake.

trippily · 17/04/2024 16:35

Tell him to fuck off ❤️

WeightoftheWorld · 17/04/2024 16:36

cuckyplunt · 17/04/2024 13:03

What does he expect you do? He is a stupid bully, he should be commiserating not playing the big I-am.
I would have looked at him, raised an eyebrow and closed the door.
Be very thankful that you are not him and get on with your life. Your Baby will get better, he is likely to always be an a.hole.

Classic MN, first post got it in one.

Ignore him OP. What a stupid man.

Yummymummy2020 · 17/04/2024 16:37

You poor thing op. I sympathise completely. Our little one had an awful winter for illness, every week something new. He is sounds like a nightmare. Babies are not babies forever and he should try show some kindness and not be such a horrible person about it! You are in the thick of it now, and having a really tough time the last thing you need is a neighbour complaining about something you can’t help and you are doing your best.