Parents - Do you think people without children have missed out?

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So this is for parents only! I want to know if you feel that people without children are missing out on a big experience/feelings/joy & ‘don’t know what they are missing’ and be honest! No one is judging just want honest answers as we have been talking about this tonight, obviously everyone’s answers are just their own opinion before anyone gets offended!!

We may be born to reproduce but not everyone is capable of looking after their off spring.

Depends on the kid. My lovely lad is so unhappy I wish for his sake I’d never had him. I’d have been fine.

Yes I think they miss out on a whole different side to life. I think being a parent of young children also means you also miss out on things but relatively that time is short. There is time in life (hopefully!) to enjoy being young and carefree, being a parent of dependant children and then again living life for yourself when they’re older. Circumstances, support and money however make a huge difference to all chapters but particularly when you have children.

I couldn't possibly know.

I personally would feel that I would miss out but I can only speak for me and my DH.

What other people feel and believe - not got a clue.

I think if I'd never had them, I'd forever be wanting to know what that bond felt like, because it is a different bond to any other.

Are they amazing? Yes. Do they restrict you in a million ways? Yes. Would I have a nicer material lifestyle without them? Undoubtedly. Would I have a happier life? No. Cleaner house and things? Absolutely.

I love "family". The big Christmases, the many mouths around a table. The company. The little person that loves you in only a way a child can. But that's my personal preference. I want to grow old with the support of my children, and look forward to my grandchildren.

It's not all been roses, but I think I'd always have felt unfulfilled if I hadn't had them. I know now that I'd have been able to fulfil my life quite capably without them, but I don't think I'd have been this happy... But then I'd never have experienced this happiness and wouldn't be any the wiser.

It's a strange one because I do feel like having a child changes your perspective on life. I don't think you can mature in the same way you do when you have children. Being a parent is horrendous and amazing all at once. I would say I do feel like people are missing out if they've never experienced being a parent.

Having said that, I do sometimes mourn my old life. I can't even imagine being able to just wake up, slowly get ready, drink your coffee and eat breakfast in peace. Wee on the toilet alone. Not having your soul drained out of you from the minute you wake up until the minute you go to sleep. I envy the freedom that someone without children has.

There's positives and negatives on both sides.

I agree with this. I’m just making the point that for many women being a mother satisfies a fundamental biological need and as such is meaningful in a very basic, physical way.

I think that if a couple desperately want children and can't have them for whatever reason may feel they're missing out.

But those who have made them choice to be childless, absolutely not!

My eldest and his wife don't want kids and they have an amazing life. They're definitely not missing out. They have a great relationship with their nieces and nephews so have the best of both worlds really.

Yes particularly women

Only if they wanted them.

If they are childfree by choice, not at all.

Why women?

So playing devils advocate.. you could say.. how do they know they aren’t missing out? Like people say.. I didn’t know love and real joy before kids etc etc.. again this is just everyone’s opinions I’m asking for before anyone gets offended!!

I wouldn’t trade my grown up kids for anything, but I’ve been known to wonder how my life would have been if I’d made a career for myself, and DH and I still had the large small fortune we’ve spent on kids to spend on things for us.

No way is better. I’m just really happy that people put more thought now into whether or not they want to become parents and can do what’s right for them.

My DD is recently married and not yet decided if they want to be parents. I’ll be supportive either way.

No

No not at all, I am sorry for people who wished they'd had a child and couldn't, for whatever reason, but I don't feel that being a parent is the most significant part of my life ... I didn't have a DC until my early 40s (by choice) and I had a rich and fulfilling life before ... as I do now that my DC has left home and is making their own way in the world.

Comments like 'I didn't know what my life meant until I became a mummy' just want to make me cringe.
I like to look at my own DP's example, happy, fulfilled people, living a great, busy life, contributing to society, with tons of friends, interests and hobbies .. they are/were (one deceased now) great parents .. but being a parent doesn't define them.

Are you children very young? That's only a short phase in the life of a child

I have quite a number of friends who dont have children, Ive never thought about whether they are missing out, I guess different people want different things, it would be a bit patronising for me to think my choices were better.

No. This is the kind of thread that gives parents a bad name.

Yes, you could say that, but couldn’t you about anything? Like I don’t know what I’m missing out on by not backpacking around India for a year, because I’ve not done it, but I know I don’t want to, have never wanted to and don’t feel my life is, in any way, lacking by not doing so.

In some instances however I don't believe everyone should be a parent because it is the natural next step in life or a relationship.

Parenting is a hard gig is you are not up for it.

No

I am currently in the toddler preschool phase which is exhausting.

However it depends on the circumstances of the people. I know 1 woman in my work who just doesn't want kids, wants to travel and spend their money on themselves which is absolutely fair.
I know a couple of women who haven't had kids due to circumstance/ infertility, in these situations I do feel sorry for them

This would be a difficult read and upsetting for someone who has wanted, but been unable to have children. Perhaps a warning on the title?

I agree with this. Massive gamble. Could be joy, could be heartbreak. You just don’t know.

I couldn't have said this better. This is exactly how I feel.

This. I see people with more than one and think "how are they doing this again?"

I didn’t really think I’d have kids and always loved my animals so much and thought a child would be just the same. It’s a weird one because it is the same in a way but I actually think it changes your relationship with your pets because you then don’t have the same time to spend with them and by the time the kids are in bed you just want to be left alone then feel guilty for not patting the dog. I personally feel I would have missed out if I didn’t experience having my kids but I never thought that was possible prior to having them! We are also missing out on the kid-free life and the freedoms that come with it too. The same way if you have sticky toffee pudding you miss out on chocolate fudge cake and so on, both great but very different 😂