Neighbour complaining about my poorly baby crying at night

[PhoebsmumX]

Looking for a little bit of advice.
I have a 9 month old little girl who was born with Strep B. She was extremely poorly at birth and spent a week in ICU. We were so very lucky that she made a full recovery and thankfully has no lasting effect from the infection.
however, since starting nursery 3 months ago, she has been constantly poorly. She’s had every cold, cough and runny nose and hasn’t been sleeping great at night. This last week, my little one has been to the doctors twice and admitted to hospital with an extremely high fever which we now know is a viral infection.
seeing her so poorly is heartbreaking and we as parents are doing our very best.
which leads me to what other mums think to the below.
my neighbour knocked on my door this morning, for reference they have no kids so they don’t understand. However after being awake every hour in the night with my poorly baby who keeps getting temperatures of 39 +, already emotional and exhausted. He proceeds to complain about her crying and keeping him and his wife awake. He then told me to seek support and now I feel like the worlds worse mum because my poorly baby is crying in the night!
i admit that she has been crying a lot however I am doing everything in my power to help her, she’s started sleeping with me again so I can get to her as soon as I hear her murmur. I’m personally in shock, as I would never complain about a neighbours baby crying. But I’d like to know what other mums think and if I’m being unfair?!

no, I am not horrendous. I am a new mum of an extremely poorly little girl who is doing nothing but her best to make her better and comfort her, who also has had very little sleep and is nothing less than exhausted. My neighbour could see I was crying and devastated and also that my poorly child was in fact poorly yet still decided it was okay to make me feel even more helpless than I already do.. I know if my partner was home he wouldn’t have even thought to knock the door so that is exactly why my partner will be visiting him. And as for the ear plugs, that’s me being kind offering him something to block out the noise of my crying baby so he can catch up on some beauty sleep. So please don’t call me ‘horrendous’ like you know me.

Ok @BlackStrayCat

What is OP supposed to do? Gag her poorly baby?

Babies cry. It’s what they do especially when ill. OP is already doing everything she can

You sound like you are to planning to threaten your neighour with a visit from you "partner"

Not at all nice.

He is an arsehole to not understand that babies cry and to have the nerve to complain to someone when they are stood there crying in the first place.
And yes a visit from her partner is just what’s needed as the arsehole obviously thought he could intimidate the op.

My dd had temps like that before she ended up with a bacterial infection into her blood. Have they taken bloods to confirm it’s not bacterial?

His sleep is as necessary as yours and your baby's. Being dismissive of that with 'beauty sleep' is not really a good look.

He wasn't to know that she was ill.

I’d have told him to fuck right off and sent him some ear plugs via Amazon prime.

what a cunt

No more threatening than having a man come round and whine about something that is out of the op’s control whilst she is in tears and deliberately calling when the partner is not home.
Two can play that game.

Fast forward to GCSEs. DC not being able to sleep.
Fast forward to menopause.
Just fast forward.

Enjoy.

As pp said, I’d really seriously consider a childminder, especially if you have one so close by. My DS has been much less poorly since he swapped from nursery.

Ignore your neighbour.

I think your neighbour possibly came across a bit cold and whilst you are doing your best and you want a happy sleeping baby, it must be annoying.

if they had a barking dog through the night waking you and your baby I’m sure you’d also be a bit pissed off.

it’s shit all round. Keep doing your best and maybe contact health visitor or doctor to see if there’s any advice or support available?

I don’t think anyone’s wrong here. You both want the same thing - to be able to sleep.

hormones and extreme tiredness might make it harder for you to see their upset because your priority is your baby.

hopefully it won’t be a forever thing, you’ll find your groove 🥰 does the car help bubba sleep? Maybe a drive to settle them? Failing that alcohol on a dummy- joking of course!

apparently I used to like being sat in front of the washing machine (and the alcoholic dummy) how times have changed 😂

He's a nob.

He can move to a detached house of he doesn't want to hear any noise from neighbours 🤷

I'd have laughed and closed the door on him whilst he was still talking.

Also he's complained now so I wouldn't worry about any noise you make tonight. Including any extra noise that maybe wouldn't have happened if he had kept quiet. What's he's going to do... Complain?

Why would you ignore your neighbour?

I just do not understand. They need to sleep too.
Be nice.

Babies cry. Poorly babies often cry more. End of. What does the idiot neighbour expect you to do?

I despair of some people. He may have some inconvenience but he can get earplugs and stop adding to your stress. At least he doesn't have the caring responsibilities of you and your partner.

You're doing your very best. Ignore him and concentrate on your daughter.

i don’t have children and a crying baby wouldn’t upset me (unless I thought something was wrong) it’s life happening around you.

Well then @BlackStrayCat what the fuck is she supposed to do?

You tell her she can’t ignore her neighbour
she has to be nice etc etc

but you’re not actually said what she is supposed to do. You’re just sat there judging

Been through all of that, got the t-shirts - the bloke is still a dick.

OP, please try not to worry - babies cry, dogs bark, car alarms go off, neighbours play music you don’t like…it’s all part of living next to other people. Proving you’re not letting your baby cry for hours on end while you do nothing - which you’re not - then he’s just going to have to suck it up or buy ear plugs. Tell him not to bother you again.

Oh my lovely, I wish you some rest soon. You’re doing your absolute best and this will pass. Your neighbours sound awkward and heartless. I would tell them not to knock on my door again and to take their complaints elsewhere (they wouldn’t get far with it away).

Hope little one has a speedy recovery and take care of yourself, OP ❤️

@EG94 See this is why I’m more annoyed. They play their music extremely loud in the evening, albeit it isn’t late but i never complain. he has a motorbike that he very loudly takes out early hours and late at night, again I’ve never complained so I think he’s being very unfair to us.
My dad did recommend the brandy on the dummy trick haha!!!
she does settle in the car but the minute we take her out she’s wide awake again.
I understand he’s tired. We all are, but I could never shame a young mum who I could see was really struggling. I have spoke to the HV today who has really reassured me and I’ve been and picked up some multivitamins which I’m hoping might just boost my little ones immune system a little bit more!

Ahhh, he’s one of those - no surprise there. Tell him to get lost.

@MummaMummaJumma I wish there was more people in the world like you. Thankyou so much, it’s tough being a new mum but it’s so comforting knowing I’m not on my own❤️

if you can’t beat em join em, complain about their noise.

hey I won’t tell if you don’t, what’s your address I’ll send the brandy. 😂

Good luck chick maybe don’t see them as judgy but see them as hypocritical old gits

How is it threatening for a man to visit them to drop off some earplugs, but not threatening for the man to visit OP in the first place?

why should they get ear plugs? not his fault the child is crying. they are entitled to the right to sleep - how would you feel if someone next door was being so loud it was waking your child at night?
taking him ear plugs is absolutely ridiculous and I would be offended if I was him. you are being beyond unreasonable.

Because she is already doing everything she can. Literally no one wants a poorly baby to stop crying and sleep more than the parents who are up in the night with them.

So whether she ignores the neighbour or not, her actions won't change. She's doing everything already.