Does anyone know how I can get a night nurse. Please help.

[melsy]

I am at the end of my tether.I have no one to help , as DH at work and mum has house full with ill father and younger sister & MIL just comes to VISIT and have TEA for F* sake and conveniently not available to help.

I cannot cope with no sleep anymore and baby just doesnt sleep long enough to have a sleep/rest during the day. I just sit sobbing every day and at night have to look after 6wk old DD who wont sleep past 3:00am! Not fair to get DH up to take over as he drives far to work every day and having difficult time with work.

This has been going on for 3 weeks now.Suffering real bad as still havent recovered from awful birth. Please any suggestions , I live in North London, Enfield way.

I am actually laughing!! DD gave us big smiles this morning,adorable, lets hope she is on the mend, still has hacking cough though.She is so brave for such a littlen. Its amazing what some good long sleeps can do!! She has even got herself off to sleep again for her morning nap!! Typical DH take day off and she is like angel baby!!! Now I look like a nutter!!!

Dh has just walked in & seen this thread on pampering bit and said u girls are costing him money and giving me bad ideas!!!!!!!

2oz doesn't sound very much Melsy if she had gone from 11pm till 4.30am (which is brilliant BTW, my DS didn't go longer than 4 hours till he was 12 weeks) would she not take any more? I used to change DS nappy if he fell asleep to rouse him enough to take a bit more, otherwise I would have been up and down even more.

I always feel worse in the morning when I have a bad throat and cold so could well be that too. She is probably sleeping with her mouth open to breathe and then your throat gets really sore and dry.

Now - go and book your treat!

Also Hurrah for your DH - he is a star.

She normally only takes 2-3oz at night, u think thats the reason she wont sleep longer in the morning?? She is only little 8lb4oz 6 1/2 wks.
I get worried to wake her too much at night, I do all the stuff u mention during the day to get her going! So we "dream feed" as Tracey Hogg suggests.Her normal day intake per feed is max 4oz and thats a struggle.

Yes you r right about the throat thing , it is always worse in the morning. Poor little thing.

Melsy, could I just point out that your DH has taken the day off so that you can get some rest.

GET OFF THE COMPUTER AND GO TO BED YOU NAUGHTY GIRL!!!

Going now mum !!! Speak later.

melsy, you sound on the up. See what sharing your woes can do for you, you have so much support from everyone on here, we are all rooting for you.

I would have suggested 'dream feeding' rather than waking, I think it can work really well.

How much is DD taking in milk per 24 hours, should be around 20-24 ozs, divided into feeds. She is still very little so may just want to take small amounts and often, as her stomach is not very big, about the size of a plum, so it can't hold too much.

Six weeks is also a growth period so she will start wanting more, I can remember my DS being so damanding at this age and at night in particular.

You sound a lot better, let's hope it continues.

I don't think I can add much more to the wonderful advice and support you have just received.

If you don't want/can't have Alibubbles and don't want to spend a fortune you can find a doula via Doula UK it will save you the agency fee and you can find a list of doulas near you aqnd guidelines on how to find one taht suits you (no need to spend a fortune on a doula/nanny agency). They can work as little as 2hours per day 2 or 3 time a week to 4 or 5 hours a day every day.... we're all very flexible (generally - varies according to availability of course). Most postnatal doulas charge £10 to £15/hour but are mums (so they've been there and will understand, can "guess" what would help you most) and very efficient!

Thank u all, yes feeling better. Dh made me go to bed lots today, but still feel knackered so going back to bed soon. We even took DD for a walk today, which was nice but tiring. And I have another appt with GP on friday (see thread "afraid I have PND", to make sure I am OK.

DD still fretful , but could be mix of 6 wk thing and throat thing.
Going to cinema tommorow night with little sis to see Matrix(SADDDO FAN!), so REALLY looking forward to that.
We r still deciding about having some help, I am not sure whats stopping me though.
BTW Alibubbles, she only takes 15-18oz in 24 hr period. Have been trying to up it, but cold/infection may have affected normal intake.
From what my mum said, all the family have been on the lower percentile inc me & husband, so she is following the same way.

Good night all, could sit here for hrs, get such good advice. But sleep is calling me again

News please Melsy?

Ok daily update!!!
DD only woke at 3:00am for feed, although only took 1 1/2 oz!! & then fell asleep, she then didnt wake till 6:30 oh joy, I had some more sleep!!! She also got herself off to sleep at 8:00 so lets hope she stays asleep for alittle while. She has had such little sleep the last few days. Only 10hrs a day

I feel sooooo much better today. Going to my mums for the day, little sis is going to do my hair and then I am having my nails done!!!! Im driving myself there to!!!
Have to go now as packing the car is like going on holiday and have to get there b4 next feed in an hr.

Thank u CD for checking in , v much aprreciated, will speak later.

So Melsy, now you have lovely hair and nails and have had more sleep, it's not so bad is it?

I found when I was less stressed then DS was less stressed. Babies are telepathic - they pick up on the vibes!

Sorry she lulled me into false sense of security the other night by being angel baby for a few hrs, up half the night again aaaaaarrrrrrrggggggghhhhh.Fed her at 3:40am as she was screaming for it,only took 1oz then she feel asleep after 15mins!!!!!Tried everything to wake her but NADA.At 4:30 she awoke again screaming , tried to calm her , but in the end gave her another bottle to attempt on filling her up a bit. Took further 2oz then fell asleep again!!5:00 put her back in crib & 5:30 she again woke up screaming??????????? DH brought her in and she fell asleep on me in bed till about 7:00!!Hubby put her back in crib, by 7:40 she was awake again crying! Well it was something like that, cant seem to remember all the times now!! Anyway feeding schedule all shot to bits and dont know what to do now?? Just trying to work out if she is crying now out of hunger or being overtired. Is it an aversion to crib / sleeping or is she plain hungry all the time?? I have this vicious cycle now and cant break the pattern.Not sleeping,so not feeding so not sleeping!!!!!!

