I beat my kids

[Pomi]

I beat and swear at my kids but always regret soon after. They are only 2.4 and 1.7 year old. My response towards them is very different, its mostly the elder one who is been beaten as he never misses a single chance of hitting or pushing his brother. Time out does not work for him as when i put him in his cot he starts happily playing in it.
I need to change my behaviour.

OMG just read back my post it soungds as if i may condone smacking I DONT (bloody nora) Ive only just plucle dup courage to post again on here. I dont condone smacking perionally BUT i just wanted to note difference between smacking n beating (which i sincerely hope there is in this case)

Anyway talking on here is first step - have you considered talking to someone else in RL???

Pommi well done for making the first step. I hope some of the posts havent put you off. May I ask what your husband does to help or does he know how difficult you are finding things? You must be going crazy looking after 2 small children practically by yourself 24/7 you really do need time for yourself.

I've been thinking a bit about this overnight and if you are still reading thought of a couple of other little things.

I think it works well when you have two close together to put them down for naps at the same time..this gives you a clear break and you can use the time to do something relaxing..or if necessary do a whirl of housework and then you will feel it is possible to spend some time with the kids when they get up.

You probably shout because you are at the end of your tether and you are trying to avoid smacking. You could try talking very quietly instead..this can provide such a strong contrast with your normal behaviour that it makes them concentrate more on you.

Thank you very much for all the advice you have given.

I started this theread because I knew what i was doing is wrong and with the help of support i would change it. Which i am doing.

I will remember this theread in future whenever i will feel the need to smack my kids.

Stitch is right English is not my first language and i am sorry for using wrong word.

Well done for recognising that what you were doing was wrong, pomi. It was very brave of you to come on here & seek support.
You are bound to feel run down having two young children so close in age, especially as you are coping on your own so much.
Next time you feel yourself getting wound up, try & take yourself into another room & count to 10. Also, where you can, try & ignore the bad behaviour & praise the good (easier said than done at times, I know!)
I really do think it would be a good idea to contact your HV & get some additional support. She may be able to get you some help from surestart, which would be great for you, as it would give you a much needed break from time to time.

Good for you Pomi. I admire the way you've handled this. There was a thread on MN last week about anger management courses and a tip was to count backwards from 23 when you are getting wound up. I don't know all the details but apparently it does something to the brain to calm you. I'm trying it too!!!

frumpy - what a weird no. to start with 23 - was there any reason in particular for that number or was it random

frumpy - what a weird no. to start with 23 - was there any reason in particular for that number or was it random

I don't know, it was a MN poster who was posting about an ex-paratrooper who had done an anger management course for some teenage kids (at her school I think). She didn't give all the science but I believe him . Worth a bash I thought!