AIBU to give older child breast milk?

[SamanthaJol2]

I completely failed to BF my DD and seem to have lots of excess milk with my DS, would it be ok to give my daughter expressed BM to alleviate some of the guilt I feel for failing her?

She is 3 now BTE

I don’t think she’d get the benefit from it now, and shes 3 so I don’t see the point in starting now. Don’t feel guilty, loads of babies are bottle fed.

I’m not sure that it would do any harm but honestly don’t think she would receive any benefit at 3.

If she likes it, why not? It will be tailored to the needs of your DS but it will still be of some benefit.

Of course you can, lots of children are still bf at 3. Breastmilk doesn’t suddenly stop being nutritious after a certain time.

You must prepare yourself for her not liking it which may be in direct opposition to what you hope to achieve.

I don’t think it would hurt her at all, but equally don’t feel you failed in any way just because feeding didn’t work out how you had hoped.
If my dc3 is under the weather I express into a cup and give it to them. I also did this a couple of times recently after my booster as I figured it might help pass on some immunity. No idea if that’s true but hey ho.
Good luck with your babies and remember no one cares how anyone was fed once they are past the baby stage and no one will ever be able to tell a child/adult who was bottle or breastfed

I don’t see why not. Loads of 3 year olds are breastfed, it’s still a great source of loads of nutrients and it certainly won’t do her any harm. Agree though that you don’t need to feel guilty about not having breastfed her as a baby.

Breast milk adjusts its make up according to the dc who is making it be made iyswim, so it'll be right for your ds age but not for your dds age. I'm not a expert, and very pro breastfeeding but how would you do it? In a cup? I understand the guilt and the wanting to give it to her but not sure I'd do it personally. Sorry. No judgement though, whatever you choose.

Don't feel like you've failed her, but if you wanted to offer expressed milk then why not? Plenty of children still breastfeed at 3.

In a lot of ways it's more reasonable than giving cow's milk. She'll probably adore it because it's so sweet.

@LadyMonicaBaddingham

In a lot of ways it's more reasonable than giving cow's milk. She'll probably adore it because it's so sweet.

Agreed, it's weird when you think about it that one mammal is acceptable but another (the correct type) not.

I did to use up overproduction, honestly don't tell anyone, people were horrified despite my child being under 5. But don't feel guilty.

You could use it on cereal or in a milky hot chocolate if she has that.

If she likes it, why not? I'd imagine there would be some passive imunity benefits to her having it If you and she are hanging out together alot. It's absolutely delicious in porridge. I'd go easy though, it could have a substantial loosening effect on her bowels .
My milk was different with my second, and didn't store at all ( forgot the term, but basically it was utterly rank). My first child couldn't stand it from a cup, buy the baby couldn't care less.

Not unreasonable at all. If it gives both you and her satisfaction then go for it. There is no harm in it at all.

I think at this age the benefit of breastfeeding is comfort. As this is just cups of milk then if it makes you feel good go for it, but it’s doubtful it’s got any benefit for her,

Has anybody else not breastfed all of their children for whatever reason?

Yes! Any will benefit her. Sorry bf didn't work out for your first baby.

Of course it's fine to give it to her!
She will probably enjoy it.

@SamanthaJol2

Has anybody else not breastfed all of their children for whatever reason?

I didn’t bf DS1 at all. Not even first milk. I did bf DD2 for a few months. I don’t feel guilty as I did what was right for us both at the time for both children. Past weaning no one knows, asks or cares how they were fed. In my two my dd has always been the poorly one out of the two but then she was a 4lb premmie so probably nothing to do with how they were fed.

By yes I mean go ahead. AIBU- nope!

I combi fed my first and EBF my second. I felt no guilt for not fully breastfeeding my son, but I did feel better EBF my daughter.

That said, I read that if your kids have colds then you can give the non breastfeeding child some of your milk to help them fight it. I tried it once and my son refused the cup of it and said it was yuk :(

How will you feel if your eldest refused the milk? If it would make you feel worse don't do it.

I fed both mine but I've been tempted to feed my eldest a cup as it could be a way of introducing lactose to her as she's dairy free.

@SamanthaJol2

Has anybody else not breastfed all of their children for whatever reason?

No, there is no one else in the world who has not breastfed all their children. Are you OK, OP? This is quite a bizarre question.

I couldn’t feed my DS1.
DS2 I pumped while pregnant & got over 100ml of colostrum. Then successfully breastfed.
I used to give him a syringe a day like a vitamin - he was nearly 2. Made me feel better (& he liked it!)

I clicked on the thread expecting to read you've had covid so you want to give some of your antibodies to her.