My hair looks nice though!!!!

Maybe accept today is going to be all over the place and tomorrow may start sorting out again? Only on the basis that you're likely to go less bananas that way, you poor love?

I second MI's advice. I used to get into a vicious circle myself, stressing out about schedules and 45 minute cycles blah blah blah. At the end of the day, and I can't quite believe I (mrs self confessed control freak) am saying this, you just need to go with it for a few days or so and she will start to sort herself out. It used to drive me mad when I used to get told that when my ds was the same age - but looking back everyone was right.

At this stage when she wakes in the night I would assume she needs feeding and just give her a bottle so she goes back to sleep - is she in your room?

Do you have a "night and day" feeding thing by your bed - I never got one but wish I had as the whole getting up to go and warm bottles etc just sort of added to waking me up more so I found it hard to go back to sleep whilst ds was snoring away.

HTH

Melsy, I've got to this thread late but I felt exactly like you and was rescued by the arrival of a maternity nurse. It cost me about a grand but we still say it was the best money we ever ever spent. The first night she arrived, we followed her routine and DH went to sleep at 7pm for 4 hours and we had an evening together - it was like magic. Over the next 2 weeks she helped sort out a routine, made sure I got enough sleep, helped me through feeding and was generally fantastic. If you can afford it I can't recommend it too highly - it changed all our lives - it was that important(my mum is dead and my parents in law live abroad so no wise women to help)Sure there were tough times after but I had this routine to cling too and was far more balanced in my approach to motherhood. Good luck with it all.

news today?

My mum has stayed for the last 2 days as DH went away on business. Has been good as she seems to know exaclty how to deal with DD in wee hrs!!! But unfortunately she cant dom that all the time!!& she left this morning as had appointments & another household of young neices & nephews to help out with. DH isnt due back yet so had another breakdown/freakout/panick attack: hyper ventilating and sobbing so much I couldnt calm down.Didnt help that my DH hadnt left when he said he was going to this morning thus making him v late home today & leaving me for hrs.
Had long chat with GP last night at surgery who sat with me for 1/2 hr discussing taking AD's(cipralex),history of depression etc, but we decided to monitor for another 2 weeks and see from there. I repeated the Edinburgh test aswill and it came out at 12 , so still high but not like end Oct when it was a score 20.See thread on "afraid I have PND" He asked me to do it again in 2 weeks b4 appt' , to see if any change.
I am trying very hard to find ways of making me feel better so,MIL is baby sittng tonight so we can get out of house for a couple of hrs and take a break. I am also go to go to local shops and by a top or CD or something when DH comes home soon. I know this is not going to take away problems, but it helps to make u feel sort of NORMAL!!

very wise Melsy _ i think you are coping really well. Remember to get out as mucha s you can when your dh is away and have a shower put your face on etc.. it all helps!

Forgive me if I am repeating what others have suggested, I tend to read too quickly!! Dd was difficult when she was tiny, and I had no family close by to help. However, I really noticed a difference when she reached 12-15 weeks, and whilst that sounds like forever, it really isn't. I can remember thinking that I was the worst mother in the world, and being so scared to see my GP, as I really thought they'd take her away from me, as I felt I wasn't coping. Well done for telling others that you need help. I also really benefitted from meeting other new mums, as everyone has their own feelings of not doing it right. It helped me so much to go to NCT coffee mornings, and to local post natal groups. I was always so concerned that dd would cry and "what would people think" but it was such a godsend. Big hug for you!!

having really bad afternoon, after what was a good day. left DH at home with baby, & i 4 once did weekly shop in town, first timein 3months!!!It gave me an excuse to have a mooch in shops & buy something nice. Anyway came hm hadnt eaten lunch & it was nearly 3. Still havent eaten as cant stop crying.Asked DH to help with bringing in shopping as many bags & heavy and didnt feel to well, he said he couldnt as holding baby. Started shouting at me as he says "I always do it so why cant u". then told him I had just found out I have lost bank card, so he goes mad at me for not cancelling it , daaa only just realised, when was I supposed to do this, b4 I found out by some power of future telepathy??? Any way suffice to say argument escalated to "well you seem well enough to go shopping" kinda of cr*p & Why cant I give him gratitude for having looked after baby today!!!!!!!!!!,he has just left me sobbing for over and hr in another room, just ignored me , when he knows what I am going through.Today really cheered me up & now I just feel heartbroken. If it wasnt for my georgous DD I would have got inthe car and driven somewere and not gone back for a while. He used the excuse that he cant leave the baby to come and RESCUE me.!!!! Am I wrong here ?? is he??? Didnt I have the terrible birth, suspected PND, sleepless nights?? Dont I deserve some love and care???????

do we live a simltaneous life?
i have similar conversations with dh on a regular basis
!
rise above it....

Melsy - that is really hard - I've been there too. Unfortunately it is VERY common for couples to have such arguments and also for fathers to have a very rough time after the birth of their child too and no one usually pays any attention to it. I'me sure one of our fathers mumsnetters will confirm!

Can you have the energy to go in with a piece offering... it really doesn't matter who is right and who is more tired.... it is more important (IMO) to make piece and build on the past events.... making piece will get you much further than continuous fighting! You'll get ;ittle collaboration + battles on your hands.... not a winning solution!

All my sympathies though