Any Muslim/ Jewish mamas against circumcision?

[Sleeplessem]

I’m expecting a boy, about 18 weeks so still a while to go yet but I know circumcision is a norm (at least on DH side of the family). It is typically done in the first few weeks of life.

For quite a few reasons, including anatomical ones (I went to a presentation on genital cutting and learned that until 18 months or so the foreskin is fused to the tip of the penis) I’m not for infantile circumcision. Luckily DH is of the same view, although he would still want it done In basically primary school age as he’s worried a) son would get bullied by other Muslim kids (I’ve heard of this tbf so it’s not entirely ridiculous, b) we’d be failing to do a religious requirement and c) that it might not get done. Me I’m more about consent, if DS asked about it at 12, id explain the procedure, why it’s considered a good thing in our faith and if he wanted to go ahead it’s his choice, same for if he said later.

I know religiously there is a difference of opinion,
I’m of the school of thought that it’s sunnah rather than wajib or fardh.

DHs family will be enraged by my stance. It won’t sway me either way, but I’m thinking of ways now to just diffuse the conversation or shut it down. I can lose my rag a bit about stuff like this. Any mamas who have similar opinions been through this? What did you say? How did you make the stfu? Lol xx

Also should say DH won’t push for his views on it. He’s on board with how I think but his ‘preference’ is as above xx

Good luck with this thread....

What you mean? I’m scared now.

Out of interest, what are the reasons "it's considered a good thing in (y)our faith"?

What I mean OP is that you are talking about what most rational people - including myself - regard as genital mutilation. And any parent actively considering forcing that on a baby/child is committing a crime.

I don't care what the Torah or Koran say (or the Bible) , I really don't. It does not alter the fact that it is mutilation and should be reclassified as a criminal act.

You did ask.

There are a few hadith ( oral history, sayings of the prophet) that reference is. Largely it’s a cleanliness thing and a fulfilment of the covenant God made with Abraham in the Old Testament.

Good luck OP. I think circumcision is barbaric and suspect most posters will, but you are brave standing up to your DH and his family too.

I think you're doing the right thing but you probably face an uphill battle.

Go you!

Largely it’s a cleanliness thing

Which may have been relevant back in the day, but with 21st century plumbing this reason is completely irrelevant.

I grew up in a household that was half muslim, the majority of muslims won’t care if someone is circumcised or not.

Why does your husband think he’ll be showing his penis off to other children? Not a single person (apart from my own parents/siblings) at mosque ever saw my genitals, why would they?

I really hope you find the strength to resist this for your son
Unnecessarily having bits cut off your child should be illegal.

Best of luck

@KaptainKaveman also I’d say to be honest it’s largely a tradition too, a ‘thing’ that people get done, honestly similarly to how it is in the states.

As I said in my original post I’m against infant circumcision. I’m about consent at a later age.

It’s never going to be a criminal act as it’s used sometimes medically. But I do agree it shouldn’t be done for Infants

Both my DBs were circumcised at a week of age. One of them has had problems due to this throughout his life and bitterly resents that this unnecessary and barbaric procedure was inflicted on him. If I’d had a boy it would be over my dead body that he would have been circumcised. It’s abuse and I also don’t care what the Torah might have to say about it or how a boy cannot be a proper Jew without a bit of his body being removed. I would have refused to discuss it with family members. You will be your DSs parents, you are the ones who are responsible for his well-being and care and thankfully both you and your DP agree you don’t want this doing so you won’t be fighting one another over it. Stand firm and say you aren’t prepared to discuss it with anyone and repeat this as often as necessary. As for potential future bullying well kids can be bullied for all sorts of wild and wonderful reasons most of which are difficult to predict. I don’t think the chance of this happening is a good reason to go ahead with something you feel strongly about. It’s appalling we do this to boys. We need to challenge it.

I’m not a practising Muslim now, but my family are. It was a big deal when I said I wouldn’t have my sons circumcised but I stuck to my guns and it’s a non issue now.

Well done for wanting to stand firm. I think you just need to say "this isn't up for discussion" and repeat ad nauseum.

You might want to make sure that you never leave your baby with them in case they go behind your back and get it done.

Why don't you wait. If he wants it done when he is an adult. At 12 years old he will still prob just go with what you want rather than him.

What he does with his penis is up to him not you or your religion or even your traditions

Wow. I missed the last paragraph!

It’s never going to be a criminal act as it’s used sometimes medically. But I do agree it shouldn’t be done for Infants

I don't get this argument. If I cut off my toddlers arm or any other fully functioning part of his body for no reason I'd expect to have him removed from my care and most likely end up in jail. How is it not the same for circumcision??

I honestly don’t get how a parent (especially a mother who’s instincts will be screaming to protect her baby) can stand there and hear her baby cry in agony as he has a piece cut off him.

Fair play to you OP for wanting to stay firm against it

To diffuse situation you just say 'my baby not yours'
Definitely don't leave baby with them

Surley there doesn't need to be any argument or discussion you just tell them he's your child and he's perfect with all his parts attached.

Also don't leave him unattended with them if you think there is any chance they might go behind your back and find someone to do whilst he's in their care.

With all due respect to any religion, it is entirely ridiculous to mutilate a child. If he grows up (I mean legally adult) and decides that he has an urge to cut off a bit of his penis then he will be free to do so and you won't live with the knowledge that you cause unnecessary physical damage to a child

I just think I wouldn't discuss it and would shut it down by saying you refuse to discuss your son's medical history/procedures (which circumcision can be as you say) or genitals with the wider family.

Both of these matters should be private and you are right that you can give your son the choice to consent when he is older (although thinking of the Tavistock ruling, I wonder if 12 is old enough?). Safeguarding should include circumcision if we are serious about protecting children.

Again, well done for sticking to your guns and I hope you find some support closer to home.

The age of consent for a medical procedure which this is, even if done for non medical reasons, is 16.

If you want your son to decide, wait until at least then.

I don't think 'it not being done' is a good enough reason. Given it may be your son not consenting (when he is able to make this decision) that means it is never done.

Check out the actor Tom Rosenthals views on this...enlightening.

What you are talking about it genital mutilation btw

Call it circumcision if it makes you feel better

'Presentation on genital cutting'

Fuck's sake.