I can't believe how much fantastic advice has been posted since I did earlier. Mind you that's what Mumsnet is brilliant for.
Have been busy with my mindies, who have been gorgeous today, was a little worried that the 8 month might be clingy after 2 weeks with M&D, but she was delighted to see me this morning, crowing with delight and had to peel the 18 month off at 4.00pm to hand her back, - well she has got 2 older sisters who are mean to her and shut her out of their rooms ( they are lovely girls really. but a baby sis can be a pain!)
I laughed out loud at Aloha's post, my kids thought I was demented, such a compliment, thank you, and to Coddy, cyber hug coming your way!
Zerub, my website is here , sorry to all of you who have seen me post it before. It does need updating a bit. I have just spent a few days in Switzerland with the two lovely children on the last page, I am amazed how much the 9 year old still misses me, but then I looked after him for 7 years, fulltime and many overnights.
Melsy, there is brilliant advice on here, swaddling - I have done it with babies as old as six months who wouldn't settle. I used to take DS out in a big coach built pram and walk the streets, bouncing it up and down saying, you will go to sleep, you will go to sleep, you will.......... I have done the car bit too.
Always always get your self sorted first, you'll feel much better, dressed and ready to face the world and cope, nobody cares if the baby hasn't been bathed, or still in a baby gro, let her cry for a bit, you won't hear her in the shower!
Babies are hard work, they are tiring, and even with all my experience I sometimes find a new one hard work, so will snatch 10 mins on the sofa, in front of the TV, guaranteed to send me to sleep!
The baby I look after at the moment was a nightmare for her mother for the first 3 months, but when she smiled at mum in her cot one morning, she felt the love wash over her, she hadn't thought it was going to happen ever, she fell in love with her baby, and things began to get better. Everyone expects you to love your baby, but it isn't always that simple or automatic. It will happen, soon, I promise.
Get a baby sitter, Sitters are well vetted, scarey as you say, the idea of a stranger looking after your baby, ask for one with newborn experience, ask for a mature mum, granny, not a youngster or nursery nurse, you need someone who understands how you are feeling, go to bed and catch up on sleep, you don't have to go out!
Lots of love, there is lots of support here.