Does anyone know how I can get a night nurse. Please help.

[melsy]

I am at the end of my tether.I have no one to help , as DH at work and mum has house full with ill father and younger sister & MIL just comes to VISIT and have TEA for F* sake and conveniently not available to help.

I cannot cope with no sleep anymore and baby just doesnt sleep long enough to have a sleep/rest during the day. I just sit sobbing every day and at night have to look after 6wk old DD who wont sleep past 3:00am! Not fair to get DH up to take over as he drives far to work every day and having difficult time with work.

This has been going on for 3 weeks now.Suffering real bad as still havent recovered from awful birth. Please any suggestions , I live in North London, Enfield way.

Melsy hop eyou cna have a laugh at some point today - keep this thread saved - you will laugh at it in a matter of moths.

I hope that she is! It really does work! We have a retail park right next to the drive thru and if I thought i had been there too long I would drive to the other end of the car park and start again!
And I am supposed to be a sensible person!
hmm

(aloha you glamour puss :0 )

My post sounds like the Bloke on 'allo allo,

a baby under desk

Melsy it hasn't come through yet and I have to go out, will check when I get back in an hour and send you the details then (())

Oh alibubbles, I was just taliking with my mum last week about looking into a doula to help next time. Hadnt even thought about now, was trying to do it myself. It is difficult to let people who u dont know look after your precious bundles. No offense I hope.

All these wonderful mums I am talking to!!!. Bless u for all your support today.

And if Alibubbles is offering to help, grab it with both hands!! From everything I've read from her on this site over the years, she makes Mary Poppins seem like Myra Hindley. I'd love her to look after my ds.

How do u save posts?? I would like to retrieve all my other ones also??

the way i am feeling i want her to look after me...

nelsy - you just said 'to help NEXT TIME'. The very fact that you are considering a NEXT TIME means that there is still something positive in all of this.

And Alibubbles has a website and everything. She's Kosher! Or call a doula agency. We all need help - a mum substitute, if you like. Doulas seem like wonderful ideas to me. No other culture expects women to manage all by themselves. It's not normal IMO.

Coddy... not any more. Sigh!

Aloha - I miss glamourous lunches !! It would be funny if i know u, I dealt with Glamour Home mags, or was yours fashion?? Cant see me getting back into my Joseph jeans any time soon!!! Its great to talk about something to do with post baby life , is that bad???

The people you see around you that you think are coping so much better than you probably have lots and lots of help or their babies may not be ill with a throat infection or they may have worked out a strategy to get some extra hours.

Have you tried some saline drops to loosen her nose so she can at least feed a little better or if you dont want to use those what about those "snot suckers" sorry dont know the right word for the thing you squeeze it out with.

If she is very bunged up try taking her in the bathroom while you run the bath and shower on hot or put the steam steriliser in the bedroom to get some steam in.

I definitely recommend the swaddling to help calm them down a bit.

Alibubbles would u post your website ?Or should I send u my e-mail??

No thats not bad at all! You are still you!! Just you with a [very demanding] baby - sometimes getting back a little bit of pre baby life is a great way of feeling less desperate. Put a bit of bronzer on if you get the chance or like others said meet up with a friend or even buy a magazine that you would have got before baby, have a couple of glasses of wine...

Meant to say pre baby- brain fogged for a min.Sooo knackered!!

post baby is just as apt - that life will return slowly but surely

god- been on here for 2hrs !!!! Could of slept , but needed to eat lunch whilst on here. She will need feed in 1/2 hr so no chance of nap because I will need to wake her soon.

Melsy, I worked at Natmags, then John Brown publishing- glossy fashion/features magazines is my background. I'm now a freelance writer. But I never fitted back into my jeans But most people do, I hasten to add! I still have my Jimmy Choos but don't ever seem to wear them anymore. It's not bad at all to talk about non-baby things. I actively sought out some of my childless colleagues because I knew they would distract me with gossip and nonsense, which I loved. Your baby right now is a pain in the a* because she won't sleep, but wonderful in that she is totally portable, doesn't care where she is and will sleep better when out than in - so get out there girl. I wandered around Harvey Nichols with a friend when ds was tiny just for a fix of pre-baby life. Now, it doesn't matter and they've just cancelled my account card because it's been so long since I spent anything on it!
Do what you need, and don't try to fit a mythical image of 'the perfect mum' - there's no such thing.

Oops... remember 10mins sleep is still worthwhile. Go lie down now!!

ok going to rest for a while. Hope to speak to u all later.

Melsy - if she's starting to sleep longer in the day maybe you don't want to do this, but if you're desperate for daytime sleep - get a battery-operated swing! Mothercare sell them (or Ebay). DD refused to sleep at all during the day unless in motion - it was a lifesaver till she was 4 months when I felt brave enough to do controlled crying. Just another suggestion!

Haven't got time to read other threads so I don't know - are you bf'ing? Can you do it lying down? I used to get comfy on my bed with dd next to me (and a stack of pillows behind her), feed her lying down. I'd go to sleep while she was feeding, then she'd go to sleep too. Bliss. Might work at 3am if you can get your dh to shove over too.

And you said dd was 6 weeks - is she smiling yet? I stopped feeling like I was a dreadful mum when she started smiling at me. Feedback!

Take a poll at your coffee group. Ask how many times they were in tears last week...

And alibubbles what's your website? I'm in north herts and I might need you next time

Melsy we really really have all been there. The first few weeks are so so horrible, but it really does get better, and soon(ish)

You really do need to ask your DH to help more - I'm not sure what he does at work, but I can guarantee you it isn't as difficult as looking after a baby and trying to recover physically from childbirth. It is his child as well, and you need to tell him you need help, and let him give you that help. I know it seems like he doesn't know what to do, especially if she is ill, but neither did you 3 weeks ago. He will learn, and he won't do any major damage whilst he'e learning.
What really worked for us was dh doing the last feed at 10.30. I would go to bed at 8pm so I would usually get at least 5 hours before dd woke. Sometimes dd was asleep in the evenings, sometimes dh had to sit on the sofa and hold her (and sometimes he would put her in her bouncy chair and shove her in front of the TV and hypnotise her into being content )

Don't worry about cuddling her to sleep at the moment - it won't cause a lifetime of misery, honest. My dd's sleep patterns were a bit shot early on (even thought I did do GF). She was aways quite tired in the morning - dh used to get her up and change her nappy at 7am, bring her through to me in bed and I would then feed her. We'd then both fall asleep together until she decided to wake up two hours later.

And there is nothing wrong with lying her in a chair or on a rug in the kitchen whilst you do bottles etc, then you can make sure that you do use every second she is asleep to relax rather than rush around tidying and cleaning.

Does she have a nap in the morning? If so try to use this time to have a shower. Treat yourself to an invigorating shower gel (Aromatherapy associates Revive shower oil worked wonders for me). It really does make a difference to how you feel.

It will get better It will get better It will get better